</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm 11 months into a lifetime of NC</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> So very nicely put kiwij !!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

One of the best responses I've read from a FWS on these boards.

Thank you, BIJ, *blush, blush*. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Coming from you that means a lot. I always admire your posts.

Jen

<small>[ December 04, 2004, 02:22 PM: Message edited by: KiwiJ. ]</small>

Thanks for telling me to loose myself from my wife's thread. Now ima go read about boundries. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

checking out now

Greer:

Has there been a WW who went NC after D-day and actually kept her word? I DON'T THINK SO!

My wife promised to do so. She changed the cell number right away. However, gave me many reasons as to why it was not a good idea to change the home No. She did the slow dance and had phone contact for about three months. She even saw OM in person once on a street corner. My wife claims that with every contact her withdrawal did not get worse, but that she needed to let go slow for the sake of the OM who was distraught. I am told that permanent NC started three months ago.

I wrote OM and asked him to be NC, but as you can imagine he could care less. My wife did not change the email but gave the password after D-day. I got to read the sappy emails from OM. It was not a good idea------ I am sure the sappy emails had some effect on my wife.

BTW, I don't think my wife thought OM was the man of her life, however, there is something about affairs that cause WWs to act real silly and they will lie and do whatever it takes to maintain the high. There is a high associated with the A. It is a state full of energy and enthusiasm where one becomes an adolescent once again.

I believe the only way to deal with this is to put your foot down and not take the BS. If putting your foot down is perceived as LBing so be it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> [/B] Has there been a WW who went NC after D-day and actually kept her word? I DON'T THINK SO!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sorry, Stanley.....but you are wrong. [B]I did. In fact, I confessed my own D-day and then maintained NC. Even after my H said he wanted D....even after we have been separated for 4 months, and filed for D....OM contacted me for the first time in 1 1/2 years....and even though I am not with H, and he wants to be D - resolved on it, in fact...

I have maintained NC.

Sorry, but it does happen.

On the other hand, I can understand why you have these feelings, Eyeore (btw - love eyeore - he was always so loveable, but didn't think he was....think that touches something inside?).

GG, it really would be a good thing (IMVHO) if you stay apart from each other's threads. Both my H and I posted here in the beginning....we read each others threads, and I truly believe it hurt us more than helped. Only if the two of you can be truly honest with each other will it really help.

And from someone who's M did not work out after the A, I would encourage that you both be honest with each other......GG, the honesty from her is going to hurt....but if you just remember that the hurt will only last for a moment.....compared to a lifetime of love and happiness.....it's worth it.

Eyeore....Don't be afraid to tell GG the truth. Trust in him....trust that he will be able to take what you give him. Trust that he will stick with you through all this...that he loves you enough to worth through all this....

Withdrawal is hard . But it can be done. And later, you will realize that your R with OM was based on an 'unhealthy you' - and once you become healthy, you will know that it would never have lasted with both of you being 'unhealthy'. Trust me on this....I was a FWS.....

Anyway, Eyeore - withdrawal does get better. Even though you might think you can handle if he e-mails you again.....go ahead and delete the account. You need to show GG that you are willing to do anything to work on the M. It is crucial at this point.

And if you are honest about NC with OM, then you will be able to go ahead and do it even though you want to handle it yourself. At this point, it is a matter of respect for GG.

I wish the best for you both.....honestly.

Good luck! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

(((((((((((((((((LIT)))))))))))))))))))

I KNEW THERE WAS ONE OUT THERE!

Eyeore:

As per the famous words of Kiwij; which part of NC you did not understand? The N or the C.