Sleep good Caren!
I plan on going to take a hot bath myself here soon.
See ya in the AM.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ............

LOL About the SF Tree. I don't know, I can block out the *movies* for the most part, I just live in the NOW. It's definitely a learned behavior, as is most of the things I do in relation to him. I do get mad at him sometimes, or mad at the pain, I just don't show him. The pain is starting to hemmorage over now and I take it out on other people......therefore I know it's time.

Poor other people.....LMAO. I have a really hard time being nice to stupid people anyway....they irritate me. I blasted this chick in my group therapy yesterday. She's VERY wordy, but she talks in circles, she's very articulate, but doesn't say a fricken thing. We have to tell what we're taking out of group at the end of the day, and she said "I'm not taking anything home from the group, I don't feel like I belong here, I feel like an outsider....blah, blah blah"<-----The blah blah's are the tons of words I can't remember, cuz she can't just say what she means. I was sitting there twitching while she talked and I said "I think you should run for a political office, because you talk alot but you never say a damn thing" She looked all shocked, and started to say that she hasn't made any connections with anyone....I said "Yes, you have, you've connected with me, you're making me twitch everytime you talk!" LMFAO

The counselors just sorta look at me....they didn't say anything because they probably want to smack her too.

I almost said "No wonder you had a nervous breakdown, you never get to the problem, you tap dance around it"

UGH!!!!!!! Stupid people SUCK!!!!! I know that I shouldn't get so tweaked at people like that, but I can't help it, I just want to shake them loose from their eye teeth!!!!!!!!!!

I really should work for hallmark, don't you think?!?!?! Fluffy, fluffy niceness fluff...Arrgh I couldn't be nice today if someone were paying me.

-Caren

<small>[ February 11, 2005, 07:11 AM: Message edited by: CarenMc ]</small>

Concerning the SF.Sometimes when you feeling so bad SF makes you feel good for awhile. I have done this myself. I felt dead and SF gave me a few minutes of feeling alive. I used my WH as a boytoy..well what more can I say.My opinion only and take that from where it comes.

Good Morning, Caren -

Seems to me that you are a prime Plan B candiate, IMO.

Let me just encourage you by saying that I have found Plan B to be a safe haven for me after watching WW be so wrapped up in OM for so long. It has allowed me to get on with life without having to deal with that every day.

To me, keeping my focus on preparing myself for life without WW, rather than waiting on her to "come around", has been the key to some peace in my life. Listen to Mortarman.

BTW - SF with WW does not at all appeal to me any longer.

Georgia

For the longest time, I used to go over to his house, have SF, and then immediately get up and leave, I'd say stuff like "Okay, well thanks" and leave, LMAO he felt so used, it was humorous.

I actually don't feel too bad, and SF is always great between us. I'm not sure why he is okay with it....I think that he's trying to keep me *taken care of* so I don't go out and find someone else. LOL, I think I can keep my hormones in check, sheesh!

I am hoping to get him over here one more time tommorrow night, then Sunday is Plan B day (Crossing my fingers)!

-Caren

Caren....You are a trip girl!!!!
We would have fun hanging out together...I just know it!!! LOL!!!

I understand about the SF. In the beginning I wanted to with my WH but he wasn't interested. He said he couldn't because he would feel like he was using me and that there was another person involved. I guess he felt he would be "cheating" on the OW. Nice huh????
That really blew my mind! WHATEVER!!!

I agree with you.....I am getting to the point where I just can't even deal with stupid people and stupid comments. I've been speaking my mind and people just look at me like I've lost it. OH WELL....get over it people! When you are walking in my shoes then you can talk to me. Know what I mean?????

Caren:

I've been wanting to let you know that I really understand your continued sexual contact with your WH. Everyone's situation is different. Folks who have kept up with my drama know that SF was a big part of my PLAN A. The OW must not have met this particular need real well for him. Who knows? However, he remained very much attracted to me in this regard and me to him. SF was an important part of OUR relationship and still is.

So prior to going into PLAN B I really played this up with candles, special lingerie, music, etc. He had to know what he would be missing. So when he was over there with her he was thinking about those times with me. For my H, SF is one of his ways of expressing his love for me. He used to tell me how much he loved me during those times. Thankfully he has started doing that again.

I became confident in knowing, during PLAN A, that I have the history. I know what he likes in the SF area. It was a learning experience for the OW whereas he did not have to instruct me on what to do. Do you know what I mean?

We won't go into how we had SF in the middle of my PLAN B. Wow, did I get 2X4s here. You don't want to make that big mistake. However, I am just letting you know that I understand your situation.

What's also interesting is that I also fix my H's plate and take care of him, etc. like you do. I have faced up to the fact that my H likes to be taken care of. When I stopped doing this, the OW stepped in. I am now going back to that role and feel comfortable with it. On the other hand, he takes care of me as well. He makes sure the car is washed, vacuums the house, provides well financially, etc. Marriage is about meetiing each other's emotional needs. Right?

<small>[ February 11, 2005, 11:40 AM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>

OMG Mimi...someone finally understands that?? I think I may freak out LMAO!!! NO one has understood the SF thing, at all....but I know what I'm doing, they seem to think I'm being weak and grasping at straws, so I just let them think whatever they want! I enjoy the SF, and I've done the same thing....bought TONS of new lingerie...I don't just do what I used to do in the SF department, I've been making it over the top insane sex..LMAO, I KNOW she's not doing that. I've learned several *new tricks*, at one point after SF he said "Okay, who are you and what did you do with my wife?" LMFAO!!!!!!!

About *taking care* of my husband....I really do like to do it. My friends/sisters are like...why do you do that? Why do you SERVE him? I'm like I'm not SERVING anyone, I like to take care of him. They don't get it, therefore I'm some subserviant little thing.....nothing could be further from the truth. I love doing it for him, I actually miss it alot since we've been separated...I'm just weird like that...LOL

-Caren

Hey...I miss it too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
I just don't have anybody to share it with! LOL!
I can't stand my WH so nothing will be happening there. I'm hoping one day soon I can meet someone and have all that again. God...you just don't know how bad you miss it until it's gone. UUUGGHHHH! LOL!!!

Tree-

Gotcha....I know that'll I'll be missing it, here in 2 days.

-Caren

Double post

<small>[ February 11, 2005, 12:27 PM: Message edited by: CarenMc ]</small>

UGHHH I just talked to WH, I asked him if he wanted to come over and watch a movie Saturday...which is code for get over here and have SF with me...LOL, he said "I dunno, I don't know what's going on." Which is not a surprising answer, because he gave me that same answer last week, and yet he still came over here.

I don't know if I'll keep asking him, or if I'll just take my SF Wednesday as the last I'm gettin for a while. Damn it, I really wanted to go out with a bang (LMAO no pun intended..I meant go out of plan A with a bang).....guess I'll still try to work on him about it.

-Caren

<small>[ February 11, 2005, 12:28 PM: Message edited by: CarenMc ]</small>

I agree with your idea of GOING OUT WITH A BANG! Make your plan. You know what you need to do! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I dunno, have to be careful, if I get too pushy he backs off.....He won't understand the *urgency* because he doesn't know I'm about to go to plan B....*sigh*.

I really want his last memories to be good ones, and even if I can't talk him into tommorrow night, I think that they will be, but I really sorta needed tommorrow night for me...ya know, one last fix.

Thank GAWD my Dr. Called in my Xanax. Because I know that MY withdrawl is going to be tough.....how long does it last for the BS again??? Hopefully not too awful long.

On the Divorce Busters site they say that it takes 1 month for every year of marriage to get it back on track (something like that), I'm on 6 months of trying everything.....been married 9 years....sooooo maybe 3 months...LMAO, yeah right how could that figure even be accurate.

Okay I'm just rambling. I had a sneaking suspicion he may shoot me down about tommorrow night, not sure why....but that's okay. I know that he'll think the PBL is retaliation if he doesn't come over. He'll think damn, I didn't give her sex one night and she gives me this? LMAO

-Caren

Caren -

Be thankful that your WH will let you fill his EN for SF at all....I haven't had SF with my WW in over 2.5 months. Although for women SF is not as high of a need generally speaking.

I am somewhat asexual right now anyway....too many things bouncing around in my head already.

Good plan though, have a great night, SF and all, then lower the boom - Plan B (not like I am doing it, but a true Plan B) and his head will absolutely spin!

Keep us posted...


TM

Trust me...it's been 8 months for me and I want to scream!!!!! I'm a sexual person so not having it for so long is making me crazy!!! Boy, when I do have it again, ya'll all may hear me. LMAO!!!!!

LMAO Tree!!!!!! I know I'm like turbo SF freak lately....Stanley said it's some kinda sperm competition thing....cuz I know that my WH is passing it out elsewhere....I don't know about all that but I do know I could have it 3 times a day and not blink an eye...LMAO

I have been talking *suggestively* to him all day, I've been saying things like "Are you sure you don't want to come and watch my movie and by movie I mean ****** and by watch I mean **** LMAO....and I'm about to talk suggestively some more, and it's going to involve whipped cream!!!!!

He's stopping by to drop off $10 for DD13's cookie sale.....but she told him it was okay to have the cookie delivered HERE....ON VALENTINE'S DAY...that's not gonna work since Plan B day is the day before...LMAO, I think I'll just tell her to have it delivered to his work....hopefully the church can change the delivery location Arrrrrrgh. I know he'll be like "Ohhhh gotta go over and get my cookie...and while I'm there a fix of my icing." If they can't I don't know what I'm going to do.

I am ever so glad that my stupid meds got called in, it oughta help with the withdrawl (The Xanax....trading one addiction for another I guess). The new anti-d's I'm getting on Monday.

-Caren

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CarenMc:
<strong> LMAO Tree!!!!!! I know I'm like turbo SF freak lately....Stanley said it's some kinda sperm competition thing....cuz I know that my WH is passing it out elsewhere....I don't know about all that but I do know I could have it 3 times a day and not blink an eye...LMAO

I have been talking *suggestively* to him all day, I've been saying things like "Are you sure you don't want to come and watch my movie and by movie I mean ****** and by watch I mean **** LMAO....and I'm about to talk suggestively some more, and it's going to involve whipped cream!!!!!

He's stopping by to drop off $10 for DD13's cookie sale.....but she told him it was okay to have the cookie delivered HERE....ON VALENTINE'S DAY...that's not gonna work since Plan B day is the day before...LMAO, I think I'll just tell her to have it delivered to his work....hopefully the church can change the delivery location Arrrrrrgh. I know he'll be like "Ohhhh gotta go over and get my cookie...and while I'm there a fix of my icing." If they can't I don't know what I'm going to do.

I am ever so glad that my stupid meds got called in, it oughta help with the withdrawl (The Xanax....trading one addiction for another I guess). The new anti-d's I'm getting on Monday.

-Caren </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Caren, all I have to say is, "WHAT IN THE H*** IS WRONG WITH YOUR WH? What an IDIOT!"

Sorry. Really frustrated here...Prozac and all (hee hee).

David

LMAO David!!!!!!! Why is he an idiot....not sure which of the statements in my earlier post made you say that!!! LMFAO

-Caren

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CarenMc:
<strong> LMAO David!!!!!!! Why is he an idiot....not sure which of the statements in my earlier post made you say that!!! LMFAO

-Caren </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Pick any of the above. If my wife was offering what you were, I'd do ANYTHING to make her happy - and love doing it.