My kids were not there when this happened. I am so glad because I don't want my kids to think it is okay for a man to even act like he is going to hit you. I don't want my son do think it is okay to intimidate a woman with physical harm.

I don't want to tell my dad because he will go OFF in the worst way and there is no need at this point.

The more I think about it the more it makes sense that because he is not truly head of household. He can only be stronger than me physically. Financially, emotionally, and intellectually I am stronger where he is questionable.

Don't laugh but I am taller than him but he is very strong.

I don't know Bart didn't know he was like that. Thanks for the heads up!

Mika, you being the actual head of the household as you put it may be part of the problem...statistics support the male unemployment factor as being higher in the incidence of DV towards women. Here are some links to help you understand more about DV, no actually I'll give you just this one, Sanctuary for the abused because it contains some very good links. (on the far right of the screen) The more you know, the better able you will be able to cope with whatever happens. You NEED resourses and a support system.

I think it's a wise idea to take the kids and go to your Mom's, spend your time getting to really understand what you are dealing with. You can get through this but we want you to be safe first and foremost. Marriage Builders isn't JUST about marriages but about personal empowerment and recovery also. You're not alone in this! KB

Thank You all for just reading and responding. This has helped me a great deal and I am going to call and read more info so that I can deal with this properly and not react hastily. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Mika, I was glad to see Knewbetter jump on your thread. Listen to her, I can tell you from personal experience she knows her stuff particularly in the area of abuse.

Best of luck to you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by bart520:
<strong> Years ago I my wife and I were out with another couple. The husband spent the whole time trying to trip her, punch her in the arm etc. What happened to treating a lady like a lady and not some tomboy play friend. He sounds like an emotionally stunted individual that has homosexual tendencies. He is fighting them by behaving roughly with you. He is sexually frustrated. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Are you for real??

That is some reach there...he's rough in the horseplay...he must have homosexual tendencies. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Can you say OMG?

I guess it takes all kinds. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Mika,

Stop doing what you are doing. When you start this horseplay...he goes with it...he gets rough. It's obvious he has no sense of limits.

My H would start playing rough with our son...our son would participate...then my H would want to stop cause it started getting rough...and guess what...my son wasn't quite ready to quit. It took me FOREVER to teach my H that he can't be getting him started only to try and stop him when it got too rough for him to handle.

I told him... Get A Clue... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> DON'T DO IT TO BEGIN WITH.

Now, if he starts with you...tell him that you don't care to play around like that because you are always getting hurt because he gets too rough.
See what he says when you do that.

JMHO
committed

Mika,

My w used to do that kind of thing to me - pretend she was just playing. She was biting me on the arm or shoulder - would start with just a nibble, then ramp up almost to the point of drawing blood - that kind of thing. I think there was some kind of rage in her and she didn't know how to deal with it. Also, I think it had to do with feeling ignored. Children do this kind of thing to get attention. In any case, it was her problem and not mine.

She rarely attacks me physically any more.

Your H is resposible for his own actions. It's H's problem, not yours. While you are not responsible for his actions, you are resposible for your own. You need to totally cut off any kind of horseplay. Don't give him a chance to claim that it was all in fun. At the first touch of it, tell him to stop - and don't recipricate.

-AD