</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by worthatry:
<strong> Hi Stef - then contact her and apologize for your involvement in this mess. Then we may be able to agree with the second statement. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hi Wortharty,
I have many times thought of doing just that. But I think its up to Freddy to tell her the truth, and not hear that from a third person. Especially if their marriage should have a chance at all. And I've encouraged Freddy to do just that. I can certainly send her an apology after that. Although I do believe that for the best results, I just should be out of their lives permenantly. And leave things as is.

And I want to add that everyone is entitled to their opinion. I don't think I need to prove to anyone that I am not some inferior person. I am like everyone else who makes mistakes, but I will learn from them. I'm not getting away scotch-free here either. I hurt too. But I am doing what's right. Even if it did take me this long.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by stefanieOW:
<strong> But I think its up to Freddy to tell her the truth, and not hear that from a third person. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">100% agree with Freddy coming clean with her.

But he can't apologize for you and since you won't be communicating with him, you won't know if he tells her so you can apologize afterwards.

Just do it and get it over with. Give her the opportunity of considering conceiving a child with her cheating husband. So far, she's had none.

The added benefit for you will be wiping the slate clean and moving forward knowing you have no unfinished business that you can contribute to, and the chore of doing it may help you prevent it from happening again.

WAT

*bashes you with a 2x4* i will tell you this no matter how much you think you could be ready for a child...you never are...and bringing a child into your mess now...will only add stress....I will tell you the sleepless nights and crying baby will only add to your situation and it is proven after having a child....the interest in ones mate does go down.....not to mention what if you find it's not working...I would seriously beat you if you had a child in hopes of it making your marriage work and then leaving them....my own WH has done that...and I find it dispicable....DO NOT even think of doing it to a child....

Steph I will tell you this as my own affair started online...end all contact now block him if nessecary (sp?) the distance and no contact will hurt him...but over time he will move on I know it's tough...but I did it and haven't spoken to OM since and it's been over 6 months and I am pretty indifferant to him now....i could really not care if I talk to him again....his pain will subside with time....I suggest you get away from the internet...take your sweetie out and to some activities away from the computer.....

stef, I applaud you for what you're trying to do.

I suggest you make an amend with freddy's W with an official apology to her, after he comes clean with her, then be finished. It will cause you to be cleansed, and it will help her to feel a little more secure, if she chooses to stay in her marriage, knowing that the effort to halt contact between you and freddy is a mutual one.

GC