I talked to my wife again. The conversation always ends the same way. I am left empty and with no hope for a beautiful marriage. She says she does not talk to OM, but that she cannot control the thoughts that enter her mind. She seems rather cold at times and I know I am missing something from her. After taking the ENs questions it is obvious I need more conversation with her as well as affection.

I have also concluded that over the last several weeks I have learned to dislike my wife and I don’t have that feverish rush to please her and to touch her. After analyzing the past several years ( 3 with the affair and 3 after the affair) I find myself not happy. I know well it was not like this in our youth and we seem to be missing the special magic. Or perhaps I should say she is missing it. I was willing to love her all the time.

So I keep coming back to the idea of divorce.