EC - Happy belated birthday! How did Wallace remember???!? I’m glad you are entering “another phase of life” which should be much happier for you. We know you certainly deserve it. What are you going to do with all the extra money now? LOL

Petvet -Are the “things with exw that aren’t going so well” affecting you? Hopefully they’re just affecting her. Are you still getting along with buddy’s daughter?

Monte - Reading your post, one thought kept coming to me and I’m sure it’s crazy...but I kept thinking “she’s acting like a pregnant woman”. Now, don’t laugh! Obviously there are similarities in the two situations (affairs and pregnancies) which are due to “emotional roller coasters”. If I were you, just hang in there until you absolutely CANNOT stand it any more. I think you have a lot more patience than you realize right now. It could be that all the good you’re doing in Plan A is causing her to waver more and more, hence the uncertainty of her actions about everything. And her going to the counselor is a great sign - made even better because she shared it with you.

Regarding your vacation...have you asked your wife at all to attend? Either she’ll go, and it would be a chance to continue to Plan A her, or she won’t go, and you can spend some quality time with your son. What do you have to lose? Is there any concern over her accusing you of kidnapping him if you’re in a separation mode?

Wallace - Hope you had a great weekend <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi all!

MonteHall: Your w is acting very weird. She knows that she is not right. She is trying to play a role to make herself feel good inside but ir is not working. As far as asking w to go on vacation with you and kid, I guess you have to at this point. Play your cards and put the ball in her court.

Avondale: Well, exw showed out at a teacher/parent conference last week, and accused me of stabbing her in the back in front of teachers. I have not spoken to her since that meeting.

Later.

<small>[ November 03, 2003, 11:15 AM: Message edited by: MONTEHALLL ]</small>

Monte
OK, forget the pregnancy comment, it was just to point out that there are reasons for women being on emotional roller coasters. Another reason is drug influence (even doctor-prescribed) and/or alcohol. Without knowing your history and every single detail, it APPEARS that your wife is emotionally torn, and is coping with her feelings through alcohol when she wants to. Torn by regret for her affair? Or torn by wanting to get out of her marriage? Torn because she doesn’t like what she’s become? And the list goes on...

You are to be commended for realizing that talking with her while she’s in that condition would only lead to a fight, and for “doing the 180". Good for you!

Could it be that she is overmedicated? Double dose??? Have you asked her doctor about that?

Actually, despite the problems, I think there is a whole lot of hope in your situation, once your wife gets through her depression/ emotional problems. Which brings a whole other set of questions...
Is she willing to face any problems she has? Are you willing to support her through that? Maybe you should post something about this on the “General Questions” or “Emotional Needs” forum boards.

Do what you want about your vacation...but I can’t help but wonder what it says to your wife (and your son, for that matter) if you go without her. Would you even discuss it with her first?

<small>[ November 03, 2003, 12:18 PM: Message edited by: MONTEHALLL ]</small>

Hi All,

Just a quick drop in... I have been pretty busy.

I haven't had a chance to catch up on everything going on yet... but I will.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Monte - Did I miss something? Why are all your posts deleted from THIS thread? I hope you haven't been offended by anything posted, especially if I was the one who said it. Is it such that you would want us to delete the responses that we made to your posts?

Petvet, EC, Wallace - I have surgery tomorrow, and am a little apprehensive, having been in hospital previously only for 24 hours with each child's birth. I probably won't be online until the weekend at the earliest. Would appreciate prayers for quick recovery and no surprises for the doctors <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ November 03, 2003, 02:59 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Hi all!

Avondale: I will be prayer for you. I hope everything goes well today.

MonteHall: How is everything going?

Wallace: What's up with you?

Later.

Hi All,

It's been a pretty hectic last few weeks... and I'm not sure if it's slowing down or not... but we will see.

avondale...

I know your not able to read this... but my prayers are with you and I will pray for your speeedy recovery.

May God bless you and be with you always. I want to make sure my little sister is doing well.

Let us know as soon as you can how you are doing.

Petvet...

How is it going on your end? I'm still fighting issues that has my exW all over it.

You would think that after all of this time, I would be done with her... but no! She's like a haunting

I don't know what happened with Monte, but I think my exW is lurking in here. My YD asked me the other day why I wasn't posting in MB's anymore... and I told her, "I was... but I've been pretty busy".

The strange thing about it all, is how would my YD know if I was posting or not... I usually post when I'm at work and not at home.

Well anyway... I find it very strange to say the least.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi All,

Avondale - I hope you are doing alright, my prayers are with you.

Wallace - That's interesting your ex might be lurking here. I'm sure many do but they don't post. It's strange how they left in betrayal with OM/OW and is still searching for fulfillment.

<small>[ December 02, 2003, 10:43 AM: Message edited by: EverlastingCompassion ]</small>

Hi All,

Still saying prays for you avondale on a speedy recovery. God is watching over you, so your in good hands.

EC...

You know... it's ironic... but at my Church they were going through many of those same scriptures.

In fact, sometime ago, they said a study was done, and in this study they found that more Christian families, percentage wise... had more failures in their marriage due to adultery than non-Christians. Needless to say I found it quite surprising.

It wasn't until it happened to me... that I realized how we have reached epidemic proportions concerning divorce and adultery.

How are you making out EC?

Anything new going on?

Petvet...

How is everything going with you and your buddy.

Me...

Well if my exW is lurking... maybe she should take the time to read everyones stories. Maybe it might give her some insight of the type of pain a WWS is capable of dealing out.

Well everyone... I hope all of you have good weekend.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi all! Just checking in.

Avondale: How are you doing? I hope evrything is going well.

Wallace: I heard the same statistics about Christians and divorce. It make you wonder. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> It kinda funny. A couple of days ago, buddy and i were looking at the program "Cheaters" from our separate residences. It was so ironic that none of the people who got caught cheating had any remorse for what they had done. As a matter of fact, they appeared proud of what they had done. It is all about good and evil. Simple as that.

Me: I am doing great. I am thankful.

Later.

I'm back <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ...not sure where MonteHall went to. My surgery went well, and I'm home recovering for next couple of weeks. This unfortunately has given me way too much time to think. (I already was pondering my life prior to surgery (hence the "how much do I tell hubby" and "should I change my will before surgery" questions.) So now I'm wondering just how long I can stay at peace being "in marital limbo". On one hand, I think I could last forever, but the other considerations are things not brought up in separation agreement, like the fact that our house and property is beginning to fall apart and devaluing itself as I watch. Do I pay for upgrading projects myself, or do I ask hubby? If I ask, will that spur him to divorce? ARRGH Also, I have found out that he is behind in making a payment to home equity loan (which is spelled out in our separation agreement as his responsibility). I've called him once, he still hasn't paid in almost 2 months now. It's getting a little bit more complicated here. I don't want to rock the separation boat, yet I can't let my financial reputation be ruined by him either. Anyway, just rambling around here. Hope y'all are well!

Hi All,

avondale...

I'm glad to hear that your back and I hope everything is going well for you considering what you just went through.

I hope my prayers helped you while you were going through your surgery.

Hopefully you will be doing back flips in a couple of weeks.

You bring up some pretty good questions with the house and all.

Is it in your seperation agreement that you split home expenses?

I would contact your attorney in regards to the past due House payments. That's something you don't want to let falll behind.

I would make the payments on your own to keep things current if you can, and have your attorney attempt to get the back payments from him, if you chose. It may cmplicate things... but certain things need to be taken care of... and that's not one area I would let go.

Glad to see your back and in good spirits.

Is your daughter with you now?

Take good care of yourself.

Petvet...

My G/F is down with the flu, and I am fighting back myself. So I stayed home Saturday night and I saw that movie palying... and I said to myself... I'm not going to watch it.

So what did I watch instead? A movie that itold myself I was not ever going to watch... but I went ahead and did anyway.

The movie is called "Unfaithful". I'm sure you have heard about it, as well as everyone else.

Well I watched it.. and it was quite amazing that my exW used a lot of the same stunts as the woman that was having the "A" did... imagine that.

Well it gave me some insight in how their minds work... they don't work... pure it's all about me attitude.

So that was my Movie watching experience for the week..LOL

Glad to hear that everything is going well for everyone.

I missed the Monte thing... so I don't have a clue what that was all about.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi all!

Avondale: I'm glad you are back and doing well in your recovery. Take it easy and don't worry. I knew you were going to start thinking about your situation with your illness and everything. Like Wallace said, I would get loan payment up to date to save your credit and visit your attorney. I don't think your H intends on filing for divorce because he knows that he will get kill financially, so he intends to stay separated while he lives his separate life. Only you can put a stop to this once and for all. Take care of yourself. Don't rush your recovery.

Wallace: Yep! "unfaithful" had me wondering as well.

What happened to MonteHall?


Later.

Hey all,

avondale...

How are you doing?

I hope your recovery is going well.

When you get a chance let us know how your doing.

Petvet...

Yep! that movie I think put quite a bit into perspective. It's a one time watch for me. I may watch that movie "cheaters"", but I will have to really be bored with nothing to do before I do.

I don't know what happened to Monte. He was here, and the, "Poof" he was gone.

EC...

What are you up to?

I could use some of your words of wisdom... you always seem to come up with the right verse at about the right time.

Me...

G/F is beginning to feel better from the flu bug... so it's all good in that area... and I'm getting ready to wind down for the weekend.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Wallace - I really enjoy your weekly “Friday afternoon updates”. I know that if I don’t see a post from you on Friday afternoon, you must be sick or something!

How can y’all watch the “Unfaithful” movie?!?!? I cannot bring myself to rent it at all. You must be really strong to be able to do that!

Petvet - I’m glad you’re doing so well! What are your thanksgiving plans? Where will your son be?

EC - What’s going on in YOUR life? Any updates? Any news of a personal nature to share? LOL

Me - My recovery is going very well. I know it’s cuz of prayers (thanks!) and it didn’t hurt that I was in good physical shape - that gym time pays off <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> Hubby paid the past due bill, so I didn’t need to take any further action. Now I’m wondering how to handle the more expensive home improvements I want to do this winter and coming spring <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Hi Gang!!

Happy weekend (whatever that means <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> )

Avondale - Glad you're back in action and recovering, God is faithful, he will do as he promised. For whatever reason I was awakened lastnight about 3:00am while awake I was led to pray for you? I hope whatever it was God came to your rescue.


Wallace - Hope all is going well with you and your Gal.

Ps 118
4 Let them now that fear the LORD say, that his mercy endureth for ever. 5 I called upon the LORD in distress: the LORD answered me, and set me in a large place. 6 The LORD is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me? 7 The LORD taketh my part with them that help me: therefore shall I see my desire upon them that hate me. 14 The LORD is my strength and song, and is become my salvation. 17 I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.

Me: Exww called to discuss some business and of course the conversation flared on my part because of my hurt still. I decided ok that's it, me and this pain is going to have a knock down drag out, I'm tired of it. She apologized for the affairs but for some reason it felt more like sorry I got caught. She tells me she wants to talk one day soon about what happened in all 5 affairs so I can heal as she says and clear up all the phone calls, voicemails, dates, secret email, etc....

Then out of the blue she kept saying " see if we get back together how could she ever heal if I keep rehashing the same stories?? She said it would take her 8 years to heal from the things I've said since the DV...I said well what I said was true, take responsibility for your actions..

Now I was shocked!! Get back together??? Where did that come from?....She's still with her OM. After she said that I was like but do I want to really get back with her seeing what she is capable of? at this point I'd be a fool....

I told her those guys shouldn't have been in the picture in the first place while we were married in the same house unless I knew them or could have met them just to be aware of them...She laughed and thought I was wrong in what male friends she could have and be around....So that's a clue to me she still thinks nothing was wrong in what she did and it would only continue if we did get back together....Could you imagine going through all this again with her..all the affairs?...no way

That's why its best to never interfer with a WS before there time because you'll be messing with a cake undone...never bring them back to you in your own strength because you'll have a mess on your hands and get hurt and wounded all over again...Only when they repent and seperate themselves from there environment or other person should you try to work with them....

Since we are DV she would try to have me and a BF at the same time..I'm not walking that dog...

As I said before, once the money and legal attachment of CS is gone things would change because all her power is gone....

Anyway other than that life is great!!

Hi all!

Avondale: I'm happy to hear that your recovery is going well. I am also glad that your H took care of his obligations. My Thanksgiving plans are spread out over several locales: one of which is at buddy's place. As far as I know, kid will be with me unless I hear something from the otherside to change those plans.

Wallace and EC: How are you guys doing?

Later.

Wow
Seems like three of us are online at the same time. Must be a slow Sunday night, LOL

EC - I've had trouble sleeping (mostly due to physical discomfort) and was tossing and turning about the time God brought me to your mind. Thanks for following through with prayer!

I'm not sure about my Thanksgiving plans yet - fortunately I have several options. Son will be home for a few days too, and will probably want to go to his dad's parents where all their family will be. I can't blame him but of course will feel a little bit left out. Oh well.

Petvet - Do you anticipate any problems with son going with you to Buddy's house? Will her daughter be there too?