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Good morning 3, I was just leaving for work and realized I never logged out last night. I'm surprised AOL didn't bump my connection off. They do it when I'm trying to work online. LOL! Miss M has a thread near the bottom of page 1. If you haven't already seen it, I know she'd love to hear from you. Well, I'd much rather stay here and chit-chat and spill my guts--but duty calls. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I'll check on you and Miss M later on.
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OK LUV--- I forgive ya ,,, SHE IS BEUTIFUL,,, I love the PIC of her crying LOL
I am happy to here that both of you are doing great after all that ! That sucks to only end up in c-section after all that . CONGRATS AGAIN !!
ANYONE READING LUVBIRD had a BABY GIRL NOV 21st !
TO4T- already read and responded to our wonderful MissM ... Thanks for letting me know but I found it alreay !
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3, Hey girlfriend. What a mess! And none of it your fault. Does your H expect you to go to this event and LIE <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> to xow if she approaches you? I don't know what is going on with him, but I would have to agree with pepper, that perhaps the ow is more psycho than your H has led you to believe, and this is his way of protecting you. I believe I emailed you on this subject. I don't see why you should stay home or limit your life because of this, you have not asked for any of this stress that is going on right now. I for one cannot understand why your H would threaten you with divorce if you run into xow. You are not deliberately doing this, it is a field trip for the kids for goodness sake!! I mean, what is going on with your H? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> He really is putting you between a rock and a hard place, I mean threatening you with divorce if xow finds out you are back together? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Not a good thing to have to live with. I would go if I were you, avoid ow if you see her, but if she confronts you, hold onto your integrity. I see no reason for you to be dishonest. It is not who you are. I can understand your dilemma, to have divorce held over your head when all you are doing is going on a field trip with the school. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> I don't know all of your H's reasons for being the way he is on this particular subject, but it doesn't look good on him. I can understand why other people would think he was still in contact with ow. Why is he protecting her first? Didn't she do her best to harm you, destroy marriage? Why is he so afraid she will contact him? Did he ever hear of hanging up the phone? Anyway, I guess all I have is questions. LOL. Luvbird, contratulations!!!! TO4T, thanks for your reply to my thread and caring about me, and I hope things are well with you. Gosh, thanks for caring about me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Love you 3, prayers as always! Love in Christ, Miss M
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3, So what am I, chopped liver? Am I a thread killer, or what's the deal? Love ya <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Love in Christ, Miss M
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This might be the last chance I am on till I update tommorrow after trip ! I have been up every night last night the worst and I suppose tonight worse . H is now today really showing his anxity about this ... He wanted to let me no that OW has no problem with confrintation ,,, type of person who will kick a$$ if the mood strikes ,,, FUNNY I knew some of this but the WHIMP hasn't come for me yet ! Also she has no morals or shame ,, she would start in a group of kids <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> LOOSER ! I don't know if its his last effort for me to keep the kids home or what but its not working . NO ONE at school knows of this ,,at all ! So heres what we are looking at people (me) 1-IF IF ahe sees me or kids she could get loud. I do not think that will happen . 2- SHE will call H after the trip a- if she does he wants to avoid all calls b- if he takes the call I want him to tell her I am with my W do not ever call me again c- if he lies again to her and does not admit we are together ,,, I told him I will call her imedately and tell her everything I won't be denied ! d- he will then file for D 3- nothing happens and we do not see one another and I continue to hurt every day knowing that no matter what he will avoid telling her he loves me and she was a mistake .. Thats basicly it in a nut shell ! lastly my kids (my dd espeacialy ) are very excited and would freak out not to go !I wll not let this HO run me and my childrens life ! And no fear I would never beat her infront of my kids LOL I will suck up what ever comes my way , then file a restraning order if nessesary . I really thoight about not going cause I do not know if my selfestemm can handle seeing this BARBIE DOLL ! MISS M never chop liver and your not a thread killer ITS me in general lately LOL Thank you all for listening !
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This might be the last chance I am on till I update tommorrow after trip ! I have been up every night last night the worst and I suppose tonight worse . H is now today really showing his anxity about this ... He wanted to let me no that OW has no problem with confrintation ,,, type of person who will kick a$$ if the mood strikes ,,, FUNNY I knew some of this but the WHIMP hasn't come for me yet ! Also she has no morals or shame ,, she would start in a group of kids <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> LOOSER ! I don't know if its his last effort for me to keep the kids home or what but its not working . NO ONE at school knows of this ,,at all ! So heres what we are looking at people (me) 1-IF IF ahe sees me or kids she could get loud. I do not think that will happen . 2- SHE will call H after the trip a- if she does he wants to avoid all calls b- if he takes the call I want him to tell her I am with my W do not ever call me again c- if he lies again to her and does not admit we are together ,,, I told him I will call her imedately and tell her everything I won't be denied ! d- he will then file for D 3- nothing happens and we do not see one another and I continue to hurt every day knowing that no matter what he will avoid telling her he loves me and she was a mistake .. Thats basicly it in a nut shell ! lastly my kids (my dd espeacialy ) are very excited and would freak out not to go !I wll not let this HO run me and my childrens life ! And no fear I would never beat her infront of my kids LOL I will suck up what ever comes my way , then file a restraning order if nessesary . I really thoight about not going cause I do not know if my selfestemm can handle seeing this BARBIE DOLL ! MISS M never chop liver and your not a thread killer ITS me in general lately LOL Thank you all for listening !
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Hey 3,
I don't know...sounds pretty weird.
Like you said, it's almost like he's trying to keep you from going. Like OW is a pyscho.
Or,
What?
Why would he be so anxious?
Do you think there's been continued contact that he's afraid she'll tell you about?
Weird.
Ignore the OW. Stand proud. Be there for your kids.
HAVE FUN!
sss
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SSS- WEIRD is one word ,,stupid, imature, selfish ,,are a couple of others,LOL YES he is saying OW is pyshco (sp) The doesn't bother me , I know shes alittle LOOSE upstairs (as well as down stairs LOL) BUT again for some not she hasn't even ever called me ,, she don't scare me , nor nothing she could tell me scares me either . If they are in contact well it would hurt but not as much the trueth would relieve me ! Do I think thats it well , less then 50% .. I can find no evidence of that ,, but hey a OP and a cheater can find away ! A FWS can ACT and SHOW actions of faithful and very well be in CONTACT ,,, I believe I know him well enough , I think (think) He really wants to just get away with the lies he told her and that she went away and he feels good that way ,,,, that he got away with lieing to her . I still say a lie will always come to bite ya in the A$$ THIS TIME I will not be the doctor fixing it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> THANKS AGAIN !
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I'll be thinking about you tomorrow, 3. I'm betting the two of you won't even run into each other. So try to relax and just enjoy the movie and the time with your kidlets.
~ Snow
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Atta girl 3! You're thinking on the right track. I hope all goes well today--and you and the kids have a great time--I'll check back tonight. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> {{{{{3}}}}}
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Home from trip , kids had a nice time DD was very happy with her first bus ride and enjoyed the movie . SON had a good time as well . NO $LUT sighted ! SNOW , you where right didn't wasn't any where near our school if they where even there. I can't say that I am not disapointed , I am but not about seeing her or having my kids see her, that I am greatful for ... I am disappointed in H's continued reactions to these near "what if situations" He called and was very happy , said to me laughingly that I sound disappointed and I told him I was .... And the reason for it .... LIke the brick wall he is he just said ,, I don't want this crap ever back in my life ... YOU no what I never wanted it to begin with , so how do ya think I get to feel ? Oh well , like I said, it was great that my kids didn't deal with seeing her . AS for me I am well aware now that , her not knowing will make me always feel second to OW . and that H won't or can't see that as a problem that will remain for us ! I pray for a new job for him , so that when ever it is I can walk in her job and tell her the trueth ,,, and she would then have no way of contacting H ever ! so he can't say that would cause him a problem in his life ! After all why would he object once the cell and beeper is gone (from this job) unless they are in secret contact she has no way of calling him ! So until then I feel recovery is in limbo ! I want to thank you all for listening , responding and supporting me ,, I really needed it these past couple of days .. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> 3
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3, I must say I'm glad there was not a confrontation, but for your sake, I kinda wish there had been so you could get out what you need to get out once and for all. I'm sorry you feel second to OW because of your H's actions. I wish he could understand how that makes you feel and get off the pot and do something about it. There's got to be some compromise that both of you could agree to to get your recovery over this hurdle.
In the meantime, I'll be hoping for a new job, phone, and brain for your H. LOL!
Have a great weekend.
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3, I popped in to check up on ya last night but didn't get a chance to post. Anyway, TO4T said everything I was thinking anyway, lol!
I really hope you and H can get this issue resolved soon, because it's been standing in your way for a long time now.
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I've done that too, felt like I was loaded for "bear" and then nothing. But, now if you have a surprise sighting, you are mentally prepared.
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3, Understand that there is a God, who loves you and is not going to let your children witness a major situation that they will always remember. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> This was not your time. I just hope your fws gets it at some point in life. Sorry this was so stressful for you. Sorry your H was HAPPY. AS LONG AS HE CAN LIVE A LIE. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Sorry, 3, just not in the greatest mood. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> Love you and Love in Christ, Miss M
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by 3isacrowd:
AS for me I am well aware now that , her not knowing will make me always feel second to OW .
and that H won't or can't see that as a problem that will remain for us ! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Can you see your thinking error in each sentence?
You are stalling your own recovery ... see if you can spot how.
Pep
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PEP- if your reading ?
Can I see how I am stalling ?
To a degree, I am confused to this issue , N/C means N/C , and that is what he is doing .
avoiding and wanting to avoid contact at any means possiable right ?
I am stalling it in a sense that I want her to KNOW he is home if the opertunity should come .
NOW he is giving me complete honesty when he says , he will not take any chances to have contact with her ,,, but the problem lyes with the WHAT IF ???
SO based on that I feel HE is stalling recovery ,by still saying he is not able to tell OW trueth IF IF it should ever happen .
ARE you saying that I should call OW and tell her ?
and that by doing so I will know that he will leave or worse won't but will then still lie to her ... and use that as an excuse that I am the one who broke N/C ?????
LIke I said all along I am confused ...
LIVING with this and moving on is something that I am sucking up and I do not feel good about that .
GIVE me your insight to how you see ME stalling the recovery . please .
Tank you .
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by 3isacrowd:
AS for me I am well aware now that , her not knowing will make me always feel second to OW .</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">A thinking error ---> predicting how your will "always feel" about yourself when determined by what someone else does ... draws you into an emotional dead end.
Are you aware that you can choose to feel superior to OW any time you wish, independent of what OW knows or does not know?
Pep
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
and that H won't or can't see that as a problem that will remain for us ! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Your H sees a problem. His perspective is from a different angle. Therefore his solution is different than yours. Your job is to understand his perspective and his job is to understand your perspective. This can be POJA'd. But first there must be an opportunity to understand what each other's posiition is.
Try not to seek understanding so you can change his position, but to seek understanding so you can be loving and feel closer to each other.
Your solution to the problem as you see it makes your H very uncomfortable. Why is that?
Pep
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