David,

hmmmmm, communication is one of the ENs we both need work on. Only thing that comes to mind is humor. When WH makes me laugh, I feel more at ease. Don't know how it would apply in this sitch though.

I'll think about it more and post again.

-Christine

She like jokes David? Know any?? LMAO

Ummm okay here's one:

An older lady goes to the doctor, and says:

"Doctor, I don't know what to do, I'm at my wits end, my husband isn't interested in sex anymore at ALL"

The Doctor says "What have you tried to entice him?"

She says "I've tried everything, candles, lingerie....everything"

The doctor said "What about oral sex?"

She turns red and says "Oh no doctor, I wouldn't have any idea how to even do that"

He said "Okay, this is what you do, you go home and practice on a ketchup bottle, until you feel confident, and then try it, okay?"

She agrees, and goes home and practice with the ketchup bottle for a few weeks. One day she's feeling particularly competent and she says "Honey, let's go have oral sex"

Well her husband can't get to the bedroom fast enough, shucking his clothes off all the way there.

The wife goes in and (Now for this part, act like you're holding a ketchup bottle upside down...you know when they were glass you'd have to bang on the bottom for it to come out?....well that's what she does with his....ummm, you know...LOL!!!

Okay Joke 2:

Trial of the 3 tents.

This guy is arrested in Saudi Arabia for drunk driving. He is taken to jail, and then brought before a judge. The judge says "Sir, do you realize that the punishment for drunk driving in Saudi Arabia is death?" He said "No, I didn't" The judge says "Since you are a foreigner, I will give you a choice, death....or the trial of the 3 tents....which one do you choose?"

Well the guy doesn't even have to think about this...He says "I don't know what the trial of the 3 tents is, but it has to be better than death"

So they take this guy out into the desert where 3 tents are set up. The judge accompanies him, and says "This is the trial of the 3 tents.....in the 1st tent is a bottle of Jack Daniels, you have to drink it all in 5 minutes"

The guy says "Heck, no problem, I'm an alcoholic, I can do that"

The judge continues "In the 2nd tent there is a saber toothed tiger with an abcessed tooth, you have to pull it"

He says "Wow, that does sound challenging, but after all that Jack Daniels, I can probably do that"

The judge then says "In the last tent is the biggest, ugliest woman in all of Saudi Arabia, and you have satisfy her every sexual need"

The guy says, "Well, after the tiger, I guess I can do just about anything..."

So they throw him in the 1st tent, and they here "glug, glug, glug, glug" and then him setting the bottle down on the table.

Then they take him out of that tent and throw him in the 2nd tent.....they hear all this screaming and scratching and growling"

The guy staggers out of the 2nd tent and says "Okay.....now where's the b*tch with the abcessed tooth?"

LMAO
-Caren

Thought of one more:

A psychiatrist walks into his office to find his patient jumping up and down on his desk shouting "I'm a tee pee! I'm a wigwam! I'm a tee pee! I'm a wigwam!"

The psychiatrist says, "Okay....calm down, you're two tents" (too tense)

LMAO I'm so lame

-Caren

LMAO - thanks - I needed that...

I have a better one:

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.

He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little jerk. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.

Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron.

"He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that cue ball he measures everything first!"

^