Hi SerendipiT,

You made an error in your last post.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Cheating on his wife with India chic, cheating on his fiance India chic, with a new one, Toronto-chic, and now I am learning of a new one, San Antonio chic. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It should read: Cheating on his wife with India chic, also cheating on his wife with a new one, Toronto-chic, and now cheating on his wife again with San Antonio chic.

AMM: I usually call her something much more vile, like Curry eatin-------, but, in retrospect, her race has nothing to do with it. It is the woman she is that bothers me more.

I already told him. He called my Monday night with this haughty attitude:

WH: Don't hold dinner
DIPI: why
WH: I will not be home
DIPI: when will you be home
WH: later
DIPI: where are you going?
WH: I do not know
DIPI: so let me get this straight, you are going you do not know where, and returning you do not know when, wandering the streets of Tampa aimlessly?
WH: yes, dipi, I am going to wander the streets (laughing arrogantly)
DIPI: well, that is too bad, because I needed to talk to you, so I guess I will do it now
WH: oh yeah, about what (arrogantly)
DIPI: yeah, I think you need to go. It is just not working out.
WH: Oh. (sounding much more humble now)
DIPI: I did not want to tell you on the phone, but (started to justify, then stopped) you just need to go. I am sorry.
WH: OK. I will be out by the weekend
DIPI: you still need to work out a schedule to see the kids, they need you right now
WH: as soon as I get settled somewhere, we will work that out
DIPI: ok

then he hung up on me.

We got into a big disagreement last night, for a similiar disrespectful, arrogant attitude (he asked to use my phone, I asked who he was calling, and he irritatedly answered "A friend.")
I guess he feels like I am trying to control him, get in his business. He wants to flop at my house, use my phone, puter, everything, without any accountability to anyone.

We will be divorced on 11/22. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Thanks, Binder!

She does not know of the others.

Ohhhh, surprise surprise for the Indian inamorata!

So here's your job: when he asks you why you are doing this, you do not engage him in discussion. You simply repeat, "Because it's not working out." Why isn't it working out? "Because it's just not working out." You do not become a *****. You do not try to teach him anything. He knows the score. And it's not working out.

<small>[ November 17, 2004, 08:49 PM: Message edited by: A.M.Martin ]</small>

Most recent development...

He called me last night to apologize for his behavior lately (GEE...that is a SHOCKER).

I told him I appreciate the apology. And left it at that. I did not rescind my request for him to leave, etc.

Now what do I do, when he is seeming to make no move to get off my couch and out of my house.

Then, to top it off, my son tells me yesterday, "This would be the best Christmas ever if Daddy would stay." I was confused, because he had told me days earlier, he wished Dad would go. I realize right now as I am typing this, he cannot feel like he has any responsibility, guilt, credit otherwise, related to WH's coming or goings.

WHAT A MESS I HAVE MADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DipiT, I know a man in the Detroit area. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

{{{dipiT}}}

You would think with nothing to offer I would just keep my mouth shut, but I just wanted you to know, I'm thinking about you.

Jelly

Thanks Jelly.

So....

what is his number?

Say "Bye, Bye" to serial cheatin' almost exH. His fog has turned him into someone you wouldn't want to be Med to. Still, I know how hard 11/22 will be for you. {{{{{{{DIPI}}}}}}}}}! CV

Blech...

What do you do when you say go, and he does not go, and you say go again, and he pretends he is going, but is just not GOING????

I HATE THIS.

It took me hours of anxiety and worry to tell him to go anyways...and then I tell him, and he agrees, but does not go, and now, I am right back where I started.

He is crying about how broke he is.

I hate this!

I do not want to do the mean and psycho thing where I dump his sheista on the front lawn.

Dear Serendipity,

If he can't show his remorse, then even with pretty words he needs to go. If he doesn't pack up his stuff, put it in a garbage bag and put it in the garage or on the front porch. Been there done that with that kind of stuff.

As for your children, sit them down and let them know that due to their dad's disrespectful acts he has lost his right to live with this family. That your family is valuable to you and each of them are your gems. He does not appreciate his family and acting like a spoiled child. In time he could even do more hurtful acts. Because the safety of your family is important to you, dad has chosen to live elsewhere. Let them know that their dad may say he doesn't have anywhere to go. If that were really true, he would not be disrespectful to the family. Plain and simple. Let them know you are there for them and reassure each child of your love for them. Don't speak in behalf of the WS. He will have to do that. Ask for their love and support and reassure them you will all make it through together, as a family.

take care,
L.

Dipi,

I understand what you are going through.My WH is still coming to the home every other weekend(and is loving it by the way <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> ) but that will be ending by December.Although the look of happiness in my youngest eyes for WH being here kills me for I know I have to do,it's still hard.

Not only have I told WH that he will have to make arrangements to see the kids and NOT stay here overnight anymore and be here in the home but I also told him that he has until the end of January 2005 to get all his stuff out or it will end up on the driveway.I think your WH and mine are freeloaders to some degree.They will take advantage of our kindness and our situation if it benefits them only.

Don't let him put any blame on you or excuses for HIS situation.It's 100% his fault for where he is now.Let him deal with those consequences fully."I'm sorry that you made the choice to commit adultery and therefore are now broke".

It's no longer YOUR problem.He's still spiraling downward.Stand clear.

O