Tom:

Actions speak, words don't.

Considering she's all over the map with you, I wouldn't take anything she says seriously.

Consider just putting the kids on the phone when she calls. Why talk 2 her? You're only giving yourself heartburn trying 2 figure out what the latest drivel "means."

By all means accelerate the DV, if that's what you want (or what she wants, even though that's what she just said).

But why not try plan B up until that day? Might put your mind more at ease, if you're not constantly being dragged through her muck at every 2rn.

-ol' 2long

tj..can you let the answering machine pick up when she calls?...i mean, why subject yourself to her crap willingly?

Someone earlier in this thread said that they think your wstbxw has psychological issues...I 100% agree, has she ever been diagnosed bi polar or some other condition? I think that if you even have an inkling of hope that you might want to 'rebuild' your marriage, the first thing you must do is insist she get help with her mental issues...I've read that MB techniques don't work on a marriage where there are addictions or conditions like BP involved...you need to do what your gut is telling you...hopefully it's saying...run like hell!... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

You take care and enjoy the time and the holiday with your kids, they really are what makes it all worthwhile...

2Long says:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Actions speak, words don't.

Considering she's all over the map with you, I wouldn't take anything she says seriously. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I've told her the same thing. So far she hasn't been able to do any of it though. Since I haven't done what she has demanded, she has moved into punishement mode. A behavior of hers that I am very familiar with. But what can she do to me? She's cheated, lied, stolen, and thrown me out of my own house, she chosen a stranger over our family.

DC,
I have always valued your words. And her behavior is too bizarre.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">you need to do what your gut is telling you...hopefully it's saying...run like hell!...
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sometimes I wish it was. But my gut is telling me that she is better than this and can be better. I just have to see it first, no more empty words. She is like a hot stove, I have to keep away from it or get burned.

She has damaged me enough that the thought of divorce doesn't affect me the way it used to. I got my feet back under me and am actually enjoying myself most of the time. The divorce will happen when it happens. I will try to protect myself from her zaniness.

I don't know if she can sit back and look at what she's made of her life? Or what she has done to the kids <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . All of this for Steve.

Tom:

"But my gut is telling me that she is better than this and can be better. I just have to see it first, no more empty words."

This is absolutely correct. And I must tell you that it warms my heart that you can still see that there's some redeeming qualities in her, deep down beneath all that anger.

"She has damaged me enough that the thought of divorce doesn't affect me the way it used to. I got my feet back under me and am actually enjoying myself most of the time. The divorce will happen when it happens. I will try to protect myself from her zaniness."

This shows that you've gotten yourself in2 an emotionally healthy state of your own. You'll be ready for whatever happens - reconciliation or DV. Your kids have needed this version of you.

Merry Christmas, Tom!

-ol' 2long