Also I accidetally found out what she got me for Christmas... A new laptop... Why would you go and buy such an extravagant gift for someone you wanted to divorce...
This is part of the fog which sets in and clouds their brains while in an affair.

Things such as "I never loved you" and "it's your fault I'm pregnant by the om" are statements used in fog talk.It's not something (necessarily) they say in the heat of the moment but sometimes they actually believe the incredible statements they make.

<small>[ December 14, 2004, 03:09 PM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>

Ok this has become very depressing.... Seem like since I posted my problems everyone but me thinks she is having an affair... I know that she has gotten real close to this guy but I so have a female friend that im pretty close to also....I tell her I love her and all that jazz also but I would never take it to another level... I have zero desire to do that...NONE!... She is just a good friend... When my wife comes home from her nights out all she does is put on the shirt she sleeps in and comes to bed... I would think that if she was sleeping with another man when she's out then she would shower or atleast clean up...She does'nt do any of this...... Is possible that this is exactly what she says it is... Just a god friend...I am completely sick to my stomach now

You could very well be right, just as anyone here, remember these are just opinions, but they are based on things as they usually are.

I hope and pray that you are right, unfortunatly, the odds are against you is all.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You could very well be right, just as anyone here, remember these are just opinions, but they are based on things as they usually are.

I hope and pray that you are right, unfortunatly, the odds are against you is all.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah when this all came to light I thought the same thing... But after several long nights I feel that she is being truthful with me...I really think that if she was having an affair I would know....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I really think that if she was having an affair I would know.... [/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think alot of people feel that way, I didnt have a clue for about 2 months into it, she was very convincing in the beginning.... again, I hope you are right, what does your "gut" say, not your head.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
Also I accidetally found out what she got me for Christmas... A new laptop... Why would you go and buy such an extravagant gift for someone you wanted to divorce... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Others have responded to this already, but I'll add my 2 cents.

Last Christmas my wife bought me more presents than in any 2 prior years combined... I thought it was a little strange... turns out she was firmly entrenched in her EA by then. In hindsight, I assume it was a guilt-driven Christmas.

I don't say that to add to your panic -- as I said, it was "just" an EA at the time. Unfortunately I didn't know anything until it went PA within ~8 weeks after Xmas.

My gut feeling is that she is not...Up until this point their was not a doubt in my my that she was not having an affair....But now reading what everyone in here is saying im starting to question that...

i was in your shoes 2 mos ago and for your your sake i hope your gut is right.
BUT get real nosey and prove it right or wrong..... shell screw up, they always do,


you play with a turd , you are gonna get sh1t on your hands....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Last Christmas my wife bought me more presents than in any 2 prior years combined... I thought it was a little strange... turns out she was firmly entrenched in her EA by then. In hindsight, I assume it was a guilt-driven Christmas.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I hope it is only an EA... I can deal with that... I know I have not been the most supportive husband and im bending over backwards to makeup for that... I think or main problem is that we had let all the small problems we had go and did'nt address them... Now they have grown out of control....

Well she called me again lstnight and asked me to meet her and the kids for dinner...Things went well no arguring just alittle bit of tention and uncomfortableness but that is getting better.... The last time I mentioned the OM she said that she does'nt talk to him much anymore... She said that she really does'nt like the person he has become.... All I wanted to do was say.. Your wrong he did'nt become this person he is this person... Before he was just trying very hard to meet your EM so it would increase his chances of having an IA with you... The OM is also married.....But I did'nt I kept it to myself... Hopefully his wife found about the relationship and is putting the pressure on him....My wife and I have 2 kid 1 that is ours and the other one is hers from a previous relationship but after we married I addopted her and love her as my own...The OM has a child also..... Its ashame that the kids have to see this play out right in front of them... It really makes me sad..My son is 4 and daughter is 12 she does'nt know the whole story she just knows something has happened and her Dad is not living at home right now <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Ok well I need some help.... We went to dinner lastnight and talked alot in the past few days...Things have been good no fighting at all... She has not called or anything today I know its only 11:30 and she is working but she usually calls me while she is driving to work... This has made me upset....Should I think nothing of it.... Its frustration

TexasHubby,

You have to forgive us for what might seem to be our 'one track mind' but remember that you are posting in one of the 5 Infidelity forums and when you tell us your story about your W behaving like a single person, huge red flags wave all over our faces. We hope that we are wrong in our suspicions about your W having an affair, but we also hope that you do not close your mind to the signs that MAY show that she might be having one.

BTW an EA is much harder to break than PA. Most men and women involved in a PA don't want to divorce and replace their BS with the OP. PA tend to be more in the nature of ONS or very short flings with very little or no emotional investment in them. But when a man or a woman is involved in an EA, he/she is very much emotionally invested in it and tends to question the wisdom of continuing with the marriage. EA also tend to develop into full blown affairs and when that happens, it becomes harder to break away from them.

If you haven't done so already, always keep in mind that just because you and your W are married to each other, it doesn't mean that you can or should control each other. If your W independent behavior [a love buster] is something she is unwilling to give up, then you must accept her decision [not condone it] and do some deep soul searching to see if you really want to continue being married to her.

If she tries to use the divorce card then call her bluff by not arguing with her and agreeing with her [without going overboard of course]. There is a great difference between expressing the desire for divorce and the actual implementation of it. In the meantime avoid LB [selfish demands, angry outbursts, disrespectful judgements, dishonesty, independent behavior, and annoying habits] as much as possible. It does you no good to try to fill her EN tank if it has a huge hole caused by LB.

TMCM