My WH came to me and confessed 6 weeks after the PA started. The guilt was killing him. I suspected something but always thought he was better then this. In fact, I remember watching the Kobe Bryant situation earlier in the year and he made some comment about why in the world do men do that, it's so stupid. I remember smiling to myself thinking I had one of the good guys out there. He was horrible at hiding it, as soon as he said the words I knew exactly when it started. He seemed to have changed overnight, and finally I understood why.

WAs never told ,, had to track them down like a dog ,,, very tiring ,,, H would never admit no matter how much proff thrown at him .

So I had to catch them together ,,, and even after that I had to track OW down to get someone to confess ....

HOW would I have liked to been told ???

Before they started LOL

If ya thought the grass was greener get a D then screw anything ya want ,,,

I still haven't told my husband yet. Still waiting for the right time either when we move or OM moved. My husband came home while I was on the computer typing a post for this website. He read the title and asked if I was laundry mistress and I said "yes." Then he said "Oh" I am not sure if he read the captions such as infidelity, general questions 11 blah blah. Then he said he was going to pick the son up from rehearsals and then go get groceries and asked if I needed anything. I answered "No"
Then he asked me if if the boys(OM's boys) have come over and I said "no." I had lied to him and my family and told them the reason why we couldn't see them anymore is because OM and his girlfriend are back together again and she wanted him all to himself. Partially true actually but OM still wanted to be in touch with us and still do family get togethers and such. Um I don't think so. The thing about OM is that I am not in love with him. I am angry at home and I partially blame him for this mess that I am in. I think he is a player and that he manipulated a lot of this to happen. I remember early in our friendship I made it clear that I was "content" in my marriage and that I loved my husband. Then, we started telling dirty jokes to one another and that just lead things down the wrong road. I knew that he and I could NEVER be together because he was too chauvinistic and controlling for my taste and I told him that. OM is really an ******* and jerk and has problems with committment when it comes to relationships. Divorced twice and he allowed the 2nd woman to mistreat his kids. I also knew that his girlfriend at the time was the woman he cheated with at the end of his marriage with his sons' mother. I knew all this about him so how on earth did I get sucked into his smooth talking?
I am sucker for tall black goodlooking business men who likes to play chess and D and D(Dungeons and Dragons).

I am dreading telling H but I really wish he would come up and ask me "Is there anything you need to tell me?"

Maybe you could say to H, "Is there anything you want to ask me?"

Regarding infidelity text recommendations. Read them at the library if you don't yet want H to find them at home.

And, read all the articles, not just this forum, on the MB home page.

T

Thank you everyone. I had told H tonight during the music awards. You can see the forum under I told him. Definitely not how I wanted to tell him but i kept asking him "Is there anything you want to ask me?"

I hadn't read Thors post yet so Thor and I must be on the same wavelength or something like that.

Now I am wondering if he will be protective of the marriage or not. My guess is not since I am the one telling him about the A after I had decided a NC on my own accord.

I also wonder if he goes back to drinking. That was my main concern about ever leaving him and worrying if he started to drink. But now I am at a point where I realize that I don't care. It is not my job to insure that he doesn't drink anymore.

He also mentioned to me that he will never let me go and that he will hunt me down. Maybe it was just all talk if he is shutting down like this. I don't know. I guess time will tell.