Yes I don't think I've been in Plan A long enough although I have really surprised him by becoming more considerate, attentive, affectionate, etc. He really struggled (guilt) that time with me being so affectionate and the fact that he was still seeing the OW. He didn't understand why I just didn't leave.

I also just found out that the OW was the one who lent/gave my WH the money that he deposited into our account (I guess to use to get an apartment).

My WH decided he needed his own apartment right before Christmas. He's in it and also, unless he can prove it otherwise, still seeing OW. When he moved out, I was ready to ramp into Plan B. But it hasn't worked out that way.

For one thing, I haven't spent enough time in Plan A. I was really sick with a respiratory thing for December. (Still coughing badly) The holidays made it hard to focus on the Plan A stuff. Also, it just wasn't right. We're doing MC. We are doing a few things together. I try not to LB. Although anything to do with OW, does. We really can't do much more until she's gone.

It's better now that he's out of the house. I don't feel so stressed. I can be more loving and focused without him around. Strange but true.

Follow you feelings. I think we know when it's so unbearable that we have to slip into Plan B.

WAT:

I'm not a good person to answer that question about when to go into PLAN B.

I went into PLAN B kicking and screaming. Although PLAN B was necessary and important, I don't think I ever truly got it right. I was a failure at it if you recall.

I've wanted to stress to others the importance of PLAN A because my FWH continues to talk about how good that time was and how it convinced him that I still loved him while the OW was trying to convince him that I did not. She wanted me to stop working on my marriage in order to make it easier for her. I just wouldn't go away!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I've wanted to stress to others the importance of PLAN A because my FWH continues to talk about how good that time was and how it convinced him that I still loved him while the OW was trying to convince him that I did not. She wanted me to stop working on my marriage in order to make it easier for her. I just wouldn't go away!! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">mimi, you know that really gives me a lot of motivation to continue Plan A. I did have that conversation with him many times during the three week Plan A and I finally called him back today and let him know I was serious about working on the marriage, I respected his decision and that my changes are permanent and all part of becoming a better person. I've been trying not to make demands of my WH and it seems that the OW (from her lending him money to move out) has been probably making demands on him to leave me.

I think all of that has made an impact - how much I don't know. At the end of the conversation he said that was a really good attitude to have (becoming a better person, etc).

<small>[ January 07, 2005, 12:10 PM: Message edited by: hurtwifefromindy ]</small>

MARVELOUS, MINDY!!!

You've got it! The OW will begin to LB because she does not understand the MB Principles.

You have a PLAN. Stick with it.

I've found that MY PLAN is great for ME even now. One major good thing that has come out of all this awfulness is that I feel better about myself.

She wants you to give up on your marriage.

STAND TALL!!

Hurtwife - He was gone for 6 months, but we talked a lot during this time. I always made sure we didn't go more then a day or two without contact, he usually called, e-mailed or stopped by every day. If he didn't I would find a casual excuse to contact him. That way I knew he had to think about me at least a little bit.