i dont know if i would do it to please a man. i wanted a boobjob myself because after having a baby (12 years ago) fluctuating weight gains and losses, depending on my mood,and one being a little smaller than the other, i would have one. but it wouldnt matter to my h. hes always been an assman <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .i would only do it if YOU wanted one to help your self esteem, not to please your h.

One in eight women in America will get breast cancer in their life time. This is a sobering thought for women considering breast inlargement. You don't want to do anything that will lower your chances of early detection, because breast cancer is a killer disease of horrible proportions. Early detection is the key to survival.

AN

Hey Anyname, how dare you discuss my breast size without consulting me first <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> . Kidding of course. We all have our insecurities about our bodies. (hence my sign in name!) Personally, I'd love smaller boobs. Mine got bigger after breast-feeding and they weigh a ton, especially when my period is due. I have permanent dents in my shoulders from carrying them round!

Anyname, you look great for your age. I really don't think the affairs are about looks, bodies or anything. It is more about opportunity. However, the aftermath is that we, the BS, do lose self-esteem and try to find excuses for it. I keep reminding myself about princess Di, Nicole Kidman, Posh Spice. All totally gorgeous and all their husbands have screwed around., Now having said that, they were all a bit flat-chested <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

my personal $0.02 is no one physical attribute of a woman defines her attractiveness to me.

I know ladies I think are attractive with big boobs and others who are pretty with less big boobs.

I think that any surgery should be undertaken only to please ONESSELF not to please others.

I can understand the comparisons to OP very well. In my own case I was 'blessed' with having a distinctly 'sub optimal' OM. I am a foot taller, 14 years younger, slimmer stronger, broader, better built " there" too it seems , harder working,therefore richer, more faithful, a better Dad and MUCH more modest ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

* those ar all true actually.....I don't know how I would have coped if OM had been in any way lovely or worthy *

All blessings.

It's interesting Bob that the affair partner never measures up to the spouse. I read it over and over again on here.

It's all about how you FEEL when you are with someone. Not about what you see in them. Atleast for me. If I feel happy and appreciated when I am with someone than I tend to want to be with them more.

I can't imagine being attracted to someone because of a body part.

Sometime's I think breast size is more important to women than to men. Just like penis size, it makes no real difference in SF enjoyment, it is about how that person feels about you and about themselves. Pesonality is everything in the bedroom as everywhere else.

SJ’Violet,

I believe the ONLY reason a person must ever go for any type of plastic surgery other than for medical reasons, is if they want to do it for themselves. One must never undergo surgery like breast enlargements to please your spouse or anyone else.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Daisy37:
<strong>Perhaps I am somewhat biased...but I always shake my head when I hear about women getting breast enlargements. I had the real deal and they were a REAL pain.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I had the opposite experience… My whole life I had a flat chest with almost no breast (smaller than a AA cup size). As you can guess this had a big influence on how I felt about my body and my appearance (especially in swimwear). My H never complained about this and never gave me any reason to feel bad about my small breast, but my breast size was still bothering me. Two months ago, I finally had breast enlargements and this is the best thing a could have ever done for myself. I realize now I should have done this years ago, but I was afraid there would be consequences. I don’t have large breast now (I don’t like large breast and neither does my H), but I just have a nice, medium sized “full B” cup now. Because of the medium sized implants, the breast feels and looks natural. I feel much more comfortable about my body and appearance in clothes now and I feel more self-confident. AND my H is happy for me.

Suzet

<small>[ November 11, 2004, 06:32 AM: Message edited by: Suzet* ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by SJ'sViolet:
<strong>Any men out there want to shed some light on the importance of large breasts?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am a man and I like large breasts.

They do not define a woman in my eyes. They are not a requirement. I just like 'em.

BUT... they do NOT make a woman sexy. When is comes to 'sexy', that attribute is something that comes from inside... from being comfortable with your body whatever it's shape or form. And THAT is the key to attractiveness, sexiness, etc...

Having said all that, I'd like to state, for the record, that I too would like to increase my breast size. Only in the man world, we call them "pecs". That's more manly word than boob. Or breast.

Oh yeah, one other thing. I've been with a woman with fakes. In French, we have a saying, "Belle de loin, mais loins d'etre Belle." The rough translation is, 'Looks good from a afar, but is far from good.' Seriously. They were swell to look at (ooh, I should be smacked for that one) but touching them was scarycreepy.

That's all.

dewt

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by weaver:
<strong>
Sometime's I think breast size is more important to women than to men. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">weaver,

I think it is important to the women because they think that they can get more attention from men. They measure the man magnet factor by what cup size they are. I also think that they are fooling themselves when they say that they are doing it for themselves.

IMHO, that is the most ludicrous thing that can be uttered. I will use that <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> gesture everytime with a "yeah...uh huh...right".

They do it to attract men...or to keep a cheating husband from straying, especially when they might catch sight of the OW...and see the things she is sporting. Then, it becomes a competition.

If there were NO men on earth...would women want bigger breasts for "themselves"? I think NOT. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> They want bigger breasts...because the end result is the attention that it garners from men.

I do not think that women are strutting those chests out in the hopes of getting attention and comment from other women... are they?

Any woman who undergoes "elective" surgery like that is willing to risk their lives...and to risk leaving their children motherless. So many things can go wrong in "elective" surgeries.

I had an elective surgery many years ago... a tubal ligation. Had I known then, what I now know about all the things that result from surgeries...I would have opted out.

It is simply not worth the risk.

committed

<small>[ November 11, 2004, 07:06 AM: Message edited by: committedandlovingit ]</small>

I think you are right committed. It is unfortunate that some women need to undergo a life threatening surgery to feel attractive.

It is especially unfortunate because I don't think most men really care about breast size. Like anyname said, get a pretty bra and take care of your appearance and personality. Make your man feel like a king and he won't give a crap about your breast size.

I think it is the fasion/porn/hollywood industry that make women feel inadequate and that they need to look a certain way to be attractive to men, not the men themselves.

Hence my sig line <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I can not speak for the male gender in general, but I think the porn industry is creating a myth in regard to men’s preference for large breasts. And even those who do buy porn of large breasted women usually end up finding themselves spouses with a more moderate breast size.
I can not speak for all men, but I can speak for my self:

1) Breast size is not very important to me in regard to how beautiful or sexy I consider a woman to be. The way you dress, your personality, the sparkling in your eyes, your hairstyle, your confidence, whether you walk erectly or not are all more important factors to me.
2) With point 1 in mind that breast size is not very important to me, I think medium or medium to small breasts are most sexy. I have also found some women with rather small breasts to be very sexy.
3) With point 1 in mind, very large breasts have to me an initial negative effect on how I perceive a woman’s appearance. But if a friendship is developed her personality and the friendship will out weight the appearance. Friendship will also have a positive influence on her appearance in my eyes.
4) With point 1 in mind, there should be some proportionality. A tall woman with large breasts can be very beautiful. Particularly if she walks with her body proudly erect. And small women look best with small or small to medium breasts.

So do not let this myth hurt the image of yourself. I am shure you are beautiful!

Edited to include: If I was your husband I would very much appreciate your willingness to fight weight for my sake. That would make you beautiful in my eyes

<small>[ November 11, 2004, 07:53 AM: Message edited by: Frank57 ]</small>

Violet - just a few, perhaps trite, comments.

1. All men love the female form, God made us that way don't you know!

2. Not all men are the same when it comes to what they "like" most about the female form. I happen to be a "leg man" and really love the "triple diamond" sort of legs. A "well turned ankle"....hot. Just call me a lecherous old man!

3. My wife is 5'7", about 120, size 4/6, a blonde, and a 36C. When I married her 29 years ago she was the same height and weight and about a size 4/6, a brunette (natural) and around a 32A, with great legs. But legs and breasts notwithstanding, I was attracted to the total "her," not any one particular physical aspect.

4. Crude comment alert! Skip if you are easily offended.......for a whole lot of men......."more than a mouthful is wasted." The rest is just a "plaything." Bongos anyone?!

5. If YOU think you need an augmentation for YOUR own self-image, then get it. Just know that they are NOT permanent and you may have to have a repeat at some point. Also, pick a top flight plastic surgeon and there is no noticeable scarring. You have to know where to look, be naked, and have to VERY close to see it. Done correctly, to be in balance with your height and weight, you cannot know they are augmented just by looking. Only those that are "overdone" are noticeable to others. One thing to consider though, it IS a very painful surgery to recover from for a little while, so be sure that you REALLY think it's needed for your own self image and self esteem.

6. I strongly suspect that all this is merely a "trigger" response. Trying to answer the unanswerable question, "what did he see in her that was 'better' than me?" Since you are fairly new to recovery, I would strongly suggest that you "table" the issue for at least 1-2 years. I can tell you with full confidence that he didn't stray because of any physical shortcoming on your part....he strayed because of a mental, emotional, and spiritual shortcoming on HIS part. Now he's regaining his sanity and CHOOSING reality and not "fake fantasy."

I guess that means you already have all the "best parts" that really matter!

God bless.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by dewt:

In French, we have a saying, "Belle de loin, mais loins d'etre Belle."
dewt [/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Mon mari dit la meme chose. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Tu parle en francais? C`est formidable. Ca fait longtemps que mon mari cherche un francophone pour discuter avec sur Marriage Builders.

<small>[ November 11, 2004, 09:29 AM: Message edited by: Daisy37 ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by committedandlovingit:

I think it is important to the women because they think that they can get more attention from men.

committed [/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You do get more attention but it`s the wrong kind of attention IMHO and it`s from the wrong kind of men
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<small>[ November 11, 2004, 09:37 AM: Message edited by: Daisy37 ]</small>