Cherimoya,

I would get a personal trainer to help me to loose weight even faster and toned my body. Do the opposite of what she is saying. Now, how many young women would love to have your FWW's position ?.

Your W is trying to make you jump hoops, to put you down ... so she has an excuse to have A. Like many others trying to point it out here, your W is either having contact or having A. Complete facial make over would not be good enough for your W. It is just an excuse.

-rh-

Just got a text from her.

Says have a nice day (I'm taking the kids to a car show) and that she's been looking for some new bedding for our bedroom and what colour would I like. To the outsider every inch the loving wife that she isn't.

LOL what is going on inside her head ?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Cherimoya:
<strong>LOL what is going on inside her head ? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">FOG <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> , like a typical WW.

Honestly, do you think your W feels threathen by you loosing weight ?. i.e more attractive ?

-rh-

No I don't think so. In fact I don't think she sees me as a soon to be slim guy who will attract other women. She stills me as the fat guy through her foggy eyes. Her view is even if I lose weight I'm bound to put it on again when the heat's off. Not this time.

I put a load of my old clothes in a charity bag this morning. Boy it felt good. The way I feel at the moment I might send her with the next batch. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Show it to her that you could keep your weight down. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

If her other EN is Admiration, it is very cheap <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ... it cost you a hot air only. You should make it as a habit to do so.

What her other ENs ?

-rh-

Definately sociability. She hates being on her own or not doing anything. I fell down on that one badly which I think was a big cause of the A. After work I just wanted to chill. I've fixed that one and found if I make the effort I enjoy it too. She acknowledges that but because I'm now enjoying it too it doesn't seem to count. It's taken for granted.
I've thought about her actions and come with these possible options

a) She's having an affair and deep in fog
b) She's looking for a way out but guilt won't let her leave so by making my life intolerable she's hoping I'll walk leaving her conscience clear
c) She's testing my resolve. If I can carry on with my plan while she's being so mean then she can be more certain I'll stick to it.
d) She's completely confused and doesn't know what she wants. The excitement of an A combined with a steady home life. Well if I can't have cake neither can she.

Probably a combination of a number of these

Cherimoya,

Regardless the reasons, it is very obvious that she is trying to sabotage your effort. You will end up in a mental hospital if you keep guessing about your W. You should focus on loosing weight, bring her to social gathering that she could feel that she is a trophy wife <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> , bring her to help you shop new clothing for you.

Give it time and be presistence.

-rh-

cheri...

I am sorry but I think she is involved with her OM again. I would even guess that it never really ended from before. As long as she works with him, you stand to lose her. I think I would call the OM's wife and ask her a bunch of questions, such as,

Does she feel a disconnect from her husband, etc?

Is she suspicios that the Affair is ongoing again, etc?

I would not let my WS or FWS go on a business trip with a past lover under any circunstances. I pressured my wife until she quit her job and it cost us a bunch of money and insurance, etc after shw quit it but I felt it was worth it if we could save our marriage.

I think you need go back into your affair mode and get tough with her and start drilling her for information. Good luck.

TooSoon

I guess you are right but she is on 3 months notice so it would take a time. Hers is a specialised field so if she just walked out she'd find it hard to get another job.

Maybe its time for some 180s. I think I've been too compliant in the past and listened to her babble. The funny thing is the OM was a complete sh*t to her when he joined the company. I remember comforting her when she was in tears from some of the things he did. Then 5 years later she wants to spend the rest of her life with him. When I asked about this she doesn't reply. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

On the positive side, had a really good day with the boys at the car show. Some real fun for the first time in ages. I'd really like her back but I'm not going to sell my soul for it.

Charimoya,

Your wife went with her friends to Dubai. Call OM's W and find out where OM is. Could he be in Dubai also?

No I'm 100% sure he's not there.

Just to clarify we get 32 days vacation a year so 10 days isn't such a big deal from the vacation time point of view. We've had two vacations as a family this year. Still hurts she wanted to go though.

Quick update

Got an email using her friend's email account this morning. Started by saying

"Finally got time to write you a line or two..."

then followed two paragraphs saying what a great time she's having then finished with

""Give my love to the boys and tell them I am missing them."

So I'm just the post boy.

Sent a polite text back saying thanks for the email and said I would pass on the message to the boys.

I think I really have had enough of this.