Well,

I spent the night watching movies with my kids and the ww.

We watched Elf and White Chicks <---- Funny, never laughed so hard in my life and it felt good.

Finally realized what i'm guilty of in my Marriage.

1) Not saying I love you enough

2) Not taking notice of your everyday efforts

3) Not telling you how much I appreciate you

4) Not talking to you when you needed me most

5) Not expressing my admiration of how well you ran the house and raised the children


This is just a small list of things i'm guilty of in my marriage and things I should have done everyday with my wife.


What I'm not guilty of,

1)is trying

2)is not loving you

3)is not noticing you, everyday

4)is having an Affair

5)is being there for you NOW


I only wish I could say these things to my wife...

I'm not sure if what I did was good or bad,

Well the wife and I watched movies with the kids tonight and after we put the kids to bed ww went and took a shower and when she came down I had the cd that we played at our wedding. I asked my wife to dance and she said yes.

We dance for about an hour and she cried as I sand the along to our wedding Song, she held onto me so tightly as we slowly danced around the living room with the christmas lights and the candles as are back drop. It was very nice. We then just sat on the couch and held each other and then I rubbed her back. She just turned in for the night, she gave me a real HUG and a real KISS...


I feel great....

Was just going to turn in myself and noticed your post...

Roller coaster goes up.

You're doing it like a champ, Michael. Sock yourself in the shoulder, and sleep soundly.

GC

Thank you,

I feel really good about today and tonight. I don't have high hopes but at least it is one day, and as they say take it one day at a time.

MS,

U R such a romantic. If she didn't love that...well....... I have a 2x4 you can borrow. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

All the best.

L.

Michael

Withdrawal is difficult. Don't be surprised if she wakes up today in her alien state. She may perceive hugging and kissing you last night, as "cheating" on OM, and have guilt and remorse about it. She may even come gunning for you, in an attempt to make you LoveBust, so she can DISQUALIFY any good feeling you kindled last night, and QUALIFY the feelings she harbors for the OM. Just be on your toes.

This is when Plan A gets dicey. You may notice that while in the throes of the affair, your W's eyes will not meet yours often, and when they do, there is no love or life in them whatsoever. Last night you may have seen her "awaken" somewhat, if even for a moment, and seen the love in her eyes that was once there every day.

Use this positive experience to stay positive and motivated, but know it will take many more of these "aha" moments before she's completely through withdrawal.

Great job on the romantic evening, and the Wedding Song was ideal, to remind her of the love that once was, and the committment that was conjoined with the love. Michael, I think you are beginning to "get" Plan A.

I'm thrilled the "bear" in you is waking. However, turn the disdain for the OM into positive energy. Do not "empower" the OM with your thoughts, otherwise, he'll have some control in your life. Don't let him into your head. He is not important, so pay him no heed. You may think he's a rotten soul, but don't let him sour yours.

You are making wonderful progress, Michael. Keep on task, believe in yourself, and rememeber, this will take more time and patience. Recovery sets it's own pace, and it's in no hurry. You've come this far, much of the painful journey is behind you now. You've crossed the mountains, but now you have miles of plains to traverse as well, so pace yourself!

Holiday Best Wishes,
SD

Well I read all of your replies and will answer some of the question's asked.


Still Seeking:

What did you personally get from that 3 hour conversation? Did it help you?

My ww informed me of a few thing's more like details of her A and meetings she had with Om. From what I have gathered she ran into Om in the beginning of May and exchanged number's after telling him she was in a very unhappy marriage. It was about a week later that she called him and then pretty much every other day after that, it was in the middle of June that she met him at his home and he made her lunch and he invited her to his bedroom where they cuddled and kissed. It was in the beggining of July when she met him at his job after work and she performed oral on him, it was in she then went to his home on five other occassions where she performed oral on him twice more and had sex with him twice. In total she has met with om at his job 3x's and been to his home 5x's and met him at her job 4x's for a total of 12 actual in person visits. the rest of the time was mostly on the phone. She admitted that the sexual part of her A was her filling the OM's need because he told her it had been awhile for him ( 2 1/2 yrs ) yeah my [censored]... She also told me that her family thinks her A ended months ago and that her MOM does think she should try to be with OM. WW also told me that it really is over between her and OM and that she was sorry for all the lies. That night she admitted to five lies she has told me and said there was more and that she would tell me in time, I told her ok, I did not get mad, Judgemental, or Disrespectful. I thanked her for her Honesty and we cuddled and went to sleep.


And yes it helped, A lot


StandingTogether:


I don't know what it is about you, Michael that drew me to your threads, but I felt an instant connection as soon as we talked. Maybe God led us to one another to help each other. In any case, I'm glad to have met you & I'm proud to call you my friend.


I'm also glad to have met you, And I feel honored to be able to call you friend as well. I feel like you were meant to be my guide, The one who will help me find GOD and PEACE and Happiness. And I thnak you for all your kindness.

As for AA tell your husband he will know when I'm on the same server, I will be the guy that kills him A lot... LOL LOL LOL... He should also look into Counter Strike ( Half - Life MOd )

I also lost my first Bible Study lesson, after closing yahoo I forgot to write down the versus you told me to read.


GreyCloud:


You're doing it like a champ, Michael. Sock yourself in the shoulder, and sleep soundly.


Thank you GreyCloud but can I sock OM instead and then sleep soundly? ROFLMAO...

Thank you for the other night, you made me realize I still do have some passion in me and that it really is possible to go on even when the storm is trying to overcome you. Thank you and I feel honored to call you friend, You ever need anything and I will be there for you. When a Green Beret gives his word, it is written and done. My prayers are with you and with Sparrow, I hope she finds her way home soon.


ORCHID:

U R such a romantic. If she didn't love that...well....... I have a 2x4 you can borrow. [Smile]

Thank you, She loved it and I think it surprised her in a good way, all because of people like you that have given me hope.


Your wisdom on my thread has always been welcome, and appreciated.


Shattered Dreams:


Withdrawal is difficult. Don't be surprised if she wakes up today in her alien state. She may perceive hugging and kissing you last night, as "cheating" on OM, and have guilt and remorse about it. She may even come gunning for you, in an attempt to make you LoveBust, so she can DISQUALIFY any good feeling you kindled last night, and QUALIFY the feelings she harbors for the OM. Just be on your toes.

Well surprisingly, She woke up in a great mood and did not come gunning for me but I made sure that I was prepared just in case. I really do think she feels good about being on day 27 of No Contact.


This is when Plan A gets dicey. You may notice that while in the throes of the affair, your W's eyes will not meet yours often, and when they do, there is no love or life in them whatsoever. Last night you may have seen her "awaken" somewhat, if even for a moment, and seen the love in her eyes that was once there every day.

I must say that during her Affair her eye's have never met mine but I can say that in the past couple weeks her eye's always stay locked on mine while she is talking to me. And last night while we danced, her eye's never left mine even when the tears started to fall. I wiped away one of her tears and told her that I will always be here to catch her tears. I hope to have many more of these awakenings to help her see who I am and what I stand for.


Use this positive experience to stay positive and motivated, but know it will take many more of these "aha" moments before she's completely through withdrawal.

I agree and will continue working on it.


Great job on the romantic evening, and the Wedding Song was ideal, to remind her of the love that once was, and the committment that was conjoined with the love. Michael, I think you are beginning to "get" Plan A.

I actually can say for once, that I am starting to get it.


I'm thrilled the "bear" in you is waking. However, turn the disdain for the OM into positive energy. Do not "empower" the OM with your thoughts, otherwise, he'll have some control in your life. Don't let him into your head. He is not important, so pay him no heed. You may think he's a rotten soul, but don't let him sour yours.

This will take lots of time, and hopefully I will never run into Om anywhere anytime soon. You have to Understand OM works less then 2 milkes from my home and lives less then 4 miles from my home and lives and works right between where I live and where my wife works. So it's hard for her and me.


You are making wonderful progress, Michael. Keep on task, believe in yourself, and rememeber, this will take more time and patience. Recovery sets it's own pace, and it's in no hurry. You've come this far, much of the painful journey is behind you now. You've crossed the mountains, but now you have miles of plains to traverse as well, so pace yourself!

It's not the journey that scares me, it's the slips and falls that scare me. I have day's where I just don't have the strength and then there are day's I feel like nothing can get in my way. I pray often for my wife and others, I ask that God help me be the husband and father my family needs and the provider they deserve.

Happy Holiday's to all of you. I feel honored to have friends like you and hope that all of your dreams come true. God Bless you all.

Update: Read above post and this post...


JUST BECAUSE:


Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize what a gold mine you are, doesn't mean you shine any less.

Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out that you can't be topped, doesn't stop you from being the best.

Just because no one has come along to share your life, doesn't mean that day isn't coming.

Just because no one has made this race worthwhile, doesn't give you permission to stop running.

Just because no one has realized how much of an awesome person you are, doesn't mean they can affect your femininity/masculinity.

Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level, doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.

Just because you deserve the very best there is, doesn't mean that life is always fair.

Just because God is still preparing your king/queen, doesn't mean that you're not already a Queen/King.

Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing right now, doesn't mean you need to change a thing.

Keep shining, Keep running, Keep hoping, Keep praying, Keep being exactly what you are already . . . COMPLETE!!

Michael,

Bible study chapters Genesis 1:1 - 2:4a. There, you can't lose it now! It's in the posts! LOL

I'm so happy things went well for you. No wonder I looked for you last night & didn't find you! You were busy! Great thing about the wedding song & the dancing. I bet this scored big in her LB$, even if she may not show it. You keep this up & the OM will be just a distant memory. Keep up the good work!

Have a great day!

Love in Christ,
Y

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As for AA tell your husband he will know when I'm on the same server, I will be the guy that kills him A lot... LOL LOL LOL... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't know, he's pretty good. If I hear him start cussing, I'll know he's playing you! LOL

Love in Christ,
Y

ETA: He's usually on the Pipeline map. He loves that one.

<small>[ December 19, 2004, 02:30 PM: Message edited by: StandingTogether ]</small>

LOL... My Favorite....And best map

That's what H says. I've watched him quite a few times and let me just say, Never me! I don't know how he keeps all those computer keys straight. I'd be all thumbs! LOL

I have been playing AA for about two yrs now...

And thanks for the encouragement. Last night was wonderful. Her eye's never left mine as I sang along to our wedding Song. Even when her tears started to fall.. She held onto me so tightly and it felt real.

Update

Well Today was a great day, I helped ww do some cleaning and laundry and then I cooked dinner and made sure the boys had there baths and showers.

I did some reading and hung out with the kids tonight just talking and listening to them.

WW took a nap and then took a shower and she hung out with me while I did some much needed reading.

No LB's Today and she stayed in a good mod all day. She was a little distant earlier today and so I asked her if everything was ok. And she told me everything was fine and that she was just not feeling good. I know she has been fighting a cold for the past couple day's. She thanked me for the help today and for cooking dinner again.

Well thats about it.

Michael,

Glad you had such a good weekend.... So did we, and I sleep like a baby!

IHAVEHER:

Thats awesome, WW came clean on more details over the weekend and it helped me put together more of the A and I think it helped her as well..

Still, all we can do it go 1 day at a time..

Update:

Well folks were on Day 27 of No Contact and going strong. Lets hope she has the strength to keep this going. We had a wonderful weekend with No LB"S or R talks Or A talks.

And when we did talk about Om it was her bringing up some of the lies she has told to me, and it helped.

So here is to me and a great weekend.

Lifting my cup to Michael's great weekend.

Stay the course!

There is not a more awesome sight than a WS coming out of the fog.

SD

I'm Taking it one day at a time. I have total Commitment on NC but nothing on M yet, See what happens in the next couple weeks..

Well ww is on day 28 of nc. We had a great weekend which was really nice.

But today I feel miserable and I can't stop thinking about her and Om and some of the things she told me over the weekend. It's eating at me and I can't stop it. Read, walk, prayed, nothing is helping...

Please someone help me...