K,
just wanted to let you know that I am reading your thread. My thoughts are with you and I'm feeling with you.

I know where you are right now........... listen to what SH tells you and follow through with it.

I don't know if you have been following my last thread in "Recovery".............

We too had a bump...........my husband lied to me again!!!! I felt like "shooting him" too!

I got some real good replys to my post and I'm now doing my best to listen to the advise I was given.

No matter what..........you are not alone!
bb

Thank you all for your support.

Sierra.....howdy!!! Great to hear from you anytime!

BB.....hi.... haven't heard from you in a long time. I will read your thread in recovery.

My SIL called today. She was telling me that WH has so much guilt that he is carrying around in him.

Right now it feels to me like it's a fight between his guilt and my pain. And the way he sees it, is that his feelings are more important than mine.

It's just so stupid. And now he acts like nothing is wrong - and I know that's only going to last as long as I keep quiet.

But I really do appreciate everyone here, and all the support that I get - both here and my friends and family.

I thank God for you all!!!

K

Oh my memory really came back reading your post...

FYI...I found out that it is COMMON some WS act out in anger and are violent.

In fact, I don't think there's enough work or studies being done to help this problem.

In the end, during the "straw that broke the camel's back" phase of my former marriage, my xh became extremely violent when his affair was again RE-DISCOVERED and brought to light. I was bruised all over. I left that time and filed a police report. Never had him arrested, but filed report for the divorce trial that didn't happen. But it's still there. The report. And another.

Sometimes the WS gets way outta control. They can't get their lives together and totally disrespect the BS boundaries and get soooo angry when you demand something...like simple honesty or answering a simple question that NORMAL people could do day in and day out.

I would seriously look at the violence factor here. Something is NOT right with this. He is not being open.

When I had the last go round with my xh, it was because he had been found out yet once again. the last DD. He went ballistic.

If I were a betting woman, I'd put a million dollars down that he's not only in contact, but doing just as SH said and put the affair on the very very down low. It's super secret now. But it's still going on. He's still mentally in la la land. But you know better don't you? Don't you?

Hi, Justpeachy.....

Don't think I have ever heard from you before. HI! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Yeah, I am pretty sure that I DO know better. WH has just reverted back to his old defensive, bad behavior.

Defensive about EVERYTHING!!!!

I explained to him once before, that if the shoe was on the other foot, that I had been the one to stray, and I wanted to be trusted again, I would do EVERYTHING in my power to make sure he knew where I was, where I would be, give him phone logs, and access to everything, just so that he would trust me again.

His reply? "I just don't know what you want me to do!"

SH's statement that WH has faulty thinking is an understatement.

WH's statement about SH? "He's really a nice guy, but he is too pushy!" That's because he didn't want to do anything SH suggested.

Hopefully, my situation will not come to what yours did. I wish to get out of it before it comes to that.

Thanks, JP

K