Excellent analogy, Belle! Do you watch a lot of AP or Discovery? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Does anyone else know the legality of him trying to talk her out of showing up in court? This has been picking at my brain. I don't think that "witness tampering" is really that big of a deal with a misdemeanor, but I've been wondering.

Good luck again, Dani! I'm thinking of you all day here!

Dobie

OK, getting way to into Dani's life, but looked this up in the Virginia Code

§ 18.2-460. Obstructing justice.

A. If any person without just cause knowingly obstructs a judge, magistrate, justice, juror, attorney for the Commonwealth, witness or any law-enforcement officer in the performance of his duties as such or fails or refuses without just cause to cease such obstruction when requested to do so by such judge, magistrate, justice, juror, attorney for the Commonwealth, witness, or law-enforcement officer, he shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor.

B. If any person, by threats or force, knowingly attempts to intimidate or impede a judge, magistrate, justice, juror, attorney for the Commonwealth, witness, or any law-enforcement officer, lawfully engaged in his duties as such, or to obstruct or impede the administration of justice in any court, he shall be deemed to be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor.

C. If any person by threats of bodily harm or force knowingly attempts to intimidate or impede a judge, magistrate, justice, juror, witness, or any law-enforcement officer, lawfully engaged in the discharge of his duty, or to obstruct or impede the administration of justice in any court relating to a violation of or conspiracy to violate § 18.2-248 or subdivision (a) (3), (b) or (c) of § 18.2-248.1, or § 18.2-46.2 or § 18.2-46.3, or relating to the violation of or conspiracy to violate any violent felony offense listed in subsection C of § 17.1-805, he shall be guilty of a Class 5 felony.

D. Any person who knowingly and willfully makes any materially false statement or representation to a law-enforcement officer who is in the course of conducting an investigation of a crime by another is guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Dobie:
[QB] Excellent analogy, Belle! Do you watch a lot of AP or Discovery? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Both, actually, I waste way too much time on it!

*waiting on pins and needles to hear from dani* Dani sweetie are you ok today?

Thank you all for thinking and praying for me today. I am home, and exhausted!

BTW, the OWs profile now says "Dealing with drama and lies from a vindictive individual." She must be talking about herself...

Anyhow, I got to the court house at about 1:30. The case was at 2pm. I brought a good friend of mine with me and she and I walked into the court house. After about 10 minutes waiting in the court waiting area I met up with the recorder I hired. OW and WH walked into the hall at about 1:50. I turned away from them and talked to my friend. WH and OW stood directly behind me (I was turned to my friend) and stood there. Then OW walked to the bathroom (you could tell that she had been crying) and WH said to me 'So, how are ya? How are the kids?' I said 'good' and walked away.
Just a few minutes before they opened the court OWs H shows up and starts chatting with OW and WH like they are all buddies. Rather strange if you ask me.
WH was wearing jeans and a button up shirt, OW in black pants and a way to small dress shirt. She looks like crap, and WH did as well.

When the court opened my friend and I and the court recorder sat on one side of the room and WH, OW and OWs H sat on the other.

When it was our turn I told my story, showed my documents and then OW told her story. She signed that she declined a public defender. She claims that I have been harassing her, calling her at all hours of the night, harassing her children, etc. All which I have not done, and she had no proof of any of it.
I gave my story first, and then did not talk again at all. She gave her story, then the judge asked her a few questions. She lied a lot but I didn't respond to any of it.
After the judge was done she kept saying 'umm can I say one more thing' 'Ummm but if Danielle is so scared of me, she didn't seem to worried when I brought back their dog that I had been taking care of' I didn't say anything. It was obvious that the judge had heard enough. She interrupted him once and he said 'IT IS MY TURN'
At the end the judge said that 'the real problem here is YOU' and pointed at WH. OW tried passing WH off as her friend, but the judge said 'so, if your "friends" why do you live together? Do you and your FRIEND WH plan to get married?' She said 'yes' he just nodded.

The judge did not ask WH to talk, nor did he ask for his side of the story. WH just stood there looking stupid. You could tell that he was disgusted by him. When I mentioned that he was in the Navy the judge just looked at him like 'are you kidding me?'

It makes me mad. My WH looks like CRAP, acts like a JERK, and a CHILD, and this is NOT the man I married. When I look at him I just want to puke because I am so upset.

She was given a recognizance and bond to keep the peace in the amount of $2500 for one year. She can 'Have no contact direct or indirect person or property' She asked the judge if she could move out of state and he said 'please do' LOL

OWs H just sat there quietly.

After we walked out of the court room OW and OWs H went down to the clerks office to file the peace bond. WH stopped me and said 'so what is a peace bond?' I responded with 'didn't you hear the judge?' He then said 'Well just to let you know that I doubt there will be a case in March' (the cross complaints against me) I just ignored the comment. I am going to be there regardless of what he does or says.

Then in the line at the clerks office waiting to get the peace bond documents OW turns and sees me in line and starts throwing a fit with the clerk saying 'I don't feel comfortable with her in here, can't she wait outside' The clerk just looked at me and then her and said to her 'just worry about this please'
OWs H kept saying "Marci, could you stop?" Then WH said 'chill the heck out'
I was just standing there...thinking.....

I got my papers and walked out of the court house about 10 minutes after the three of them had left. As I walk out I see WHs truck pulled up to the front of the court house and OW was standing at his drivers window with sun glasses on (from crying) talking to him. She stood there the whole time even after I drove off.

So, WH had told me yesterday that he was coming to get his things tonight because OW was renting a U-Haul and moving to Indiana and she was going to bring his things. I told him to bring a police officer as a standby and he said 'forget it'. He hasn't shown up, so I forgot it. lol <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

So....she can not come here, or talk to me AT ALL. If she even TRIES she is in jail and owes $2500

One court date over, one to go. (if she shows up)
I have yet to call the in-laws and let them know what happened. I just want to close my eyes and make it go away!

Danielle

I'm just giggling with happiness for you, Dani. OW behaved like a total jerk (what's new?) and you came off as the class act that you are.

Judges are no dummies.

When he said "Please do," to the OW, well, that was just priceless. LOL!

Glad it went so well. Now, what were you worrying about, darlin'?

~ Snow

Dani,

Wonderful! That's pretty close to the way I was imagining the outcome, as long as you stayed cool. And you did! I loved the "Please do" comment from the judge.

Dobie

It did go really well.

I am just in a ****ty place emotionally.

My husband, is this evil person now. I can't swallow it.
I just can't believe where my life is. He isn't the same person, but I can't stop thinking or let go of who he was...

I just looked at his profile, which was updated on 2/10/05.
This is what it says:

Nickname: Nipple boy
Marital Status: Long-term Relationship
Hobbies: Spending time with loved ones. Hunting/Fishing. Working on my car and driving hard.
Latest News: Im out of a nightmare and into a dream as far as relationships go. I love you Marcy! You are the best!
"Baby, you make me cum so quick <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> or Im not cumming, Im just breathing really hard"

What would posess him to post that? Oh, I know, don't worry, to PISS ME OFF AND HURT ME. Yep, it worked. Thanks hon!!!

No matter how much I try to not think about him, or distance myself, I am constantly thinking about him. While I am sleeping, driving, shopping, eating, etc, I think of how he SHOULD be here, and how horrible our lives have become.

Sucks...
Danielle

Danigirl -

You really did well in court today. I'm so glad the judge saw OW and your WH as who they really are.

Please stop looking at their profiles. You're torturing yourself. Avoid doing things that you know will make you feel worse.

I know you need to mourn, and it's normal to be so sad, but are there things you could do to help yourself relax or possibly feel a little bit better? (Like listening to soothing music or praying.)

Do you have anyone to talk to, a girlfriend to be with? Could you talk to your mom on the phone?

God bless,

Rose

You did well. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> It couldn't have been easy for you, but you weren't left with practical alternatives either. WH and OW made the decision that landed them in court today. Not you. It wasn't your fault.

He's going to be looking for ways to irk you, because he's angry. Avoid interactions with him when possible. Stop looking at his posts. If he knows you're looking, he'll use them just to hurt your feelings. Step away from the chaos.

Atta Girl! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

So who paid the $2500? Hope is wasn't OW's H. Poor sap. Well if he keeps wanting to be there for her maybe the WS can sponge on him also. After all he is doing his w. YIKES!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

All in all, the OW didn't win. What she ended up with is a lot of refuse.

On the other hand, you did walk out with your dignity and didn't let them override you. While you don't have your H back, she only has the WS and that ain't much. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Take care Dani. I am very proud of how you handled yourself. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L.

Dani,

I got thinking about how it'll cost her $2500 to contact you. I feel honored that I can do it for free!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Dobie

Thanks Dobie. You put a smile on my face this morning! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I know that looking at WH and OWs profile will just hurt me, but for some reason I am compelled to do it. NO, I don;t like to be hurt. I am not sure why I look. His had said married, spending time with wife and kids up until 2/10 and I guess I had hopes that it would stay like that.

I just can't even believe the man he has become. Once in a while I see the Adam I married poke through, but lately he has been this evil, man who has lost his soul and is full of hate.

Honestly, even though I dream, I pray, I hope....
I see couples walking down the road and I imagine us reconciling one day and recovering our marriage and being so in love with each other. IN REALITY I just can't see it happening, at all. No matter what he does, he has hurt me so much, and done so much out of haste and with the goal of his actions being to hurt me...I can't see myself ever 'getting over it', even if he tried. I don't see him even trying though...He is so stuck on himself and his new found dream that I don't see him ever being 'himself again'. I think he is too far gone.....
It is sad, but I think at this point it is reality. He doesn't do things just for him, he does things to hurt me.
I seem to be accepting the reality of my relationship with him, but yet I hurt, I greave, I pain for the way it is. I mourn the marriage we had, and we should still be able to have.

I looked at the court access today and I was happy to see the GUILTY!
Since it is public I thought I would share <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Complainant:X, DANIELLE
Locality: VIRGINIA BEACH
Defendant: CICCI, MARCIA J
Defendant Status: Bail
Charge: DISTURB THE PEACE
Arrest Date: 01/25/05
Commonwealth 02 02/16/05 0200PM Finalized Plea: Not Guilty
Final Disposition: Guilty

Me vindictive? Nah, just hurt, trying to protect myself and my babies...
Full of hate? Sure...

Danielle

I see there was another complainant for the same time/complaint. Was this a neighbor?

((((((Danielle)))))))))))))

Couldn't have gone better. Well, maybe ..... too bad the custom of stocks and pillory are out of favor. Imagine --- you could set up a stand to sell rotten fruit for passersby to pitch at Marcia and her H and your stbxh, earn a little spending money to pay for gas for your car, for the dental bills, groceries, etc.

But the judge's words were priceless. Not to mention, since we weren't there, the expression on his face. It must have been really disgusted.

You deserve so much better. By the way, I lurked earlier on the Boards, and a pair of MBers have gotten engaged to each other. Can you imagine the wonderful marriage in their future? With all the tools they have gotten from the MB philosophy? Wow! Maybe something like THAT is in future for you as well. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Dani,

Can you email me at dobievsw@hotmail.com?

I'll delete my email after I know you have it.

Dobie

I noticed the engagement notice as well. How cool! It would be fantastic to start out a relationship when both partners are familiar with the MB concepts.

The expressions on the judge and officers face were something else! lol. When I said, 'my husband is in the Navy' He looked at him with pure disgust. When he asked OW if my WH was living with her, and she said 'huh?' like she didn't hear him, he asked her again, this time looking at her like she was a complete moron. Then when I she walked out, he looked at me and shook his head at them as they walked out. I just said 'Thank you Your Honor'
They made themselfs look just exactly how they behave without my help.

Dobie,
The website is a bit mixed up as far as charges for the cross complaint, but you were right as far as the other complainant. I called the court house and asked about the mix up but they just said the website is not always correct. (weird) The other person is the person I brought to court with me. She was there at the time of the incident and saw exactly what I saw, heard exactly what I heard and filed with me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> So of course, she got the cross complaints too. She is rather pissed to be involved in the drama, but supportive. Then again, who likes it? Her support is irreplaceable, although she thinks I should have divorced him the day I found out about his affair. The neighbor was unable to be there, but she WAS given a subpoena for the follow up trail against me, and she will be there for that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Other trial? If the OW is there...she is moving to Indiana right? and waht happened to moving to ME? I'm guessing she won't show, but just in case...

Yesterday was my case against OW for disturbing the peace.
Then she did a cross complaint after she was arrested for me for disturbing her peace and simple assult. ( I never touched her, and she was at MY home)
That case is 3/11/05.

WH said that she won't show up, but I am planning for her to, so I am ready if she does decide to show up.

OW and WH realized over Christmas that she is not welcome in Maine. So.....she is moving to Indiana to be with her sister, and WH plans to join her when he gets out of the Navy. Works for me, I wasn't looking forward to her coming to Maine.

At this point, the ONLY hope I see for POSSIBLE recovery is if I move to Maine with the kids and start my own life, and WH moves to Indiana with her and realizes that they have nothing to go on and nothing to build on and that he belongs in Maine with us. That is the only way I think he will realize. That is a big IF as well. I need to go to Maine and start my life regardless....

Danielle

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by DanigirlinVA:
<strong>....OW and WH realized over Christmas that she is not welcome in Maine. So.....she is moving to Indiana to be with her sister, and WH plans to join her when he gets out of the Navy. Works for me, I wasn't looking forward to her coming to Maine.....
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Don't you think the people of Indiana need to know an OW is coming to their fair state? LOL!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> just kidding.

So it took 2 months after Christmas for them to realize the OW wasn't welcomed in the whole state of Maine? Just how wonderful is this bundle of crap (ow)? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> WS is really getting a winner. Must be due to his losing a bunch of grey cells so he can't think clearly.

Oh well, you are doing well to move forward. Without the WS and accept back only your H, not this other character.

All the best,
L.