Shortly after FWH moved out OW told our 11 year old son (10 at the time) that she was sleeping with his father.

My son was devasted. That is too much information for an adult so you can imagine how he felt. He was very angry. He hated me because I did something wrong for daddy to find a new girlfriend. He was angry with his father because he knew that this kind of behavior went against everything he has been taught. He knows right from wrong and has been raised in the church.

We struggled through the summer and when I decided to let FWH move home our son fought me on it. It has been very HARD. I felt torn.

In the end it was a hard lesson for an 11 year old to learn. The lesson is everyone makes mistakes. We have to find it in our hearts to FORGIVE. I do beleive if I had decided to divorce my FWH my son would have never forgiven him.

They should know but not all the details!!

Jen & Liftedup,

Jen said...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> It is really, really good to hear you sounding so calm and together. You really had us worried a while ago - so much anger and bitterness and hurt.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yep that sums up my state of mind today vs summertime very well.

I still have my moments but they are fleeting bad thoughts instead of the longer mood changing ones.

I'd say 90% of the time I'm "thought free." It's the other 10% that is worrisome.

Liftedup,
It's ironic that my initial reaction to your post was one of complete contempt for the OW who told your son, yet that was the exact "thought" that I was having. I was venting about how my W's OM's kids should know since mine do.

Different motivation but same effect.

Thanks for your post. It's a frustration that I'll have to live with.

Mac

<small>[ December 28, 2004, 02:14 PM: Message edited by: cwmac ]</small>