DBL post

<small>[ January 10, 2005, 10:47 AM: Message edited by: TreeReich ]</small>

Dealan-de

LOL! I love Texas! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Heck, he's got an ego the size of the whole USA! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Dealan-de

LOL! I love Texas! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Heck, he's got an ego the size of the whole USA! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

He seems to think that our son won't be affected by any of this. I truly don't know how he can think that. What is wrong with this man?

He clings to this thought desperately...for it is the whole basis that makes his actions OK...

He seeks those in his life that will only validate and tell him it is OK...IE other woman..

'children adapt
children are resilient....(no offense resilient <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> )
children adjust
and the cake topper..
children really only want their parents to be happy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

he knows it is all a lie...for he aggressively seeks to convince you and others differently..

his persistance speaks volumes of the battle inside...

he is becoming a babbling fool...yet he is good at what he says..and knows how to push buttons..for even I who don't know him...and loathe powerstruggling resist advice telling you how to debate and rebuttable.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
even though we all KNOW it is futile...and juvenile....

but sometime in those moments right before sleep comes....and sometimes in the mornings right before a full state of wakeness occurs...his defenses are down...

and he knows what he is doing is wrong....

so he gets up more resolved to prove the people he is hurting that it is not HE...

he shuts out the light by re-adjusting his glasses...and sits at the computer and sends you glimpses in to the battle that he wages with himself...and is of his own creation....

he is pityful...
for soon all of those in his world will grow weary of his repeatitive defense...

and as shakespeare one penned...

"I do believe thou protests too much"

ARK

Word Ark!!! That's what I think too, that's why I think he's fixin' to come unglued! He's battling with what he's done, trying to rationalize it, trying to "fix" it so that Tree can be "happy" with his decision.

I would put money on the fact that he feels guilty as hell.

My WH doesn't really fog talk me much. But then again, he refuses to admit that the OW is more than a friend.....I have to work on exposing what's going on, or I'm never gonna get anywhere.

-Caren

Ark....
I think you are RIGHT on target!!!!!! I often think about how he fels when he goes to sleep at night and when he first wakes up. He told me once that he usually has a very hard time dealing with all of this first thing in the morning. I hate to say it but I hope he feels guilty for the rest of his life for the pain that he has caused.

I know when I go to bed at night and wake up every morning that I am a GOOD person and I can hold my head up high and not be ashamed of anything I've done. He can't do that!!!!

He was raised a very strict Catholic...I do believe at the core...he knows what he's done is a sin and he says he's now agnostic because he's afraid to believe in God right now. He knows God disaproves of his actions! Just my opinion!!!

Ark....
I think you are RIGHT on target!!!!!! I often think about how he fels when he goes to sleep at night and when he first wakes up. He told me once that he usually has a very hard time dealing with all of this first thing in the morning. I hate to say it but I hope he feels guilty for the rest of his life for the pain that he has caused.

I know when I go to bed at night and wake up every morning that I am a GOOD person and I can hold my head up high and not be ashamed of anything I've done. He can't do that!!!!

He was raised a very strict Catholic...I do believe at the core...he knows what he's done is a sin and he says he's now agnostic because he's afraid to believe in God right now. He knows God disaproves of his actions! Just my opinion!!!

TR,

Responding to a mad dog isn't going to work. Actions....your actions are what he will notice. Don't try to reason with a WS in such a distraught state. Ark is right (again)..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> and we love her for it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

When my Ws babbled so, I got tired of even reverse babble. So I held up the mirror to his face and told him to babble to it instead of us. I always used the word 'us' instead of me. Our son and I are a package deal and I kept that in the forefront.

Also I told him that whenever he had a happy moment with the OP, that he recall our sad faces in the background. Can you imagine what that did to their sex life? LOL!!! He cried when he went to Yosemite with her on their supposed 1st vacation together. I didn't even know about that until he returned. Yet the OW tried to downplay that part of their trip. From what I heard most of that trip was a downer.....there were just too many memories of us in those trees and hidden deep in the water falls and rocks. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> See as hard as they try......they w/b their own undoing. The BS at this point still doesn't have to do much. It is hard for us to realize it. In reality other than securing our finances and protecting ourselves and our children....there isn't much a BS needs to do. A good plan A followed by a solid plan B, keep plan B in your back pocket and use as needed. Simple? Somewhat. Yet it takes many of us months or even years to get to that point.

take care,
L.