Because this is such a painful subject. UH DUH! I think I want to include the humourous things the WS say that make no sense whatsoever.

So, I will start.

Dork: "Why can't we have the same relationship that you have with your first H"

Me: "Well, he didn't cheat on me, he didn't lie to me and we were in therapy for a year to try to save our marriage. So, when we split up, it was a mutal decision. We both had done our best.

1. Dorkism: "Well, I'm doing the same thing only different!" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

When I went to pick him up at the ship,
Dork:"Give me the car keys so I can drive. "
Me:"Where are your keys"
DOrk: "I left them and the house keys at your house
Me: "I gave them back to you"
Dork: "NO you didn't"
THis went on for the entire weekend. Every time he went to drive he would ask for the keys and then make a production out of givng my keys back.
Finally, I said, Dork, they are in your pocket
Dork: "No they're not"
Me: "Yes they are" and after about 3 more rounds of yes, no, etc, I reached over and pulled them out of his pocket. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Next time I came over, Same thing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
Only this time he said they were on board the ship.
Since we were sleeping in his room at L's house, it was easy to check his pocket.Sure enough they were there. I didn't do anything. But later he went in and moved they keys to an open shoe box. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> So I put the house key, the car keys on the same ring as L's house key.

Next time he was over he said.
Dork: "Where did you find my keys?"
Me: "Where you put them:
2. Dorkism:"They were on board, I don't know how they got in my pocket"

Okay, long, but where the heck are they living? In some alternate universe? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Any one have any so out there Dorkisms that they would care to share?

<small>[ February 04, 2005, 12:20 AM: Message edited by: fightingalone-again ]</small>

Yesterday's conversations:

Me: Dork, I need some money to survive.
Dork: I can't afford it.
Me: I need money to put gas in the car so I can go to work and so I have some money to survive.
DOrk: What else do you need money for?
Me: Oh food, little things like.
3. Dorkism: "What do you need money for food for?"

Me: Dork, you didn't pay the gas bills in December and January. THe gas is cut off. THere is an inspection happening this week. YOu have to pay the gas bill or the house can't be sold.
DOrk: I can't afford it. I gave you the last of the money
Me: No, you didn't. I told you I could make arrangemnt to roll the mortgage payment into the payout so we could both have some money.
Dork: No
Me: Dork, if you don't pay the bill, the house won't be sold.
Dork: No, you took all my money. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> FIne I'll pay half.

So I called the gas company begged them to put the gas back on. Explained aobut Dork leaving me with no money etc. So, they agree to final payout after house is sold. BUT with a HUGE security deposit. FIne Have to do it.

Me: DOrk, the gas will be back on tomorrow. BUT, the final bill will be almost a thousand dollars because of the security deposit.
Dork: WHAT?!?!
ME: Well, you didn't pay the bill for 2 months. I couldn't as I had to buy gas, food, rent, feryy rides, etc.
Dork: YOu should have used the money you "took" to pay the bill.
Me: YOu changed the account and said you would pay the bills. I couldn't pay the bills. I sent you a list in December of when things are due. You didn't pay December or January.
4. Dorkism: You don't need any money you should have paid the bills. How can I survive with no money?
Me: LMAO, Goodbye. Click

here is a classic I recieved:

WW:"I told you I don't want squat
from the house in Georgia, nor do I want your 401K, stocks, bonus, tax
return or anything from the Fla house, to include furniture. I am not
even asking for child support/alimony or anything like that. All I want
is equal time with the kids/joint legal custody, and my military
retirement. I think that is a pretty good deal. Just let me get this
done."

I replied: "All I want is my wife to be faithful, and for our kids to not live in a broken home"

Almost the next day WW started making demands for more of the things she said she didn't want. LMAO <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hosea

Hosea. Isn't it amazing how the Ws change their mind every time the wind blows?

THought of some classics that I heard. Repeatedly. For Years!

Dorkism Request: "Think for me." Or "Tell me what I think."

Current Dorkism: "You never let me do what I want" "You never listen to me" AND. "You are so controlling"

Huh? See previous Dorkism request.

Me: "HUH? What? Did you say something?"

Dorkism Response: Literally jumping up and down, stamping his feet screaming I HATE YOU, you always tell me what to do. You're not listening!

Me: Did I tell you to f*** someone else?

<small>[ February 01, 2005, 01:04 PM: Message edited by: fightingalone-again ]</small>

Oh boy....I could go on and on with this subject but don't have time right now....

Just a few...

WH: "we can still do things as a family after we're divorced"

WH: "I don't believe in divorce...I believe in spiritual divorce"....makes things easier for him to swallow...DORK!

WH: "We can still be friends and you can count on me." YEAH right!!

WH: "I'm here to help you heal". WHATEVER!!!

Oh...I have so many more but I have to get my son from school and to baseball practice where I get the pleasure of seeing the alien! Fun! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<small>[ February 01, 2005, 02:05 PM: Message edited by: TreeReich* ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Almost the next day WW started making demands for more of the things she said she didn't want. LMAO </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hosea....give Tom Joad a call!

Wondering if Mrs. Joad ever had that garage sale? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

me: I will say again that as long as you won't commit to breaking all contact that I feel like 2nd pick. I feel convenient instead of wanted. I feel like I am worth more than that, I feel like our marriage is worth more than that. I just wish you could also.

her: Today is his b day
I did send him a card - platonic card
Don't be mad please
I did tell you about it

Greer: OMG! NO way?

Don't know whether to laugh or cry. Well laughing is better for your mental health.

Tree: I have followed your story. I was hoping you would contribute. Yours is quite out there isn't he? But, my Dork is crashing through. THis might be a dead heat. Or should I say dead beat? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hey FAA,

On answering my questions about a 2nd A that I suspected...

Her: "I would never hurt you again... why don't you trust me?"

Me: Uhhh... duh, you had one A... all the signs are there that you're having another one... but yeah, I guess I trust you! NOT!

tree: I have hurt the "heal" one two!! OMG! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

My favorite one: "I can't move home unitl I am sure I will not do this to you again!" WTH??

Oh good LORD these are familiar.

I think my favorite is "I didn't tell you 'cause I didn't want to hurt you".

Like the repeated cheating wasn't hurtful, but me being aware of it was.

About posting intimate photos of herself on public boards:"It's no different than you posting story excerpts or poems...either way it is sharing something with other people."

From a certain point of view, I guess that is accurate. I just see a distinction between feedback on writing and showing folks my ****.

"I can have male friends. I have self control now. I know what I should and shouldn't do."

Again, maybe true. Not something I have much confidence in, all things considered. Heard the same thing repeatedly during her A's when I would bring up that she seemed to be spending an awful lot of time with certain folks. I believe it way less now than I did then. And I was hesitant then, but figured maybe I was really just being jealous and controlling(as she told me), so gave the benefit of the doubt.

One of the impediments I am running into is that a lot of the boundaries I have let her know I need are to her "just for a while". Makes me wonder.

Eh, one of these days I will stay on topic when replying to a thread like this. Just not today.

-OAK

WH - "We never would have gotten into an EA if you had just accepted our friendship from the beginning. It was your distrust and control that pushed us together."

WH - "I want to go out alone with her on the weekends just like I would a male best friend and I don't want you objecting or this marriage is over"

WH - after breaking NC for while - "I went to the movies with her to tell her I was going to put you first from now on and we had to go back to NC"

WH - "you're just going to have to accept you can't be the only woman in my life"

WH - "this whole thing is your fault because you just won't get over it. I forgave OW (for getting overly emotionally dependent on him), why can't you forgive her and just let us go back to being friends again?"

WH - "OW (who was 1/2 his age and 15 years younger than me) is so much more mature than you. She doesn't have a problem with married people having OS friends. She also gives me good marital advice (OW had a PA and 3 EA's before she was 27)."

Oh, the thick, thick fog...

WH: You can trust me.

WH: There's no "us" or "we" in this. This is only about you and me. (Conveniently forgetting our children, our family, slimeball OW and her family and all the other people hurt)

WH: I'm sleeping on some friends' couch. They don't want you to know where I am because you might harrass them. (Yeah, cuz it was OW's house and probably not her couch.)

Jane and Grapegirl. I have heard those ones too. What is it that makes them lose their minds? I am logical and I cannot comprehend the knee-jerk responses/scripts/lies that spew from their mouths. Most of the time it is a jaw dropping, hit the floor, what the he!! is that?

Where is their brain? In neutral at the very least! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

her: I am not attracted to you anymore
same weekend
her: I like your cheeks

her: take care of your daughter, you need to get used to it
her: I will have no problem getting her out of state, I have already checked on it

me: I don't like it when you get mad at me for being sick
her: you are always sick

me: Please stop emailing me
her: I am having a form (MS Word) problem. Could you help me please

her: I don't care as much as you think I do
her: You know I care

her: I promised I won't call him and I won't (did not say anything about taking his calls or trading emails)

her: spend more time with us (then gets on computer)
her: You don't love me (comes to bed late so she can not really know can she? damn computer)

her: We don't talk
me: Lets talk
her: no (gets on computer)

her: if this relationship was ment to be it would be easier

her: stop playing that stupid game
me: ok lets spend time together
her: after I am done on the computer

me: I feel like you would rather watch TV or use the computer
her: That is not true
her: move out of the way
or
her: (gets on computer)

me: what do your actions teach the kids?
her: don't worry about *MY* kids.
or
her: don't worry about them they are not your kids

(top)
her: It makes me upset that you keep finding my email password
her: check my email
me: checks the email
her: It makes me upset that you keep finding my email password
me: change it
her: no, it doesn't matter anymore
(go to top and do over)

her: I just want to go home (back to home city, knowing we can't sell the house yet)
or
her: you know how much I don't want to be here
then
her: I am not planning on leaving you

her: I just need to find out for myself how he is (serial cheater and she knows it)
her: He has matured

her: I love 2 people

me: (for last 2 1/2 years) can we please get a babysitter and go out?
her: no, I don't trust anyone with my kids
her: you never take me out

her: you are more of a long term kinda guy
her: he is more of a playmate kinda guy

her: I like spontinaity
her: You need to give me some warning

there are so many more that I have forgotten and probably just as many still to be said

<small>[ February 02, 2005, 04:34 PM: Message edited by: greergan ]</small>

Here's another classic:

ME: When were you going to tell me about the A, & moving out?

WW: I wanted to wait until you went to Cancun (end of Jan 05) but then that would ruin your trip, so then I decided that I needed to tell you before you spent money on me for Christmas, because that wouldn't be right.

Her logic is amazing

Okay. This is my all time most favorite (ick) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> (grrrrr!)

"I wish I could take her party-animal-ness and your responsibility and smush you both together into one person."

He still can't believe he ever uttered those words...which is a good thing, I guess.

He's very remorseful these days.

Kimmy? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> That is a Dorkism if I ever heard one.
I think it is called an oxymoron. You can't be both at the same time! DUH!

Greergan? HUH?

You know, I think I am really starting to understand why it is so damb hard to Plan A. If you have a reasonably logical mind, how the heck can you deal with this stuff without driving YOURSELF wacko? It does not compute. It does not compute. It does not compute......

Like I said. What does that mean? Where is that graemlin scratching its' head? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

o, o, I forgot

her: what are we going to do
me: you really don't care?
her: no
me: we will do (whatever it is)
her: I feel so controlled


Here is my favorite one

Why cant you just start acting like you want me to care

<small>[ February 02, 2005, 05:50 PM: Message edited by: greergan ]</small>