|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 519
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 519 |
I have tried plan A for about four months now, yet my first attempts were full of LB;s.
I am now on week five of a good Plan A. No LBing, trying hard to fill her EN's.
Problem is in October I did move out. I have only been back since Xmass, I still have a place and she wants me to spend more nights at my place.
She still wants to see me, just not spend the nights together all the time.
Not sure what her plan is. Her big EN is romance, and I have worked hard on that one. She also wants to feel alive, go out and do more, problem is, with two homes, she stoped work for two months, I am so behind on everything I am unable to afford to do much.
A catch 22 I think.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,407
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,407 |
Start selling some assets, you'll have to in a divorce anyways.
Any Life ins cash value you can tap into?
What about IRA, 401(k) loans?
Put in on your credit card and pay monthly, whatever it takes.
I would still call Steve H one time before you do anything.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 406
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 406 |
Somebody posted a long time ago that if you feel like a doormat that means you're doing a good Plan A. You can always regain your dignity later.
I found that taking a break, the mini-Plan B worked for me. You just gotta get get away from it sometimes.
Using D as stick to try and beat sense into them is not a good idea. They want you to file so that they don't have to. Not good advice IMHO.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 519
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 519 |
Nothing realy to sell at this point. Don't want to think about the big D!
Credit cards maxed, money is tight..Trying to carry two homes has been hard since WW stoped working.
Just want it to end, and not in a D.
I hate being a doormat.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 406
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 406 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I still have a place and she wants me to spend more nights at my place.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Did you sign a lease? Can you get out of it?
You need to be in your own house. If she's not comfortable there than she can go hide out somewhere; in the house or leave or whatever. It's not your problem that she wants you out of her way. Don't accomodate her; don't solve HER problem.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,407
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,407 |
Don't file for D, I thought you were in a good Plan A for one year. You can't afford to pay Lawyers fees so you can't file even if you wanted to. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> Let her borrow the damn money and let her file. Are you having sex with her?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 406
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 406 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I would still call Steve H one time before you do anything. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is good advice. I believe that Steve would tell you that you have an excellent chance of saving your marriage and here is what you need to do...
And also how to minimize your pain.
What worked for me when it was unbearable, (I'm a Christian), I asked God to hold me in his arms and soothe my pain.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 519
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 519 |
TA, we have been having sex as on her EN survay I was off the scale for her.
No I wont file for D, if it comes to that then she can file.
Legato, yes I do have a lease on my place, it was a six month one, so I still have three months left.
If I could afford to I would call SH, at this point I have a hard time putting food in two homes.
I belive that this can be saved, I want to save it with all my heart. I do love my W, just not my WW.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 406
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 406 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> so I still have three months left.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Which is more expensive; Breaking the lease or paying for the 3 months or is it the same?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,407
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,407 |
Sell something, borrow from family, whatever it takes. SH can give you better advice than anyone here. I always FAX him my updates the day before I talk to him, this way we don't have to make small talk and get right into solutions. Call SH one time, then thank me later. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 519
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 519 |
I don't know the penalty for breaking my lease. I will look into this though.
I will call SH on monday and see what he has to say. I am lloking for the light at the end of the day.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 406
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 406 |
Alan,
I need to go take care of some things. I'll check back with you tomorrow or Mon. You're doing fine. You'll be a veteran rollercoaster man soon. Whee!
By the way, do you know Bear04? I was posting with him last night and he went MIA so I'm kind of worried about him. You might check on him if you see him post. I started a topic to check on him.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 519
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 519 |
I know Bear04, he has posted to me before and I like his help.
I will check in on him.
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
337
guests, and
101
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,038
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
