I am so beyond ******. Please guys, talk me down. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

My DD called me for the 4th time. WH is not back from his "dinner" ANd now I find out that the OW had the ****** guts to pick him up at my friends house. DD is sitting there all dressed up and he doesn't have his cell with him and hasn't called.

I am 5 hours away. I called MIL to call DD to wish her a Happy New year. ANything to take the focus off her ****** used-to-be-Dad. I can't help her. I honestly thought that since he SAID he owuld be there with her tonight. THat he would follow through.

I have half a mind to catch the first ferry tomorrow and smack him around. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Help. PLEASE!

<small>[ January 01, 2005, 10:06 AM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

Oh shoot, F-AA, I don't know what to say. AW and I are both FWW but we never, ever, ever let things get to this stage.

She's 12 YEARS OLD for Pete's sake. That man has his head so far up his rear end it isn't funny.

Can you go to her? What about the friend, L, who's meant to be looking after her? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Jen

Okay...

I realize this is my revenge side talking, but I think if I were you I actually WOULD get on that ferry and go get her tomorrow!!

In reality, I don't know if there's anything you can do. Your DD is now witnessing first hand, for herself, just how horrible her own father is treating her--and although I know it hurts her (and you) horribly, it is better for her to find this out on her own than for you to tell her and her to "defend" her dad.

I would probably, in real life, discuss with her appropriate ways for her to express her REASONABLE and justifiable, deep anger at her father. How can she use her voice? Empower her that it is okay for her to feel like she does. Give her a safe place to express her feelings. That's about all you can do!!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

What is WRONG with these men??????


CJ

They are out for the evening. I found out that WH was supposed to be with them. Instead, OW picked WH up at MY FRIENDS house. In front of DD. Well snuck out.

And my baby girl is sitting there dressed up waiting for her Daddy and he is with OW. I can't stand the pain. HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO HER?

Because he's a ****ing foggy jerk. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

F-AA, I just don't know what to say. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Jen

<small>[ January 01, 2005, 10:07 AM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

F-again -

I can believe it. My WH's OW completely abandoned her 12 year old daughter - left her with her husband and moved in with mine. Not only that, she only sees her about an hour every couple of weeks.

Obviously he is so deep in the fog that he has lost his mind. It will be better not to confront your husband right now. Your daughter is safe, but disappointed of course.

Hey....FAA....I don't know what to say other than been there.....sorta. Kids are the silent victims in all of this.

Do what you can from where you are.

Helping angry women calm down has never been my strong suit. Actually neither is cheering them up. Or living with them. Or being married to them. I could go on ad nausea.

I will go over tomorrow. AND I am packing his **** and delivering it ot OW. Let's see how they like living together.

***** THis.

<small>[ January 01, 2005, 10:08 AM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

FAA

this is so wrong I can't bleive it. To leave your 12 yr old alone to go out is ARgggg I don't want to saying antyhing to make it worse.

He does not deserve her thats all. I know I would cut off a limb before doing something like that. I was never ever even close to that way of thinking.

Is she actually alone or is someone there to look after her???

She is with an 11 year old and a 16yr old boy. THis is NOT her house. THis is a temporary arrangement until I get there in 2 weeks.

My heart is breaking. He has done the unforgivable. NOW I will NOT be saving my marriage. NOW I will be making his life so miserable that he will wish he has never been born.

NO ONE *******s with my kids. NO ONE!

He thinks it was bad before.

<small>[ January 01, 2005, 10:09 AM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

FAA, I think I'd like to hear you tommorrow after you've slept on it. What do you think your daughter's wish is when the dust settles? Mom trying to make dad miserable or mom showing dad how miserable he's making things?

Less may be more in the end. All actions should be measured against their contribution to your goals whether they are to preserve a marriage or protect your daughter.

Come here to rant....I like your rants. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Well ensure her safety and then decide the rest FAA.
He deserves your anger and the anger of any resonable parent, even those in the fog.
However look at the whole situation AFTER yur DD is safe & ok.

I wont dare say I could never have done this. ok my kids are adults and almost adults but still, I find it hard to think I would have put ANYONE incl Aussie before them in 99% of situations.

Anyone, me you, anyone, in the fog or not who acts like this is a jerk!

NOw how is your daughter? Is she upset crying or just resigned?? Does she want to come home to Mom or stay there...that may be an important issue to discuss with her - of course subject to her safety

F-again - Are you going to put bleach on his clothes when you throw them in OW's front yard, or just cut them up? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

When will your friend be back? I would be a little worried about a 12 year old girl with a 16 year old boy.

Good ideas all.
You know, that stench Orchid was talking about.

I have talked to DD. She is resigned to his actions. She doesn't want to leave. That's okay,as she is registered to start school there on Tuesday. I have told her I would be there tomorrow morning. We will go for breakfast. I don't even know if he will come home tonight. Even better as I will personally deliver his clothes to him.

I am very calm. Now he has made an enemy out of me.

I am not decided as to whether I will alow DD to stay at my firends house. It depends on whether WH showed up at the function with OW in tow. If so, they are enablers and she is out of there. NOW!

<small>[ January 01, 2005, 07:10 AM: Message edited by: fightingalone-again ]</small>

well let us know when you get there and how your DD is.
Praying all is ok and that you will be ok too FAA in this mess.

I am packing now. I have garbage bags for the garbage that WH has. He is out of there. I will speak to my soon-to-be-former friends just to make sure that they are not enablers. But my gut tells me they are.

I am emailing my other friends to see if DD can stay with them. Otherwise she will be here. I will not allow her in an environemnt whereby WH is enabled by their silence.

I am very calm. Just resigned. I will not allow my principles and morals to be strayed by those who think it is okay to sit by quietly and watch WH destroy our family.

<small>[ January 01, 2005, 07:07 AM: Message edited by: fightingalone-again ]</small>

FAA,

You gotta calm down and probably edit out your posts a bit. We know what you mean but a foggy WS who gets ahold of your posts here could make you out t/b not well.....you know. So my dear, edit out your posts and let's consider somethings.

1. Knowing this, do you still have to move there in 2 weeks? Can't you bring your daughter back to where you are at? Is it better where you are now?

2. If you have to move there, could you at least bring you daughter back with you and let the school know that extenuating circumstances have prevailed and your daughter w/b transferred over in 2 weeks?

3. Make sure you get all the facts before you jump down anyone's throat. It is more for your protection than theirs. ok?

Hugz to you and your daughter. I really feel for the both of you. Let her know we think she is a trooper and no, not all dads are like the one she experienced. In fact her real dad (not the WS but your real H), would probably never even think such a thing, so her real dad w/b furious with this shell of a WS, eh? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Let her know her real dad is probably trying to come out but this beast and his co-beast (OW) keep pushing him down. One day, he will come out. Until then you and her can be each other's supporters. We will help also. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

take care,
L.

Orchid. Thanks for the advice I have edited my posts.

1. Knowing this, do you still have to move there in 2 weeks? Can't you bring your daughter back to where you are at? Is it better where you are now? -Yes, I must move. I am in the IT field and the chances of a better paying job are 5 times as great.

2. If you have to move there, could you at least bring you daughter back with you and let the school know that extenuating circumstances have prevailed and your daughter w/b transferred over in 2 weeks? I am already considering alternatives. I have emailed SIL and good friends about having DD for the next 12 days.

3. Make sure you get all the facts before you jump down anyone's throat. It is more for your protection than theirs. ok? I plan on doing that. First. The best is if WH & OW did not go to a function with my friends. I f they did, DD will have to leave. EIther way, he is out of there.

I am calm. I have had an hours sleep. I am gone now. Pray for me,

FAA I'm really thinking of you and your DD.

So irresponsible thing to do and no matter what face DD has put on it I bet she is hurt.

Look after her and yourself and THINK about your moves...perhaps have a chat to a lawyer to cover all the bases.

Let us know how its gone and how you are coping FAA

FA-A,

So sorry DD's dad let her down. I know for a mom there is nothing more heartbreaking than our kids being hurt. The thought of her being stood up by her dad really gets me. Even my FWH tired hard to keep his word to our DD. He came by every day to see her and only a couple times didn't do as he promised. Hang in there and don't let your anger stop your plan.