Thanks Octobergirl. I appreciate it and will as I continue to evolve out of my shell.

MC, what decision have you made about this relationship? I don't understand what is going on here with all this talk of "exclusiivity?" What is that supposed to mean?

Y'all are acting someone who had a fight

And I would agree with OG, all the "love" in the world won't compensate for a lack of respect or a lack of committment. And the truth is that she is not marriage material and is not committed to you. She has fooled around in the past, is probably doing it now and will do it in the future. RUN, MC!

Just read your sitch. Wondering how you have been doing. Hope all is well.

MC, my name is Bellevue. I named myself after the infamous loony bin in New York. Guess why? Yep. My H had an EA and we went through all the stages every other couple does during infidelity. I had no inkling before we married and had our son that he was capable of such cruelty.

It will not get better if you reconcile. I know you miss her, that it hurts like heck. It will hurt for a very long time. The stuff about her friendship with the OM being private, about you just having to put up with it because she will not abandon that friend, WS script.

You have pulled the rug out from under her MC. Having you in the wings enabled her affair. There is probably an element of her being somewhat "unattainable" to the OM due to her being engaged to you. They both have the steady guy who keeps them from being totally involved with each other.

In some ways, the OM competes with your relationship with her. You were a triangle. Now you have pulled out. Their relationship can't exist as a diad. It needed the third leg to hold it up.

Some people just can't have a one-on-one relationship. It's just not in their makeup. They need the secrecy, the deception, to feel alive. So she loves you. So what. You aren't a match.

You can't imagine the hurt you have avoided by breaking off with her. Don't volunteer to be a victim. The right woman will adore you. ((((((((((MC))))))))))