I once stole a pair of shoes from K-mart. I was with my mother, we walked through the store, I swung this pair of shoes around my fingers the entire time. We bought nothing, went to the car, started driving and I realized I was still holding the shoes. I never went back in to pay for them.

Now, I would never steal a thing.

Am I a forever to be known as a Former
Thief???? I do not see myself as such.

From the years of 18 - 20, I smoked an illegal substance, and often.

Now, I would never smoke anything.

Am I forever to be known as a Pothead? I do not see myself as such.

I once had a 5 month EA & PA. I have changed my life drastically. I have learned almost everything about the dynamics of A's. I have learned about communication, about love, about commitment, about sexual fulfillment, about emotional needs, about radical honesty, about character flaws (conflict avoidance, people pleasing, low self esteem, lack of worth) I have made self improvements. I have A proofed my M.

Now, I would never have an Affair.

Am I forever to be known as a Former Wayward Wife??? I NO LONGER see myself as such.

All of these things are apart of my past, I WILL NOT be defined by them.

I committed adultery, God has forgiven me, my wonderful husband has forgiven me, even OM's wife has forgiven me, and I have forgiven myself.

I AM a woman of God.
I AM a wonderful Wife
I AM a fantastic Mother.

That is how I now see me.

Society wants us to carry around our sins, we seek pleasure in others failures it seems. I will no longer carry my sin, I am shedding it.

Some might always see me as a FWW, but......

What they think of me, is none of my business, what I think of me, gives me my worth.

I AM NO LONGER A "FORMER WAYWARD WIFE"

I am a Woman of God, I am a Wife, I am a Mother!
KY

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Society wants us to carry around our sins, we seek pleasure in others failures it seems. I will no longer carry my sin, I am shedding it.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">KY - I'm not sure what brought this on, but I think this came for me at a perfect time. What you said above is SO true, and it is absolute complet HELL to live under our sins, even when those sins are no more. I live in fear that something I do will forever be seen through that filter known as "FWW". I do not want to live like that. It makes me feel pretty hopeless sometimes to believe that I will ever be truly free again.

Well, ya made me cry. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
I really appreciated this post. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

NOW

Amen Jelly... so is my wonderful wife.

Semper Fi,
RIF

Jelly

this is something I have had nightmares over for some time.
Oneday when /if I am forgiven and can forgive myself, will I forever be the Scarlet woman with a big 'A' for Adulteress plastered all over me?

I think your attitude is the healthiest I have seen for some time and brings so much hope to myself if no one else.

You sound so determined and so together, I have no doubt you have it right.
You are a darn good wife, mother and a true woman of God. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

You really deserve a big hug so [[[[[[Jelly]]]]]]
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I'm gonna get there Jelly I swear I will, it might take a while but I'm going to do it even if it takes the rest of my life. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

KY, FWW is only the indicator of your perspective and experience when helping people on THIS board.

In life you are a fine friend, mother, wife.

If this was a 'shoplifters forum' you and I would both be 'former shoplifters' ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Doesn't mean we're forever branded with the mark of Cain ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I asked ( naively) months ago on here " when does Squid lose the WW moniker?"

2long said " when you choose to peel the sticker off her forehead !".

Kris, choose to peel it off now, but know that whenever your good heart compels you to help folks on here, you will be referring to yourself as a FWW.

Maybe its time to stop contributing here for your own well being ?

All blessings KY

{{{KY}}}

Jelly,

Same here...ditto what AW said. I want that more than anything right now...is it really possible?

NOW

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Maybe its time to stop contributing here for your own well being ?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Bob, this is how I have been feeling lately....I don't want to "ignore" the facts, but I also do not want them staring me in the face, constantly judging me. I guess maybe I need help getting to the place Jelly is....I want to be able to come here and help and not leave feeling worse than when I came. I don't know how to do that right now, and it's killing me.

NOW

Jelly,

Good for you! You've carried that baggage and now it's time to dump it. Aussie's wife, I urge you to give yourself permission to do the same.

Jelly, thank you for making me understand a little more of what my husband is no doubt feeling: a life sentence of regret and remorse. I am going to try to get him to understand that I have truly forgiven him and he must forgive himself for his, my, our marriage's and our family's sakes. Time to lighten our loads and free ourselves.

Nat

Jelly, NOW, AW - This post touched me so much that I've changed my signature line... Thanks for the reminder... I should have done it a long time ago...

Semper Fi,
RIF

RIF,

That is the sweetest thing I've ever seen. I am pretty sure RH feels the same as you, I just need to do that for myself...it's so very hard.

Thank you for forgiving your wife. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

NOW

RIF

sniffing a bit now you big lug you.

you make sure you tell your loving wife that you hear!!

[[[[[RIF]]]]] <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

AW & NOW - I try to show her that I've forgiven her every day....it's hard to do right now as we're apart, but I make it a point to try and build her up each and every day, even if it's just by sending her a sappy e-mail.

I'll be honest... it took me a while to get to this point, but I got there... As you continue to show your H's that you are committed to them and the M, I'm sure that they too, will get to the same point...

Semper Fi,
RIF

RIF, that is exactly what I am talking about, EXACTLY. {{{{{{{RIF))))))))

NOW - you have mail, to long to post. Thank you for your words, and you will for sure get here, the view - breathe taking.

AW, determined, yeah, I guess I am. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> What a great word, and used to describe me, never been able to do that before.

Bob Pure, I don't recall directing this to MB. I was talking about in life, my life. There is also the indicator FWW, as a title alone, and then there is the opinion of the indicator. The "opinion of" is what I am shedding.

You can call me a FWW on this board, and in life, but your opinion of a FWW, no longer has any power over me. You have watched me bath myself clean of the opinions of a FWW, on board and in life, did you like the show?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Nat - </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I am going to try to get him to understand that I have truly forgiven him </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Please do, my H has completely forgiven me, he holds nothing over me, he respects me for the person I am. I feel so loved by this man, a beautiful love, that I will cherish forever.
Forgiveness is such a blessing, for the giver and the receiver.

Thank you all for your post.
KY

KY In my clusmy way thats what I was trying to say. You are only an FWW on here, because you want to be to help others, not in your life.

I I obviously turned my head away while you had a bath. I am a married man after all , dear ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

{{{ky}}}

And that was lovely of RIF. I am happy that such a man protects the free world.
Strong enough to be gentle.

What a man. I aspire to be like that.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by kyellow4:
<strong>
Forgiveness is such a blessing, for the giver and the receiver.
KY </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Amen... no arguments from this side of the fence! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I would love nothing more than for all this to be over, I don't really even like to write WH, although that is what he is......when he's back in my arms again, he won't be a FWH, he'll be my husband, and I'll be so happy.

-Caren

KY,

From the first days I started reading and posting here, I have thought of you as my cyber little sister. You are and will always remain one of my favorite people, on this board or otherwise.

You have a warmth... a goodness which shines through, even in cyber space.

You have been a gift to me. A special person that I met accidentally and will always be grateful for.

You will never be a wayward anything to me. You are a very nice, funny, sincere and honest person.
You went through a personal crisis and found YOURSELF at the end of that short and dark path. You basically found your way back home, to ST, to yourself and to your God. Sometimes we have to stumble and get lost, in order to learn to walk the path that we were meant to walk.

You did not destroy your family or forsake your children. You did not leave a trail of destruction and pain behind you, never to look back. This is what differentiates you from the infidels that I am unable to understand or come to any terms at all with. No that is not you.

I am glad you are declaring who you are. Right on Jelly girl!

Kris, I have nothing but admiration for you. You are honest, you try every day to live a good life. You help everyone on this board. You are a happy soul. Your sense of humour rocks <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I don't know how many times you have "saved" me.

I have not labelled you or attempted to attach a stigma to your past actions. Remorse is the only thing that anyone can ask. ANd you have shown remorse. So, your bath/atonement whatever you want to call it was successful.

NOt just for you but for me and other people on this board, too. IMVHO, the BS for the most part love you and don't even think of you as a WW for more that a millisecond once they get to know you. So, that teaches us that we can forgive our own WS as well. It gives hope in a dire sitch. YOu give with your huge heart, you contribute to the well-being of so many people on this board. I am not even talking about what you do in your personal life!

THe rest is garbage. Let that bath carry it away forever.

P.S. I want to say this opinion extends to AW and Kiwi as well. And NOW is also working in that direction. {{{{hugs to all}}}}

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
What they think of me, is none of my business, what I think of me, gives me my worth.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As you might have guessed .... this is my favorite part <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> .... of a wonderful message.

Pep


I am having trouble here, because Gypsy, the cat, is tring to type this for me.... argugggg....

<small>[ January 22, 2005, 09:50 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

Society wants us to carry around our sins, we seek pleasure in others failures it seems. I will no longer carry my sin, I am shedding it. Awesome post Jelly. I and God have forgiven me, I will continue working toward the day the my H forgives me too. Love you, Jel. You are an amazing woman.