Caren,

What has the Xws done to convince you he is worth having back?

NOTE: Not said but done.

L.

Orchid-

I don't have an answer for this question. I mean, he's doing everything I asked......so I don't know what more I can ask.

-Caren

I'm sorry. The nightmare won't be over for a long while.

However, now hopefully, you can work on recovering from this tragedy as a team. My own FWH constantly says, "It's hard to beat the two of us working together".

This is such a tragedy for all of us here .....

Hang in there. Let us know how you are doing. Make sure to keep that "open book policy" going to prevent a false recovery.

He is not going to be happy. That's not to be expected at this point.

Mimi-

Thank you, I appreciate your input, that's what I figured, he's not going to be happy about it, but at least he's trying. I am still trying to be very understanding, and I know I can't OP bash no matter how much I want to....well, ya know, not for a while anyway.

We haven't discussed knowing where the other is and how they can be contacted 24/7, because we both have cell phones, so that would be how I would contact him. He's never been real big on *going out* even since we've been separated he's only gone out a few times, so with the exception of work, I really don't have any fear of OP contact. He doesn't work *with* her, but he works close, and that worries me, and I've talked to him about it. He said "I don't think you have to worry about that she's gonna hate my guts". I've also asked him if he's going to be able to handle the depression that may come with withdrawl.

He spent the night with me Saturday night, was at OW's house putting the ignition back together on the hot rod last night and took it to his house and called me by about 9:45 to tell me he was home.

I am going to start taking some things over to the house tonight, and I am also taking over dinner for us, he doesn't show any signs of wanting to back out of this, he's calling me a lot during the day (like he used to) just to see what I'm doing. I will most likely spend the night tonight, since DD10 doesn't have school tommorrow and he doesn't have to work until 1pm tommorrow. We're laughing and joking, have no problems in the SF department...so everything is looking okay.

-Caren

Sounds good. Keep in constant contact. We've been doing that for 18 months.

<small>[ March 21, 2005, 01:25 PM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>

Mimi-

I will keep in constant contact, I think I may have a bit of trouble over reading what he says....I'm good for that on GOOD days, pre-A days.

Today he 2wayed me, and said "Hey I found someplace for you to live, there's a trailer on the corner that says *free, just tow away*." I said "Oh, that's nice of you." He said "Yeah, I figure we could just put it out back by the garage....I'd give you conjugal visits and everything..(laughing)" I said "Wow, you will? That is awfully nice of you" He said "Yeah, that way if you ever want to leave, you can just drag this thing with ya" I said "yeah, but I want to drag you with me" He said "Nahhh I'm staying put" I just laughed. He was just being goofy, and I treated it light-heartedly (He kids this way all the time). But when he first said it my initial reaction was, my feelings were hurt, it was only momentary, and I know he was just kidding, (Albeit an insensitive thing to joke about)....I honestly believe he throws this sort of thing at me as a test.....to see if I'll flip out, so far....so good. I guess it was a good thing it was 2-way instead of on the phone, cause it took a sec to regain my composure and know that he was making an attempt at humour.

-Caren

Forgot to mention, when I stopped by his work after the doctor's office, (I told him I'd be stopping by) I was standing there talking to him, and guess who walked in and said "Hello" to his co-worker? Yes, you guessed it the OW. I heard her say "hello" immediately recognized her voice and turned around, DD10 also immediately turned around. She saw me too. I turned back around and looked at my Husband and said "Uh-huh" he just kinda shook his head and smiled (I'm sure he's smiling because he knows that I really just want to rip her face off...but remained calm.) As soon as she saw me, she got quiet, and walked out of the store, got into her car and left. She made no attempt to talk to my husband, and he looked when I turned around, but also made no attempt to talk to her either.

I kept talking in the same line I was before she walked in. It's not like I make my presence a secret when I go and visit there, I make sure I park in full view of her store, and walk up so that she'd be able to see if she was looking that direction.....I don't think she knew I was there...don't much care either. Oh I truly hope it pissed her off...LMAO. I want really badly to ask my husband if she called or came by and said anything, but I won't....he always says she doesn't say much about anything...I find it hard to believe...but okay.

He hasn't told his co-worker that we're moving back in together, and I don't purposly mention it when I'm there, but I don't try to hide it either. I know he hasn't said anything to him because of fear he'll mention it to her.

Anyway, I was actually kinda proud of myself. I handled myself in a dignified manner, I could have gotten loud, or made a derogatory comment loud enough for her to hear, but I didn't. I just went on talking like she had no effect on me whatsoever. It was actually kind of empowering.

-Caren

Caren -

Haven't seen you here since the boards came back online...

How are things?


TM