EC - As you know, all state divorce laws are different. Once the "court date is in the mail in 2 weeks", what does that mean for you? Will you be able to finalize the fact that you overpaid CS and will get a refund? I know you want all this behind you, and I hope you hear from your daughters real soon. They'll be blown away by your gift!

Petvet - I would let the bike slide for a little while...but at some point, maybe in the spring, borrow a bike for yourself (if you don't have one) and the two of you do some father/son biking around the parks in that area. Pack a picnic or take snacks, that will make it more fun too; it would be a great adventure for you to share. I have two options for New Year's Eve...one is to go to a fun night at church, the other is to stay home and "nest" by watching a video or something. I know I'll probably be too tired to stay up til midnight. But I'm not sure what I want to do. What are your plans?

Relady - Thanks for the mail exchange. Now your name makes PERFECT sense. Couldn't figure it out - wondered if you were a lady, again. RE = real estate.. Duh! You do need to follow your own advice - don't snoop, it only brings heartache.

Wallace - I am as surprised as Relady about the pants! Gee, maybe they do things different west of the Mississippi...but over here, in the genteel south, we only give clothing, especially pants, to members of the opposite sex who we are VERY, VERY familiar with. It's great that your OD came over for the gift exchange. Hopefully that's a good sign about your relationship with her. How are things with her living situation?

Dave, RMA , are y'all AWOL??? How were the holidays? I hope no news is good news!

Hi Wallace - Geez I guess she's all into ya bud, Pants and shirts for gifts and a book? I guess the next step for you is a little celery and carrots and you're in the oven, hey she knows how to prepare you.

Remember what I said, if a woman buys you clothes she must thinks you'll look nice in them, she knows what she doing, her eyes are on you, even if the pants are black and flooding and wearing white socks, where them anyway if you look bad she'll see it, but still keep your taste.

Relady - Hope all is going well for you. Renewing the mind is a vital key to recovery, I've gone forward then sometimes backwards. It's amazing I look back where I was in late 2000 to think how far I've come since then was the greatest Christmas gifts I could have ever gotten, I had to stop and reflect back and I just begin to thank the Lord for all that he's done. Adversity is the wind that swirls behind you and pushes into you destiny and blessings, just keep walking it gets rough sometime but the Lord is bringing you into something far above what you could ever imagine.

Ps 66

10 For thou, O God, hast proved us: thou hast tried us, as silver is tried. 11 Thou broughtest us into the net; thou laidst affliction upon our loins. 12 Thou hast caused men to ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water: but thou broughtest us out into a wealthy place.

Hi Avondale - Caught you in crossing, having a court date, yes, that will mean things will be final, the DV was final in May 2002. This court date will show I overpaid, I'm sure what they'll do is probably either stop CS early and let it all balance out rather than have her pay it all back so I'm not going to get my hopes up for any money in return. The amount by then should be about $5,000 overpaid.

Hi everyone, sounds like everyone had a good Christmas. I am still off work, 2 week plant closing for the holidays, it has been nice to spend this time with W and kids. Not too much new here, had a good Christmas but it was a major trigger for me as I spent last year with just kids, next year will be better.
Take care,
Dave

Hi all!

EC: I am happy that you may be able to put your situation behind you. I hope the court will grant you a refund; it's only fair. It's good to have a friend who you can relate to regardless of gender. You are better able to gauge the relationship better than anyone. Take it whereever it will go as long as that's what the both of you want.

Wallace: I'm not surprise. I guess that this means that she was cheating on the other guy as well, right? I applaud your OD actions.

Avondale: I am going to the Big Easy to celebrate the Sugar Bowl with the Bulldogs tonight and tommorrow. I have received numerous jokes about the $10 for assembly compared to all the trouble I have gone through with the bike.

Relady: I understand. You appear to be handling things much better than I did about a year ago. I wish you well on your journey because it is a long road we all have to travel going through this mess in our lives.

I wish everyone a Happy New Year. Go Dogs!

Later.

Hi All,

Well I had a nice long post to everyone and the "MBers Gremlins" wiped it out. So I'll give you the short version.

Petvet...

Going to the Sugar Bowl? Go Dogs!

Your right exW was cheating on both of us... So does that mean if she marries him and I go out and have an "A" with her... will I be the OM?

Ugh!!! I must be losing it, spare me the thought... LOL.

Dave...

Sorry to hear about your major trigger going off on you... next year will be better, just keep up the good work and it will be.

relady and avondale...

I'm glad that I'm talking with my OD now. My "lady friend" and my YD played a big part in getting us together for X-mas. Had it not been for them... my stubborn self would still not be speaking to my OD.

My OD says that her and her b/f are doing fine, and they are getting along well. They are still in the early stages though... so we will see how it all pans out.

I think the only reason why my "lady friend" bought me pants for X-mas was because she was tired of seeing me run around in my Scottish kilts... LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Pant size came courtesy of my YD telling her my size. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

EC...

I think you are right on the money. She is dressing me up to what she thinks I will look good in. I think the oven is on broil... j/k.

I believe that you have the right idea about your CS issue. They will probably just credit your account and change the difference somewhere along the lines of any future payments.

WGTT...

How was your MBers trip? Did you go to N.Y. City?

RMA...

Was Santa good to you this year? When you get a chance... let us know how your doing.

Hope I didn't forget anyone.

Have a safe and "Happy New Year"!

Stay Strong!

Wallace

To All,

Happy New Year!!! Good morning, friends. I have not been on the computer very much during the holidays. I am resolving to not be on the computer daily, and so far have done that. There is only so much time per day, and I am shifting towards other things - more time with guy friend and exercising. I have let myself "go" in a sense. 4 years ago, I was in tiptop shape - having just attained my second degree black belt. The revelation of the affair and the eventual divorce left me emotionally and physically listless, and I 100% stopped all exercise. I have lost most of my muscle strength. I am not fat, just out of shape for me. One of my resolutions is to get back into better shape by doing some form of exercising on a regular basis. My fav is walking, so I have begun to treadmill almost every day. Something has to give, so it is my computer time. I hope4 you can understand. I am not giving this up, but will not be here as much at all.

This thread has been great. It has been as helpful to me as it has been to each of you. I have grown and strengthened myself as I have had to dig within myself to offer some compassion and "pearls of wisdom" to each of you. What I love most about this thread is the evolution of each person who has posted here. Many have come on board and the thread has evolved from Petvet and me with the occasional odd posting from others, to a close-knit group of friends who have shared their daily ups and downs. What a blessing we have each been to one another!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Gosh, I love all of you guys! You know, hope does ENDURE. No matter where you are in life, you know that troubles will come and go. Hard to even think about that when things are going really well....we expect the good times to go on forever, don't we??? Even harder to remember that when the bad times are upon us. We seem to become engulfed by our lowest and darkest times. But like all. things in life, there is a season and a cycle.....we do not live static lives. We change and our circumstances change. Life is about change.

You guys have shown the courage to stand up and face the changes.....changes you didn't even want. You are enduring and are adapting. You all inspire me!!!! You are the kind of people I am proud to have as friends!!!

I am not leaving, just sitting back and focusing on some other things. See, I am ever-changing myself! I will continue to check in on you periodically, but not daily. If I have something to add, I'll post it. You are all in good hands....you have your faith to sustain and guide you and each other to help with those little "reality checks" we all need.

Keep the faith, friends. After all, our faith is really the engine that fuels everything else! Wishes for health and happiness to each of you for 2003!!!!!

RMA

Happy 2003 everyone!

I pray this year brings blessings to all of us. This week will be the 6 month mark for my separation. Here in NC there is a year's wait before one can file for Divorce. Only God knows what is in store for me in the summer of 2003. My only actions have been reactions to what H does. He has indicated he wants divorce; we'll have to see. I know a lot can happen in six months, one way or the other. I never, in my WILDEST dreams, thought I'd be walking the path I am right now.

RMA, I am going to miss you. You were one of the original people who replied to Petvet's post and stayed with it, providing wisdom all along the way. Good for you for changing your priorities!

Catch y'all later...

Hi Gang! Happy New Years!

Hey my YD just called and was so excited to talk to me, it was great, OD was sleep so I didn't get to talk to her.

YD told me something that just floored me, she said she's going to try to test out of HS early in her SR year this fall 2003, she's a JR right now. She said she wants to come live with me!!, I was like what?? Did I hear you correctly?..I said studdering in shock, I said " Well things will be different and much better for you here than it is there. I said I'll make sure you have the things you need and you won't have to face all the financial struggle you've seen in the past 2 years as you seen there" She said, yes, I know....

I am so excited, I was shaken when I got off the phone.....

What this means to me is YD been meditating and planning how she can get here with me at the right time, she said, "I'll be so glad when I get out this highschool", she just started about a month ago. At the end of her JR year she will only have 2 credits to obtain. She's ready to get on with her career as a baby DR. She wants to attend a community college work program while still in HS, I said ok I'll look around here also. She don't plan attending HS in SR yr 2nd semister, she wants out. It may happen before fall who knows, something is happening in her heart and she's seeing something in living with exw. She's ready to get out of that house. To me It sounded like she has lost respect for exw based on these sounds in her voice she was making when talking about certain things...I was like wow!

I told her about the PC she was excited. I asked her about what address to send it to she gave me there address, I said asked your mom first but she didn't. I told YD about the family get together spring break, she sounded interested we'll see on that.

We had a funny moment, we were talking and she said she got me a gift and also one for her BF, I said what are you doing with a BF? She responded laughing, Dad I'm 17 going on 18 come on, I said oh that's right smiling...WW put me out of her life when she just turned 15 I haven't caught up yet with her maturity and age, but she says she's focused and nothing serious with BF.

Exw in background said Merry Christmas, Happy New Year to me, I was surprized.

Anyway I was happy to talk to YD, I hope OD will start coming around eventhough they're 1,200 miles away.

Take Care

Happy 2003 All,

RMA

I'm sorry to see you go, however; I'm sure you'll be checking in on us periodically to make sure we're on the right track. Life and things do change. After you have dealt with the 'necessity laid at your feet', it's time to move on. Made God Bless you richly.

Avondale

It will be six months for me next week as well. There is no waiting period here to get a divorce, however; after filing there is a 6 month waiting period before it becomes final. For someone who threatened divorce most of our married life, I thought my H would have filed by now!.

I hope you had a wonderful New Years.

EC

I'm glad to hear the good news about your YD, and like I've said, she will be the one to pave the way for your OD. Pretty soon they will both want the better life. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Me

I had a wonderful New Years Eve. I cried some, not very much. I decided to leave all the thoughts and pain of 2002 where it belongs, in the past. I will no longer allow myself to think about what should've been, what may be, what could've been, and to stay in the present only. And if my H doesn't see the value in me, I thank God that I see it in myself. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

While writing my business plan for the year. I purposed that when all this is over, I will buy myself a convertible, let my hair blown in the wind while I forget. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Wallace, Petvet, Davepr, WGTT

I hope you're all well.

God Bless,
relady

Hi All,

A belated "Happy New Years" to each and everyone of you and all the people on "MBers".

Let's all pray for a better year than last year... it has to get better.

avondale...

I have to agree with you... I don't think that any of us could ever in our wildest dreams believe that we could find ourselves in the position we are in. It is hard to believe... unfortunately it is a circumstance that we all have been placed in and we must deal with all the wonderfulness that surrounds us.

I for one believe that God has placed us in this for a reason... to become closer to him.

I for one, will try my hardest to follow the path he so chooses.

avondale, you are in a wait a see postion... you can only react to what is presented to you at any given time.

If your "H" doesn't follow through with the "D" and just lets it lay there in the position it is now... what do you think you will do?

You have handled yourself so well, I'm sure you have some ideas on what you may or may not want to do... and your right... a lot of things can change in 6 months... my whole life did.

EC...

That is wonderful news concerning your YD. I'll bet you were just about breathless when you heard that news.

I had a good chuckle about your YD dating. They grow up so fast... mine is almost 17 years old, and I still feel like she is 12. I still have a hard time sometimes with her dating... it's hard to believe that your little girls grow up so quickly... Oh how time flies!

I hope your YD gets the opportunity to move in with you... I know you would make things nice for her.

RMA...

I'm glad and sad all at the same time. Glad that your able to move forward in life with all it has to offer, and sad that I won't be seeing your words of wisdom that helped us all on a regular basis.

You are one of the "Wise Ones" that will be missed on these boards. Thank you for being here, your presence will be missed.

relady...

We cross posted, and I wanted to let you know, that you come so far in your journey with the Lord. Don't dwell in the past (as hard as it is), for it will only hold you back, and not allow you to grow.

The Lord knows your pain, and it is not his will, to see his children suffer. Keep your faith as strong as it is, and he will reward you for your faithfullness.

Petvet, Dave, and WGTT, I hope everything is well.

Blessings to all and have a great day!

Stay Strong!

Wallace

<small>[ January 02, 2003, 03:34 PM: Message edited by: Wallace ]</small>

Well, now that this thread has been spoken of so highly and advertised so well on the 2002 Post Awards thread, I wonder if anyone else will join in? Will this group lose some of its rapport if it gets too diluted? Hmm....we'll have to see!

EC - that is GREAT, absolutely GREAT, about your YD calling. I know you will encourage her to finish school early so she can be with you. My daughter did, and went to college early too. Tell her it will look great on her school transcript and job resumes! Has she considered summer school for extra credits, to get out even earlier?? You could find out about some of the community colleges where you are, and email her their websites. (You could mail her actual brochures but they might get "lost" before they get into her hands <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ). Anyway, I know you're on Cloud 9, and we're all so happy for you. A glimmer of hope on your horizon!

Petvet - I hope you read the 2002 Post Awards thread. You're mentioned there, ya know. You're famous! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> And I know you're on Cloud 9 too, since your beloved "dawgs" won the Sugar Bowl yesterday. Hope you had a good trip to see it.

Wallace - you're right, last year was so bad for all of us, so 2003 has GOT to be better! You know I had asked about those "divorce support groups" a while back. Well, I got some info on one and to be honest, right now I don't feel at peace about going. I'm not sure if it's because I'm technically not divorced, or what, but I have to do what seems right and sometimes God gives unrest as a direction marker. So I'll just use y'all as my support group, LOL.

WGTT - whatever happened about insurance for your camera? I was sorry to hear it was lost, and I'm looking forward to the Photo Album being updated. I imagine what everyone at MB looks like and I wonder if I'm half right, LOL

Relady - Thanks for the correspondence, I sent one back to you.

Dave - I guess the first year is the "trigger year", huh? So hopefully at Christmastime 2003, you will look back and see how much better things have progressed and be able to really enjoy it. I've been thinking about "triggers" and may post something about that subject later. It may be too difficult for people to reply to, I'm not sure.

If I missed anyone, I apologize! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi all!

RMA: I'm sad to see you go "Buddy". I know you are not leaving the post but just fading to back. I owe you alot. You were there for me in my darkest hours. My emotions back then were up and down, and you took me by the hand literally and pulled me though. You gave me the confidence I needed to get to the point where I am today. I hope how you influence my life will insure you entry through the "Golden Gates". I hope things are going well with your friend. You appear to be happy, and you deserve it.

Wallace: You are heading in the right direction. You may have found you a gem.

Avondale: Yes, it has been six months for you and eventually that will lead to nine months, etc. Over time, you will get stronger and stronger. I know the holidays were tough, but you made it through in one piece. Looking back, I bet it turned out better than you thought. Take care of yourself and strength will follow. Also, Relady is a good role model. She appears to have her act together and is cooking on all cylinders. You are going to be OK.

EC: I am so happy for you. See, we knew this may happen. Just play your cards right and don't let your Exw get in the middle of things. Let your YD see things for herself. Your prayers have been answered.

Relady: What can I say? You appear to have things under control. New convertable and letting your hair down: you are ready to conquer the world. Go girl!

Dave: Stay with the plan even though the flashbacks.

Later.

Hi All,

Well the weekend is almost upon us, and I feel that something is blowing in the wind, just a gut feel.

My "lady friend" sold her house, and is preparing to move to either another house or a townhouse and her exH has been calling her daily... I think reality is setting in for him as a WS, and exH.

It's going to get interesting I'm sure.

EC...

I loved the "Wizard of OZ" concept. After reading that in the MBers awards thread... I realized that it is like the "Wizard of OZ", and we are like all the characters searching and looking for
things such as a... home, heart, brain, courage, and God.
I know I'm on a quest to try to recover and find all those... especially God.

That was a great thread.

avondale...

If it is not put into your heart to go to one of those "divorce groups", then follow what God has put into your heart.

We are here for you, and I for one will try to support you as best I can.

I have been going to a "divorce support group" for a little over a year now at the Church that I attend.
I have found them to be very helpful at times... and I do believe God led me to that group as well as that Church. There are a lot of great people there.

The Lord will lead you, leave it in "His" hands.

relady...

You have been doing so well... but I have one question for you at this point.

You indicated that you shed some tears during "New Years Eve", (which is understandable) are you having triggers go off on you as well?

I like your attitude though... buying a convertible and letting your hair down. Not looking back and just go... I may try that.

Petvet...

How about them "dawgs"?

Did you have a good time at the game?

Anything new on your battle front?

I think I may have a gem for a "lady friend", but I'm having a difficult time opening myself up to her. I still have many issues that I'm going to be dealing with for a long time to come I'm afraid.

Dave, and WGTT...

Hope you are all having a nice day.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi everyone,

We drove thru the night to get back to SUNNY Florida. I went to bed at 9 am & am up now & exhausted.

The pictures have been sent to Faith to post on the board & she will bump it up when she does.

My head feels like fluff right now. D is a night owl & when I got done driving at 2 am she said she could drive home. Well 2 1/2 hours later, Mom, I'm tired !!!. That was 3 hours from home so I bought coffee & here we are.

I hope everyone is well - just briefly read thru as much as my head will comprehend.

D.

Hi All,

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

Wallace

WOW, that is an interesting turn of events. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
So, her H was WS and now you think the 'fog' has lifted? How long were they married and do you think she could possibly have some sort of feelings for her H? Be very careful and don't offer any suggestions that would influence her in any way and you'll have a pretty good idea what's going on.

Believe me, I have a lot of triggers, but I try not to react to all of them, otherwise; I would be an emotional wreck. Everynow and then one slips through my mental radar. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> And I just go with it until its over.

Petvet

Before I can conquer the world, I first have to conquer myself, which is a neverending project. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Avondale

Do you think a Divorce Group is where you want to be at this particular time? I Know you haven't given up on reconciliation, have you?

Everyone else,

Have a great weekend.

God Bless,
relady

Gee, I fell asleep watching TV at 8 PM and now I fear I may be awake for hours <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Not how I wanted to start my weekend, LOL....must be getting old!

Re: Divorce support group...one reason I didn't feel good about going was that they are all on Wednesday nights, which is when I go to a Bible study home group from my church. So I'd have to give that up (which has been very supportive of me) for 3 months to attend the group. Another reason is that, because I do still want restoration of my marriage, I don't want to put the cart before the horse. I know these groups are great for those in separation too, but I just want to wait until I know more of what's ahead for me...maybe in the fall, we'll just have to see.

Wallace -
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It's going to get interesting I'm sure. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That's for sure! Are you open to the possibility that your lady friend's exH might come to his senses and want reconciliation? Is she? (Sorry, just had to ask since there are many threads about people getting together, even after divorce.)

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Hi All,

I'm not trying to dump on you guys but my heart has been so broken this morning, I called my sister and just cried in frustration. I picked up the certified letter from the post office exw filed with the court Dec 26 regarding the CS modification. I read it and I can't believe the lies she put in there. She submitted false documents to the court and twisted and manipulated my words. I can't think of the word but isn't that perjury? I am more convinced I'm dealing with a very wicked evil spirit not just with a person here. It's really trying to bring me down under it's power and control.

*******
On the form,
They ask what has changed since the final judgment in may 2002 of the court order requiring a modification?

I submitted: CS Modification needs to made since OD is now 18 and out of HS.

Exw Submits: OD is NOT 18 and is still in HS attending Comm College part time and is not working. [How could she lie? a false statement]

The Facts: OD turned 18 in Feb 2002 will be 19 next month and is working at sonics attending comm college. I went to OD's HS graduation. Was I born yesterday? I didnt have twins YD/OD are not both 17 they are about a 1 3/4 yrs apart she don't even know there ages. OD 84, YD 85

*******
They ask me to explain CS mod reason again:

I submitt: OD 18 is considered an adult now therefore there is only one minor child in the home YD 17 therefore CS should reflect this.

Exw Submits: He is claiming YD is 17 and the only minor child in the home however OD is 18 and is still in the home and is considered a minor.

The Facts: By law Age 17 is a minor, 18 is an adult. [I don't get it?]

*****

They ask why do you feel this CS mod is in the best interest of the child OD?

I submit: I want my income free so I can help OD with college and other things when she's away from home. [My papers were written back in Aug a few weeks before OD was to leave home for college, but she didn't and I didn't know it till later]

Exw submits 12/26 She twisted and manipulated my words: She says judge as you see he wants to continue to support OD while she is attending college and since she is still at home I am requesting the support to continue and INCREASE more than the $800 a month. [Is this greed\extortion or what?]

The Facts: Exw played on my words, I was wanting to have my income free to buy OD the things she needed while in the Dorm. This makes me so mad, I only wanted to help OD with my money so I could help her eventually get a car, a Fridge, books or whatever rather than having money go to exw's house buying food, junk, etc.....The law does not require me to pay for college but only if I agree to in writting, In my honest statemnt I said I want to help OD knowing she would be out exw's house, and on holidays away from college she could have lived with me. I was trying to show a willingness to do this on my own as a loving responsible parent and not through a court order showing despite OD would be dropped I still had others to support her outside the home and exw has twisted my intentions. [That is so cruel and dirty]

This now leaves me only now to get an Attorney, this is pathetic, why come I get sucked back into her traps.

All exw had to do was acknowlege OD is 18 and should be dropped and let the CS reflect YD. This is what I mean, just when I feel I'm out of her web and completely free of her then she pulls stunts like this, she is just money hungry and trying to take me for all I got, she has done me so dirty in all these A's and trying to use me up to the very dime, when is her downfall coming? If they increase CS I might as well be homeless whats the point, I'm working so hard, 40 hours extra a month and between the Gov taxes and my wife I pay out $2,000 a month and now she's asking for more. The money she gets from me ain't helping her or YD/OD because she can't budget it, blowing it and can't buy them nothing. YD/OD work to support the house.

Also In her statement to the court she claims her income has dropped $8,000 a year, if so she should in the late $3x,xxx range, the sly side of that is she is a Graphic Designer and does cash projects on the side, she told me, she said her and a friend did a $15,000 magazine project in early 2002 and other projects the last time she spoke to me peacefully, but I have no way to prove her cash flow, she is paid in cash from her friend, but she is still struggling. But then again it could have been a lie to knowing her. I'll see the numbers when I get a copy of her fin avfid thats on its way to me from the courts.

So this is my proactive plan:

Monday I'm going to get an Attorney [a must now] I have no choice this has to stop, she's backed me in a corner. I can't let her just run with this without some slap from the law for lying and manipulation. It should be easy all the papers are filed waiting a court date.

At Avondales request:

Since YD wants to come live her after HS, I'm going see if she wants finish HS early by attending summer school she only needs two credits. I checked with the Medical University here and they have an Early Medical College Enrollment Program for Highschoolers.

On the Flip side.

If YD comes here to live with me exw will have to pay me CS until YD is 21 based on my state laws. She may try to stop YD if she finds that out but YD is old enough to choose who she wants to live with.

If I have to pay college expenses for OD through the courts the money will not go to exw's house but to a managed trust fund for OD. Exw thinks she's going to have a check from me every month for the next few years but she has a surprize coming. She's going to be checkless from me.

I warned her if she continued to use the Law on me unjustly one day it would turn back on her. She has now submitted false statements. The paper/petition you sign and file with the court before the notary says:

"I understand that I am swearing or affirming under oath to the truthfulness of the claims made in the petition and that the punishment for "Knowingly" making a false statement includes fines and/or imprisonment.

Thanks for listening, just when I thought it was all over, its only the start of something else new, when will she just let me loose, my sister said thats the problem, she's just a tool in the hands of the enemy thats trying to keep you from your blessing and trying to destroy you through financial despair, you see she lied and wants more increases knowing you're already under financial pressure from when you were out of work due to her multiple A's.

As Petvet said, she's a wicked woman..

Please pray for me I stay strong, please pray that she be stopped by the power of God.

Take Care...

I was trying to show a willingness to do this on my own as a loving responsible parent and not through a court order showing despite OD would be dropped I still had others to support her outside the home and exw has twisted my intentions. [That is so cruel and dirty]

Correction:

I was trying to show a willingness to do this on my own as a loving responsible parent and not through a court order showing despite OD would be dropped I still had other [PLANS after modification] to support her outside the home and exw has twisted my intentions. [That is so cruel and dirty]

((((((((((( EC )))))))))))))))))
My heart was sinking as I read your post. I am soooo sorry! Please don't view this as a setback!
It sounds like you have a plan, and a lawyer should be able to take care of everything in short order. As you said, it's easy to prove how old both girls are. I also had a thought about the "under the table" income for your exw....my husband also gets paid cash in lots of jobs (actually, not usually "cash" but checks written to him personally). I am assuming your wife also gets paid in that same way. After all, if they got $15,000 for a job, it would not be in hard cash, it would be in some form of checks. The company that paid them would have a record of this as an expense. That means if you know the name of one or more of the companies she's done side work for, you can tell that to your lawyer. If you want to pursue that (and it may be worth a little of your time) they can do some checking with a particular company's expense reports and prove a payout(s) to your exw.

You could probably even petition the court for exw to pay your lawyer's cost since you only had to do that because of her bald-face lies.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Exw submits 12/26 She twisted and manipulated my words: She says judge as you see he wants to continue to support OD while she is attending college and since she is still at home I am requesting the support to continue and INCREASE more than the $800 a month. [Is this greed\extortion or what?]
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">EC, I feel very confident that once a judge knows the kind of nomadic lifestyle your exw and kids have had since you left, he/she will not increase any payment. And your idea about a trust account is a perfect solution!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If YD comes here to live with me exw will have to pay me CS until YD is 21 based on my state laws. She may try to stop YD if she finds that out but YD is old enough to choose who she wants to live with. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Is it possible to waive your right to that if your YD comes to live with you? I am sure that you feel personally, it would be much better to have your YD with you than to get money from your exw. Right? So tell your exw you will sign something to the effect that if YD lives with you, you waive financial CS rights for as long as she's with you.

I'll be praying for you, honest! Keep us posted.

Oh, and thanks <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> for the mention in the Awards thread. I don't think I deserve it, but you were real sweet for mentioning me!

<small>[ January 04, 2003, 05:36 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>