</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> i am just trying to find a way for a happy solution to this.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That right there is the problem...there IS no happy solution. There's the right thing to do, and the wrong thing to do..but happy solution sailed a long time ago.

I also don't see that your H has chosen not to have contact with this child to protect his marriage, I'm reading he is concerned about social status.

These are all the WRONG reasons to make these types of decisions.

newjerseybetrayed. i was in denial about alot of this untill those papers came from the solicitor yesterday. for that i admit. my dh and i swept this away and hoped it would go away. it didnt obviosuly. i understand that you dont agree with me but even if my dh makes the money to pay support, why is it ok for others to lower their support, but we can't. there is a double standards you are using against me here. my dh thinks the cs award would be nearly 1500.00 monthly based on our taxes filed over some years past. that money out ofour income would be devestating to our children and lifestyle we live. i think you are a very angry woman who is taking out your anger on me. do you have another child, or does your dh have one? i am sorry i do not know your histories. i still appreciate your advice to me. thank you for your posting to me. i am very much obliged. i wonder why you don't judge other women in the other posts for doing what i am doing when they wanted to lower cs paid by dh to the ow. this is wrong that you support them and make excuses for them,,yet you judge me. i want to build my marriage up so that this doesnt happen to me again. this site it a blessing. i think you are a very angry, bitter woman and i will pray for you tonight. you must be very troubled. i do understand sweetie, i do. these are hard crosses we bear.

maria

Hey Bij,

Even if Maria is married to Donald Trump, it still hurts to have your husband sleep with another woman.

And not speaking from having bags of money around (I wish) but it can suck when the BS losses things or dignity or stuff because of their spouse's selfish choices.

I hated the fact personally that many of my husband's friends knew about him flirting around and felt humiliated for some reason.

Maria,
This isn't your fault. So I am gathering that you were served yesterday. Okay that can be scarry. But just remember to breath.

I don't know about the seperation idea. I suppose it could work but I am not sure why you would want to do that. Wouldn't you then have the added money to spend on another place to live instead of child support? Guess I don't see the point in that. And I would bet money that the pregnancy board would be much more knowledgable about that than us. More experience.

Hugs hon

Tiggy

thank you tiggy for your support and also thank you betryaed for offering me opinions. the other opinions that i dont like hurt me, but i know that i need to here them.

tiggy, you are a wonderful woman filled with compassion. thank you for posting to me tonight.

maria

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> i think you are a very angry, bitter woman and i will pray for you tonight. you must be very troubled </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, pray for ME.

You are in deep deep transference.

You keep skirting the issue.

It's not a double standard.

IF YOU CAN AFFORD THE STATE ORDERED CS, THAT IS ALL THAT HAS TO BE SAID.

And to quench your curiosity, no I don't have OC, I'm not an OW, and my DH doesn't have OC. I'm certainly not a bitter woman, and I'm certainly not troubled.

I'm bitter ?

What do you need ?

SUPPORT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE, OR ADVICE ABOUT CS ?

YOU TELL ME.

Maria, I think your best bet would be to contact an attorney as soon as possible. While you do have to pay child support, you also have your own children to support and protect so I can understand your concerns. But this board is not set up to help you with legal advice.

We can and will give you all the moral support you need.

But please contact a good attorney first thing Monday and see what he says. God Bless you, Maria, I am so sorry you are in this situation.

I just dont think you truly get the impact of this and what you and your H are trying to do...You are trying to hide assests, and run from something you cant run from...

Unless they are in a state where whoever files first (the OW or the BS) will get more support...but I dont believe anyone would support it the way you think they are...they may be saying that they need to file a legal seperation so they can file for child support to protect their family and to prevent the OW from getting MORE money than they will...

I dont think anyone has supported anyone to hide assets to lower child support! Where are you reading this? Can you link the thread?

$1500 is a HUGE chunk of change...The reason I am asking what state you are from is because some states do offer more child support to whoever files first...and some states it doesn't matter who files first, the court will look at all children involved!

Maria,

Do you know how to search for things on the web? I really think that would be a good idea for you since it is Saturday and unlikely that you will be able to talk to an attorney before Monday. That would seem like a lifetime to me, personally.

Just go to google and type in your state then + child support and see if something comes up. Your state may have an online calculator to figure out the child support. I know mine has one. Check it out. Get a big box of tissuue and give yourself a hug. Chocolate doesn't hurt either. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Bij is a good woman with wonderful advice. I have read her wrong myself,recently as a matter of fact. Sometimes our meaning gets lost in print form you know what I mean.

Hugs to you and Bij,
Tiggy

The $1500 is determined by your monthly income...do you know most people in this country dont even MAKE $1500 a month...If that is what is determined then your H can certaintly afford it! goodness gracious...if he was so worried about his darn money he should have kept his thing in his pants!

sorry...I think it is time to bail on this one...UGH!