Mschluter,
From what I’ve read on these boards, exposure is a very powerful tool in an attempt to stop an A and safe the M. I think you heading the right way with this... There are many threads and posts on this forum regarding exposure and if you need advice on this, I will post you some links/posts:
Here is a post Starfish* once send on exposure and I think it is a very good guideline:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Exposure is one of the strongest and most necessary parts of ending affairs....especially when NC cannot be established or affairs have become entrenched. The right time to do it is Plan A. Why? Because in Plan B....it is viewed far more as revenge, sour grapes and simply vindictive. When you are actively trying to save your marriage is when you should expose.
The model of exposure I like best is done in steps. Because exposure is so traumatic...and can cause huge withdrawals...do the exposure that is necessary. Is the OM married...if so...then exposure begins with his wife. Wat and I recently discussed this....he called it a model of concentric circles:
At the center is the WS....they are the first to be told what you know and how you know it. Just outside of that circle is the other BS (if there is one). Together...they are the first line of defense against no contact. If contact ends....exposure goes no farther. If contact continues after it has been revealed to them....close family (parents, siblings on both sides) plus a trusted pastor or priest... are the next circle. If contact ends...it goes no further. If contact resumes, close friends/neighbors who are also friends of the marriage would be informed. If contact still continues....the last circle are work and church.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
