NCW....chase those demons away!

The only person RAP has failed is herself. She has disappointed and let you down, but she has failed herself.

And hopefully she has reserved a small space for herself in her own heart.

{{{NCW}}}

NOW

Something called me here this afternoon. It can only be God.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
Demon #1: I am worthless.

Demon #2:I failed.

Demon #3:I wasted my life.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Life is a journey. You my friend have three wonderful boys, who are on their way to becoming great young men. That alone wipes away numbers 1 and 3.

As for failing, it takes two to make an M, it takes two to Recover. RAP never joined you in this endeavor (at least not whole heartedly). It was a losing battle from the start. Therefore, you fought the good fight, but that doesn't make you a loser!

Now, you have a lot ahead you. You know that. Don't look at it all at once. You're allowed your pain and I'm sure it's tough. None of this is easy. However, if you're don't continue to be the leader for your boys then your life will become a waste. Cast out those demons and stand proud. I'm proud to call you my friend.

{{{{{NCWalker}}}}}

NCW...

I wonder....what would happen if you could not face and beat those demons?

I have faced those very three myself in the aftermath of the A.....they threatened to destroy me. If they had gotten the better of me, I would be exactly where RAP is now.


NOW

NCW... I have those exact same three thoughts many, many times every day. Those are the ones. You nailed them.

I had a nice dance with #3 just this morning on the way to work. He stepped on my toes for all 25 minutes of my commute.

GC

To my friends,

Your sentiments are much appreciated.

I wrote this more out of frustration. And I am truly gladdened to hear the community response to how wrong that line of thinking is.

They come, but I beat them back and will continue to do so.

Submit to God, resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 (I think)

I just wrote this because I needed to SAY it, ya' know?

It is AGGRAVATING. It is SO OBVIOUS what she is throwing away so callously. And yet we all do it.

My prayers are actually mostly for her. For her well being. I fear the worst, but I am her husband, not her father. I was given a great peace by God WAAAY back in July. He told me I had done all I could and spiritually released me from this marriage.

I wasn't ready to quit yet. Do you hear me? I WASN'T READY TO QUIT. So I asked Him for strength, and I asked Him for permission, to try longer. I shored up my boundaries and gave it my best.

And she crossed them.

But I can look in the mirror and be pleased with who I am. I don't have to live in fear that my sons may discover my actions. I don't worry about getting woeful stares from my neighbors, friends, or family.

So I don't have someone wonderful to take me in their arms anymore and appreciate me. So what. If I NEEDED that for myself, THAT, my friends, would be scary. I have what I need - my God.

Everything else, and I mean EVERYTHING ELSE, that is good in my life is nothing more than a blessing wholly from HIS GRACE that I have been entrusted to steward for Him.

And I am not about to let Him down.

Pain? It lets you know your alive. And as long as I am, I will serve.

NCWalker (screaming from the pulpit again, sorry)

{{{{{to all my friends}}}}}}

{Edited for capitalization}

<small>[ March 01, 2005, 02:07 PM: Message edited by: ncwalker ]</small>

NCWALKER:

Hello, reading your thread...I should just print it and walk around with it, Promise I'll eat it before the enemy gets ahold of it...LOL

Call me later tonight..I have some question's and concerns...

My new Journal link is below
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=037245#000003


And I'm not thread jacking....Well A little....

Also where can I find your thread on service? i was told by GreyCloud to read it...FWW is posting on here as well...