Hi All,

I hope everyone had a good Fourth of July weekend.

EC...

That sounds like maybe you might get a reprieve on your CS issue. It looks like someone is looking after you on this one.

avondale...

Glad to hear that you had a good weekend... speaking of weekends... my YD had the strangest occurance this past weekend.

She had just started working for the summer at this grocery store, which is just right up the street from where we live. At about 8:00 p.m. that night, while my daughter was helping people at the only check out stand that was open at that time... low and behold... who walks up?

Her Mother!!!

Now get this... her mother didn't even acknowledge her... at all. No hello how are you... nothing!!!

Needless to say... my daughter just bagged her food, and told her to have a nice day.

My daughter said she felt like something right out of the "Twilight Zone". She still can't believe it. Her mom has not spoken to her or seen her or anyone else in our household... up until then, for almost a year and half.

I just told my YD that their is evidently something wrong mentally with your mother... that it wasn't worth concerning yourself with... and that if she would like to talk about it, we could talk... but I probably could not give her a logical explanation for her mother's actions.

Now here is the really strange part... yes it gets even stranger. Her mother lives on the farthest side of the City you could live... it's probably a good 1/2 hour or better drive to our house and/or grocery store she was shopping in.
So what is she doing shopping for groceries in a store that she always contended that she hated?

This whole ordeal has been by far... the strangest thing I have ever come across.

Needless to say I'm still up to my eyeballs in all the legal and financial mess she is still trying to throw my way.

Aside from that everyone is doing pretty good. My Son's Birthday is today, so I'm going to try to have a nice Birthday party for him tonight... dinner with the family and my G/F will be there as well. Then we will open gifts at our home.

Well everyone have a great day today.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi Wallace, sorry to hear about your ordeal with your exw, I wonder if mine would be the same if I saw her, It must be return of the exww envasion. My exw called me and asked if I got my letter from the court then said she's going to request they credit me my money I claim she took 1 year ago when I gave her that check that she used for her own purpose. What's funny she said she don't remember anything about it but she'll do it anyway since I have a check memo CS and proof to the court. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I brought attention of those extortion papers she gave me 6 months ago up in court she probably thinks the court may want to look at this now, so she's back tracking now....However before she hung up she called me a @@&&#*(*&#&!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Ouch <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Uhcha, Uhcha <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Wallace, I am incredulous, so I'm sure you must be a zillion times moreso. You're right, your exww has mental problems. The only other reason I could think of would be she was over there to see her old haunts, or had heard YD was working at the store and wanted to see how far she could go with being that close to her. (Almost like what a stalker might think, I suppose.) I hope your YD is OK and not dwelling on it too much. That occurance could really add more rejection in her mind and we certainly don't want that!

Hi all! Once again, I apologize for my absence from you guys and gals. I've not had as much time to hit the web like I would like.

Relady: How was the Bahamas?

Avondale: I hope you are doing well. Did anything happen on yesterday?

EC: You may want to consult an attorney to see what you can do to reduce your CS payments because of the evidence that money does not go to the kids and your ex seems to be living off the hog. Also, I can tell you are romantic by your gestures and words. Woman should be swarming towards you.

Wallace: I know what you mean as far as the tax issue is concern.

Me: Yes, Buddy and I are getting along well. We just spent a couple of days in Florida with our kids. She is a good woman. I think my exw is going to get very angry when she finds out that my Buddy accompanied me on vacation. As a matter of fact, exw showed up at 6:45 am on my door step unannouced. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> She has been doing some odd things lately trying to check up on me. This week is going to be interesting. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> She said that I am trying to bring another woman into the house. I wish she would stay out of my business.

And I'm gone!

Hi Petvet,

Glad to hear from you... Nothing was meant by those words just a ouch <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> however a good dip of downboy will never hurt for the ladies <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

See ya!

OK,
I am thinking everyone here needs some "downboy" except me, since I'm Ms Celibate <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> In fact, one dip won't do...You guys need to soak in it, especially Petvet, LOL

Relady , where are you? Still being a Bahama mama?

Still nothing new here, just waiting to see what's next in my life. Catch y'all later!

Hey All,

I hope everyone had a good 4th. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I haven't been to the Bahamas yet, I'll be leaving on the 19th. This summer class is killing me. All homework has to be done before I leave and when I return I have a final. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> So, that means taking my book with me and trying to get in a little studying. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

EC

What a testimony! Prayer does work doesn't it? Just sit back and watch.

Wallace

Your daughter is one awesome young lady! To be able to keep her composure during one of the more horrible experiences in her life! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />
Your wife is definitely a mental case! It surely wasn't because she didn't recognize her. Or maybe drugs have distorted her vision, LOL

Avondale

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I am thinking everyone here needs some "downboy" except me, since I'm Ms Celibate </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Don't include me in the everyone, I'm Ms Celibate2 <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I was in Ohio last week. Are you further down the east coast? My family lives there. I rented a Mustang Convertible, had a great time. However at the end of five days, I was glad to give it back. It's so low, I sometimes just rolled out of it!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

It's been a year for me now and nothing is new!! I'm not sure you remember, but my friend whose husband left her in September, has filed for divorce. She's hired a top notch attorney and moving on!

Petvet

Aren't you just having a swell time? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> No wonder you wanted my condo in the Bahamas!! Of course you had separate rooms. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

God Bless,
relady

Hi All,

You know what I need, and it's not "Downboy"... it's sleep!!!

I have been so busy these last several weeks... it has been unbelievable.

Well I finally got all the tax info put together and mailed out today... what a pain this has all been... and it just keeps on coming. You would think that things would settle down and taper off to somewhat of whatever normal is anymore... but it just doesn't happen.

My YD is still having a hard time dealing with what happened concerning her mother... it is hard to believe that a mother could be so callous... but my personal opinion is, is that my exW has some real issues that she needs to deal with.

Well I hope everyone has a good day today... I know I'm going to try.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi all,
Not a whole lot going on here. I knew that hubby was renting out his local apt. while he's out of town at school, but today I found out that when he comes back to town on weekends he's been staying with - get this - HIS PARENTS! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
Now this doesn't surprise me, since after all, he IS their son. However, I know in his mind this is one more piece of "validation", that leaving me for another woman is OK and that everyone has gotten over it and is accepting his decision as "right". (I know they don't, but hey, he's their son/brother). Ironically, these are the parents that he scoffed as being "not sophisticated" and wouldn't invite them to hear some of his concerts, LOL

Wallace , how's your daughter doing these days? Any more conversations about seeing her mom?

Relady - I hope you're hanging in there with your class. Does it help to keep your mind busy and off the circumstances? Too bad you have to take your classwork on your trip! I live in NC, btw.

Petvet - You mentioned that your exw was acting weird. Anything more happen yet? Is it possible that the fact you went on vacation with your buddy would conflict any divorce agreement regarding custody of your son?

EC - Is there any more update regarding your papers and back money from your exw? Do your daughters have plans to come see you this summer?

WGTT - I haven't seen you lately, maybe you're still sailing in the Atlantic <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

<small>[ July 11, 2003, 11:01 AM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Hi Everyone,

Happy Friday!!

Avondale - I haven't heard anything yet, the court date is not until Aug. I feel like I've been in court for years now but I've learned a lot. I never knew exw was such a gold digger. I'm all for a person getting there equal share of what they built together. What's more interesting is I never contested anything from the start, I've been on the defense for my soul...

My kids are not coming for the summer. In fact at this point I've lost hope of ever seeing them again for another 5 years.

It's like this, exw has put it in there head, I'm pure scum and some deadbeat father. They have all kinds of thoughts but none true. Until they grow up and start wanting to know the truth and a relationship, I can't keep chasing them, YD will be 18 in 3 months, OD will be 20 in 6 months. Once I'm done with child support in 10 months, everything God has for me will manifest because without money your dreams and visions are hindered and limited, yet during this time I have developed my plans and discipline.

My goal is to be debt free before the end of 2004 in which I am still getting there. Right now my kids see me as not having anything, them not knowing what exw has put me through, but oneday soon, they'll see the wealthy guy I was held back from becoming as the enemy tried to steal everything he could.

Joseph went from the pit to the palace and Job had twice as much as before in the end.

Take Care.

Hey All,

I hope everyone is having a great weekend. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I'm busy working trying to get things together before I leave next Saturday. No Cell Phone, no pager, no email, HOORAY Only beach, water and sun <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Wallace

I'm glad you found a solution to your tax problem. When the IRS gets on your case, there is no let up until they get what they want!

Have you thought of talking to your exw and asking why she did what she did besides being mental? There may be an answer that will help your YD better understand what happened.

Avondale

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I hope you're hanging in there with your class. Does it help to keep your mind busy and off the circumstances? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Funny you should ask. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I was thinking the other day that I have been separated one year, and thats really the only circumstance. I don't know what he's doing or who he's doing, so God is good and He has truly given me a peace that surpasses all understanding. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> And life goes on. As long as I keep my thoughts under control, I'm fine.

School keeps me busy, however; my business is my highest priority right now.

EC

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Right now my kids see me as not having anything, them not knowing what exw has put me through, but oneday soon, they'll see the wealthy guy I was held back from becoming as the enemy tried to steal everything he could </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't think they see you that way at all. I'm sure they see what your exw is doing and has put you through.

Sometimes it's when they become parents. But remember, God will restore what the locusts have eaten!! In His time, not ours. He definitely has a plan for you, just keep believing Him.

Well back to work <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

God Bless,
relady

Hi Everyone!

Hi Avondale and Relady

Praise the Lord!!

My weekend was pretty good, had a chance to sort some things out. I was looking back at some notes I wrote down last year during some study time and guess what " The biblical root word for ' Divorce' is 'Destroy'. The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy. As you see in marriage the enemy works in a process...

First: Kill - Plants the wondering eye and deceptive imaginations...Greener grass syndrome)

Second: Steal - The secret luring away to touch what they imagined..the illusion, lust for others has consumed them, lost from reality and self, la, la land, becomes someone else, I don't love you anymore, we're different, not compatible, seperation...

Third - Destroy - Divorce, broken spirits, wounded souls, extreme guilt and shame.....

We the betrayed spouse may feel the effects of there actions and captivity but if we keep our focus on the Lord through the storm we will be victorious through the battle....

Hi all,

I hope everyone had a great weekend. I tried to get as much done as I could this weekend... but I still have a long way to go.

avondale...

My YD hasn't really said much about her Mom for quite a few days now. I think she has come to the realization that in her mind, her Mom really wasn't a very good mother... in fact she made a comment last night, that she wished my G/F would of been her mother... all of a sudden she and my G/F are getting along rather well. In fact they are both going together to get their hair done sometime this week. My YD is a real trooper... she has been through quite a bit since this all started.

She is concentrating on her summer job for now. I think it's good that she is working... keeps the mind from wandering.

relady...

I think it's great that your getting ready to go on vacation. I was going to take off for about a week... but there is just too many things up in the air right now... especially with the IRS.

I filed the necessary paper work with the IRS, and hopefully they will relieve me of the responsibilty of having to pay my exW's share of her unclaimed taxes for the 2001 year.

As far as talking to my exW... that from my end is totaly out of the question. There is absolutely nothing that I would want to discuss with her. Even if I was to talk with her... I would only more lies and deceit coming from out of her mouth... I've had my fill of that. She is in fact a pathalogical liar... always was... and unfrotunately always will be.

Have fun on the beach when you go on vacation!!!

EC...

It's unfortunate that your probably not going to see your daughters for quite some time. I'm very sorry to hear that things did not work out for you concerning seeing them this summer.

From all appearances it does sound like your exW is not in anyway encouraging them to come visit you.

I believe that in time... your daughter's will come to the realization that you were not the bad guy in all of this. It happened with my kids... it took my kids a few years to sort it all out, but eventually they saw everything in it's true color.

Petvet...

O.K., I think you maybe having too good of a time now, that's why we haven't heard from you... LOL

Have a good day all.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

<small>[ July 14, 2003, 10:21 AM: Message edited by: Wallace ]</small>

Hi all! I don't want to sound like a old record, but I have been trying to uncover myself from all the workload of being a single parent and maintaining a household and of course keeping Buddy happy.

Wallace: I need to go back and find out what happened to your younger daughter. I would recommend taking some time off for vacation even if it's a small trip. It seems like your GF is jelling with your family well.

Avondale: As we have said before, blood is thicker than water. Your in-laws are probably between a rock and a hard place. I understand where you are coming from.

Relady: I envision you on the beach tanning with those books in your hands. Don't get mad and toss the books in the ocean. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

EC: In spite of what your exw does to look, keep moving forward. Act on your dreams one small step at a time.

Me: In response to Avondale or Relady, we did sleep in separate rooms. Remember the kids were with us. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Buddy's daughter has been watching us like a hawk whenever I come over. She told her mom that I am going to take her mother away from her. My attempts to reassure her have gone unheeded. Daughter has become extra protective of her mom since our trip. I don't know what's going on.

Later.

Wallace: I read the incident between your daughter and her mom. You don't think your exw is checking on you, do you? I can imagine your exw not speaking to her daughter. She was probably in shock. What can her mom say and maintain a straight face?

Later.

Petvet - Thanks for clarifying your vacation arrangements, it's a load off my mind! I would imagine Buddy's daughter's protectiveness is normal of a child that age. Time will lessen that, I'm sure.

Wallace - That is great that your YD and g/f are getting along better now. Does the same hold true for your other kids and g/f ? What about g/f's kids and you?

Relady - I know you're counting the days - 4 days until you leave! Lucky you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I'll be praying anti-hurricane prayers for ya!

EC - I'm glad you realize that one day your kids WILL know the truth about you, money, and exw. Fortunately it's not what people, even your kids, think of you that counts, and you realize what is really important.

Me - Yesterday was my birthday. Got a lot of cards from friends. Didn't get card (with usual $25 check) from in-laws, although they did call me. Actually I'm glad in a way that they took the initiative to not do it, so I wouldn't feel bad. So I guess things are winding down, or at least settling somewhat, in that relationship. And hubby left a card and a gift of fancy tea in the mailbox. Brand of tea: Dragon seed, for rejuvenation, LOL He knows I love tea, but what's up with THAT? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Btw, I put the unopened card in the closet where the unopened Christmas gifts from him are. Just can't go there emotionally, yet.

Hope everyone's week is going well!

<small>[ July 16, 2003, 11:36 AM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Hi Everyone...

Happy Birthday Avondale <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I guess another year has come and gone but more than anything you're alive and well!!....

I don't know why your hubby is leaving cards, tea, etc...who knows? I'm amazed he's staying with his mother, I guess she's probably short of changing his diaper too... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You stay strong and enjoy life, one day you'll be able to open those gifts and card without any hurt feelings attached at all.

Hi all,

Petvet...

Hang in there... starting a new relationship IMHO is quite a bit of work... especially if there is kids involved. It's a balancing act for sure... and I learn something new everyday due to it. But it gets better as time goes on.

The children start to realize that life as they new it has changed... and the situation they find themselves in is not a fluke. I think they worry about the stability of their lives and how it may or may not change with someone new in the picture. They have all been through enough unpleasant changes... and the last thing they want... is another unpleasant change.

I think you will find, the more stable your relationship is with your buddy... the more accepting her child will become of you.

avondale...

"Happy Birthday"!!!

I have to agree with EC... what's up with that? the tea and all... look at it this way though... at least he thought of you on your Birthday, so it can't be all bad

I have given up on trying to follow the actions of a WS, only because their actions are so illogical it will drive you insane trying to make any sort of sense out of it.

I guess, just try to accept whatever comes your way based on what they do or don't do, and don't put much thought towards your WH's actions... it's not worth it.

EC...

How are you making out with your CS issue? Mine is just floundering in the breeze. Of course, if the shoe was on the other foot... I would probably be in jail for doing the things my exW has done.

My belief in the Judicail system after all this went down is at about zero.

Have you heard anything more from your daughters?

Me...

I'm still stuck in the same old, same old, situations... so nothing really new on my end.

To answer your question avondale... my OS and my YD get along very well with my G/F at this point, and I get along well with all of her kids. So far, so good at this point in time.

My OD has not been in touch with any of us since "Father's Day", and she missed my son's "Birthday which was on July the 7th. So right at the moment... she has dropped a few more notches as far as me wanting to continue communicating with her. I do believe that she is in communication with my exW. It's my belief that my OD is telling my exW everything that is going on in my family's life, but she is not willing to give us the apartment number of where my exW lives so the CS enforcement people can deal with her.

Needless to say... I'm not very happy with her at this point in time.

relady...

When you get to the beach... send us a postcard and let us know how your doing!!!

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi Everyone

Hi Wallace,

I spoke to my YD over the weekend she seem to want to talk a little, we talked a little about her future of going to college and preparing. I'm so amazed when I talk to her about logical living her mind is so blocked by the financial struggle. Example: I say how about doing this or that? Her Immediate answer before even thinking is " That cost money, we don't have any money"...I was like gee? It was such simple things I was suggesting.....

I guess living in an empty house over time and never having money will put you in that frame of mind....

Hey, I see you're about on the same path with your OD..Mine treats me the same way, she's still distant...

I feel when I go to court in Aug, this will be the last time before the end in May 2004 and I can put a close to this part of the DV...by then I'll just have about 8 months left of CS...I may just throw a big kool-aid and soda bash celebration in May...I'm more excited not for the sake of not paying CS anymore but being free from under the legal tie to exw...AT this point if anybody messed up in payments whether my employer or the courts I could go to jail..That's not fair when you were a family man and love your kids and a WW has her affairs and gets you caught up in the legal system.

I can't wait for the Aug court date because I know that was a total act and miracle of God that they want to rehear the case. I thought it was done and over and accepted my unjust punishment, but we will see what happens..

Ps 18:

17 He delivered me from my strong enemy, and from them which hated me: for they were too strong for me. 18 They prevented me in the day of my calamity: but the LORD was my stay. 19 He brought me forth also into a large place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me.
20 The LORD rewarded me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands hath he recompensed me.

Hi all!

Avondale: Happy Belated Birthday! The gift fron hubby might not be a bad thing. If you are not going to open the gifts and cards, just send them back to him. I know you are wondering what inside the cards. In my opinion, don't have the cards around if you don't want to read the messages in them. Sending the cards back will send a message to him. That's opinion. He does not know that the cards have not been opened. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Wallace: Just as I thought. I knew that the encounter between exw and yd was not an accident. Your od probably is feeding info to your exw.

Relady: Last chance, do you really want to enjoy the hot steamy sun of the Bahamas? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> I would be more than happy to go for you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Besides, you have studying to do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Later.