My w and om both thought they would leave their respective marriages and neither me nor om's spouse would notice. I would like to hear too what w has to say about me to her firends.

RWD,<P>Be careful what you wish for. I have a chat log in which my H was talking about me to an online "friend" back when he was involved in his affair. Did I say "talking about me?" Let me change that to "raking me over the coals!" Believe me, it's not pretty. And the things he said about me haunt me even to this day and how far we've come. I know I also cheated on him, but as God is my witness, I never said bad things about him to OM or anyone else. As a matter of fact, I spoke so highly of my H at time, OM used to ask me, "why do you want me?" Good question. But I couldn't answer because I was clueless about all this emotional needs stuff. I couldn't articulate why I felt lonely and unhappy in my marriage.<P>But, getting back to the subject, knowing exactly what your spouse said about you is a heavy burden. Sometimes, I really wish I didn't know.<P>------------------<BR>Love is meant to heal. Love is meant to renew. Love is meant to oust all fear. Love is meant to harmonize differences. Love is meant to bring us closer to God.

New Woman: I can't get into anybody's profiles so I don't know your story. However, I couldn't believe how much what you wrote was ME. I had an affair and I still don't know why. I never said a bad thing about my H and my OM had the same response as yours. Really. And the OM - he told me some pretty bad stuff about his W. However, I found out that most of it was true. She hated my guts and even months after the affair was over she did her best to make my life as miserable as possible. But in a way, I brought their marriage back together as she began working on some unmet needs in their relationship. So that was good. And one question: What is an online chat log? That makes me nervous!

nander,<P>We have a program on our computer that logs what chatrooms are visited and also logs all instant message conversations. As a matter of fact, during my own affair, that's what alerted me to the possibility that my H previously had an affair of his own. In one of the logs to a "chat buddy," he admitted he'd had an affair. That's all it took for me to start looking for more evidence. Anyway, if you'd like more information, feel free to email me at ibelynn@yahoo.com<P>------------------<BR>Love is meant to heal. Love is meant to renew. Love is meant to oust all fear. Love is meant to harmonize differences. Love is meant to bring us closer to God.