Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 62 of 121 1 2 60 61 62 63 64 120 121
#1342834 03/07/03 09:39 AM
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 550
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 550
Hi Gang! Hope everyone is doing ok?

Petvet - I hope you are doing better since you DV day, it all comes as an emotional blow but as time goes on you realize what you just walked out of and start feeling the joy as weeks and months pass by...right now your exw feels she paraded over you but give it time she'll have to face herself and her problems, what she did to you, she'll do to someone else.

Relady - How long should a person wait? When does 2+ plus years start? Just in my opinion, but I think it depends on what you've been through and the process of it all, everybody and every case is diff, but a person should be true to themselves. To use me as an example: I've been separated from exw on my own now for 2 years, but for me its been 2 1/2 years of struggle and war, the DV was May 2002 (10 months ago), so in my case, I feel I won't truly be ready to M until another 2 years if I decided. In 1 year I feel I could start dating if need be, until then I'll just hang loose and work on me healing and start living the single life.....Also It really depends on how long your marriage was prior and what happened that it collasped, as long as you fixed you thats all that matters.

Avondale - I haven't spoke to OD since weeks ago, but she's slowly coming around, I'm sure soon as I get my act together things will be better. As far as Carlton Sheets, I got my kit that I ordered and have started studing the material, as Relady said its work involved, it's not some get rich quick scheme nor some magical instant overnight success thing, but you can become wealthy in time, as with anything what you put into it is what you get out of it. Once you know where your talent is you'll know which way to go with it. As with anything don't ever let anybody tell you what you can and can't do when you want to accomplish something because the person that is speaking to you is speaking out of their own fears, you know you better than they do. Whatever you do, do it with passion.

Wallace - I'm sure you will recover as you set the pace for you and your lady friend, I think in the end she'll respect you more and trust you more because she'll see that you just don't fall for anybody that comes you way and she'll see that any woman will have to go through a process of layers to obtain you, she'll know you're not cheap and easy....Also when she shows you some endurance you'll have more trust for her too.

As far as the 5 gallon of "Down Boy" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Maybe there's an extra strength formula out there <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I'm sure the ladies could take a dip also, LOL!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Take Care

#1342835 03/07/03 10:08 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,277
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,277
I do NOT need to dip in the "Down Boy" formula, thank you very much, LOL (at least not yet) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

#1342836 03/07/03 01:09 PM
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,697
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,697
I will post more later, but just got off phone with BIL and am overwelmed by the love and concern of WH's family (WH's 4 brothers) WOW.
They are going to attempt another intervention on WH.

Gotta get back to work. D.

#1342837 03/07/03 01:48 PM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,143
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,143
Hi All,

Hope everyone is having a good day today... the weekend is just about here.

Petvet...

When you say that your exW is out to get you... do you think she is trying to set you up to possibly have the child custody issue brought back up and into Court? Do you think she may want to obtain custody of your son, so she doesn't have to pay CS? I'm trying to get a fix on what she is attempting to do... something seems out of whack... why would she be so bitter?

Is it because she now has to live with the ramifications of all that has transpired?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

relady...

Welcome back relady, glad you made it back home safe and sound.

"Come Clean Serum"? LOL... there is all kinds of medications that I've been hit with this week... LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

The "Down Boy" and the "Come Clean Serum" are both working just fine for me at the moment. You will see why... when I attempt to answer RMA questions that she put forth as well as responding to avondale's post.

avondale...

I went ahead and called my "lady friend" yesterday. I thought it was something that needed to be done... be it good bad or indifferent.

After a very long telephone conversation... she accepted the fact that I'm not going to make any knee jerk moves... and I am going to take things at my own pace. She is willing to just date, and not expect anything more than that for the time being. She indicated that she would not want to pressure me into M, and she would wait, when I know that I am ready to make such a commitment.

So at the moment... everything is moving at the pace that I have setforth... slow... very very slow.

EC...

I think you pretty well summed up everything that I have been feeling and thinking. Trust in a relationship for me... is a huge issue that I am currently dealing with. It's going to take quite awhile for me to get to the point where I am ready to let my walls and my guard down.

RMA...

I'm still going through some of the questions that you brought forward... it's going to take me some time to give an honest answer... I really have to dig deep to come up with what is the real answer to all of your questions.

I hope everyone has a good weekend.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

#1342838 03/08/03 06:59 AM
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 510
P
Petvet Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 510
Hi all!

Wallace: Oh Boy! She got a rude awakening and did not like temperature of the water. Oh well, she will get over it, I hope or you will know that she is not a good candidate. I would not sweat it if I was you because this is a test. Down Boy?

Relady: I did not mean to knock Sheats too seriously, but his infomercials are funny because some people think that you can get rich quick. How was Vegas (one of my favorite cities)?

WGTT: Let us know what happens with intervention.

Me: Yes, I believe exw will attempt to regain custody in the future. She has already said that she is taking notes. It does not bother me. I have moved forward. I need to go over RMA's questions too.

I'm long gone.

#1342839 03/10/03 10:38 AM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,143
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,143
Hi All,

Well, as usual the weekend went by way to fast.

Petvet...

I somewhat suspected that your exW was going to try something concerning the CS issue. If you stay the course with what your doing... I don't think it should be a concern.

Me...

Well my "lady friend and I went out for dinner Friday night. I believe that between the both of us... we got everything put into perspective and straightened out.

No expectations of M at the moment... and she said she would wait for me for however long it takes.

Nothing else really new, now it's on to my taxes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I hope everyone has a great day today.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

#1342840 03/10/03 04:47 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,277
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,277
Hi Y'all,
I've had a rough weekend and today was no fun either <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . For some reason, I've been "stirred up" about my husband all weekend. Not sure why - not stirred up in the sense of anger, OR in a sense of prayer. No reason I could put my finger on.

You may recall (or not) my mom died 2 yrs ago this week, then about 3 months later my H had an EA with OW over that summer, then my son joined a political cult in early 2002, then husband told me he was leaving to pursue his PhD along with OW last summer, daughter got married in June, and H left. My father decided to build a home out of state and it's almost completed.

I've been doing fairly well, or so I thought, until we did a preliminary move today, taking the things dad didn't want to a storage unit to keep for my daughter. Whew! Remembering my mom, missing my dad (even though he doesn't move until end of month)leaving the home I grew up in and that my kids played in so much (parents in same town), all the holidays there when we were all together - geez, I'm crying as I type this. I may have to take a couple of Tylenol PM's tonight.
Anyway, had to vent, I know y'all would understand. And it does make me smile everytime I see EC's comment at the tope of the page to Wallace about "Hey Loverboy"

<small>[ March 10, 2003, 04:51 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

#1342841 03/10/03 05:16 PM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,143
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,143
Hi avondale,

My heart goes out to you, as we all have had days and weekends very similiar to what you are feeling and going through... there is nothing easy about them.

I do remember what had happened... and you are going through some triggers right now. To me... they are as hard as any part of what we have been through... sometimes worse.

When they come up... I pray to the Lord to help me get past it... and it usually subsides in short time.

Your right.... everytime I click on this thread... I see that "Loverboy" and start laughing. That was a good one EC .

Hang in there avondale... you are still on the rollercoaster ride... it just isn't so hard to ride at this point in time.

Prayers and blessings to you avondale.

Petvet, RMA, Dave, relady, EC, WGTT, FAA, ThePits, and anyone else that I might have missed...

I hope you are all doing well.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

#1342842 03/11/03 01:07 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,277
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,277
Thanks Wallace, today has gone a LOT better. I guess I know more about triggers now than I did last month when I was asking about them, huh? No fun there, for sure!

Hope everyone's week is going well <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

#1342843 03/11/03 04:45 PM
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 205
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 205
{{{{{{Avondale}}}}}

This is one of those times as I mentioned that you just want to turn yourself upside down and empty out your head! Neverending thoughts <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

My prayers are with you. Take it slow, and don't allow your thoughts to take you over. Hard, but necessary.

We're here for you.

God Bless,
relady

#1342844 03/11/03 10:52 PM
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 510
P
Petvet Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 510
Hi all!

Avondale: One of the problems you are going through now is loniness. You feel as though you have been desserted by everyone and you are on this island by yourself. Well, believe it or not, I am going through the same thing so to speak because I don't want to be around the house without anything to do because I think about the past, so kid and I get out. If I don't have any business to handle at the house, I get out and explore. You may need to do the same thing.

Wallace: Just take your time and enjoy the nice company you have in the way of your lady friend.

Relady: Where are you emotionally right now?

Me: Just trying to stay busy.

And I'm gone.

#1342845 03/12/03 10:23 AM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,143
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,143
Hi All,

avondale...

I've been having somewhat of a rough time these last couple of days myself... as I have been hit by so many triggers this past weekend... it feels like I'm taking on machine gun fire.

A number of things have come up this past month and counting for me. My 1st year D-day is in about a month... and I'm really having a hard time of it. I don't know why I am having triggers... I just know that I am (Satan's doing probably). It's like I have said before... you can't just erase from your memory all the years that you once had with your spouse. IMHO, it just doesn't work that fast or well... it takes time... a lot of time to get over all the pain and anguish that was dealt out.
Wounds that cut that deep... take time to heal and to mend. Be good to yourself, it's your time to look after yourself and heal. It's one of the many stages and a processes that we all go through.

I agree with relady and Petvet, with what they stated... you do want to turn yourself upside-down and empty your head... and feeling alone is one area that is all too common.

For me... I have been handing it to the Lord and I have been asking him to take it. These triggers come and go... some days are better than others. But I have faith in the Lord that he will see me through this. As Petvet stated... keeping busy does help. When these triggers come up... hand it to the Lord, and pray to allow him to take it away. IMHO, it's Satan that is working on you... causing confusion and such... don't allow it.

My prayers are with you, as I know the angst that you are going through... give it to the Lord, it will get better

I hope everyone is doing well.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

#1342846 03/13/03 11:21 AM
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 205
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 205
Hi All,

It's already Thursday, this week has flown by.

Petvet

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Where are you emotionally right now? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I like it better when you stick to real estate questions, those I can answer. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Today, they are fine, tomorrow they could be out of wack. It just depends on the triggers I have. I don't have nearly as many these days.

Unlike the rest of you, I haven't seen or talked to my H in 8 months. So, when and if I talk to or see him, will the emotions I think are in check come flooding out and betray me. Who Knows?

What I can tell you is that, I'm enjoying my life, making my own decisions and being the very best person that I can be without depending on anyone other than the Lord.

I say all that to say, I guess I really don't have a clue!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Wallace

Come on Wallace, step up to the plate and answer RMA's questions. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Avondale

How are you doing?

God Bless,
relady

#1342847 03/13/03 01:28 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,277
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,277
The weekend is almost here, I can smell it, LOL

Relady - You know, I think of you pretty often. I don't know if it's easier or more difficult in not seeing your H. At least I have some clue as to where my husband is heading with this separation thing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> But you don't have that, and I'm sorry! You sound like you're doing great, though, regardless of your circumstances!

Wallace , thanks again for your ongoing encouragement! I am praying more, and I do "let go and let God". He knows my needs better than I do, that's for sure.

Petvet - You're right, lonliness probably contributes to this feeling. I am trying to stay busy with constructive stuff. Now that it's almost spring, I will probably be doing more outside projects (yard/garden) which will help too. And I just found out my attic insulation has fallen down, so I can do that, LOL. Around a 60 year old house there's always something, right? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

EC - Haven't heard from you in a few days. Anything going on with you?

RMA, Dave, WGTT, FAA, ThePits, and anyone else that I might have missed, - hope all is well! Not sure who all to address anymore <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

#1342848 03/13/03 03:30 PM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,143
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,143
Hi all,

I have been deliberating over RMA's questions for awhile.

I still am not sure what the answers are... but I will try and answer them as best I can.

This computer I am on does not like to do a cut and paste for quotes real well... so we will see how well this works or doesn't work. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

This is going to be a long one... so here goes.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">- Am I lonely and enjoying the attention from my lady or am I truly and deeply in love? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is one of the questions that I was having a hard time with. I think the true answer to this questions is that I am sometimes lonely, and I do enjoy the attention that I am currently getting from my "lady friend".

I'm not truly or deeply in love with her at this point in time. I believe you have to get to know someone and learn to like them, before you can truly be in love with them. I am going to try to not make the same mistake I did in my previous marriage and marry someone that I don't believe I know almost inside and out. I want to know just exactly what makes them tick... and I want them to know just exactly how I work as well. In other words, I want no suprises.

Is it realistic to think that there will be no surpises... no probably not... but I can try to alleviate as much as I can by approaching it this way IMHO.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">- Does it feed my ego to have her desiring me so much? Am I also desiring her in an equal fashion for the right reasons? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The answer to these two questions are, no and no.

IMHO, I don't believe I really have an ego of sorts. It's kind of like pride... I lost all of that some time ago... when all of the wonderfulness in my M occurred.

Since then... I have become very aware of how sinful it is. I have learned through God's word how to be humble. It wasn't an easy transition... but I think I achieved a place that I can truly say that I have indeed humbled myself.

Are we equal in our desires for each other for the right reasons? I think only time will tell.

I know that she is in love with me... and I'm not quite at the same level of love with her as she is with me. I have a lot of baggage that I'm trying to unload...and I am still carrying around quite a bit of baggage even still. I'm working on getting rid of the remaining baggage, but it will take time to unload it all. She is aware of it, as well as I. That amongst other things, is one of the many reasons I don't want to commit to anything but just dating at this particular point in time.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">- Do I still devote a significant amount of time and energy trying to figure out what happened in my previous relationship? Do I understand what part I paid to the demise of my marriage? Have I formulated a plan to address my own issues? Have I stuck by the plan I formulated and is it working? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">There isn't a day that goes by that I don't ponder the above questions... I have run my "M" through my head from day one to the present everyday... and as I write this I can truly say that I don't understand what part I played in the demise of my "M". I wasn't perfect make no mistake about that... but to have a "M" take off in the direction that mine did... I really don't haave the answer for that one. Towards the end of my "M", I did in fact shut down on her... but the damage was already done. With all that had happened... I really didn't think I could of made a go of it. That was until I found this site... unfortunately, I found this site too late.

So now I am applying these principals to my new relationship... and my relationship with my "lady friend" is far better than I would of ever imagined. Too bad I couldn't of used these principals in my "M". Would it of made I difference in the outcome... I really don't know.

I have formulated a plan for my own development.

I'm using the Bible as my instruction book... and I'm trying to follow it as best I can. I stumble from time to time. But I pick myself back up and continue my walk with the Lord. I take each day one day at a time... and I try to do the best I can each and every day.

I'm not always successful, but I just keep on trying to improve myself in the eyes of the Lord, and with the people I am associated with and care for.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">- Have I given my children a sufficient amount of my time and energy to help them with their own issues and healing? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is another grey area for me... I'm not sure how long their healing process will take. I don't think any of us do. To tell you the truth... I'm not sure if they will ever fully recover from what happened completely. We will all probably wear the scars from what happened for the rest of our lives IMHO.

My children always know that I will be there for them until the day I die. I'm still the same Dad that they have always known... that's one constant that I tried to keep stable through out this whole ordeal.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
- Am I in a financially sound position to even consider being in another relationship?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well I think most of you know what kind of financial hit I took.

But... to answer your question... I don't think finances should determine... or be a barometer for a relationship or how much you care for someone. If your with the right person... it shouldn't be a determining factor... even though it is one of the biggest single causes for the downfall for many marriages.

IMHO, I'm sure there are many people who are poor that have very successful marriages... probably more so than people with wealth, but that's JMHO. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

So to answer the question... I never looked at a relationship in terms of dollars and cents. If I did, I would be doing a disservice to both her and I. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

That's probably not the answer you were looking for... LOL... But in terms of finances... yes, I am capable of fullfilling that need. But I wouldn't want someone that has their priorities in that area.

Well, there you have it! I know some of the answers are probably vague. It's not intentional... I'm a better speaker than a writer... LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hope everyone has a great day today.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

#1342849 03/13/03 04:43 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,277
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,277
Wallace,
You were pretty brave to answer RMA's questions like you did. I think they were great questions! But I have a question for you too: It is obvious that you and your "lady friend" are at different stages, of a sort. Is she wrestling with some of the triggers, etc. that you are? If not, how come? Has she gone through any of the grieving process? I thought you had said she was divorced not long before you, which makes me wonder if perhaps she isn't as attuned to her emotions and feelings as you are to yours. If not, couldn't that come back to haunt her (and therefore, you) down the road? Just food for thought <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

We need to come up with an ID for your "lady friend" too. Maybe LF ? Who was the love of William Wallace's life? Hmm....

#1342850 03/14/03 10:52 AM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,143
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,143
Hi all,

Well I lost my post... the MBers gremlin got it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

That's what I get... trying to cut and paste on this old computer here at work... LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">We need to come up with an ID for your "lady friend" too. Maybe LF ? Who was the love of William Wallace's life? Hmm.... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I like "LF", that works for me... I'll stick with that.

To the best of my knowledge... and I believe from a historical standpoint... William Wallace was never married. In the movie, "Braveheart"... I believe his wife's name was "Murron McCauly"(sp.)

It is my understanding that what finally spurred William Wallace to take arms up against the English to secure Scotland's freedom, was due to the English killing his father. He also had three Uncles (not just one) that helped in teaching him how to read, speak several languages, and fight.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have a question for you too: It is obvious that you and your "lady friend" are at different stages, of a sort. Is she wrestling with some of the triggers, etc. that you are? If not, how come? Has she gone through any of the grieving process? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"LF" is in fact wrestling with some of the triggers and issues that she was left with concerning her "M". Her "H" was having multiple affairs for most of her married life, and she did "D" him one week before I divorced.

She has gone through the grieving process, and IMHO, she is still going through the cycles. How long will it last? Only she can answer that.

So since we are both still dealing with the baggage that we still carry... we have both decided to just date and see where it takes us.

Maybe "M" in the future... maybe not. Only time will tell.

Petvet...

Haven't heard from you for awhile... I'm getting nervous... LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

relady...

Can you feel Spring time in the air? This is my favorite time of year.. Spring!

I hope everyone has a good day today and a great weekend.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

#1342851 03/14/03 11:17 AM
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 205
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 205
Hey All,

Well it's Friday once again, I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Avondale

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't know if it's easier or more difficult in not seeing your H. At least I have some clue as to where my husband is heading with this separation thing. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think there is still one thing that you guys continue to miss about me and that is:

My complete and unwavering trust is in the Lord. The only thing I need to do is pray and believe He is working everything out to my good. Even if I were in contact with my H, do you think the clues of where I'm headed would be accurate? I think not. Circumstances are not always what they seem. Are you any happier for having a clue? Do you believe he is giving accurate clues in his state of mind? A person who does what our WH's have done is in 'darkness' and they don't have a 'clue' as to what they are doing.

I want all my 'clues' to come from the Lord. And He gives me just enough information to take the next step. When the Lord gave Joseph the dream of the palace, Did He show him the pit? NO I wonder why? It probably would have changed everything. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Without this experience, I would not have grown as I have, or have the relationship with the Lord that I have. If He felt I needed to talk to or see my H, He would make it happen. His timing is perfect. It's when we force things that we experience hurt, and I'm not into pain. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

So, no sorrys' accepted, I'm <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> .

Wallace

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">and as I write this I can truly say that I don't understand what part I played in the demise of my "M". </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If you sit down and prayerfully ask the Lord that question, I guarantee you'll get an answer. These are not usually 'surface' answers. He is the only one that knows what's buried deep in our hearts.

When my part was revealed to me, I fell on my face in tears! It's things we try to forget, hide. Sometimes it's in our childhood. It could be a flaw that we never acknowledged. But trust me, when it's exposed, you'll feel such relief and wholeness you have never known before.

OK, soapbox time over, Everyone have a great and wonderful weekend.

God Bless,
relady

#1342852 03/14/03 04:59 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,277
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,277
Relady,
You know that sometimes when one is corresponding online (especially with people one doesn't know personally) it is easy to misunderstand and/or misconstrue comments typed. I think that must be what has happened here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">quote from Avondale:
I don't know if it's easier or more difficult in not seeing your H. At least I have some clue as to where my husband is heading with this separation thing.

Relady's response:I think there is still one thing that you guys continue to miss about me and that is: My complete and unwavering trust is in the Lord. The only thing I need to do is pray and believe He is working everything out to my good. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My complete trust is in the Lord also. However, the fact that I sometimes have to interact with or hear/read in the paper of my H could be and is used by the enemy to make my faith waver and at the very least get my eyes off Him for that moment. All I meant was that if I didn't interact with H, maybe that would make my stand easier (then again, maybe not - which is my point). I certainly didn't mean any disrespect to you. I think we are all trying to do the best we can where we are at right now, in our walks with God.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Even if I were in contact with my H, do you think the clues of where I'm headed would be accurate? I think not. Circumstances are not always what they seem. Are you any happier for having a clue? Do you believe he is giving accurate clues in his state of mind? A person who does what our WH's have done is in 'darkness' and they don't have a 'clue' as to what they are doing.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You're exactly right. I forget that sometimes, and thanks for pointing it out to me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

EC, ok, I'm officially worried now, haven't heard from you all week!
Have a great weekend, EVERYONE!

#1342853 03/14/03 05:58 PM
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 205
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 205
Avondale

First let me say, I am not easily offended, and I never took your comment as being disrespectful. We all do the same thing, we answer and advise to the best of our knowledge. When I say 'missed' I mean what is written. Of course you don't know me personally! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> At least I have some clue as to where my husband is heading with this separation thing. But you don't have that, and I'm sorry! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is the entire phrase that prompted my response. Doesn't this mean you're sorry I don't have a 'clue' as to where my H is heading with this separation. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Petvet,

Do you see what you started? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Wallace

Yes, Spring is in the air and I love it. I'm going to a birthday party in San Diego next weekend and I'm renting a convertible for the occasion. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Everyone

Have a great weekend.

God Bless,
relady

Page 62 of 121 1 2 60 61 62 63 64 120 121

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 118 guests, and 43 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Gastelumattorney, Demonolatry, Jose E. Martin, Frank Pro, annonymous
71,895 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Really Struggling
by BrainHurts - 11/15/24 03:48 PM
20 appointments and $1000’s later…
by IrishGreen - 10/30/24 06:20 PM
Happening again
by jah - 10/29/24 10:00 AM
I grounded my wife - am I proceeding correctly?
by Mature - 10/27/24 02:05 PM
How Do I Tell Him I Don’t Love the engagement ring
by BrainHurts - 10/22/24 09:30 AM
Children
by BrainHurts - 10/19/24 03:02 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,615
Posts2,323,460
Members71,895
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5