Mel is right LM......we love ya!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

It doesn't matter that I have misunderstood you in the past......the fact is, you are usually right on!

However, this time, I would like to prove you (but mostly myself) wrong. I have taken a "real" look at my situation, and I think that there has got to be more to life than this mess.

It's not the life I chose, and I am NOT going to live a life someone else has chosen for me by their independant decisions......like a WH.

But, and I'm serious here, without your views about what is going on in my situation, I would not have taken that close a look at what is REALLY going on here.

And I got to say, I don't like what I see. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

So, LM, if you are the catalyst, you're a darn good one! Your straight forward, no frills views are highly appreciated. NO LIE!!!

And MereMortal.....I am not going to send that letter. I will put it away with all of the other pieces of information that I have collected from my situation.

I agree.....if WH doesn't "want" to do this (and clearly he doesn't want to do much), then he can sit alone, or with his "wonderful, moral, good" OW and rot.

He's lost his world....my world continues to grow in self respect, and PEACE! I love the peace.

Thanks guys.

K <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by k72172:
<strong>
I'm thinking.....WHATEVER!

What do you all think I should do with this NC letter?

K </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OHMIGOSH! I can't believe he did that! I would toss that baby. What does it say, K?

I agree with you that it is not sincere and is only meant to manipulate you. sigh...

Say K..

Can I thread jack you a minute? You said you were into interior design as a hobby? I was wondering if you could answer a Q for me.

Noodle

Hi Mel....

This is long......the NC letter, and the e-mail WH sent to me the day he was writing the NC letter.

"I tried to contact you for help with the letter to OW. I couldn't find
anything in marriage builders as a guide so I wrote what I felt what I thought
you would want. I'm sorry for that but I have written this letter and it has
to be ok. It's harsh but I am still doing it for you and I. I have really
been trying to be what you want me to be and you have given me no help to make
this happen. I feel like you are trying to be as mean to me as you can about
this and I am really struggling and not for OW but for the love of my wife.
If I can't see any support from you in helping me get there then you don't
want me. If I don't see something positive pretty soon from you in my honest
effort then I am assuming that you don't care about me. You, honestly (swear by
the name of God) have your old husband back in front of you. I am yours
completely soul and mind but I need to know that you want me. I am trying to do
everything you ask to get our marriage back and the only reward I feel like I'm
getting is snubbed. I'm not trying to manipulate you but if you love me then
show me by excepting what I'm trying to do. I have re-found the love that I
have always had for you and I have so many good things to give you and our
marriage. I will love you forever and be the best husband I can be but I need the
same back and right now I feel useless. I would have written this letter a
week ago if I knew that's what you wanted. We haven't talked about this for a
while. It's the same thing that has always hurt our marriage and that is
lack-of-communication. I want to come home and start our new life together but it
takes two. You are missing out on something really great.

Love, WH"

And here is the NC letter....

"I am writing this letter to follow up with our last conversation of my
breaking our relationship off for good. My wife does not believe me when I said
that I broke off our relationship. I am totally in love with my wife and I am
going to make my marriage work. I have hurt my wife and family to a point where
scars are permanent and will never fully heal. This means that no contact
will ever come between you and I ever again. If there is ever a problem of
making sure this happens I will quit my job and go somewhere else.

WH "

He says if he KNEW that I wanted this letter written a week ago, he would have written it. Obviously he did not read the Plan B letter.

And he thinks I'm being HARSH!!!!

Some of this is almost laughable....if it wasn't so sad.

K

Noodle.....

Be glad to answer any question you want....SHOOT!

K

K,

The plan B letter is pretty wishy washy..he should be willing to be at least as ruthless with her as with you, no?

He also should be leaving his work as a good faith NC example, not a worst case scenario..you know..one of many that he can make over a period of months as he proves his sincerity and value to you.

Noodle

It looks like (in the e-mail he sent) that he isn't going to wait very long for me to "show him some support" in his efforts....WTF!!!

And he also thinks I'm being as mean as I can be......again, WTF????

So, OT, noodle....what's your Q?

K

About that question <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

H and I have very specific taste in furniture..but we don't know what to *call* it..so we sort of just have to trip over something we like and point helplessly trying to describe it. It'd be more efficient if we had a reference.

So here's my best description..think british occupation of India..dark woods.marble tops..slight island affect with such things as pineapple carvings on bedposts..rich color palette..ceiling to floor bookshelves..tapestry upholstry.


<img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Look at the Ernest Hemingway Collection from Thomasville. And British Classics from Ethan Allen.

I think you'll find your style. I love it!

K <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Perfect K! Thanks so much from us both!

Noodle

K,

IMHO, it w/b ok to acknowledge his advancements. Again stress that you need t/b cautious due to his previous conduct leaves you feeling very skeptical. As your H he should understand that. The drama and trauma he caused will take a while for you to get over. So either he learn more patience or it may not be worth working on.

He is still in the give me mode..... he needs to step off that train and learn what it is really like to give a helping hand without expecting t/b paid. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

If it is easier to just let him read this, go ahead and share it with him. It may interest him to know that other WS try the same thing and it is up to the BS to make sure they don't get the wool pulled over their eyes again.

If it is easier, ask him would he believe it if he were in your shoes?

L.

Hi k,
just wanted to know if you are in the new forum yet????
How are you????? I've been thinking about yu alot!
Please give us an update asap!!!!
bb

hi k <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Computer is fixed finally!! Not too thrilled that I had to get a new password and the system assigned me something pretty close to bigbutt LOL.

k, I don't see anything solid in your WH's words and I see nothing different in his actions. You know what that means right? One of the things that means is that you need to stay the course of YOUR words and actions being solid and consistent.

You'll do it k, and I hope WH learns how to do it from you.

Take care