</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As far as a conversation with my wife...absolutely out of the question. I might as well kiss my marriage goodbye if I did that.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If you are SO positive this would be the outcome, I'm extremely curious as to what your motivation to begin with would be ?!?
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Don't you feel as a PERSON...you're wife is entitled to make her OWN decision ?

I'm having Full Metal Jacket visions...can't get them out of my head.

Good Grief.

What has become of GQ lately ?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Here's my point, why does everyone make such a big deal about STD's </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Because in marriage..you shouldn't be contracting one ?

TA, it's a big deal because if some of these diseases are not caught, they can be life threatening. Many people never learn of their spouse's affair. They can also be life threatening to unborn children if the OB doc is not aware of the disease's presence.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by betrayedinjersey:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Here's my point, why does everyone make such a big deal about STD's </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Because in marriage..you shouldn't be contracting one ? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOL, kinds funny that had to be asked and answered. Well, I don't know about funny. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by lemonman:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by betrayedinjersey:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Here's my point, why does everyone make such a big deal about STD's </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Because in marriage..you shouldn't be contracting one ? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOL, kinds funny that had to be asked and answered. Well, I don't know about funny. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As an aside this reminds me of this patient I had in my clinic when I was a resident. I was seeing this guy who was a drug user and street guy. I don't think he was homeless. I was seeing him for post op care on an appendectomy. ANyways, he mentions to me that he has this milky penile dishcarge and what did I think it was. Well, I looked at it and I was like "yep you got gonorrhea...why don't we treat you for that and chlamydia also while we are at it".

The guy goes, "Thanks doc, but could you put a refill on those antiobiotics, I really like this girl I am seeing, if you know what I mean".

The moral of the story....to some people, STD's are no big deal. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

mindsunk,

I have a couple of questions, if you don't mind.

Your answers will greatly influence any further posts from me.

1 How do you feel about marriage, just in general?

2 How do you feel about your marriage, in general?

3 How do you feel about massage parlors..again, in general?

4 How do you think that your wife would feel about you visiting one [assuming that you hadn't yet..or that she doesn't know..so it's how she feels in theory]?

5 How much do your wifes feelings affect your choices?

6 By what tool do you measure ethical/unethical behavior?

Noodle

Ms, welcome to MB...Catch the name? (OK...my only 2X4...A lot of lumber flying...Can I ask a question? What did you expect coming to a marriage building site?)

Not much to add...but, just like going to a massage parlor--OK, that just doesn't sound right. But, just like going to a hooker you made a CONSCIOUS decision to go elsewhere for sex.

In her eyes, this is a business decision. If you can't see this, you are more in the fog than any WS I have ever read about. You are being played. And for what? To get off behind your wife's back while she was away on business?

Stop for a moment, MS. Take in the facts. (I'm not going to rehash them.)

Do you want your mariage? This is the bottom line question--for two people and two people only: to you, first, and to your wife. If the answer is yes, you MUST tell your wife.

I sincerely hope we didn't run you out of town. HOWEVER, you need to understand about this site and really, you need to know what you want to do. Then we'll decide if we should run you out of town. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I'm not going to response to your words--it's already been done. But, you also need to reread these words you wrote and "maybe" rethink them:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As far as STDs...protection was always used, so I'm not worried.

As far as a conversation with my wife...absolutely out of the question. I might as well kiss my marriage goodbye if I did that.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Even though I have my doubts this thread is genuine,(no one could be this stupid) I kinda feel compelled to respond. You think you would be "saving" this piece of trash? She is just looking for a sugardaddy, at least she came right out and said it, gotta give her credit for that, do you really want to play the fool for her? Call your wife and tell her the truth, she deserves to know.

Remember, the sex is supposed to be good with a hooker...she's a professional!

Yeah I have my doubts as to the validity of this thread as well.

And as far as STD's being "no big deal", I don't know, my rule of thumb has always been to avoid getting ANY disease....maybe that's just me.

-Caren

I think this thread may be bogus. The member # is off (he #39996, the latest #is 39907) Pehaps he hacked in just to play with our heads. If he IS real, he is in the deepest denial I've ever seen!

You know his stance on STD IS belivable. My ex is a doctor--a DOCTOR--and had the same cavelier attitude: "we used protection, so it's ok". She then got clymedia (sp). Thank God it was after we stopped SF.

Yeah coz, duh, a smatter of Korean here and an itsy bit of Englisho there ain't gonna build any kind of relationship. And prostitutes get old and tired too!

Man, this board is filled with people whose lives are totally screwed up because they were "blinded" by something and made the decision to break their marital vows. I'm struggling today and my children suffer today because my wife made a decision like this.

She said she's "high maintenance', "loved money" get a clue man, if she's this outfront now, what will she be like later on when things are much more familiar?

Do the right thing for you and for your W.

Out!

No one mentioned another form of HPV in the std discussion...can you spell cervical and penile cancer, boys and girls???
This form of the virus may cause no symptoms for years, then "suddenly" an abnormal pap shows up for the ladies which can be cervical cancer; and for the men, the first sign of trouble may be a sore that doesn't heal on the penis and will be diagnosed as squamous cell carcinoma caused by longterm hpv infection of the cells(rare but really happens).
This infection is transmitted by skin to skin contact, including the area AROUND the genitals that are not covered by a condom. No body fluid need be exchanged for transmission of the infection to occur.
Yes, prostitues have huge numbers of sex partners, thus increasing their chances of transmitting stds. But here is a scary thought--anyone who has sex with someone outside of marriage could be having sex with someone who had sex with a prostitute at some time in their recent past, so no one is safe from stds who is sexually active with a non-monogomous partner.
Strip clubs and massage parlors are being legitimized as a form of "boys will be boys" entertainment.
Wake up men, these "exotic dancers" and "strippers" ARE PROSTITUTES shaking their wares. They are death chambers, for marriages and individuals. When a buddy says they are going to a bachelor party at a strip club, ask them why they would lower themselves to such a level, instead of winking your eye and smiling.

Speaking of STD's......My WH's OW is a physician's asst. and I asked him if they used protection and he said "No...there was no need...she's a PA." Oh, Ok...so she's safe from everything! Such bull!!!!!!
They'll find anyway they can to justify it!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by realitychkd chick:
<strong> No one mentioned another form of HPV in the std discussion...can you spell cervical and penile cancer, boys and girls???
This form of the virus may cause no symptoms for years, then "suddenly" an abnormal pap shows up for the ladies which can be cervical cancer; and for the men, the first sign of trouble may be a sore that doesn't heal on the penis and will be diagnosed as squamous cell carcinoma caused by longterm hpv infection of the cells(rare but really happens).
This infection is transmitted by skin to skin contact, including the area AROUND the genitals that are not covered by a condom. No body fluid need be exchanged for transmission of the infection to occur.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I've never heard of this. Can you refer some links to information?

For those who think this is bogus...well, I don't know what to tell you. It's not.

I found this site through google as I was searching for psychological advice and articles on infidelity to see what I can do to help myself.

noodle...here are the answers to your questions:

1.) I think it's little more than a religious permission slip to have "sex". I did it because my whole family is religious and so is hers. I also perceive it as something that must be done when you're in a long-term relationship in order to meld into social norms.

2.) I love my wife. I'd love her the same whether or not we're married.

3.) I never really had an opinion of them before. But now, it's kind of like a day-spa for men, with a bonus.

4.) She'd leave me in a second. Period.

5.) Depends on what it is, but in general, they affect every choice I make.

6.) I'm not sure I understand the question. I have my own values of what is/isn't ethical or moral. Somehow I rationalized inside my mind that having sex with a prostitute is not cheating. I viewed it along the same lines as masturbating to pornography. However, I 'think' I'm developing feelings for this girl, and that makes me feel really guilty. That's what I consider cheating. It's the mental part. That's why I want to do something about it.

Ok....I think you need to read what you just wrote....
"A day spa with a bonus"????? A bonus of lies and betrayel and not to mention STD's...... Are you for real??? Hey, that's a real bonus!
YUK>>>>>GAG>>>>>>I don't even know what to say!

Mindsink,

You sound like a moral relativist.

You said both your families are 'religious'? Do you have any 'religious' beliefs yourself?