link to news item

I was discussing things like this with Meremortal ....

Sometimes a man (an unstable man) who is seeing another woman does not want his X to be with anyone else... to the point of violence.

Weird world.

Pep

I was watching Opera the other day and she was talking about the signs and stuff like that in cases where husbands have killed their wives for whatever reason.

It is very scary stuff. One of the cases she presented the wife survived but the kids did not. The W mentioned how he never presented signs of violence and it was just the perfect husband as far as attentions and how their relationship was.

VERY SCARY. I guess we just never know. Pray and hope for the best. My WH never been violent but seeing him so depressed and unlike him scares me more after seeing these things.

Love

Beyond uncivilized to being inhuman.

Sad and selfish. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Like terroism, what good is an A? Only promotes hatred, suffering and violence.

This is a sicko world.

JMHO,
L.

<small>[ February 22, 2005, 02:52 PM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>

Glad they got him in Texas... Something else Texans are good at <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

According to MSNBC just now, the murdered woman's boyfriend was married and was the father of the OC she was pregnant with. The woman had threatened to go to his wife and tell her what was up. The married man killed his pregnant OW (and her 7-year-old-son) so his wife would not find out.

I've seen other psychologists state that when men murder their wives or girlfrineds, it's usually because those women are about to rip down the elaborate web of lies the man has been living behind. This is what happened in the Scott Peterson and Mark Hacking cases, and it appears that that's what happened in this case, too.
Mulan

This brings up an interesting point.

Last week I watched the movie Secret Window , based on a Stephen King novel.

It was basically a repackaging of older movie themes to a younger audience.

Anyway, I found myself “rooting” for the BS in the story, even though he was doing horrible things.

Mimi brings up a good point: Do you think the dentist’s WH got what he deserved? Did it change your perception of the act?

Does it make it more justified?

And what if the dentist was a man and the role reversed. Would it change your feelings on the subject?

I’ll answer first just to be fair.

IMHO,

Dentist’s WH as road pizza doesn’t bother me as much because of the A.

However,

If the dentist were a man and flattened his WW I would not be as charitable.

Go figure! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

*** edited b/c I can't spell "as" ***

<small>[ February 22, 2005, 02:53 PM: Message edited by: robby13 ]</small>

And maybe if Lisa Underwood's friends hadn't been so wonderfully supportive of what she was doing, or had asked a few more pertinent questions, she'd be alive today.

***Mimi brings up a good point: Do you think the dentist’s WH got what he deserved? Did it change your perception of the act?***

Did he get what he deserved? Well . . . no, I don't think having an A should carry a death penalty. But do I understand how that wife felt? Oh, you bet.

I still think she was originally trying to hit the OW with the car, but the WH gallantly jumped in front to try to protect OW and the wife hit the WH instead. Then she kept driving around and running over WH since she was out of her mind with rage and couldn't get to OW. JMHO.
Mulan

In my case, I still wish I waited at the hotel until the OW left. He left her in the room and I left after he did.

Maybe it was a good thing. I was so crazy and enraged!!

I would have ended up in jail and would have never gotten a chance to meet you guys here on the forum.

A bit of chilling family history here.

My Aunt had an affair, she was about to leave my Uncle for OM, my Uncle shot her in the head, and then himself, neither of them survived.

The OM, is now my FIL. This all took place about 25 years ago. My H didn't know about the A, until he brought me home to meet his parents for the first time.

His dad never stopped talking about my family, asking me how everybody was, apparently they spent a ton of time together. I look quite a bit like my Aunt, and it brought his dad to tears.

When we left my H asked, how does he know all your family. I couldn't believe he didn't know anything.

All my H remembers is that his parents separated for a while and his dad was gone often. I was the one who broke it to him that his dad had an affair.

Now that we know so much about affairs we look at the situation differently. It is still awkward, my MIL, has a problem with my family, go figure, and my FIL talks about my Aunt often, always with tears in his eyes.

Affairs never have a happy ending, NEVER!!!

KY

WoW KY that's quite a story! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Pep

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Mulan said:
And maybe if Lisa Underwood's friends hadn't been so wonderfully supportive of what she was doing, or had asked a few more pertinent questions, she'd be alive today.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, I agree Mulan. Lisa's friends were giving her a baby shower. Imagine <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> A baby shower for a child that she conceived with a still married man actively cheating and deceiving his wife. With those kinds of friends ...

I don't think a friend should abandon another in hard times, however, there has to be a moral compass there. You have to call a spade a spade.

In passing, we don't know the whole story. Lisa made some bad choices all around with this OM. Perhaps even "accidently" getting pregnant to "seal the deal." Sickening I know.

People will never understand, that you don't ever really know the OP. You just know what they want you to know, and you just see the side they want you to see.

Poor girl, poor kids, poor betrayed wife. The misery wrecked upon those lives and the lives they intertwine with. All because of a selfish, self-serving adulturous affair. And that affair was continued on both sides, with both active participants in the destruction of a marriage and family.

I wonder if Lisa was like the OP's we see posting on the TOW boards?

just my 2 cents.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by love of a lifetime:
My WH never been violent but seeing him so depressed and unlike him scares me more after seeing these things.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Are there weapons in the home?

Pep

One of the things that always concerned me when I would read about someone needing to "expose" the affair was that if they told their WS before hand, that violence could erupt.

I feared that someone would be signing their death warrant when they "threatened" to do it. I would want to post and say "don't tell them you are going to do it...just do it".

The chances of something happening after the exposure would have to be less likely. A desperate man, that is abusive to begin with, might not think twice about doing something like that.

How sad...and how terrifying.

committed

I'm waiting for more details to come out on this. One news report says the man only got married this past December. I wonder if Lisa considered his wife to be an OW?

It's strange that Lisa's friends did not seem to know who her boyfriend/baby's daddy was. I got the impression that they did not know about her relationship with him. And he was certainly determined that his other girlfriend/now wife was NOT going to know about Lisa and the baby.

Oh well . . . I'm sure it'll all come out eventually. But yes, it is a cautionary tale. Do not ever *threaten* to expose an affair whether you are BS or OP. Just do it. Once done, it's less likely something bad will happen to you.
Mulan

yes - expose ASAP - don't discuss that maybe you will be exposing the affair with your WS or the OP. It's not likely they are going to agree that you should expose anyway. Just do it.

This guy killed his girlfriend to keep his wife from finding out. Yes, he would have been furious at the girlfriend if she had already exposed to the wife, but most likely she would still be alive. And as to the the reason the girlfriend's own friends weren't sure who the father of the baby was... maybe the girlfriend had been pressured by him to keep quiet?

IMHO exposure should happen ASAP, ESPECIALLY if you have already discussed exposure with the adulterer! Once you know about it, and the adulterer(s) know you know, you should consider yourself at risk. Once you expose, you are safer because the people you exposed to would know who the prime suspect(s) would be should they do anything to you.

"Ex-boyfriend held in killings of woman, son
Police say motive was to keep wife from learning of affair"

A death sentence by the State would be too good for this monster.

Please, please, please any bleeding hearts preaching forgiveness, make your case. Go ahead - pray for this monster and tell him he can still be "saved." Go ahead - make my day.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />