Here's an even better source of info... direct from the gov of Quebec...

Publication on civil unions from the Governement of Quebec

My impression, is that once you are apart, the union is considered broken. Short of calling a lawyer, I can't give you much better than that.

dewt

K... facts checked...

We've filed together since '95.
2004 we do not file together.

dewt

Hi dewt,

First, I wasn't irritated, I was frustrated.

It seems to me that we go off on a tangent every time it APPEARS that you are "changing the rules to suit your current purpose" and I think it might appear that way because I do not understand the guidelines of common law marriage.

You are very clear that you were married five years ago and had an affair, you are very clear that Dylan's relationship was an affair, but you say that you DATED within this past year. That implies that you were not married this past year and when I ask you if you were married or not, I don't get a clear answer. Understanding common law marriage might help me understand your past and current frameworks.

The info you provided is confusing to me. This is my understanding of what I read. Please clear up anything I am misundertanding. Since you included info for the province of Ontario, I'm assuming that is where you live and the laws that govern you.

*** Federal law does not provide for common law "marriage" but does provide for common law "status" (I'm assuming it's for people who live in provinces that recognize common law marriage).

*** Ontario recognizes common law marriage if a) you have lived together for three years, or b) you have a child in common and have "cohabitated in a relationship of some permanence."

*** There is no info provided for when it is considered common law marriage for tax purposes.

From this info, I can see that you were common law married starting either 3 years after you were living together or after mini was born (whichever came first). This info does not tell me if you're still common law married or if you are divorced now.

You have said things to the effect that you're common law married until you no longer live together and that's why you call it dating this past year.

I might not remember this correctly, but didn't you say that you moved out with mini under the terms of Plan B (which is a separation to preserve the love bank until both spouses agree to terms under which they will live together again or until they divorce, but the spouses are still married)?

I'm just as confused as ever, dewt. Under the laws of Ontario, would you moving out with mini be considered as you divorcing Dylan? Under the laws of Ontario, would Dylan moving to your new residence be considered as you two remarrying?

Sorry this went so long, dewt. I have an idea that I think might go a long way in helping you to break a couple patterns and help you to move closer to true reconciliation with Dylan, but we have to start with the basics. Before starting with the basics, I have to understand where exactly you've been and where you're starting from now.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LovingBoundaries:
<strong>First, I wasn't irritated, I was frustrated.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Frustration is a kind of irritation. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I did not mean to tangent. I was legitimately trying to address your questions. Part of me rails against the idea of this discussion...

Dating... cheating... in the end, does it matter what you call it? If we decide that it was dating, does it make it any less hurtful or destructive?

Also, calling it 'dating' was my foggy way of justifying my actions. And I eschew justifications... all to often, they are a way of convincing oneself that 'I was right' when one really knows that, 'I was wrong'.

I feel strongly about this, which is why I keep coming back to it.

But, if you are going somewhere else with this, please (gently) pull me back on track and tell me where we are going with this.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LovingBoundaries:
<strong>That implies that you were not married this past year and when I ask you if you were married or not, I don't get a clear answer.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ok. I'll try again. Legally, we were not common law while we were apart. It was not a 'separation'. HOWEVER, morally, in my heart, I was still a married man, even without my Wife. That's why my answer is confusing. Because there are two answers that contradict each other.

We have spent some time living in Ontario, but right now, we are Quebec residents. Vive la Quebec, Je me souviens. Oui oui, la-la.

I moved out with Mini-dewt when my Wife wouldn't stop her affair with our room-mate and wouldn't commit to working on our relationship. I went to a sort of Plan B in March. At that time I was dating, but questioning my decision.

Legally, I'm not sure what our status is right now. I think we are room-mates. We share an apartment but we each have our own rooms. Both our names are on the lease.

Clearer? Or more confused?

dewt

"Frustration is a kind of irritation."

I didn't know that. I thought they were two different things altogether. This is really going off the subject at hand, but could you give examples of other kinds of irritation?

Back to the subject at hand.....

You said:
"But, if you are going somewhere else with this, please (gently) pull me back on track and tell me where we are going with this."

Yes, I'm going somewhere else with this.

You asked:
"Clearer? Or more confused?"

Both <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . But I'm more clear and less confused. We're getting somewhere!

I started reading the Quebec info. When did you live in Ontario and when did you start living in Quebec?

You said:
"Legally, we were not common law while we were apart."

So while you were apart you were not married (according to the law of Ontario, if that's where you were living)?

You said:
"Legally, I'm not sure what our status is right now."

Me neither LOL. But it explains why I don't get a clear answer from you.

According to the Quebec info, I think you are considered to be in a de facto union. I'm not sure because I can't find any criteria except that you are living together, and it doesn't give criteria for the conditions. I'm thinking that there must be some conditions, otherwise two college roommates could be considered to be in a de facto union.

We're almost to the end of this, dewt. Btw, if you've lived in Quebec from the time Dylan's relationship started until now, your answers to the married or not questions would make a whole lot of sense now!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LovingBoundaries:
<strong> ... but could you give examples of other kinds of irritation?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sure... when you're wearing a shirt and it's way to tight in the armpits... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

So... yes... the subject at hand.

Let's say, for the sake of argument, that 'legally' Dylan and I have not been married since the beginning of January, last year. And let's say we are still not married as we have two separate bedrooms.

Dylan and I were in Ontario for 'bout 2 years. Before that, Quebec.

dewt

Like I said before:
"I have an idea that I think might go a long way in helping you to break a couple patterns and help you to move closer to true reconciliation with Dylan, but we have to start with the basics. Before starting with the basics, I have to understand where exactly you've been and where you're starting from now."

So....
"Let's say, for the sake of argument"

....is not going to help. I need facts.

I'm getting confused again, dewt. Give me a chronological timeline.

What year did you start living together? Ontario or Quebec?

What year was mini born? What were your living arrangements? Ontario or Quebec?

When did you stop living together? AT THAT TIME, did you intend it to be a separation or a breakup? Ontario or Quebec?

While you were not living together, did you decide to change the status of the conditions of not living together any more (either from separation to breakup OR from breakup to separation)? Ontario or Quebec?

When did you start living together again? Ontario or Quebec?

Where are you living now? Ontario or Quebec?

Back to the taxes:
Why were you able to file jointly until 2004? Why are you not able to file jointly for 2004?

We're almost there, dewt. Btw, I think the idea I have can work no matter what your legal status has been/is. However, I think that you will keep spinning your wheels if we don't start out with a clear understanding of where you've been and where you're starting from now.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LovingBoundaries:
<strong>
So....
"Let's say, for the sake of argument"

....is not going to help. I need facts.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This, of course is very funny. I guess I asked for it...


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LovingBoundaries:
<strong>What year did you start living together? Ontario or Quebec?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">1995, in Quebec.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LovingBoundaries:
<strong>What year was mini born? What were your living arrangements? Ontario or Quebec?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">96, in Quebec

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LovingBoundaries:
<strong>When did you stop living together?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Jan 2nd, 2004.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LovingBoundaries:
<strong>AT THAT TIME, did you intend it to be a separation or a breakup? Ontario or Quebec?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That is unclear. I would not feel it fair to give my version without Dylan present to give hers.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LovingBoundaries:
<strong>While you were not living together, did you decide to change the status of the conditions of not living together any more (either from separation to breakup OR from breakup to separation)? Ontario or Quebec?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes. Numerous times. And I take 'you' to mean both of us or either of us. I was living in Quebec, she in Ontario.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LovingBoundaries:
<strong>When did you start living together again? Ontario or Quebec?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I guess officially this august. From June to August is grey area. At all times we've had separate rooms.

W </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LovingBoundaries:
<strong>Where are you living now? Ontario or Quebec?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Both in Quebec. Most of our belongings still stored in Ontario in the house with OP and others living there.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LovingBoundaries:
<strong>Back to the taxes:
Why were you able to file jointly until 2004? Why are you not able to file jointly for 2004?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">We were living together.
We were not even living together for most of 2004.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LovingBoundaries:
<strong>I think that you will keep spinning your wheels if we don't start out with a clear understanding of where you've been and where you're starting from now. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ok. Sorry if my replies seem abrupt. I have Mini waiting for the computer and also I didn't want to talk to much and confuse things up. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

dewt

You said:
"This, of course is very funny. I guess I asked for it..."

Keep that sense of humor, dewt. And, yes, you did ask for it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .


Did you and Dylan live together the whole time from 1995 to January 2004? After you fill in where you were living, I need you to fill in some more info. Fill in all the affairs -- 1) Month(s) and Year, 2) Was it PA, EA, EA turned PA, or PA turned EA?

I'm not sure if this will work, but if you copy and paste the chronology, delete the questions and fill in the answers, and add the extra info, do you think it will work like when you make changes to a word document and then save it?


***Edited out: chronology rough draft

<small>[ December 14, 2004, 12:04 PM: Message edited by: LovingBoundaries ]</small>

1995 - started living together in Quebec

1996 - mini was born in Quebec

1997 - QUEBEC/Ontario

1998 - ONTARIO

1999 - Dewt, PA QUEBEC

2000 - QUEBEC

2001 - QUEBEC

2002 - ONTARIO?

2003 - Living together in Ontario.

2004 - January 2nd, stopped living together. Dewt went to Quebec with mini, Dylan stayed in Ontario.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">AT THE TIME YOU MOVED OUT, DID YOU ("YOU" IS DEWT, NOT DYLAN) INTEND IT TO BE A SEPARATION OR A BREAKUP?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I honestly believed that Dylan would join us within the 2 week period we'd dicussed. So at that time, I hoped it would be a very brief separation.

2004 - Sometime in June-July-August, you and Dylan started living together again (with separate bedrooms) in Quebec.

2004 - December, living together in Quebec

Did you and Dylan live together the whole time from 1995 to January 2004? YES


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">After you fill in where you were living, I need you to fill in some more info. Fill in all the affairs -- 1) Month(s) and Year, 2) Was it PA, EA, EA turned PA, or PA turned EA?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">1995- close call EA / inappropriate friendship
1997- brief internet EA
1998- Close call with ex-wife.
1999- 3 month affair. PA. Absolutely no EA there.

"2002 - ONTARIO?"

Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! I don't know why the question mark strikes me as being hysterically funny, but let's clear up where you were living. In 2002, if you woke up in the middle of the night, discovered that the house was on fire, and called the Ontario fire department.....would it have been a local call or a long distance call? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


dewt, for the purpose of consistency (not admissions, definitions, clarifications, etc) in the chronology, fill in 2004 also -- 1) Month(s) and Year, 2) Was it PA, EA, EA turned PA, or PA turned EA? Also, there are some questions in caps.

Another question -- after your affair five years ago, did you and dylan remain married or did you consider yourselves divorced?


***Edited out: chronology rough draft

<small>[ December 14, 2004, 12:01 PM: Message edited by: LovingBoundaries ]</small>

I have Bible class and I gotta run...

will post back this evening, round 9-10 ish

dewt

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LovingBoundaries:
<strong>1995 - started living together in Quebec; close call EA / inappropriate friendship
WHAT MONTHS (OR HOW MANY MONTHS) DID THE INAPPROPRIATE FRIENDSHIP LAST?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Less than a month. I set her up with my best friend to protect myself. Weird logic... I know.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LovingBoundaries:
<strong>1997 - lived together in both Quebec and Ontario; brief internet EA
WHAT MONTHS (OR HOW MANY MONTHS) DID THE EA LAST?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">A week? Maybe two? Not long at all.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LovingBoundaries:
<strong>1998 - lived together in Ontario; Close call with ex-wife
CLOSE CALL EA OR PA OR BOTH? HOW LONG DID THE LEAD-UP LAST?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Never EA with ex-wife. We were in Quebec. The lead up lasted one phone call full of hinting, then when I was dropping off my son, she pulled me into her room and there 15 mins of lead-up, and stuff starting. It was very quick in starting but I had a rare moment of clarity and got the heck out.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LovingBoundaries:
<strong>dewt, for the purpose of consistency (not admissions, definitions, clarifications, etc) in the chronology, fill in 2004 also -- 1) Month(s) and Year, 2) Was it PA, EA, EA turned PA, or PA turned EA? Also, there are some questions in caps.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">-ONS in Feb.
-Dating for 1 month in March
-ONS with exW in April
-Dating for 2 months-ish August/Sept

There ya go. I tried to keep it simple and to the point. You have no idea how tough that is for me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

So now that you have my curiosity at full bear...

What's on your mind?

John


Another question -- after your affair five years ago, did you and dylan remain married or did you consider yourselves divorced? [/QB][/QUOTE]

You forgot to answer this one:
"Another question -- after your affair five years ago, did you and dylan remain married or did you consider yourselves divorced?"

dewt, I'm impressed! I'm starting to think that you really do want to make rebuilding with Dylan an attractive choice.


***Edited out: chronology rough draft

<small>[ December 14, 2004, 11:59 AM: Message edited by: LovingBoundaries ]</small>

In each dating period I only dated one person. (different person each time) They were both emotional and physical relationships.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">...after your affair five years ago, did you and dylan remain married or did you consider yourselves divorced?"</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Technically speaking, Dylan dumped me after my affair. We each took separate rooms but I think that lasted like a week or two. Anyway, it was very inconsistent and as an arrangement, it quietly and quickly fizzled. Since it was abandoned in our actions, without actually stating the fact, technically speaking, we never actually had 'the talk' that made us a couple again. Tecnically speaking.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">dewt, I'm impressed! I'm starting to think that you really do want to make rebuilding with Dylan an attractive choice.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Er... ah... that's great! I mean I really do... and I loved the way you stated that, cause it really describes what I want to do.

I'm curious though... what made you say that?

Anyway, it's nighty night time for me now... I will check again in the morn then in the evening, but as of Wednesday morn I'll be out of computer range till the weekend and even then I may not get much time with the pc. So if I go kinda quiet, it's not cause I don't like you anymore. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

dewt

You asked:
"I'm curious though... what made you say that?"

Well, for one thing, I know that this is not comfortable or easy for you to do....and you're doing it.

For another thing, the basic chronology is taking longer than either one of us expected, and patience is not your strong suit....and you're sticking with it.

And, the most surprising thing to me, you don't have a clue how (or if) this will help you in your process of making rebuilding with Dylan an attractive choice, and you like guaranteed outcomes before you do anything.....and you're doing it.

dewt, if you keep that attitude throughout your process, I'd guess that it will exponentially increase your odds of succeeding.

Back to the chronology:

There are two questions for the dating times. Again, the terminology is not for admission, judgment, etc -- it's just for consistency throughout the chronology.

One thing has become apparent to me; I don't think the "legal" aspect of common law marriage is going to help determine what your status was/is/will be at any given time. For one thing, Ontario recognizes common law marriage and Quebec's info calls it "de facto" and says that it does not recognize "de facto" as a legal marriage. So, in your case, I don't think the "official" ruling will help clarify anything either in the past, now, or in the future. (Btw, in the Quebec info, it STRONGLY suggested that if you are going to do the "de facto" thing that you write up a contract spelling out the terms of your marriage.)

Would it be accurate to say that when you and Dylan shared a bedroom you considered yourselves married and when you had separate bedrooms you didn't consider yourselves married? If that doesn't work, do you have any ideas about how we can determine when you've been "together" and when you haven't? Btw, don't ask Dylan--yet--because we have to start with your perception.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Chronology

1995 - started living together in Quebec; close call EA / inappropriate friendship for less than one month (then set her up with b/f)

1996 - lived together in Quebec; mini was born

1997 - lived together in both Quebec and Ontario; brief internet EA for 1-2 weeks

1998 - lived together in Ontario; Close call PA with ex-wife (one inappropriate phone call followed by ex-wife making her move and dewt responding for 15 minutes)

1999 - lived together in Quebec; Dewt, PA for 3 months

2000 - lived together in Quebec

2001 - lived together in Quebec

2002 - lived together in Ontario

2003 - lived together in Ontario

2004 - January 2nd, Dewt moved to Quebec for a two-week separation with mini, Dylan stayed in Ontario longer than two weeks.

2004 - February, PA (one night stand)

2004 - March, 4 weeks of dating
EA TURNED PA -OR- PA TURNED EA?

2004 - April, PA (one night stand with ex-wife)

2004 - Sometime in June-July-August, started living together again (with separate bedrooms) in Quebec.

2004 - August/September, dating
EA TURNED PA -OR- PA TURNED EA? HOW MANY WEEKS?

2004 - December, living together in Quebec
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

I'm not reading this thread

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

Dewt wanted me to post for him ..he is out of town for the next few days....will be back late sunday....

He did not want you to think he was ignoring you...

He will be back to post....

until then, have a great weekend...

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Dylan

You have a great weekend too Dylan! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thank you very much. I appreciate you saying all that. Thanks to you, Dylan as well. Even though you are not reading this.

I will keep this short as I only have a few minutes... Been away for three days, y'know. It was a weird trigger, as I was staying at the place I was staying when I first came here. It was weird at times. Anyway, I'm happy to be home. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LovingBoundaries:
<strong>dewt, if you keep that attitude throughout your process, I'd guess that it will exponentially increase your odds of succeeding.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well this is very encouraging. Succeeding in what though...? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> There are many things I'm trying to do right now. Winning Dylan back is more of a byproduct of my efforts in these trials. Geez... that sounded kinda cold... what I mean to say is when all is said and done... when all the chips are counted, I don't blame her for being unhappy. And I can't blame her for not being in love with me. What I DO have control of is whether or not I can fulfill the potential I have. I believe that if I could do so, I could offer Dylan someone very attractive indeed. Ultimately though, that is her choice and I have to acheive these success for my OWN SELF or they will never 'stick'.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LovingBoundaries:
<strong>Would it be accurate to say that when you and Dylan shared a bedroom you considered yourselves married and when you had separate bedrooms you didn't consider yourselves married?

If that doesn't work, do you have any ideas about how we can determine when you've been "together" and when you haven't? Btw, don't ask Dylan--yet--because we have to start with your perception.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My perception?

Technically, we were divorced the moment my Wife told me she was not willing to commit to salvaging our life and marriage. She asked for a 6 month to one year separation and I said "No." I could not stay because to do so would have literally killed me.

In my heart, even though I was divorced from Dylan, I was still her husband. And so still married.

It's a paradox. A common theme in my life. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

The legal definition of marriage, for me in particular, has very little do do with the actual state.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LovingBoundaries:
<strong>2004 - March, 4 weeks of dating
2004 - August/September, dating
EA TURNED PA -OR- PA TURNED EA?
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Not sure how to answer this... they were both the same. We met. We dated. Liked each other, started being physically intimate. So kind of both EA/PA at the same time.

If my tone comes off weird, please excuse me. I was kind of rushed when I wrote this and cut and pasted a lot.

I'm going to ask Dylan to check this thread. More to fill in the gaps and double check the dates.

Will check back Sunday or Monday.

Thanks for all this, btw.

John

I'm glad I was sitting down when I read this......

"Well this is very encouraging. Succeeding in what though...? There are many things I'm trying to do right now. Winning Dylan back is more of a byproduct of my efforts in these trials. Geez... that sounded kinda cold... what I mean to say is when all is said and done... when all the chips are counted, I don't blame her for being unhappy. And I can't blame her for not being in love with me. What I DO have control of is whether or not I can fulfill the potential I have. I believe that if I could do so, I could offer Dylan someone very attractive indeed. Ultimately though, that is her choice and I have to acheive these success for my OWN SELF or they will never 'stick'."

Hey dewt, I hope you're sitting down. If you're not, you probably should before reading further....

Sitting? Good. Do you know what you described? Guess. Go ahead, guess.

IT'S (F)BS101 DEWT!!!!!!!!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />