No overt response. But for the remaining 9 or so months of Plan A, anytime I suggested that we could work things out, she just rolled her eyes and advised me to "get a life and quit acting so childish!" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Well, I DID get a life, but I refuse to grow up. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

WAT

she just e mailed me about if i want the kids tomorrow or friday, i answered 1 word. she replied back am i gonna be around saturday i answered why? she answered back that she wants to bring the kids out sat to play and get some of her stuff. i said thats fine.
very short sweet and to the point.
i wonder if she is starting to wonder yet.

wat
she sounds like a peach. sounds like she is the one who needs to grow up. 9 mos whew you got some patience, or you are a glutton for punishment. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

she just e-mailed is it ok to call you.

wat (pun intended) do i say

Your call, Man.

You're in Plan A.

I suggest you not tell her not to call you. Be available, yet not a slave. Kiss her hand, not her feet.

BTW, My rule of thumb was NEVER to turn down having my son - even if it meant freeing up my wife from a self inflicted conflict.

WAT

i e mailed her that she doesnt have to ask to call me im here for her if she needs me

she called
talked very pleasant about my sons b-day friday. i think this is the way ill handle it ill let her initiate contact. she asked if i wanted her to bake a cake i said just jokingly that i would, i baked her a layer cake for her b-day in may and adjusted the recipe and it was GOOD AND UGLY, she said that would be great and i laughed and said that i wanted my son to like me. she said hey that was the best tasting cake she had ever had i said it wasnt a cake it was a pile...
she just went on and on....

this is the 1st good memory she has had of me.

i try to bring something up that was fun b4 and she would get defensive.

maybe a little fog lifting? or no

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by dalson:
<strong> she just e-mailed is it ok to call you.

wat (pun intended) do i say </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Dalson,

This is a good time to set some rules. She is asking and you can say that she can call WHEN she can speak to you as your W. However, if she is in one of her WS moods (let her know what WS means) and she needs to communicate, then the e-mail w/b more tolerable....at this time.

Let her know you have boundaries. By this you will let her know that verbal communication is the more desired form of contact but reserved for someone who can be nice and possibly loving to you. Otherwise, the informal e-mail keeps the pain at a farther distance. Let her know this also. It will help her see the difference in character between the WS and W personalities.

It will also remove you from that triangle a bit and still be in plan A.

Hope this helps. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L.

thanks that makes since she just called again to tell me 1 of my friends had a baby, again was very nice

weird!!!

update
i have not instigated contact but she has called 1 time and e-mailed me.
what is she up to?
what do i do?
should i try to be loving or just to the point.

Remember if she is acting a your W, treat her thusly..... this means she s/b able to take the good and the hurt. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

If she is the WS, go NC.

If you can't tell which she is, ask.

Or if in doubt, just don't respond. Sit back and watch.

L.

i had both kids last night and all day, at 4 i dropped them off with her it was the 1st time i had been to her apt. it is tiny but nice.
we had kind of an r talk last night we were talking and she said how she has noticed how much i have changed. i informed her how i have alot more that needs done. and just asked her point blank . where are we in our relationship?
she said i dont know, i said well when you decide im not going anywhere.she said she needs some time to figure out what she wants. BABBLE BLAH!
anyway the b-day party went good. my kids had a ball.