Yeah, but it's tempting, innit?

Getting Stronger. My father in law made some similar mistakes. He divorced his wife and left three girls. One my wife. He married a younger woman and fathered two more children. Essentially the same age as my oldest son. (His aunt and uncle). Years later, he told his two oldest daughters, he should never have divorced their mother, and that you have the same problems in every marriage. He made a terrible mistake (his ex-wife helped) and scarred several lives. Eventually he may realize his error. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

GS, I offer this for what it's worth.

When my XW married the man she "wasn't having an affair with" (her former best friend's husband and pallbearer for our deceased son) I actually felt a huge sense of relief.

It was pretty much all the proof any one still needed that they were both nut cases.

Proof: why get married if being married didn't mean anything to them before?

What's the logic of that?

Stay the high road.

Yeah, A.M.'s got some personal experience there...OW and WH have gotten 'married' already...is your D final yet?

Nope. And I wasn't even trying to screw things up. They did it all by themselves.

<small>[ March 14, 2005, 12:06 PM: Message edited by: A.M.Martin ]</small>

Cut all ties with your STBXH ASAP... coz your H is stepping into a world of debt /hurt / crazyness ....

Just stay clear ... his 'new life' with his 'new wife' has DISASTER written all over it.

Keep your fingerprints off anything having to do with this.

It's going to get real ugly real fast.

I (almost) feel sorry for him .... but not quite.

Head high .... you are in the clear .... except you may be a witness to something really really really bad in a few months.

ugh .... nursing another woman's baby in front of party-goers .... lookout she's a nutty woman with no sense <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Pep

It took me a while to get thru all the double posts by Tree and JP! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I am so sorry for this! I agree, she is really putting on the pressure here! The day AFTER your D is final! WOW! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I haven't posted in weeks - put myself on lurker status.
But I had to respond, as I see others have as well. You sound like me. I have said these same words:
"I have to take the high road.
I know he is digging a deep hole, and it pains me to watch him.
I know he was bored the past 6 months."
And, finally, you know that you will be better, and just need help getting though it right now. Good for you.

I just want to add one thing - when you see behavior like this (they sent out invitations 2 months in advance. Why? Why not send them out a month in advance? Whats the hurry?For that matter, why have a big wedding?) This type of over the edge weirdness is further proof that the R won't last. It is sad. You all ready know the end of the story,and just have to watch him dig the hole deeper.

My ex never did marry the OW. She kicked him out soon after our D was final. He dated several internet women for awhile. Then he called me one day to tell me he had "hooked up with" a friend of mine. She was married at the time. She has since D her H, and she lives with my ex now. They talk of marriage, but no date as of yet. Very sad, I do not think this R will last either.

On a much happier note - I am truly enjoying my life now! I still remeber the months of crying, not eating, worrying about what would become of my WxH who was clearly heading down a destructive path. I remember all that - but it no longer consumes me. I hold my head high. I always took the high road, and I am so glad I did. My M ended in D - but that does not mean that I failed.

One other thing you said that was exactly like me siutaiton - you said that your H is involved in all her Drama. Bingo! I think they get to a point where they no longer feel "needed" so they look for someone who is WAY neededy. with lots of drama. They confuse the Drama with Passion. it isn't passion. It is just drama.

I look back now, and realize that my WXH always looked for drama. He always wanted to hear everyones gossip.
If he had a headache, he thought it was a stroke. If I said "Could you please throw your dirt sox in the bathroom instead of leaving them in the living room" he would say that I had accused him of beiing "the worst husband in the whole world, and there were plenty of women out there who would appreciate him."\
Honestly, i never accused him of being a horrible H. I am the most even tempered person you could meet. I always figured that my level headedness was a good match for his constant drama. Turns out that he though my level headedness was jsut a lack of passion.

Turns out, he was wrong.

I feel sorry for him. But he is no longer my issue.

I am recently re-married. The man I am married to now amazes me daily. I feel safe, protected, and loved every day. I pray I never take that for granted.

Woman - you sound like a very strong and kind human being. I'm glad you were able to get through the dark days and find a new, happy life for yourself! It's ironic that the OW convinced my H that I had no passion because I don't raise my voice and have fights. I speak my mind without question - I just don't scream and won't allow anyone to scream at me. There are better ways to communicate. I do so hope that you're right in saying they won't last. Again, regardless of my moving on (and I feel that I am), it would give me great pleasure to know that they both finally had to confront the damage and destruction they wreaked... for nothing. For something that never really existed outside of a fantasy world. Time will tell. As another poster said, a woman who breastfeeds someone else's kid at a party in front of people and thinks it's cool (despite the mother walking in and being appalled) is a sicko. No doubt about it. Thanks again for the words of kindness. They are helping me get through these difficult days...

Well, I just got back from a counseling session and actually feel a bit better. My heart is hardening a bit, which is sad but necessary. I cannot believe that he is marrying that crazy woman before the rigamortis on our divorce papers sets in! It just shows that he's not the man I loved or knew. I only hope that one day, when chaos is surrounding his new relationship and life, that he realizes what he has left behind... and cries.