Hi All,

Petvet...

Glad to hear from you my friend. If your anything like I was... it will take some time to heal from your experience.

I don't understand what your IC is shooting for. If your still in love with your exW... I see nothing wrong with that.

You can't kill love for anyone that you have made a life time commitment with over night... it just does not happen that fast. Personally I wish we could have... it would make life a whole lot simpler... but it does not appear to work that way.

Take care of yourself and your son... like you have been doing... you will be O.K..

I noticed that smiley face after your statement about a possible new woman... what's up with that? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

There has been some rumblings going on in my end of the camp about something called "marriage". But that's all it is... rumblings... nothing serious yet <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Hope everyone is having a good day, and a good week.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Petvet,

My apologies for not getting to this post earlier. I have had alot going on. My Dad died a week ago and I have been out of state for the funeral. Also, I got married this past Fri. We decided on Valentine's Day and were to get married past Tues, but my Dad's funeral was on Tuesday, so we did it this past Fri. It has been hectic around here, to say the least. And I won't mention thast stack of income tax returns I have yet to get to!

Anyway, I wanted to take a moment to say, I am sorry you were disappointed in court. I know you wanted the record straight and to truly reflect what happened. But, even though she never admitted the truth - you know it. My advice is not to throw more good water after bad. Let it go, Petvet. Don't make a crusade out of the rest of your life to try to get things even or corrected. Your exW will have to go and and may even repeat many of the same mistakes. She may never ever admit the truth to you or your son, and maybe not even to herself! Yet, I want you to spend your time and efforts and energies on constructive things that will bring positive people and positive happenings into the life of Petvet and your son.

It is hard to leave this chapter of your life, because it isn't written at all like you thought it should be. It seems the WS gets off scot-free and doesn't have to "pay" for all the havoc they have wrecked. Yet, what seems isn't always so. I am more than willing to place a bet that your exW isn't really happy. if she is - more power to her ability to move on so quickly. However, I have a strong hunch she just isn't a bundle of bliss right now.

God bless you and your good heart. May God give you the strength yo need to forge forward and build a new and happy life for both you and your son!

Love to you, friend! RMA

(PS. Wallace, don't even think about it!!!! It is WAAAAYYYYY too soon!!)

RMA
You're about as bad as Wallace with these bombshells! I'm sorry to hear about your dad; I hope it wasn't totally unexpected and that you were able to take care of any "personal" things that may have existed between you (if there was any). And to happen the same week you were planning on getting married! Your post sounded like you were able to take everything in stride... but you didn't tell us you were THAT serious with your "man friend" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Remind Wallace and Petvet how long you waited after you were divorced! We may need you to keep Wallace, especially, in line. He seems to have forgotten where his brake pedals are and his GPS hormones, er...tracking devices are working overtime, LOL.

Anyway, it was great to hear from you!

Hi All,

RMA...

You do have quite a bit going on... don't you?

I'm sorry to hear of your fathers passing... was it a situation that you were preparing yourself for, or did this just happen all of a sudden. By the sounds of it... it came unexpected.

I thought I dropped some bombshells, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> you getting married came out of left field... LOL.

Congrats... I'm sure you didn't rush into anything like someone I know. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Your right about my circumstance... it's way too soon.

avondale...

Your right... I have forgot where my brake pedal is... and my GPS is not working either.

I feel like I'm in a "Catch-22". This situation is getting way out of control. I do have very strong feelings for my "lady friend"... and I believe that I am in love with her. I find myself at times wanting to settle down with her... and then on the other hand... I find myself not wanting the commitment... at least not right now.

I know this is not fair to her... as I have been kinda going along with most things that she talks to me about. Then I turn around and find myself trying to back pedal and hit the brakes... and she gets disappointed.

In other words... I'm not living up to what she would like to see the final outcome be... and that is marriage.

I want to continue our relationship... but I know I'm not ready for marriage yet. I don't want to lose her... because in my eyes... she is a keeper. But I'm not ready to remarry at this point in time. So now what do I do? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Did you like how I layed that all out for you? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I'm open for some suggestions... and I'm bracing myself for this one. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hey Wallace
Don't brace yourself YET <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I read your post but want to consider and think about it a while before posting. I wanted to let you know I read it and you DID lay it all out very well (better than you did before, LOL). Catch-22s are not something to do quick responses to; I will respond later!

TY avondale,

I all of a sudden found myself in a situation that I am going to need some good advice on... this is a real sticky situation that I'm finding myself in.

I hope I don't blow it... before it's all said and done with.

I'll be waiting to hear what you have to say.

I'm open for all suggestions.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Wallace

Hopefully I can put into words what is in my heart to say. If it were me, I would want total honesty. To say something to the effect that you have written above,

That's she's a keeper, and that you believe that at some point in the future that you feel you want to marry her

In order to have the best possible relationship over the long haul, that you need to come into the relationship fully ready to commit mind, body and soul.

That it is you that has more healing to do, that it has to do with the past, that it may take some time. Not something wrong with her.

I suggest the book "Mars and Venus on a date"
Even if your not much of a reader, I feel this one is valuable. It's not long and easy to read. What I think is valuable in that it talks about the different stages of dating as well as the defferneces between male and females in each stage. It quantifies feelings, reactions and the process itself so that you can say "hey I did this or I didn't do that, or maybe we could approach it this way ..... inother words, it may be something that you two could share and talk about your feelings about what is written.

If you think that she may move on because you are not ready to commit right now (which seems wise) ask her what would you need to do to show her that you truly cared about her while working through your own healing.

Speaking of healing, it is something that we have to do it ourselves but no one can do it for us. She may be thinking that she can help you through what ever it is that you need to go through, when in fact, you are the only one who can do it.

This step has to be right for both of you, not just one or resentment or some other negative emotion will creep in your relationship.

God Bless,

D.

Wallace -

OOPS, I almost forgot the most important thing ...

Prayer

D.

Wallace ,
It seems like your relationship is not on equal footing in certain areas. (I think you already know that, as Relady, RMA and I have told you before, but your own words spelled it out again here.)

Sooo....you've said you think she MAY be "the one" yet the timing is too soon. Agreed? (That's what WE all agreed, whether you do or not, LOL.)

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> and then on the other hand... I find myself not wanting the commitment... at least not right now.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> OK BRACE YOURSELF ! ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Have you been honest with her and said that? What's the worse that could happen - you won't be "dating" her anymore? If she reacts by disassociating herself in that manner, then to be honest, you're better off without her. In earlier posts you indicated you've told her you're NOT ready, etc... for permanent commitment. Why do you continue to feel pressured?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have been kinda going along with most things that she talks to me about. Then I turn around and find myself trying to back pedal and hit the brakes... and she gets disappointed. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">By "going along" you're not being honest either. And it is giving her expectations of things that you have said you're not ready for at this time

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">In other words... I'm not living up to what she would like to see the final outcome be... and that is marriage. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I disagree. You NEVER said you don't want marriage with her, in fact, you've said that you do! I'm not sure where you get the "I'm not living up to..." thought. I hope it didn't come from her! Unless she's pressuring you to get married tomorrow (which could be possible)... Again, it's a timing difference and not necessarily a philosophical difference

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I want to continue our relationship... but I know I'm not ready for marriage yet. I don't want to lose her... because in my eyes... she is a keeper. But I'm not ready to remarry at this point in time. So now what do I do?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If this was one of your kids asking that, what would you say? You'd probably say " she'll wait until you're ready, don't rush into anything, maybe take a break and re-assess"...All things that have been suggested to you. Wallace, if she really wants what's best for you, she will be available when you are ready. And if she's not, then it's just not meant to be. Do you have enough faith to handle that? Have you prayed about it by yourself? What do you feel God is saying to you? Have you prayed about it with her? What does SHE feel God is saying? Hopefully He's saying the same thing to both of you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

WGTT said something very true:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Speaking of healing, it is something that we have to do it ourselves but no one can do it for us. She may be thinking that she can help you through what ever it is that you need to go through, when in fact, you are the only one who can do it. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This very concern was voiced by someone in about the first or second post after you mentioned your "lady friend". It's not uncommon.

So Wallace my big bro, I think it's not just the brakes, not just the GPS, I think the timing belt needs adjusting too. I hear they can be tricky until everything is working in sync, which I know will happen for you IN THE FUTURE <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hi all!

RMA: First of all, thanks for the kind advice. I sure can use it. I am sorry to hear about your father. As Avondale said, I hope it was not sudden and you had time to spend with him. I will pray for his soul. NOW! Sneaky Sneaky Sneaky! You got married under out radar screen. Congratulation! I'm not surprise though because I saw this coming because I kept saying to myself, "she is going to probably marry this guy". I know how you feel about the tax returns because I am covered up myself. As far as my marriage is concern, I have moved on especially after this past weekend. Last weekend, kid's mom was over moving out her stuff. To make a long story short, I caught her telling my son negative things about me even telling him about the evidence that was used against her during the court hearing. She told him that his father will take things and used against him. After she lefted, son came to me and asked me whether I was going to hurt him. I called her that afternoon and told her that I did not appreciate her telling our son negative things about me and putting him in the middle of this stuff; well, she exploded and told me that she I could not tell her what to do anymore (like I ever could) and she could say and do anything she wanted. She said that I did not get what I wanted as far as proving adultery because the judge did not go along with it. I told her that she was responsible for what has happened to her. She was screaming at me to the point that I had to get off the phone. A couple of hours later she left a message saying that she apologize for screaming at me and that we need to be civil to eachother for our son's sake. After that exchange, I started counting my blessings that I was not invlove with her anymore. Other than the adultery thing, I pretty much got what I wanted. As you said, I know the truth. I am just going to try to stay away from her as much as possible. I am headed in the right direction. I am spending my time on constructive things that will bring positive things and happenings in my life as well as my son's. After last Saturday, I am breathing a sigh of relief. Once again, thanks for being there for me from the beginning.

Wallace: It seems to me that you need to level with your lady friend. You know as well as we do that it is too soon for you to get htch again. You have to be honest. She cannot make you marry her, so you get married when you are ready, if she is not please with what is going on, she will probably move on. Granted, things may be going well now, but we need to give it some time of at least a year or two bare minimum. Anybody can be on their best behavior for a year when the love bug has hit. Having a honest relationship is the only way to go.

Avondale: How are things with you?

WGTT: What is the status of your situation?

Me: I am doing much better. I have moved on and have been making positive moves. I do have a friend who is very positive for me. I will fill you guys in on "the friend" at a later date(have I said that before?).

And I'm gone.

Hello Gang!

Wallace - I agree with WGTT, Avondale and Petvet in that they have said. I think the book will help you a lot "Mars and Venus on a Date", It's good and I think you'll see where you went wrong. It's not that she's the wrong person but you're trying to do something serious in the wrong season. You have 4 seasons, spring, summer, fall and winter, somewhere you skipped a season and you're trying to produce completed fruit in the wrong season and you're having conflicting feelings.

I feel what has happened more than anything is that in learning from your previous marriage mistakes and working on you, you learned how to make your marriage work better material and you perfected it, problem is you took those principles and applied it to your current relationship which produced what? Excelerated Marriage possibilites....

What you've learned from MB is good but somethings are to be shared for later in a relationship and not at the beginning otherwise you'll blow there minds....sharing some of these principles are for when you decided to be seclusive and focused on one person, but if you are dating someone you are just becoming friends therefore you don't get intimate right off or apply marriage principles but dating principles...

I think us guys jump very soon at the first female head over heels that come in our lives because in our prior marriage the betrayal made us felt rejected and worthless, then someone comes alongs and accepts us and we not knowing the betrayal had little to do with us, then we find ourselves healing in time with the new person and realize, hey if one lady was attracted to me when I felt I was nothing, I feel real good now, I wonder if I committed to soon and now I realize I went from married to married rather than, married to living the single life, dating and trying to heal...

I think if you get the book it will help you to understand a little better what stages you jummped, you never allowed yourself to have a female friend and kinda let it become a guy thing sorta where there's no romance but just friends, every female that comes along don't mean fall in love.....

I need to read the book again myself, but once you read it you'll know exactly what's happening and you'll know when to back up or move left or right....

She may be the one but you don't have to rush it either, it's your healing season....

Take Care

Hi All,

Thank you all for the very sound advice that you have given me. It is very much appreciated and it puts things more into focus for me.

I'm not really familiar with the "Venus/Mars books... but I'm going to go ahead and purchase the dating one... it sounds like it is something I can use to help better understand this situation.

I have been praying about this whole situation... and the Lord has put it into my heart that she is the "one". The Lord has also put it into my heart, to work through my healing process and come closer to him as well... which I'm working on as we speak.

In regards to being honest with her about all of this. I have in fact been honest with her. I have told her on numerous occasions that I wanted to take things very slow... and see how it all worked out. When we first started dating,(after being just good friends for approximately 6 months) I told her that I was not ready for anything serious... and she was in full agreement. Then... as time went on, she blurped out to me while we were having dinner... that she felt she was falling in love with me. I about fell over in my chair when I heard this... I didn't know how to respond... I was lost for any kind of words whatsoever... I didn't know what to say. I must of looked like something from another Planet... I just looked at her and said "you do"?

Then I said, "well I think I have strong feelings for you as well". Since then, and ever since I uttered those words... the ball has been rolling. Times and dates have gone from a 5 year wait and see period... to the point that she would probably marry me tomorrow if I asked her to.

I made a huge mistake during X-mas. I didn't realize how big of a mistake it was, and I have no idea what possessed me to do this. We were having dinner at a X-mas party, and while at dinner I said. "if I asked you to marry me... what do you think your answer would be"? She looked at me in amazement and said, "I would say, yes". It was at this point that I realized what a can of worms I just opened. She was waiting for me to ask her to marry me... and guess what... I didn't. I just quickly changed the subject to something else... which she was not very happy about. I don't blame her, I would of been upset as well had that happened to me. I was very wrong for what I did... and I apologized to her for it.

Since that point... the 5 year wait and see period has gone from that... to lets have a summer wedding this year. At that point I said, "Well, let's take a look at it, and see what happens". This happened this past weekend.

So this is why I am in the state of affairs (and I hate using that word) I am in.

Yes I know what you are all thinking... that I lead her on, and unknowingly I did... your right... I'm guilty. I didn't realize it at the time and it wasn't done intentionally.

I do want to eventually marry her... but I need to have more time to heal, become closer to God, etc..

I think you have all given me some very sound advice... and I am just going to be honest with her, and tell her that I do love her, and eventually will want to commit to marriage but it's just going to take some time... and let the chips fall where they may.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hey Mr.Wallace Loverboy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

To tell her you want to wait and slow things down a little is not a bad thing, I just had a friend of mine tell me this past weekend that he wished he would have waited before getting married, he said it was only 9 months before he and his current wife got married and said he wrestled with so much of his own baggage from his previous M, so he tells everyone to wait at least 2+ years or more of being single and until you heal...If she loves you she'll understand and wait....

I wouldn't feel guilty, you didn't try to do this and you didn't do it alone, it took (2). Next time all of us here will gather some money and send you a can of spray called ((Down Boy))) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Take Care

EC says:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Next time all of us here will gather some money and send you a can of spray called ((Down Boy)))
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think that spray is needed for all the WH's <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

D.

Wallace ,
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes I know what you are all thinking... that I led her on, and unknowingly I did... your right... I'm guilty. I didn't realize it at the time and it wasn't done intentionally
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">We all KNOW it was not intentional! That never crossed my mind!

To be honest, I think SHE needs to grow a little bit too. It hasn't been that long since her D, and she seems to be carrying the marriage ball and running with it much more than you. I'm sure she realizes that you are as good a "catch" as you think she is.

As for the "Down Boy" spray....EC and WGTT were right - but maybe some of these lady friends need it too. What do you think? LOL

Petvet
I'm sorry your ExW was putting your son in the middle of your situation. At least she apologized for her reactionary behavior. Your post this morning sounded much better. So tell us about YOUR lady friend before it's too late <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

EC - You sound like you're doing good too. Has your OD talked any more about moving to you and going to school there?

WGTT ♥ thanks for showing me ♥

Relady , how are you doing? Any more news from your pastor about your H? Are you still in a holding pattern?

FAA, ThePits, RMA, Dave (& anyone else) Hope you are all having a great week. The days are getting longer and I'm looking forward to spring <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Good gravy! How does a person ever get to retire from this place, one may ask!?!?!??

Petvet and others: look, just because you stood in court and a judge declared your marriage over legally - that doesn't just make all the feelings magically go away. You loved your W. She hurt you and disappointed you in the biggest way. Yet, you still loved her for a long time after finding out about all the lies, didn't you? Of course you did....because you had a deep and abiding love for her. Yes, you were taken to the point of divorce by her choices, not yours. But, it is still going to take awhile to get rid of those lingering feelings for your exW. You say you are moving on, and I do believe that you will take the steps necessary to bring some order, stability and happier experiences into your life. Just take your time, Petvet. Love isn't built in a day...as my moniker says, it is built by little kindnesses over a period of time. Love isn't destroyed in a day, either, just because the judge dissolved the legal union. You have a ways to go yet, friend. In time, Petvet, in time. Keep your mind and your heart focused and those positive experiences and people will become a bigger part of your life!

Wallace, Wallace, Wallace. I can see where you are. Been there myself a long time ago. Here are some things for you to ponder:

- You are lonely. You have been lonely for a long time and having a companion is fun! Yes, it is fun.
- Almost everyone who has been betrayed at some point desires some validation from a member of the opposite sex that they are "worthy of love". Being with someone right now really does help to fill that need for validation, doesn't it?
- All relationships deserve an honest start and a fair chance at success. Can't we all say that being in a relationship with another takes time, energy and some amount of work? After having a failed relationship, wouldn't you want to start another relationship giving yourself the very best chances of success by having 100% of your energy and efforts focused on the new person?
- You already are admitting that you are getting sucked into more than you are ready to handle right now. How can that not lead to more heartache and disappointment further down the road?

I am not trying to moralize, philosophise or anything like that. I am trying to point to things you know but are choosing to ignore.

Ask yourself these questions:
- Am I lonely and enjoying the attention from my lady or am I truly and deeply in love?
- Does it feed my ego to have her desiring me so much? Am I also desiring her in an equal fashion for the right reasons?
- Do I still devote a significant amount of time and energy trying to figure out what happened in my previous relationship? Do I understand what part I paid to the demise of my marriage? Have I formulated a plan to address my own issues? Have I stuck by the plan I formulated and is it working?
- Have I given my children a sufficient amount of my time and energy to help them with their own issues and healing?
- Am I in a financially sound position to even consider being in another relationship?

There are other questions, but the point is to give yourself a reality test and see how you score, Wallace.

If you are not ready to be THAT serious, then don't. If your lady won't wait for you to be ready, then she is NOT the one. If you want to date and have fun, do so. But, don't do what so many WS's do - use a relationship with this lady to mask and distract you from other issues you need to be dealing with!

Wallace, I have been divorced over 3 years now. I have been seeing my guy almost since then. I knew him for several years before I divorced. He and I started as friends, then companions and then it built to love. I am sorry if this seemed like a bombshell to ya'll, but in truth we have discussed this for quite a number of months. The most important thing to us both was to have sufficient time: time for my healing and then time for us to get to know each other on a deeper level. You know what we say about the WS, well much of that is true about any new relationship! In the beginning, the OP can do no wrong, and neither can our new love interests! It takes time to get comfortable enough with someone to let your guard down to become your natural self....not your dating persona.

You are not ready, Wallace, and you know it. You owe it to yourself, your lady, your children, your other family and friends to spend sufficient time to get to know this person better to determine if she will make a good mate for you. You owe it to the same group listed above to heal yourself sufficiently so that you may know if your feelings for her are grounded in true love and not neediness on your part. Date and have fun, but do not even seriously think of more than that right now. ALL good things are worth waiting for, Wallace..including you!

Respectfully, RMA

PS: Avondale, you are a sweetie! Pitch in and send him that can of spray, please!

Hi all!

Wallace: It's best to start out as friends. I know I am starting out as friends personally. Besides, we have been out of the dating arena for quite some time. It takes time to sharpen our skills again.

RMA: I'm glad you are back.

Me: Folks! I think I am going to have major problems with exw. She is complaining about everything I am doing as it relates to kid. She is out to get me. She is very bitter. What should I do? Avondale, in due time I will let the cat out.

I am sooo gone.

Hi All,

I don't think you will need to send that can of "Down Boy"... LOL. I already have a 5 gallon bucket of it... and I used it as bath water last night.

My "lady friend" and I went to Church service last night, and then we went to Denny's for a snack. While we were in Denny's... not only did I soak myself in "Down Boy", I found the brake pedal, as well as the emergency brake... and used them both.

Needless to say... she was not a very happy camper (and that is putting it lightly). After I indicated that I needed more time, etc.... she stated to me that "I burst her bubble". I asked her, "would you care to elaborate on that last statement"? Long story short... she said absolutely nothing... literally. I decided to end the evening... and upon departing from Denny's I asked her,"do you want me to call you tomorrow? She said, "If you want to".

So that's that for that. Needless to say, red flags went up all over the place for me.

As always... you all have given me some excellent advice concerning this.

I'm not sure where I'm headed with this. In fact, maybe I need to take a break from all of it.

I guess the question I have... is should I even call her.

RMA...

I'm still going through all of your questions... when I figure it all out... I'll post my answers.
Glad to see your still out there.

avondale...

I think my "lady friend", has some issues that she needs to clear up as bad as I do.

EC...

Great idea... using the "Down Boy"... it really works well. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

WGTT...

I also heard of a spray that is out there for the WW... It's called "Slow down girl" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Petvet...

I'm starting to realize that it's easier just being single and by yourself.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

<small>[ March 06, 2003, 11:00 AM: Message edited by: Wallace ]</small>

Hey All,

I'm back. That's the longest I have ever been in Las Vegas! Learned a lot, shopped a lot, ate a lot and slept a lot.

RMA,

Sorry to hear about your father, fathers' are very special in a girl's life.

Congratulations on your marriage, I'm not surprised, you are an awesome and wise lady. Thank you for slapping Wallace in the head while I was gone. I think he's finally got it.! LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Avondale,

I haven't heard anything else from 'H', nor have I questioned my pastor. I'm just doing what I do. God's timing is perfect, so I'm not spending a lot of time thinking about it.

WGTT

You are right about that 'spray' for WH, WW. Think it will work from a distance! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Wallace,

My, My, My I knew you were holding out on us! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Too bad the 'come clean' serum worked while I was gone, and you're on the right road, now I have no reason to harrass you. darn!

Those 'red flags' have been going up a long time, you were just blinded by the color!

Petvet

You are very welcome for the advice, anytime.

Your exw can be out to get you all she wants, it doesn't mean she will succeed. Your goal should be to nurture your son and let him know you love him and are here for him. And please, please do not bad mouth your exw to him. Funny thing about children, they don't care, she is still mommy, and you are still daddy. And don't defend yourself, it will appear as though you're doing something wrong. IMHO

Carlton Sheets, a scam artist? Shame on you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

EC,

Are you talking about 2 years after a divorce? So, if you're separated 3 years, then 2 after that?

God Bless,
relady

Hey y'all <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Relady, welcome back. In all the excitement about weddings and almost weddings, I forgot where you had gone! All I know about Vegas I got from watching CSI, lol.

Wallace , those questions from RMA are great food for thought. I'm sorry about the way it all came down when you had to "get real" last night. But it showed you a few things, I'm sure. Here's my two cent's worth:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I guess the question I have... is should I even call her.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If you call her, it may be stirring up the pot again. Your history with her has shown that she doesn't need incentive to start thinking of a future with you, and I wonder if a phone call would put that in motion again.(?) Perhaps if you feel further clarification, apology, or whatever is necessary, sending a card or email might be something to consider.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think my "lady friend", has some issues that she needs to clear up as bad as I do </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think she may have more - because of the actions that she's shown over the last few months. That does NOT mean she's a bad woman - it just means she jumped too soon into something that is way too serious to consider.

EVERYONE - I had never heard of Carleton Sheets until it was brought up on this thread. Does that mean that all of y'all are going into real estate investing??