Hi All,
I really wish I wouldn't have dumped that post the other day. I wanted to answer some things in FR's post.
But first,
Orchid
Thank you for your support, but I think I mislead you with my short frustated post. I wasn't frustrated and angry with my WS (anymore than normal ;-) I was F & A at the "post failure" and the fact that my cell phone came off it's clip in the driveway and I accidentally ran over it with the Motorcycle, destroying it. I just bought it a few months ago and it wasn't cheap. It was just a trying day, kids, work, the normal stuff we all deal with, just with some extra stuff. Not to mention I have been in pain to one extent or another since a hospital visit in early December. Makes it easier to get frustrated. As for the WS, she said she was coming to spend some time with the boys and just stayed a few minutes and said she had to go get some sleep (She works nights). I am getting pretty good at using my Sister's 2 word advice which has been VERY helpful. "Expectation management." Don't expect sh-- and you wont be surprised when you get it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Sometimes I just forget. It just gets to me when I see the kids dissapointment. It's hard for them to practice "expectation management". Thanks Orchid!! Thanks for your time and support.
MADDYK
Thanks for the tips. I can handle that, Itried to do that and my computer locked up. I have a new powerful machine that I have not swapped in yet.
FR
Thank you so much for all your time and support. My "lost post" was primarily to you. I will try to hit on most of the things I did in that post.
First, I tried to get your original post. I could only (only?) get the last 300. I was just somehow interested in your first post and how and why you first came here and your state of mind and such.
As for the journal, I have been keeping one from near the onset of this mess that is currently my life. I use it to vent as well as record. Good advice.
On the whole Tae Kwon Do issue. We started this whole thing when my S was a lot younger at a city run facility similar to the YMCA as a summer thing for him when he was out of school and just continued through the year because it was SO obvious to everyone he was a natural. I don't want to sound like a typical Dad, but he really is good. It's awesome to watch. I am really proud of him. It's a city rec center (I had know idea it would become a family "wreck" center). It is associated with the large school in our part of the state that does all the testing and where OM is also a student. I have thousands of dollars wrapped up in that black belt and now it has all been so terribly tarnished and damaged. It makes me furious. If he goes elsewhere, he will have to start over. He knows his forms and all better than most, but you have to stay in each belt for a set period of time regardless. As far as the others I have told the ones closest of the A, and they were shocked and I'm not sure that one or two of them even believe me. There is a lot to this part, but others have been "hit on" by him. I talked to his wife shortly after discovery and she had A LOT (of course) to say. He isn't what he seems she said. I have found out alot about him on my own, but she had a lot to say of him and his "soccor Mom's" She said my W wasn't the first. She said he had clamidia (sp?). I found recent public records about a paternity suit and DNA testing against him. Since all this began, we had a TKD demo (My W even attended) that he brought what can only be described as a Crack whore. I don't know that she was either of those things, that is just jow she looked. As he walked past us holding her hand I couldn't help but take very much enjoyment from watching my W. She tried to act as if nothing happened, but I could tell she was a little.........something. Not long after that he was missing classes and my S would have to give them (He does that whenever he isn't there, which was often there for awhile and gets paid) One of the other parents said he was spending a lot of time with his Hispanic GF. I made it a point to tell my W. Then, not long after that he was making arrangements to go on vacation to the Phillipines. One of the Parents was a native of the Phillipines, so he was talking to her a lot. One night they were talking right next to me and she was telling what he had to do to get her over here with him. She asked how he met her, and he said "on the Internet." He said it like he wasn't an idiot. Anyway, you kinda get the picture. But all these years
I have even had the most respect for him. He was so respectful, "Yes sir, No sir" "Thank you Sir" And so damn good with the kids, patient yet stern. Really good. He doesn't treat his own small children that well though.
As his wife pointed out many times in our conversation, he puts on a good front. I parked next to his beat up little Geo Metro one night and it was a mess. Clothes and crap all over. All his pay stubs, dozens of them floating about. One could clearly read his SSN, hourly pay, address, all the stuff on a pay stub (Which I already knew) He's an unorganized slob.
Before I sign off I want to include the E mail that I think brought the A to an end. On one call I recorded I heard my wife say something like he is becoming way too paranoid.
I confronted him a number of times about the number of calls to him from my phone. As many as 30 in a day. He admitted she was calling. He said he didn't take most of them and that she just wanted to talk. He said he should have stopped it right in the beginning ect. She said the same thing, that they were just friends. In fact, when I first suspected, she said "Him?! EEWWWWW" Like gross. He said after my second confrontation with him that he would have to hurt her feelings and just tell her to stop. It was his city phone ect. Then I found more calls and wrote this the night I found them. You have to understand, he had me believing him. He is very convincing. So I was still trying not to make a paranoid fool of myself.
__________________________________________________
*******,
I need you to be up front with me. I have had a lot of respect for you, but at this point I am ready to pull the plug on this whole damn thing.
Obviously, there is more going on than I was aware. I thought, after our last conversation that we had this all figured out. Silly me. I
looked at Crystal's phone this evening. Her phone has your number all over the "received", the "dialed" and "missed" calls. 12:45 am and 1:30 am, pretty hard to justify. Just be honest with me please. I CAN DEAL WITH IT. I am just getting really sick of the bull**** and deception.
Someone is going to get hurt. Someone better stand up and let me know what the **** is going on in the next 24 hours or I will be in contact with folks that I think need to know. This is ripping my children's lives apart.
Awaiting your response,
CJ
__________________________________________________
His response:
__________________________________________________
Chris,
Sorry this has taken so long, I have been on vacation this week and was unable to read my city e mail, I came in only because of your message
(I sent a E to his phone and said "I think you should check your E mail", thinking he might own a computer <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> )
I am unhappy, to say the least that I seem to be getting involved in someone else's family problems.
I will not allow myself to be dragged into this.
I will defend myself only this once and after that you may feel free to call who you want. I have informed all those who need to know about this sordid mess, including the supervisor at ****** Rec and especially my wife.
The only "charge" I can really respond to would be the calls.
I will allow you to talk to my wife just once to clarify, not out of a lack of respect to you, I just will not involve myself in this matter
much more. I understand you are going thru some hard times and if I can ease your mind I will try. But again I must make clear that I do not
want to be dragged into this.
My wife made the calls you are inquiring about. I had explained to her our conversation and upon seeing your wife's # on my cell she wanted to
call her back and have a women to women talk. Your wife has not called my cell much lately, the only message she has left was concerning
whether or not Mathew made it to TKD or not. My wife and I were heading home from a party when she seen a message on my phone, she then scrolled
and seen all the other calls that go back a ways, that was enough for her, I know she tried to call and was unsuccessful. I believe she is strongly committed to speaking with ******* and to make clear our unity on this matter.
As I said, to ease your concerns I will bring my wife to class next week and you can speak to her in private and you will see that everything has
been above board. After that I will completely distance myself from this matter.
Let me know what you would like to do.
Sincerely,
******* **********
Recreation Supervisor
Phone:
Suncom line -
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WOW! I think I really babbled on here more than I did on the "Lost post". For that I really apologize. I know you all have a lot better things to do, but if nothing else, it helps, I think, to get it off my chest. Tonight was TKD night, we didn't go.
You said "Lastly; I see that "Orchid" has taken an interest in your story. You may not realize it yet; but you're being blessed by this and I can only say that you should pay attention to her every word. Orchid has a tremendous personal story and is highly respected here. Her advice is golden!"
I didn't realize the blessing at first, but from her words I realized she was someone to pay attention to. I appreciate her and respect her as well. Thanks Orchid!
And thanks again FR and the rest of you as well.
"Out here",
CJ
