UGGGGHHHHHHH! I just got back from a wonderful weekend with my family and I swear if my WH hasn't already pi$$ed me off.
He brought my dog home and started in...he wants to hire a mediator and get all of this over with. I told him that my lawyer will take care of that. I was being civil. He then says that if I'm going to go ahead with all the crap that was in my counter petition then he was going to hire an attorney and I was going to be sorry. He went on to say that I'm not a good mom and that I will be shocked because if I can't provide a stable financial enviroment that he would take our son away from me. I am just so upset right now. I was trying to be nice and he just started attacking me. I've done nothing wrong and yet I get treated like crap from him and his family.
Uggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh....I just feel so overwhelmed right now. I also came home to a ton of bills. I just want to run away right now.

TR,

That is why you need to stay in plan B. See how he is able in just a few sentences undo your outlook?

I'll bet you are crying because you are hurt, angry and frustarted. Angry and him for being a diphead and you for allowing him to do so.

Ok, if that's close...... then you need to high tail it to your lawyer.....make sure all future encounters are via a 3rd party....... record all convos for proof. Maybe it can't be used in court but your rendition of it can be.

Document what he has said in your journal. He is threatening you and you need to acknowledge that.

As for the bills, you have to work that out. Set priorities on them.

{{{hugz}}}},
L.

I've heard all the same crap TR.

Your doing the right thing, try to insulate your self as best you can. It is hard with kids. They act like they are talking about the kids and then they zing you.

TR you did right telling what you did. If he wants some mediation or whatever, then he should have his attny call yours and come to an arrangement.

My STBX attny calls my attny all the time. As you know, my STBX faked a reconcilliation attempt. One condition I had was for her to call her attny and tell her she wanted to reconcile and have her attny contact my attny with the request. It never happened. She said she can't make her attny do anything. LMAO.

TR hang in there ... We can commisurrate. (sp)

<small>[ January 18, 2005, 05:39 AM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

Hey TR:

Glad you had a fun trip to see family. It's always good to see those we love.

As to KWH (knucklehead wayward husband!) let him continue mouthing off. He knows not what he's saying. It's Florida for Gods sake! You will be fine - I promise! It's important to maintain calmness around him, no matter how much it hurts. Maintaining dignity is good for your case and your soul. And remember that your DS is always watching, and you are his rock! Keep that in mind. My DD made a revelation to me over the weekend about her mom's sitch which reinforces what I'm saying. DS is relying on you for his love, morals, values, decision-making and so on. Which means that you get to lean on that responsibility to love him and teach by example; dignity, honor and character. It's a tough deal that most of us do not deserve - but it will make us stronger.

And for you & WH because he was an athlete with a God-given talent - I thought you might enjoy this: Good character is more to be praised than outstanding talent. Most talents are, to some extent, a gift. Good character, by contrast, is not given to us. We have to build it piece by piece-by thought, choice, courage and determination.

FR <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Orchid...you are right...I am hurt, angry and frustrated! I try to be as pleasant as I can if I have to deal with him but he just seems to always throw something in there that will hurt me. I try not to talk to him but sometimes I have to regarding my son. I refuse to put my son in the middle and make him ask his dad all sorts of questions. This is so damn frustrating to me!!!!! I feel like screaming!!!!!!!!!
I will call my lawyer in the morning.

TJ...
God, how do we deal with these irrational people??? I just can't believe WH is trying to say I'm not a good mom. How dare him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He also went back to his same old crap about him not leaving "us". He left me not our son...REALLY?????? Ya think my son thinks that??? Ugghhhh!!! I just wish I could move near my family. This is just so unfair that I'm stuck here with no family in a place I hate!!!! I'm really down tonight. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

TJ...keep me posted on when you will be in my area! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

FR....Yes...I am the one that will teach my son morals, values and to be a good man. I try so hard not to let him see me upset. He is such a sensitive child.
<<<He just came in and gave me a big hug>>>> My little sweetie!!!!

"Good character is more to be praised than outstanding talent. Most talents are, to some extent, a gift. Good character, by contrast, is not given to us. We have to build it piece by piece-by thought, choice, courage and determination." SO TRUE!!!!!! Thank you for that!

Tree, Tree, Tree.....when dealing with a child in a temper tantrum what happens? They kick, scream, cry, moan, the parent(s) try to reason, the child gets worse, the parent gets a bit annoyed, the behavior continues and what happens...the parent explodes and usually either spanks the child, drags the child from the store, etc., etc. You are dealing with a child Tree...no matter how old, how tall, yada yada yada.

That is why you retained and are paying for an attorney. First off, find someone else to watch your pup...you shouldn't have any contact whatsoever. Is there a neighbor who could be there when he brings the dog or something by. I used to do that and each and every time I was here, a huge argument erupted, I felt like a piece of discarded luggage, and I cursed myself over and over for not keeping with my Plan B.

You are paying an attorney, let him/her do their job. No confrontation, no talk, no nice, NADA, nothing, nil, etc., etc.

Your husband, like mine and hundreds of other wandering men and women on this site, are just out there...living in a world that would put Mr. Rogers "Land of Make Believe" look like reality....good luck Tree; my heart breaks for you and your son because I've been there and struggled and at times still do with the betrayal. But you will make it through this...have faith that you can and you definitely will.

If you would like to e-mail me to hear Wiggles and my story, I'd be glad to share at karena_darling@yahoo.com.....

Tree

Really darl' you gotta stay dark like Orchid says. WH moron is messing with your head and threatening you without any realistic chance of backing that up.

Maybe its not 'plan B' for you so much as 'tree protection'. Keep him out of your head.

He is such a slimeball Tree.... but you know you are better than this.

{{{{{tree}}}}}}

Write him a message, quoting his words, stating that is not good way for 'soon-to-be co-parents, but highlight 'blackmailing' and insults...

It doesn't matter what he thinks about you writing him, nor if he answers and what or not at all - this message keep and can use in the court if needed... (it doesn't show he acts in the best interest of your child)...

<small>[ January 17, 2005, 09:58 PM: Message edited by: Belonging to Nowhere ]</small>

TREE..
How are you sis?
Not so good huh?
Me neither!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

but remember.....

This too shall pass..
and you will still be standing!!!

Stop letting this jerk rob or your peace of mind and positive outlook. He's not worth your tears, not a single one, not ANYMORE!

Keep Posting...

Your Friend,
FM

Tree, I don't have anything to say, just want to send you a big bear hug. {{{{{{TREE}}}}}} CV

Hey TR:

Having a Better Day Today???
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
FR

Hey everybody,
Thanks for all the encouraging words!!!
I am doing better today. I went to take my son to school this morning and my steering wheel was locked and I couldn't start my car. My son went in the house and called his dad to see if he could come pick him up for school. I think he called him like 5 times...left messages. Well, never heard a word from him. My son was upset. I called the school and my SIL offered to come pick him up. She was being very nice to me...all fake! I just got home from running errands and still no message or anything from WH about my son calling this morning. That really shows me that he just doesn't care. Maybe he dropped off the face of the planet. LOL!!!!!

I have a lot to do today so hopefully it will keep my mind off of things.

double post

<small>[ January 18, 2005, 10:31 AM: Message edited by: TreeReich ]</small>

Don't forget to document both of these things, sweetheart. (I know you won't)

(((TR)))

I just want to take my shoe off and beat the heck out of him.

- Kimmy

D-D me too. I SO want to TWAT stupid WHs when they behave as OUTRAGEOUSLY s Tree's WH does virtually every day. Just to beat some sense into him.

I mean stay together or split up but don't frick with your kids and people who care(d) for you right ?

Foul play. Penalty score.

Good Morning, TR -

The attack on your parental skills is part of the script that all WS's must follow.

When our boys were very young, there was 2 times (and only 2 times) that I asked WW to read to the boys when we put them to bed. Every other night for many, many years I laid in bed and read to them every night, then prayed with them, them read them a Bible story.

Would you believe that not long ago WW brought up those 2 nights that I asked her to do it because I was just too tired from work? I was amazed. That must have been 15 years ago.

Point is...it's not you, it's him.

Keep up the good work, Plan B is where it's at.

Georgia

DD,
Yeah, I would love to knock the crap out of him. I think it would make me feel so much better. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Bob,
I would let you be second in line to knock him out! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> He deserves to be miserable!

Georgia Guy...Wow....I know what you mean. My WH is doing the same thing. It's unbelievable! They re-write history to suit them. My WH seems to remeber things totally differently than me. Hmmm..
He says that being a good parent means being able to financially support them....he has no clue. There is so much more to being a good parent and if that's how he feels then I guess he isn't a good parent then because he isn't providing for his son...I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so over all of this!!!

Tree, can I get in line to beat the crap out of your H? There's nothing better than beating the daylights out of an actively, fogged out WS. Count me in with Bob. CV

Trish you said the most profound and factual phrase I have seen in months on this board:

He deserves to be miserable

Oh man, theres a whol book to be writen on that and you sum it up in 5 words.

WH dug a hole, filled it with Sh*t he convinced himself was chocolate and wants everybody to agree its chocolate too.

He ABSOLUTLY deserves to be miserable, his every action makes him miserable.

Squid was just the same, when her sorry @ss was dragging out her footprints behind her. She deserved the misery she built then BUT she snapped out of it.

I rarely feel sorry for the pain that WS inflict upon themselves, its their active choice. I was told by Meldoy lane and Pep way back when that "don;t try too hard to cheer her up, all she has to do is stop carrying her @ss in her hands and she can enjoy the family joy you are providing"


I'll remember that phrase Trish, Its a good 'un.

He deserves to be miserable

Amen little sister !