Well I called the command, talked to the CMC, talked to the CO, talked to the bank..
The commmand said he is getting out of the navy in 14 days, and there is nothing they can do.
And the bottom line is they are moving the money back to my WH.

I am sitting here, crying my eyes out. I just feel like dying.

He just left me a message saying that he doesn't owe me anything and the fact that I took the money isn't going to look good in court, and his loans didn't get paid, and I am putting him between a rock and a hard place because he has no money to move to Maine, I don't respect him and he does everything for me.

I can't handle it...
I want him to love him...I want to have money to support my children...
I hate this life...

Danielle

<small>[ March 16, 2005, 10:23 AM: Message edited by: DanigirlinVA ]</small>

Dani, I have been lurking here for quite a while, and have been following your story. I, too, am a Navy wife. I just want to pass along some encouragement. Don't let this guy get you down. He's screwing you out of the things you NEED for your kids, so he can finance his affair. Keep fighting, and keep calling the CMC, and get an attorney. Don't let him win. And keep us posted. There are a lot of people here who care about you, and your kids, and wish for a good outcome for you. (((HUGS)))

Dani, I have been lurking here for quite a while, and have been following your story. I, too, am a Navy wife. I just want to pass along some encouragement. Don't let this guy get you down. He's screwing you out of the things you NEED for your kids, so he can finance his affair. Keep fighting, and keep calling the CMC, and get an attorney. Don't let him win. And keep us posted. There are a lot of people here who care about you, and your kids, and wish for a good outcome for you. (((HUGS)))

Dani, I have been lurking here for quite a while, and have been following your story. I, too, am a Navy wife. I just want to pass along some encouragement. Don't let this guy get you down. He's screwing you out of the things you NEED for your kids, so he can finance his affair. Keep fighting, and keep calling the CMC, and get an attorney. Don't let him win. And keep us posted. There are a lot of people here who care about you, and your kids, and wish for a good outcome for you. (((HUGS)))

Danigirl-

It's awful that the Navy isn't helping you with the money situation. It's unfortunate that you don't have an attorney where you live now, but since you plan to get one in Maine, do so as soon as you get there.

There is no doubt he or she can help you get the child support and alimony all figured out, and take the legal action necessary to obtain them.

Meanwhile conserve your energy for taking care of your children and getting packed. Moving is quite an ordeal. Hopefully things will be at least a little bit easier for you once you are back near your family. Hang in there.

God bless,

Rose

Well I just took a call from WH? Should I have? Good question. If he gives me the money, then it was worth it.

He thinks he owes me $0. I think he owes me $1031 (the monthly BAH that he was ordered to pay).He agreed to transfer me $700. Will he? We will see.

Said he can't give me money because he is moving TO MAINE ON APRIL 1st WITH THE OW AND HER KIDS! I can't get away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Told me that he wants the kids, and he keeps looking forward to spending weeks with them, and it is inevitable that the OW be with them so 'just get over it'

So....I have 14 days left in VA, he has 14 days left in the Navy, and then we will meet again in Maine. Heck with that, I want to stay in VA now....

STOP FOLLOWING ME AROUND WITH THE OW!!!!!!!!!

Danielle

He DOES owe you money. BAH is an allowance given to the servicemember FOR THE SUPPORT OF THEIR DEPENDENTS - which is you and the kids - not their own personal use. (Which is why single members do not get BAH - they live under Uncle Sam's roof). If I was you, I'd be completely livid. You don't owe him a dime, he owes you the BAH he's been stealing from you since he left. I just hope you can get it back. Make sure to advise the attorney of all this.

Well he transfered $200. More then I expected, less then he said he would.
I really just wish he would fall off the face of the earth and I would never have to hear of him again.

Peach, I will be letting a lawyer know. I contacted both of the legal aid places in Maine today, and they are both going to contact me back tomorrow.

Danielle

dani...

I'm gonna ask you a question that is not a fair solution and most likely not gonna make you feel better...

but is there any other route you can go for the money..

your family
his family..
and cut his chaotic word crap out of your life..so that at the moment that YOU aren't dependant on him for the money..
and WHEN he comes through you pay back whomever it is you borrowed from>

it's not fair..
but it releases you from his #$%^$#$#$#$ BS

ark

Ark..
You are correct, it isn't fair, right or just....but it is the truth. I can't count on him. I need to sometimes remind myself of that. I should be able to, but I can't.
When I get home I will have family to help, so I am hoping things change then.


I am at the point that I wish he would fall off the face of the earth, that I would never again have to see him, hear of him, think of him, nothing. I wish he would just move to Africa...
He contines to remind me that we will be in eachothers lives for the next 16 years to some extent. I dread (enough that it makes me physically ill) the thought of fighting for custody with him. It is a battle that makes me ill...with fear. Between the OW having visitation and him trying to 'get the kids'. AHHHHH!
He begs me to 'leave him alone' but yet he is following me to Maine...give me a break!!!
Danielle

Dani,

I am glad you have started the search for some legal help. You can lay of this in the lawyers lap now and it will take some of the pressure off of you.

Is it possible he`s moving to Maine to stay in close contact with the kids? He right on one point..he is their father and he will be in your life to a certain extent until they are grown.

But this doesn`t mean you will go through another 16 years of h*ll...once the lawyers/courts get involved they will do the negotiating for you. Let them deal with the craziness...

So far the courts have sided with you right??? The judges know the score. Judges are very intelligent people and they will cut through the crap to make sure you are treated fairly.

Good for you, Dani! I'm glad you are checking into an attorney. And don't worry about them giving him custody, there's only a very slim chance after the judge finds out he's been catting around with some other woman, and withholding your monetary entitlements that the government gives him for you and the kids. I'm going to keep you in my prayers, and hope this turns out as well as possible for you and the little ones.

Don't think about him being in your life for 16 years now. He may not be. He strikes me as the kind who is likely to disappear in a year or two. His feelings for the kids are sporadic and unreliable. Rather like his feelings for you. Since he is being run on feelings, not commitments, who knows where he will wind up.