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Just had to get a few thing vented. I remember someone speaking yesterday of a sense of foreboding. I'm feeling that right now.
I am very concerned that my wife barely reacted when I told her (and the kids confirmed) that they wanted to stay at home. Barely any reaction, although she says she cries herself to sleep at night.
Today, she asked me if the kids were back in school, I told her yes, and at the moment we are working together on catch-up homework.
She said,"Well, you know, don't worry. Everything will work out fine for the kids."
Then she asked how I was doing with the bills (she talked me into staying in the house so that the kids wouldn't lose their home - even tho I had planned on moving so that I could live more economically). I decided to stay, paid the month's rent and most of the rest of the bills (have to finish with the next check - plus I'm buying food'). Told her things were tight.
She laid into me, "This is the story of our entire life - you never make enough for us to be comfortable).
I'm sorry, but I'm supporting 5 people while you spend 7 years in school!!!
Really puching buttons. I refused to answer her charge, just walked off and started supper (she's on IM).
Now she IMS to know where I went. I really am not starting to care about this stuff - maybe I'm just getting used to plan A.
She'scoming over to do her laundry - can't afford to buy a new set of washer/dryer. I suggested she do it over at her 'friends' house. She said it's much more comfortable here. FOR WHO???
Dang - am I getting callous or bitter or what?
David
Keith, Caren, TM, Know - you are all on my fridge prayer list...
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tanelornpete...
KA here..i sent to you an email at your hotmail address....please help me off MB if possible...
KA...dan
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i feel for you .....
story of my life too...i oncemade 250-400k yearly and when i lost my job cindy then made much more than i and i heard about it for 4 years until last sept when we split....
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David, I also heard the "the kids will be ok" thing. C'mon you cheating spouses, do you think what you are doing is GOOD FOR KIDS! That line really, really ticks me off. I watched our precious 14 year old daughter sob uncontrolably when we told her that we were splitting up. She wanted to know why. My wife lied - I remained quiet. When people are in the fog, they will hurt anyone. They don't care. They are only thinking of the other person and themselves. David - you do not deserve this hurt. Your kids don't, I don't, and everyone hurting in this discussion forum does not deserve it. Say that to yourself when you, like me, cannot sleep tonight. I have not had a decent night sleep in 9 months. I wake up and puke my breakfast up, I have nightmares, night-sweats, and my hands shake. While I do this, my WW is enjoying her new freedom. Yes, I am angry tonight!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
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Hey David -
Your fridge list may really work! More on that on my own thread though...
Your WW will push buttons...mine sure did. If you can imagine this - she told me that she had been faking "Big O's" for the last five years. A comment she has since retracted and apologized for making. So just keep your Plan A going, let her throw all the cr@p at you she wants, and just smile back at her. This will not only show her what peace and love she is missing out on, but will drive her crazy!
Look at the laundry as a good excuse to have her around to view your Plan A. I had a very hard time in Plan A because my WW wanted little or nothing to do with me...very hard to meet any needs of hers with little contact.
Keep it up - your doing just fine!
TM
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Coming over to do laundry! My wife moved out and then wanted to come over to make a cake. I politely (and I mean politely) said I would prefer that she did not as it was too difficult for me. She went beserk and started screaming at me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by knowalibis:
<strong> i feel for you .....
story of my life too...i oncemade 250-400k yearly and when i lost my job cindy then made much more than i and i heard about it for 4 years until last sept when we split.... </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Know - I'm emailing you.....
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by BHINWI: <strong> Coming over to do laundry! My wife moved out and then wanted to come over to make a cake. I politely (and I mean politely) said I would prefer that she did not as it was too difficult for me. She went beserk and started screaming at me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You should politly tell her that you don't need cake you need W back. -rh-
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Yep - this is a goooood opportunity for plan A - 'specially to see the kids having fun, getting to bed, etc.
Plan on being VERY careful. She can PUSH BUTTONS!!!!
David
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YES! I ROCK! heh heh heh
Tonight was the MODEL plan A night for me. WW showed up, and the moment she saw the kids (I was getting them ready for bed) she turned into W and burst into tears and hugged them all, tellling them how much she loved them (I could tell it was W).
Then she went into the bedroom and started packing more clothes (She has walk-in closets full). Went to the laundry room and started laundry. Started in on me on how bad I used to do her clothes - how I ruined so many items (so right - took me a LONG time to read the labels FIRST). But instead of the fight she was expecting, I just said, that was a really frustrating thing to have happen. Stopped her anger, she just said, "well, yes," I said, "It made you feel like I didn't respect you enough when I bleached your clothes" She just looked at me like I was an alien. She calmed down and we started sorting thru a huge basket of socks tha need to be folded - got hers out.
Whole evening went that way. When she left, she said, "I'll see you later?" I just walked into the house and shut the door. I'd love to know what she's thinking right now....
David, Plan A......
WooHoo!
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David,
I only follow your story here and there. What is your plan A ?. I would reverse babble her back. She becomes cake eaters and you help feeding the cookie monster.
-rh-
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by redhat:
<strong> David,
I only follow your story here and there. What is your plan A ?. I would reverse babble her back. She becomes cake eaters and you help feeding the cookie monster.
-rh- </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Nah - didn't need to RB (I still suck at that anyway). She just saw our home, how nice it was, and tried her best to engage me in any kind of fight, never worked. This is her last laundry day here - was washing stuff she left - she is buying her own stuff this week. I just made her feel welcome and wanted, without pressure and no LBs. Left a load of ENs.
I don't care if she gets the cake right now - when (if this goes to Plan B) -- she is going to miss A LOT. That's my Plan A.
David
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David -
WAY TO GO!
I am here in your personal cheerleading section...
GIVE ME A "D"........"D!"
etc, etc.
Keep up the good work. Her head will absolutely spin when you hit her with Plan B! Mine evidently spun, and I allowed her to break NC today - I got pretty beat up with 2x4's for doing it, too....
But hey, even after 2 days, she couldn't stay dark. The whip is slowly cahnging hands....
TM
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by TravellinMan:
<strong> David -
WAY TO GO!
I am here in your personal cheerleading section...
GIVE ME A "D"........"D!"
Keep up the good work. Her head will absolutely spin when you hit her with Plan B! Mine evidently spun, and I allowed her to break NC today - I got pretty beat up with 2x4's for doing it, too....
etc, etc.
But hey, even after 2 days, she couldn't stay dark. The whip is slowly cahnging hands....
TM </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">TM - STILL ON TOP OF MY PRAYER LIST. Not because you're more IMPORTANT (hee hee) - just came out that way. Anyway - still praying for ya.
<small>[ February 10, 2005, 04:18 AM: Message edited by: tanelornpete ]</small>
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Lord, that fog is deep!
She was on IM, I messaged, said 'Hi, what's up?' She sent back "I'm in class". SHe asked if I was taking the kids to school tomorrow...like I'd fotget somehow...I said, 'Yep, on time and eveything'. Then she said 'I'm having a hard time paying attention,' so I replied back 'Well, I'll leave you alone, don't want to cause prolems for you - TTY later' and she fired back "There you go, being defensive again. That's one of the major problems between us. WHat makes you think you were the cause of it" "I said, well, because I sent you an IM in the middle of class..." She said "There were some major problems before that" "I said, I'm really sorry to hear that!" And she blocked me from IM!
Weirdness never stops.
WOnder what her other problems might be. Hope OM messed up....hee hee.
David
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you are right david...
very similiar sitchs....
any news yet...
boy do i have a seperation agreement from hell i wish i could share....great reading material
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i take it that you didnt get much of a visit with W but rather WW....
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by knowalibis:
<strong> i take it that you didnt get much of a visit with W but rather WW.... </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You got it. I hate that. Miss W so much.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by knowalibis:
<strong> you are right david...
very similiar sitchs....
any news yet...
boy do i have a seperation agreement from hell i wish i could share....great reading material </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Can you send it to me? I'd like to see one - may be drawing one up soon....
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wish i could...it has been silenced by her attorney and i have said too much...but i certainly can help you with my recent knowledge but it only really covers house and no contact....everything else was done
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