How do you deal with the loss of sleep?

Me, I hit the music and exercise like a demon. Makes me feel better, not worse.

I remember the attractive person I have been. The one I "gave up" on mainting somewhere along the way in the marriage long ebfore the A. When I remember, I know I have Self-efficacy: the raw ability to make things happen.

So often, we complain about the crap in our lives instead of celebrating the good. So for me, this thread is a place where people up late nights with me wanna let me know what ROCKS in their life. If you don't think you have anything, then this thread might be a good place to start exploring what those thing about you are.

Hiya Sprint!

Good posts on Bob's thread... I'm amazed that you guys are doing so well so quickly! Congratulations!

I usually don't have any trouble sleeping... if I do, I just pretend that I'm in one of my many boring meetings! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

**Yawn*** in fact, I've got another meeting in about 10 minutes! Boy, I'm getting so sleepy!

Tonight I am listening to a bit of classic Def Leppard.

Drinking some tea (used to be 1 quart of whiskey - but I don't need that yoke), and watching posts, hoping to reach out and conenct with people who might need a friend at this hour.

Doing some dips, situps and pushups as I burn away the wee hours.

Isn't it funny how when you get with yourself and push away what hurts, you can reach into what has always mattered to you?

I had always defined how happy I felt in terms of what I did and how I felt about myself in a competative manner. But in the M, I became lazy and weak. Simply accepted my position in the M as irrreplacable, until some weasely turd of a man tried to take my (w)/(l)ife over. Not on a bet pal.

I am happier today about me than I have been in a long time. I know that this confidence is what is attractive.

yo RIF...

Where you posted. You in theatre?

Sprint you listened to classic Def Leppard

My band supported Def Leppard in front of 250 people in 1980 <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> they were just another Northern band back then.

I still have the copy of their first self financed EP that Joe Eliot gave all the support bands ! "getcha rocks off" on the wonderfully named 'Bludgeon Riffola' record label !

Hey Sprint - I'm in Afghanistan... got 74 more days until we fly outta here!

NICE.

Got a friend up here who is a dentist now, but back in the 80s he played drum for Tim Feehan. They have a recordning studio down in LA.

You still in music?

I mostly listen to classic rock meeself.

RIF - Good luck mate...

You run into any PPCLI from Canadian Armed forces, particularly from the jump companies give em a hard time from me.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Sprint you are a wonderful man -you have helped your wife in such a great and loving way. You both are very lucky.

I'm working out to some old Hank Williams Jr. right now. Been on some weird country kick for the last month or so.

Really like the theme of your post. We all do have so much to be thankful for. I pray everyday for God to help me dwell on all my blessings and not the other. Should I be talking about God when I'm listening to Hank sing "I like to have women I've never had"?

Have a good one and always remember that IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ?ALIVE!!

Would it be all right if I worked soemthing out here.

such as?

I found out about my Wh A when it was almost over. He has been treating me better since we went away for a week last August. I see now that getting away from where we lived was a blessing. He is feeling scared and afraid that I will choose to end the M. I have told him no -I love him and will not leave. However I am hurt and need time to heal. This hit me very hard. However the verbal abuse over the last 2 years has left me withdrawn and in a shell. I do not feel excited like I used to be. I hope the real me can come out of the shell soon. I feel like I am hiding from any more pain. Kind of like shell shock is the only way to explain. I do not feel real love for him anymore - I like him have great sex with him -just not feeling in love with him anymore. I feel dead inside. I tried to tell him last night but he went into such a panic it was so sad -so I told him I do love him. He is a big guy and seeing him get like he did scared me. He keep saying your not in love with me anymore...I told him I do love him. The pain on his face was horrible. I know he loves me -will my love return???

Wow that's a tuff one. I suppose in reality only time will tell. I know that MBers has a book about rekindling the love or falling back in love something like that. I've not read it but having read a couple of their other books I would say it might be a good resource.

I'm curious, has the verbal abuse stopped? Does he know how you feel about it?

One last thing at least for this post, I understand your desire to not hurt your S and that is natural but remember, the truth is the truth. My W has a very hard time expressing her true feeling when she thinks it will strike someone the wrong way, this stems from a verbally abusive father, so I wonder if you don't have this same thing going on. Are you familar with the concept of radical honesty or as I fondly refer to it "brutal honesty"? If not you should read up on it.

I was verbally and physically abused as a child, and by my ex H - the verbal abuse has stopped. He feels horrible about what he has said and done. He is taking full responsibilty for everything. He says there was nothing I did wrong. Yet I do have a problem with hurting OP - it is almost like I am hurting myself. I can not bare to see OP suffer. It rips me apart as well. I am a fixer -always been. The book about finding love again -I am not sure I even want to read it yet. I know about it. Need to read it just don't want to even think about it right now.

I could see why you would want to wait. Are you in IC it sounds to me like there are some major issues with YOU that you should deal with first?

Yes I am and he is helping me however he wants to meet my H and I told H -he has not called him yet to make and appt. So its like who cares..

Well, while I'm not defending H it is a big step I think especially for a man. Maybe this is a good time to let the radical honesty concept kick in while working on the new more assertive you by telling him how important it is that he make that call. Or if he's like me offer to set it up for him.

I can do that but I have reached a point with him that I have nothing left to give right now and have told him so. I have taken care of so many of his family issues I am just exhausted. FIL has demetia and he has so many issues and is 91 and very demanding and is doing things that involve me having to straighten out alot of crazy issues. Its just to much to even explain here. short version is he was a wall st banker a VP. My H has just receieved guardian ship and we have to account for all Dad's money -well we had statements coming to our house -Dad sent out change of address forms to all the comanies and now I do not have the finacial information needed for the courts and must sart all over again. Just one thing he has done. He lives 2 hrs away. I am what my name says and have alot to deal with there. Work 7/24 and take care of alot of OP. Love it though. When I met my H - I had been so hurt by me ex and my BF that I did not want a R. He showed me how to love again. Wish he could show me how again -It is hard having a hardened heart and sad.