Hi Avondale

Thanks for the support - Yes, I would be willing to waive my rights of collecting CS from her in my state if YD came here because I really don't care about getting money from her, I don't need the attachment of expectation from her, I'm not seeking revenge, I just want free...I'm just tired of the legal battles and the financial threats for increases from her. I don't know why she keeps coming at me for more, she makes more than I do.

You made a good point about petitioning the court in having her to pay attorney fee's since she lied. If she would have just submitted truthful documents I wouldn't have to do anything it would be all done and over.

I just remembered why I made the statement about helping OD in college and that's because back in July 2002 OD wrote me the apology letter from the city were she was suppose to attend college in [Jacksonville] which is 4 hrs from where exw lived, I thought she was in the dorm and out of the house also the letter had OD's Po Box number that was post marked for that city also. She had gotten a $75,000 scholarship I thought she was there in the dorm.

I found out based on document exw's $8,000 drop in income was based DR's order for her to stop working overtime at her old job, she was at the DR's office 3-4 times a week, the income drop was all OT not her base pay, her new job where she now lives has no OT available, she gets paid monthly, not weekly anymore but she increased a little, so she has to live on her base salary of $40,000 a yr, plus her hidden side jobs, plus my $800 per month but thats not enough, plus OD/YD still has to support the house. She wants that $8,000 loss to come from me, go figure?

I really feel her hardship is because of the evil motives and Sin of what she's doing, her financial and emotional struggles has not stopped since the day she seperated Mar 2001 having Boyfriend(s). I would ask any WS, is it really worth it?

Take Care

Hi everyone!

EC: Even though your exw pulled a dirty one over on you, I would not cry over it. Why? I have a different spin on it. Your "wonderful" ex may have screwed up big time. Please hear me out. Firstly, I would get me an attorney in Florida. By forcing you to go to court, your evil ex has opened up a can of worms. Since you will have to fight over CS, why don't you bring up the custody issue as well. It can't cost you anymore money because you will be in court anyway. You will be able to show how your ex has treated you and the kids since both of you were divorced. You can end this mess once and for all plus you may be able to hit her for attorney fees. Concerning income, you may want to notify the IRS about her (I know it's dirty, but....). What do you think?
Oh! I would save those email messages you receive from your daughter. I don't view this as necessarily a bad thing.

Avondale: I would let God guide me as to whether a divorce group is right for you at this time.

Wallace: I had a wonderful, wonderful , wonderful time, and it's not because of the game either. I have a twinkle in one of my eyes. I can't say anymore.

Later.

From Petvet 2 weeks ago
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> ...Funny, funny, funny.Huh, huh , huh. I am still in a state of embarassment. I am still legally married, so I just don't know what to do. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">from Petvet yesterday
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Wallace: I had a wonderful, wonderful , wonderful time, and it's not because of the game either. I have a twinkle in one of my eyes. I can't say anymore. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OK Ladies,I am getting very, very nervous here. Is it something in the water that the guys on this thread are drinking? Maybe the computer screens are hypnotizing them? Are they having a contest of some sort?! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

You all know we want the very best for you fellas. I think Relady's new name for this thread might actually have been prophetic..."New Loves for Tough Loves", wasn't it? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ January 05, 2003, 07:59 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Hello everyone!

I agree with Avondale, what's up with the guys? And Petvet, what's happening <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ???

EC - My heart goes out to you dealing with evil XW. It's amazing how she thinks that her lies won't be found out.

Re: the hidden extra income, there are lots of ways that she could be paid & kept out of her regualar pay. One way is to pay bills or pay for things. The company uses it as a write off, & XW benefits. Also, could be paid as an expense reimbiursement so no taxes. Cash (who knows how her friend could justify this, but it has been done) Paying someone else in name who is an "employee" ex teenager in low tax bracket, then giving that person some $ for using her name and XW getting the rest.

There are lots more ways and if it becomes important to track them down, I will post more ideas.

Wallace - thank you for finally sharing about your Christmas.

I'm gonna watch Spiderman with my kids now. (the younger 2 anyway. Oldest son went back to college in Jacksonville today - I miss him already!!)

D.

Hi Everyone,

It's a new week with hopefully good things in store for all of us.

EC...

I'll give you my thoughts on this CS issue... as I am in the midst of a real hair puller concerning CS.

I'm sure you thought of this... but if you have your daughter's birth certificate, you can present that to the courts as evidence that your exW lied about your daughter's age.

If you have to hire an attorney and go to Court, I would most definitely ask for attorney's fees. Judges don't like to be lied to, so if you can show that your exW in fact did falsify the facts surrounding your daughters age... you may be awarded attorney's fees for having to go through the extra expense.

You are dealing with evil... such as we all are. It's just how evil can they become. In my household my exW has been dubbed the "Entity", because she is so evil.

It's like they have been taken over by Satan himself. Who knows... maybe they have... they act like they have.

Here is another way you can track her money. Have her do a full financial disclosure of her bank accounts (If you know who she banks with). There is ways to track this... I don't know how it's done... but I know it has been done.

I'm sorry you have to go through this... it works you... and I think it's just as bad as going through the "D".

avondale...

"New Loves for Tough Love"...I think relady called that one correctly... LOL. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

It's starting to head in that direction... Huh. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Petvet starting to worry you... a twinkle in his eye? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I've been wanting to fall asleep all the time too. Friday night came... went to my Church group and went straight to bed... I think it's in the air.

Too bad the divorce support group is on the same night as your Bible study. Just to give you an idea... almost everyone in my group does not want a "D". They want to reconcile with their WS. They are a good group of people... I've learned a lot from them and the Church conselors. They also have "Divorce Care" there as well. That is a very good program.

WGTT...

Let us know when the pictures from the MBers get together get put up on the MBers photo album, I would like to see them.

How was the "Spiderman" movie?

I watched the "Lord of the Rings" with my YD the other day... 3 hour movie... WoW!

Petvet...

Twinkle in the eye? Are we going somewhere with this? Sure sounds like it might be heading in that direction.
For your own piece of mind... wait until you have gotten your "D", before you fall into something you may regret.
That way... if and when you do get a "D", you can walk away from your "M" with a clear conscience... just a suggestion.

I had made up my mind that I wasn't going to do anything until my "D" was final. I knew my "M" was over... but I didn't want to be accused by anyone... that I didn't do everything in my power to save my "M"... and you all know the rest of the story.

Me...

Well let me just take this whole "Love thread", and take it way up... by about 1000 notches. This weekend my "lady friend" told me... (we are going to need a marching band for this one, not just a drum roll please), that she wanted to "Marry Me".

We both discussed it, and I told her I would take it under consideration, and we both decided to revisit it in about 6 months.

So what do you think about that? Go ahead... I'm ready to get beat up.

relady, Dave, and anybody else I may have missed... I hope your day is going well.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

<small>[ January 06, 2003, 03:24 PM: Message edited by: Wallace ]</small>

Happy Monday to all!

WGTT ....Great ideas about income disclosure. But we're waiting on the pics!

Wallace ....judicious use of the smiley faces there, LOL. I hate to burst your bubble, but the ladies on this thread don't need a marching band with your announcement! I could have told you this was going to happen back before Thanksgiving and I'm sure Relady , WGTT and RMA could have too. Now you, on the other hand, might have been caught off guard. Were you? I seem to recall you were caught off guard with the "I love you" declaration too. I predict that she will not wait 6 months to bring up the subject again, either overtly or covertly by using hints and innuendos (like all women know how to do-myself included).

Wallace, what is wrong with this picture? She is running and you aren't. Why? Maybe she's rebounding, maybe not. But it sure does appear that way. Is it possible to just "date" for a while without becoming so emotionally tangled? Where are YOU on this dating/love/marriage thing? You've said you wanted to go slow, but she's either picking up signals (maybe you don't even realize you're sending them) or she is very determined (which is entirely possible). Now I hope all this doesn't "beat you up" (I could have worded it much stronger <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ) but just shows concern for both you and her (mostly you, cuz I know you better).

Hi All,

Hope you had a great weekend.

For this post I have cleaned my desk of all papers and put my phone on voicemail, and my computer is directly in front of me. LOL
Wallace,

I am beginning to fear that you're only telling us one side of the story. I suspected it when your 'ladyfriend' told you she loved you, now I know for sure. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Avondale, you are so kind. It's nice to be nice, but our friend needs 'crisis intervention'. LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Now, Wallace, you cannot convince me as a female that she is just dropping all of this on you out of the clear blue sky! You, my friend are definitely fanning the flames. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> There is no way she would be comfortable saying these things, buying you 'pants' etc.

Things to think about:

Most, BS's will agree that it doesn't matter what the Ws's has done, there is still some amount of love still present. It doesn't just go away by osmosis.

Could she be running from her xh since he is now calling her every day?

Is your healing complete? She is the first one to come along and treat you nice. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Have you consulted God? Talked to your pastor? You may not have an answer in 6 months. Actually, I think you already have your mind made up.

Marching band or funeral procession. Up to you! Ouch! Now that's cold! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

EC

Wow, your xw is vicious. But to lie to the court. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Do you think she realizes what she is doing? are there drugs involved? It's easy enough for you to remedy, but you probably need to hire an attorney. You really need someone to expose her for what she is, maybe hire a PI as well.

Everyone else,

Have a great day.

God Bless,
relady

Hi All,

avondale...

I did use those smiley faces rather judiciously didn't I? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Oh, my, there is another one... they just keep cropping up...LOL.

You saw this coming back before Thanksgiving? I wasn't ready for this at all... in fact I was caught completely off guard with the conversation of her wanting to marry me.

My intentions are to date her, and that is all at this point in time. Getting married to anyone isn't even on the horizon for me. I am enjoying being single again.

I still have a bad taste in my mouth from what I just came out of. All the bad things that happened in my marriage far out weigh the good, so I have a lot of healing to do before I even entertain the thought of marriage.

That was pretty much how our discussion ended concerning that issue.

So... I plan on staying single for quite some time. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

relady...

Cleaning the desk off, and putting on the voice mail? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Oh oh... I'm in trouble now...LOL.

I'm telling you pretty much all that there is. Granted, I'm using all of the "MBers principals. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> But, that pretty much is the total extent of it.
Who knows... if I had found this site before the collapse of my marriage... maybe my marriage would still be in tact. Unfortunately I'll never find that out, but it is really working great with the new relationship I have going now.

She knows about MBers as well, so maybe we are so taken with each other... because these principals really do work, when put to use.

According to my "lady friend", the main reason her exH was calling all the time here recently was because his g/f was out of town, and he was bored. Since his g/f has gotten back into town... she hasn't heard a word from him.

I'm sure she still has feelings for her exH, the same as I do for my exW... you don't kill 20 plus years of marriage and feelings overnight. It's going to take us both a very long time to come to terms with all of it.

That's why I keep saying, "steady as she goes".

I know she wants to step up the pace... for whatever reason... I'm not sure... but she does.

I on the other hand, am moving very slow and mythodical. I did talk to my Church Pastor, and we both talked to the Church counselors about the whole situation. They all indicated that we need time to heal before we get into a serious relationship... which I totally agree with. I'm not sure if she agrees with it, but I surely do.

I prayed on it as well, many times. Should I date her, or not. So far God has put it into my heart to keep seeing her. I'm not sure what the reasons are, but that's what has been put into my heart.

God is leading me on this... where it is going to take me? Im not sure, but I'm on my way as you can see.

How will it end up? Hopefully... good things will come out of this, but we are taking a wait and see attitude, and living it one day at a time.

If you take everything that has gone on, and is going on... it will consume you. God is my pilot on this one.

So in a nut shell... this is where we are situated. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I haven't committed to anything, and to be perfectly honest... I'm not sure when I would want to committ to marriage again.

I know one thing... it's not anytime soon. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hope that clears a few things up, but I'm not sure I did... LOL.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

<small>[ January 07, 2003, 12:06 PM: Message edited by: Wallace ]</small>

Hello,

The pix are up. Not everyone wanted to be identified so not everyone that was in attendance is shown. There are no names right now, but I will list names on each pix shortly.

Just taking a short break, it hasn't been a good day. I made appmt with an attorney on the 31st which was the first time available. I posted a separate thread on proving money was spent on OW so if any of you have any ideas, please let me know.

Finacially it is very possible that we could take a huge nose dive any minute. I am working on possible sources of income and cash right now. YUK. This SUX. WH is in fast spinning downward spiral.

D.

Hi all!

Wallace: You have done it again, pal. You have gotten the tribe in an uproar. Avondale and Relady have laid down some serious words. Remember, you asked for it. Why would your friend take such a big step so soon? It seems kind of odd to me? Saying and doing are two different things. Dr. Laura recommends dating a minimum of one and half years before trying to take things to the next level. this is a time for evaluation and analysis. Be careful. As far as my situation is concern, I have not and will not do anything that will damage my creditabililty. I am going to do things the right way and not repeat any problems from the past.

EC: How are things with you? You have received some good advice from fellow thread members.

Avondale and Relady: There is not anything in the water or air. It's using sound MB principles. They work regardless of gender.

Later.

Hi Everyone,

Petvet...

I can faintly hear war drums beating out in the distant jungle... LOL.

I couldn't hold that one back... it caught me off guard so much (that she wanted to marry me), that I had to post it... just to see what everyone thought about it.

I'm in full agreement with you Petvet as well
as Dr.Laura... I have every intention on waiting to see how this all plays out for at least a year and a half... at the very minimum.

If she can't live with that, then I guess there is not much I can do or say that is going to change her or my mind.

We will see how this all plays out.

Glad to hear that your taking things slow and mythodical as well.

It's true about the MBers Principals... when applied correctly... it puts things in a whole different world. Putting God first in your life plays an even bigger part... I think that is where all of it comes from.

WGTT...

I posted on your thread about trying to keep your finances in order when your WS starts acting like a complete goof.

If you do file for a D. I know that the Judge will take into consideration all the financial misgivings that a WS has perpetuated, and many times they will factor that in. Hopefully you don't have to get down and dirty, but prepare yourself just in case.

I looked at the pics on the MBers Photo Album.

How many of you were there?

Can't wait to see who is who... hopefully you won't keep us all guessing.

avondale, relady, EC, and Dave...

Hope everything is going well for you today.

RMA...

If your out there... I hope everything is well.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Wallace,

Just popped in here real quick Here's who was at the get together -
sunrise & d
kily & s
sheppette
me
NSR
C++ guy (now thy will not my will ...)
catamount
logically irrational (not in pix)

Thanks for your response. I have been very busy recently and have recently got a new project work wise that should be very good for me - a good long term customer if this job goes right which it should - WH isn't doing this one!

To all the others - Have a great evening!!

D.

Hi WGTT,

Thanks for the info as far as who attended the MBers get toether.

Looks like everyone was enjoying themselves, and was having a good time.

Good luck on your project.

Petvet, avondale, relady, and EC...

Haven't heard much from all of you lately... hope everything is O.K.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

To all,

Visiting this evening and WHAT do I see???? Ya'll are gonna make me give up my exercise program!

Wallace,

You are NOT getting married! Don't even think about it, and that is an order! I have been dating my guy friend since the divorce - he was actually an acquaintance. It has been 3 years now. Remember that EVERYTHING has a time and a season. You are too vulnerable and the fog goes both ways, friend. Enjoy the relationship, but please do 2 things:

1) recognize you are not ready to make another commitment so soon, and
2) you must make that perfectly clear to lady friend. If she truly cares, she will do what my guy friend is doing....waiting for me.

Petvet,

What the heck is a "twinkle"?? I can only imagine. Your time will come, but it is not just right now, OK?

avondale and relady,

Ah, the sensible ones, here! Luv you two!

WGTT,

No slight to you, but I got to know these ladies a bit more than you. Thanks for posting that pic you referenced. I haven't looked yet, but will do so to try to figure out who's who....especially NSR, as he is from my time4 period here and a dear friend. Glad you had fun!

EC,

You are in my prayers. You know, the end never does seem to come with these things....more legal wrangling for you and I am sorry about that. Know that I care.

Davepr,

You out there? Just saying Hi and hope recovery is going well.

That's all folks! Keep praying for each other!

RMA

Good Morning All,

RMA...

It is good to hear from you... what a nice surprise!

Did you go back to your karate classes?

Many years ago... I had taken Hop Won Kin Do...(I probably spelled that wrong)... it was that long ago... I made it to brown belt. Broke my little toe in a tournament. That pretty much ended my work out for almost a year. By the time it healed... I had found another activity to bide my time with... GIRLS!.

I have been thinking about getting back into it... in fact I have already paid for about 6 months worth of classes. So it's just a matter of finding the time to do it.

Time seems to be at a premium right at the moment.

I like your idea about waiting before making any rash decisions. I indicated that to my lady friend and she said she would wait for 5 yrs... which is fine by me. I don't know what will happen if and when we hit that 5 year mark. Who knows... I'll probably turn into a pumpkin when we hit that 5 yr. mark. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I don't plan on getting married. I like things just the way they are. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

3 yrs. and counting with your guy friend... that's great to hear. That's what I'm looking for... that same type of a relationship.

Good to hear from you RMA... stay in touch.

I hope everyone has a very nice weekend.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi All,

Wallace

See what you did? Now RMA will never trust us to be alone again. LOL There is always one that acts up while the parents are away. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Now that all the 'ladies' of this thread agree, you know you don't have a chance!

RMA

Good to hear from you so soon! Avondale and I are doing our best, however;, Wallace is totally disobedient <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Thank you for your hard hand of discipline for him and Petvet.

ME

I've been very busy lately and have barely had a chance to check my email. I decided to mainly stick to this thread and not read the others. For me, they were causing confusion and lots of sadness. I started to question myself and that is not good. So I backed off a few days, consulted with the Lord and made a decision.

WGTT

Where are the pictures posted? I can't seem to find an MBers picture album. Is it on this site?

Petvet, Davepr

Hope all is well.

All, Have a great and wonderful weekend.

God Bless,
relady

Hi Everyone,

Look like you guys are having fun in here!

Well after a week of praying and trying figure out how to go about this CS issue. My brother called me out the blue and ask how I was doing. I haven't spoke to him since Sept since his phone was off after him running into a financial snag however he's back on his feet. He said " ok I want to get in your business so whats happening now between you and exw? I told him the latest about what exw was trying to do to me through the court by lying. He said "thats it"! He said ,I'm getting down on my knees tonight to pray about this, I'm going to even try to pay for you a lawyer!....I was stunned? I was like boy God moves when he needs to......My brother immediatly thought exw and OM wrote papers up since it was so full of lies and accusations, he said it had a very demonic overtone to it. He thought maybe OM has controlled exw to the point that he would force her to lie to the court to extort money from me for his own personal gain but it's going to cost her bigtime in the end. I don't know if illegal drugs or alcohol are involved or not. Seeing she blurpped out one time " OM is not perfect and has some issues", who knows?

So today I contacted a lawyer and told him my story of what's on the documents I submitted and what exw submitted. The lawyer said 'what?!! Has she lost her @#%*#% mind? I said that's what I submitted and this is what she submitted to the court. Before I could continue he said so in other words you have been paying CS money since May 2002 that doesn't belong to her and she wants more on top of that?, I said yes. He said this and that needs to happen. He then told me his price a flat fee $1,500 and said send him my paper work, so he can view it. He also said he would ask for exw to pay attorney fee's since she lied and submitted false documents to the courts, he said had she not done that I wouldn't have to hire him and it would have been a done deal. So that's where I am now trying to obtain miracle money.

I spoke to YD/OD earlier this week, YD still talking about moving here. OD is experiencing life a little. I can tell she still has some anger but it's slowly lifting. After I get her her BD gift I'm sure she open up a little more. I decided I will seek custody of YD if she wants to come once I hire an attorney. She's old enough she can pick and choose where she wants to stay, I wouldn't force her though.

The only thing I'm concerned about now is that once exw finds out I hired an attorney to defend myself and she realize she's in some serious trouble with the law and with fine's and possible imprisonment is she will try to destroy my relationship between me and YD/OD though if I'm doing something out of spite to her though if she was innocent and done nothing, this has been the very thing I've dealt with along, she brainwashes them when she does her dirty work that they don't know about and all YD/OD see is my actions and I look like Mr bad guy. I can guarantee you through manipualtion she will tell YD/OD this "Your dad hired a lawyer trying to send me to jail and he's trying to get back all the money that belongs to you guys he's paid, who would want a man like that?" Therefore my kids will think, dad?, why come you don't love us enough to take care of us and do your part?, you want back all the money you paid? .....She's done this before to them along these lines that's why I know, this has been part of the problem between me and YD/OD, this is not about CS this is about the deceptive motives behind it all, years prior I was my Kids everything.

Take Care

relady

Here's the link - it's in GQII where things get buried pretty quickly. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

MB Photo Album link

Alanon was a life saver this week for me. It is really helping me clarify my situation, and there is a lot to clarify <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

YS is back in traveling soccer on a local level - no more overnight tournaments! Yea for my sake.

D.

Happy Saturday y'all,
For some reason I have insomnia and so I thought I'd check and see what's up. A couple of new posts!

EC - that sounds very encouraging about your conversation with the lawyer! Actually, the fee doesn't sound that bad, considering the lawyers where I am get $200-250/hour. And hopefully you will get reimbursed through the court from your exw. And what a testimony about your brother, too. That's great!

At what point will your exw find out you hired an attorney? I wonder if you should consider, in your next conversation with your daughters, to explain (at the very least) about how their mother lied about their birthdates, and tell them you're letting them know in case they hear it from her. Remind them you have written proof (the certified letter). You don't necessarily have to go into all the other lies on the court papers too. But that way they would be prepared should she say something to them and start to make you look bad. If you did that, would it do more harm than good?

Relady , you're right...A few of the guys on here are going to give this thread some kind of reputation, LOL.

Wallace , in my insomnia some situations were running through my mind and yours was one of them. My final comment to your latest "True Love for Tough Loves" update is this:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">We both discussed it, and I told her I would take it under consideration, and we both decided to revisit it in about 6 months. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
To be blunt, to revisit in 6 months gives a WHOLE LOT of hope to anyone, especially a woman who is already very emotionally involved with you.

Then you said
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I like your idea about waiting before making any rash decisions. I indicated that to my lady friend and she said she would wait for 5 yrs... which is fine by me </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OK...I am SURE this lady friend is a wonderful person, but this really sounds like she has an agenda (by that I don't mean something necessarily evil or underhanded...I mean she knows what she wants and she is determined to get it no matter what). To make a statement about an event that may or may not occur in 5 years which would impact the rest of your life sure seems like she is living out a fairy tale. PRIOR to healing from the pain of divorce and all the bad things that brings, it is understandable. So again, I think she's really jumping the gun and needs to work on herself before she works on you any more. Don't most authorities say the best way to do that is to NOT be involved (at any level) with someone until you've gone past it?

WGTT - I'm sorry it's going to take a few weeks before you can see a lawyer. But that will give you time to get all your paperwork in order. Have you found any more ways to get evidence of money spent on OW? I have looked at the MB photo album but keep having ALL kinds of trouble making the pics larger when I click on them. The thumbnails are too small to see each person well.

Dave - we haven't heard from you in a while, is everything going OK ?

ME - I am trying to decide how to file taxes...married jointly (this would definitely benefit him and probably me too, but which means I have to interact with H and I don't really want to), or married separately (which will put me in the highest tax bracket). This year I have a HUGE amount of charitable donations from me personally (but went through joint checking acct) and I would prefer to not have to share that with H (which would happen with joint filing). Also, I wonder what kind of "message" either way would send to H. So I'm still thinking/praying about it. I guess my CPA will need to do some extra figuring this year.

Petvet, RMA , have a great weekend!

<small>[ January 11, 2003, 03:55 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Hi all!

Avondale: I need to give you great CAUTION. DO NOT FILE TAXES JOINTLY UNTIL YOUR SITUATION IS COMPLETE AND FINALIZED. You can always file an extension; just make sure you pay any back taxes to avoid any penalties. I would strongly advise filing married filing separately. Consult your tax professional. If there are any back taxes that need to be paid, the WS seems to forget about their obligation and live you with the burden. I know from personal experience, but w will catch hell about it when we get to court.

EC: You are on the right track. Avondale was right; you may want to talk to your D's to give them a heads up. Your wonderful ex will certainly throw venom around about you to your D's once she finds out your intentions. Did you call several attorneys? Just some advice, $1,500 seems about $500 on the upside.

Wallace: I told you the ladies were going to get you. Even setting a five year plan does not seem right, I would not even tell her about a time limit. Just tell her that you are not ready and give reasons. Normally three to five years is the time you should have figured out whether she is a keeper or not. If you find out she is not, tell her a cut her loose. Don't waste your time and hers.

WGTT: I'm going to check out the pictures.

Relady: I agree with you. Cruising too many threads can be time consuming. Some threads are depressing. I'm glad you have chosen to stay with us.

RMA: "Twinkle, twinkle little star". I'll save the details for later. I have kept may hands in my pockets, and I am continuing to play the role of the scorned husband. My hormones have been put on ice. Three years in your relationship sounds like you may have a keeper. Jealous jealous me. RMA, you are alright.

O' everyone, "Joe come lately fan". Go Falcons!

Later.