EC - thanks for the link; I’ve passed it on to my friend. How are you doing? Weren’t you taking classes? It’s great that your daughters are communicating and that they wish to visit this summer. I hope they follow through with that.

Petvet - Wow, two posts in two days from you. A new record for you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Do you have a “due date” about your tax situation, or is it just “whenever” it comes to the top of the pile on someone’s desk?

Wallace - I think a computer DOES top a leather jacket, LOL. It’s says something like “an investment in a future”, not like a personal gift which would just end at that - a gift given. Wonder if that's how she'll interpret it? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />


WGTT - If you are still lurking here, let us know how things are going with you. I know it was rough making your decision right before the holidays.

Me - Nothing new here....I did ask H if he wanted to help pay for some maintenance things here at the house (painting kitchen cabinets $500 and fixing attic insulation $150) and he said he didn’t have a lot of money right now, which I'm sure is true. He offered to help with the insulation cost, though. I took pictures of the cabinets and am going ahead with getting it done. The wood was showing through in several places and it looked bad. If you paint one, you have to do them all so they’ll match. I won’t live in a pigsty that looks trashy, ya know?

<small>[ January 06, 2004, 06:55 AM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

WOO HOO
Y'all are gonna be sooo proud of me today! I went to the funeral of a friend's father....a friend who is a musician; both he and his father and brother have played in various gigs with my H over the last 25 years. I wondered if I'd see H there, and I knew I'd see some of our mutual friends (who are more his friends than mine). I went with two staff pastors (I'm the church administrator and the deceased's son goes to our church).

The only place left to sit when we got there was the row in front of my husband! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I haven't seen him since May, and cannot believe how totally different he looks. Very grubby, and guess what?? HE'S GAINED WEIGHT!!! Now I don't feel as bad after gaining a few inches from my surgery, LOL. I handled seeing him fine and it made me feel so much better, KNOWING without a doubt that I'm in a much better place in so many ways than he is. And I alternate between praying for him and standing for our marriage and feeling "yuck" I can't believe I'm married to someone who looks and acts like that. Oh well... what I thought would be awkward and scarey actually was affirming to me personally <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ January 06, 2004, 04:12 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Hi All,

My computer at home is down and out with a bad fan, so I won't have my new fan for it until this weekend. That only leaves me with what little time I have had lately to come in and check the forum from work.

avondale...

WOW!!! I have to give you credit... you stood tall, by going to the service and seeing your "H" at the services. Did you expect to see him there? Did you speak to each other face to face at all?

I'll give you credit... it appears that you made it through the whole thing quite well. In fact, it seems to have bolstered your spirits.

I'll bet it felt strange after not seeing him for so long.

I know I would of felt really wierd seeing my exW. I haven't seen or spoken to her in almost 2 years.

Again congrats... I think you just crossed a major hurtle.

Concerning the gift I got my G/F... She was very happy with the new computer system. I really wanted to get hersomething more personal, but under the circumstances, I felt this may be the best gift to give her, because of all the trouble she was having with her old system.

I look at it like this... there is always Valentine's day! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hope everyone has a good day today.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

<small>[ January 08, 2004, 05:55 PM: Message edited by: Wallace ]</small>

Hi All,

Well I got my computer fan finally put in... so now I am back up and running.

It appears this year is starting out with a bang.

Last week I got a notice that my exW is contesting the CS amount that she has to pay per month ( we had to garnish her pay check and it's only been for the last 3 months), so it looks like I have to go to court for that one.

EC... or anyone else with knowledge on this... if you mmight give me an idea as to what to expect, it would be appreciated.

Then I get another notice from the IRS stating that my OD claimed herself for the whole year of 2002 while she was still under legal Age and a dependent in my house. So know I have to deal with that.

Then the other day... I slipped on some ice, and broke my thumb and jerked up my back.

So It looks like this is going to be a great year... LOL.

I'm only 13 days into this year, and I've got this all going on, as well as the Doctor wants me to go in for an EKG for my heart.

This stuff works you... I'm falling apart right before my very eyes.

I won't even go into my G/F and her plans.

Hope everyones year and day is going better.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Wallace - all I can say is “WOW”. Sorry to hear about your exW contesting things. I hope it is easily solved. I know it would be great if you didn’t have to go to court about it. What are her chances of getting the amount changed? Are you satisfied with your lawyer and the way he/she has handled things so far?

How do you deal with your OD filing taxes incorrectly? I am sure it was because she wanted a refund and she figured that was the best way to do it. Maybe she didn’t realize the ramifications to you if she did so. Will you make her file an amended return? Tough Love?

And now you’ve broken your thumb - we’re lucky you were able to type out that post! And an EKG - have you had any symptoms? And you’re NOT falling apart, you’re growing old and we’re all in the same boat, LOL. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

So what’s g/f up to now? Making plans, eh??

EC, Petvet - y’all around? Everything OK?

Edited to add:
Just got an email from H...this is what it says:
How do you feel about getting together sometime in the next few weeks to talk about the "future". We have been apart now for one and 1/2 years; I think it is only prudent for us to talk; to see where we are both headed; and to try to remain friends. It was awkward for me to write this; but I think it is a good idea for us to talk. What do you think?
Let me know whenever - no hurry.

I think I know what he wants to talk about <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

<small>[ January 13, 2004, 06:32 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Hi all!

Wallace: I'm sorry to hear about your thumb and the CS, and tax issues. It seems as though you are getting off to a busy and eventful 2004. You may want to see whether you can get your OD to file an amended returm for last year. As far as you exw is concern, just tell the judge what your situation was and is, and that your exw needs to do her share. Make sure you have an attorney who will fight for you.

Avondale: I find it interesting that he wants to remain friends. If he wants a divorce, take him to the cleaners. You must be firm.

Later.

Hi All,

Sorry I didn't get back sooner... but it's been a whirlwind for me, and I'm trying to stay ahead of the game.

avondale...

That's very interesting that he had to remind you how long it's been since you and he had a real face to face talk. I didn't like the tone... it has bad news written all over it. Brace yourself because I have the same feeling you have. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Say a long prayer and meet with him... let him say whatever he has to say, and let the chips fall where they may. You have done your best, and have stood tall, and have waited. Hopefully it won't be what we are all thinking it will be.

You are in my prayers.

Petvet...

You seem to be the only one that is getting a good start for the 2004 year at the moment. Tell me your secret so I can follow in your footsteps. It appears that I could use some good advice.

If it keeps going like it's going... I may turn my life story into a screeplay for a movie. It could be a dark comedy... LOL.

Me...

I have talked to my attorney, and he told me not to worry... just fill all the paper work out and send it in(Yep! More paperwork). He told me to go to the Court hearing if in fact the Family Registry wants to proceed with a hearing and then ask for continuance, and then bring him in. He's a good attorney and I pay him good money, so I know I'm in good hands there. It just seems like this thing is never, ever going to end.

Concerning my OD, I told her she needs to amend her tax return with a 1040X, and send it in. She said she would, but my gut feel tells me she will just let it lay there, causing me even more grief.

I am still waiting to get my full tax refund from the IRS from the 2002 year, and between my exW and now my OD, who knows if I ever will see that refund, or probably this years as well.

My OD stated that she didn't claim herself. I told her that the IRS said you did, and right now I'm inclined to believe the IRS. This almost has shades of my exW behind this.

I hope everyone has a great day.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Wallace - I'm sure there will be an end to your paperwork SOMEDAY ! And my gut tells me you're right about your OD not filing an amended return any time soon, if at all. Sorry you're having to go through that. It's good that you are confident in your attorney.

Me - I emailed H back, and told him I could meet at the last week in Jan, on two specific days. He replied something to the effect of February would be fine. So I'm just going to go with whatever he wants. I thought I'd stress over it until we meet, but so far I'm very peaceful about anticipating it. I'm sure this is God's peace <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

EC, Petvet - Hope y'all have a good weekend. Anything new?

Hi all!

Avondale: Yea, I would brace myself. If he says what we think he will, stay your ground.

Wallace: I agree with you that your OD is still in her mom's corner. Watch your back! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Me: I am very proactive now. I have a lot of things to do, time to make up, etc. I'm not fooling around.

Gone.

Hi All,

I hope everyone had a good weekend.

avondale...

I'm sure the peace you are feeling is from the Lord.

He comforted me, and directed me through what I call the "Very Bad Times". I would not have made it as far as I did with out having him in my corner. Let us know what day your going to meet, so we can all say a prayer for you on that day.

Hopefully it won't be what we think it is.

Petvet...

Your last post sounded like your going full throttle and making up for lost time. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

You still need to give me the secret to how your starting out the New Year so well. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Me...

Well OD called me this past Saturday, and said she wanted to get together with me to fill out all the tax forms to revise her 2002 taxes. We decided to get together after I returned from Church, which she agreed to.

When Church had finished, I called her and asked her what time she wanted to get together... and she said about 5:00 p.m.. I told her that would be fine, that I would see her around Five.

Well five oclock came and went, and I called her house at six, and left a message on her voice mail, because she wasn't home. About 6:30 she called me back, and said that her and her B/F were going to do it, and if they had any problems with it, then she would call me up. In my mind... that tells me she isn't going to do anything, with it... and yes Petvet... you are correct... she is in her mother's corner, and I am watching my back, because if I don't watch my back... I'll be in real trouble.

Hope everyone has a nice day.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

<small>[ January 19, 2004, 04:06 PM: Message edited by: Wallace ]</small>

Hi all,

Wallace - With your exww asking for a CS modificaton is not a big deal as far as court procedure. The hard part about it all is the lying that goes on, thats more frustrating than anything, enough to bite a bear in half <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Anyway since you have a lawyer it will go better for you than with me, my exww tried to take me to the cleaners. The lawyers no the law and whats allowable and will protect you. Also since the age of your YD and all the skipping your exww did will play a role. But also remember its a female geared system. It's rare you see a woman paying child support, so they may lean more toward your exww's favor, unless they know what happened.

I know it will be weird to see your exww and talk to her but, I tell you a truth, you're not missing much, if anything it may shut a door of curiosity.......Recently my exww told me she was free to date while we were married because, reason " I left". Now she was the one who moved out in her own place and had 5 guys at the time and is currently still with one? This is what I mean, you're not missing anything because they're not sorry for what they did, they lie and try to justify themselves. It was after that conversation that the Lord delivered me from ever arguing with her again, it's a waste of time and pain.

Anyway the CS is a constant sting to her, I don't care what the amount is, until you come at peace with it.

Avondale - Oh boy, conversation time with H coming up? That will be interesting. Just be nice and confident in yourself, don't be fearful of what he say he might do regarding money, etc...It all pans out, money will come and go, but he has the biggest issue he'll have to carry for life until he repents...Adultery is constant gnaw and gnashing of teeth...


Petvet - Looks like you're just buzzing along in life, I don't know what we're going to do with you? You seem to be recover quickly... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Me: Well spoke to YD this weekend and found out she signed up for the " Marines" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . So I've been happy for her but concerened as any parent would, but she's coming to spend the summer with me before she goes and plans to try and be stationed close as possible to me at the start, I'm sure she'll go overseas later...

Other than that life is moving along, will be done with CS in May <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ...

One thing I realized recently as it came alive to me was that John the Baptist was axed dead because he told Herod " It's not right for you to have the wife of your brother Phillip"....The Wayward wife Herodias didn't like that one bit,she was furious <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> John speaking out about there affair, she said I'll show him and had Herod seduced by her daughter in a dance...I'm sure it was the same kind of perverted dance you see in some of these artist today that have there belly and lots of skin exposed...anyway John was axed but considered great also....

Courage to stand up for what is right will always agiate those in the wrong. Your presence shines a constant light on there darkness, even when you don't know it.

Take Care

Hi EC...

I hope you read this while your still on the boards.

When you went in for your CS hearing... did they treat it like they do the Divorce proceeding, or do they just pretty much go by how much each other makes.

The reason why I ask this... is because I know she is going to lie about how much she makes.

She is now an Apartment MGR; with her and her new "H", and I know that they get their apartment as part of their compensation.

Let me know, when you can.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

<small>[ January 19, 2004, 04:36 PM: Message edited by: Wallace ]</small>

Hey Wallace, sorry I missed you yesterday....

The process is suppose to go simple, but because of the lies that may arise it twist and turns into other things.

The filing of forms will be just like in the DV. You should be required to submit new financial affidavits because they want to know why the change is being requested whether you are making more or less now or child expenses have increased, its like starting new. Arrearage amounts don't change, just ongoing support amounts.

Just remember she has a plan, and a nasty one. Don't think she is going to be nice and give you a break...When money is involved it brings out the worst in people....Remember the affair in the first place was because she had some inward bitterness toward you, and in most cases its still there..........

The key is to present the facts. You will have access to her financial affidavit and she to yours, once filed, before the court date, therefore you or your attorney will see what she's trying to claim or get out of.......

So get some strength because it's draining going through it....The part of having to speak with them while they lie....

Anyway hopes this helps.....

Hi All,

Well we got things really rolling between myexW and now with my OD... so this is going to be a great year... I can feel it in my bones.

EC...

Thanks for the heads up on all of that. When I tlaked with my Attorney, he stated that they needed a specific reason to file for a review of the CS. Right now, no one knows what it is.

I was wondering if they could go back and revise the arrearages that she has concerning the CS, but It looks like she can't... so that's a relief.

I not looking forward to the fact that I have to see her. It's been almost 2 yrs since I have seen or spoken with her, and I thought that I just might get past ever having to see her again... but I guess not.

Thanks for the info EC.

Hope everyone is doing well today.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi all!

EC: So your YD is going into the Marines, WOW! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Well, at least she is trying to do good, but it would worry me as a father. You know the war and everything. I would not exactly say that I have recovered, but I have had alot of time to think doing those times of separation about how I want to live my life. Now, I have a chance to pursue life without all the drama.

Wallace: I would find out how much the apartments are worth that your exw manages, so that you can use that in your calculations. She will probably try to skew the figures on her financials. Your OD and her BF don't appear to be on your side, do they?

Later.

Hi All,

EC...

Just curious... what was your daughter's deciding factor to join the Marines? I know a number of people that are in the Marines, and some that just joined up. They are all good people, and they love the Marines, and the War doesn't even concern them... in fact all of them want to get into the thick of it. Some of them are stationed in a number of places that are really seeing some action right now. God bless them all!

It also looks like your going to get to see your daughter here in the not to distant future... I'll bet that pleases you a bunch.

I have to agree with your post that this CS issue is going to be ugly... I'm not looking forward to any of it. I thought after almost 3 years of being in the thick of it all... that I would finally get a chance to put it all behind me, and start out somewhat fresh... but I guess not.

Petvet...

I'm glad to hear that all is going well for you. You deserve to have things go well... you put up with quite a bit for so long.

Keep up the good work!

Concerning my OD, and her B/F. They know that I have never approved of their living arrangement... and I still don't. Unfortunately, my OD has some of the same type of traits as my exW has. I can love her... but I won't love some of the things she does.

She still contends that she never filed her taxes claiming herself. Well I talked with the legal department over at the IRS the other day. They said that since she was a student for most of that year and living in my house the whole time... she couldn't legally claim herself even had I not claimed her. So the ball is in my OD's court now. Hopefully she will get it straigtened out soon.

Hope everyone has a great day.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi Y’all
I’ve been keeping up, just haven’t had a lot to say. I’ll let you know when my meeting with Hubby is. Probably around Valentine's Day, LOL.

EC - How old is your YD? I kind of thought she was under 18, and not old enough to sign up without a parent’s permission. (?) Maybe I’m mistaken about the rules. We all certainly understand your concern. But on the flip side, she will learn a lot of good habits that will last her a lifetime. And as in every walk of life, there can be good influences and bad. You’ll just need to pray that she will be surrounded by the good ones. As for overseas, don’t worry too much about it at this point, no use borrowing trouble. And I know you are counting the months (less than 6 now!) and then you can stop CS.

Wallace - Is it possible that for some reason your wife isn’t listed as an “employee” of the apartment company, just her H, and therefore she wants more CS because she’s unemployed? I’m sure you’ve thought of every scenario, though... And why do you HAVE to go to the hearing? Could your lawyer do it for you if you wanted?

Petvet - I would have thought you’d be extra busy now due to tax season and your rapidly expanding social calendar! It’s good to see you still online here! So have you and your buddy talked about anything permanent?? Come on, you can tell us... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Y’all have a good weekend. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ January 22, 2004, 04:37 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Hi All,

avondale...

You think you and your "H" are going to have your meeting on Valentine's Day? Ouch!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

If he has bad news for you, do you think he would be that heartless to break that type of news on Valentine's day? On the other hand... maybe he has good news for you, and wants to break it to you on Valentine's day. That would be a surprise, but if the news was that good... why would he want to wait till whenever? He doesn't seem to be in to big of a hurry to talk to you about whatever he has to say, which IMHO is not a good sign.

I have a question for everyone.

I bought my G/F roses and took her out for a nice dinner last Valentine's Day. Anyone have any ideas as to what I might do this year? I'm kind of at a loss for ideas this year, so I thought I would get some ideas from everyone here.

Petvet...

avondale brought up a good question... has there been any serious talk on that front.... hmmmmmm? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Me...

My OD called me yesterday afternoon to inform me that she was going to take her taxes in to be done and she was going to have them do the amended return for her all at the same time. So hopefully she will follow through with what she keeps saying she is going to do. If she does that, it will be one less thing to contened with.

Concerning having to show up for the CS hearing. I will have to show up for the first one... because I'm going to ask for an extension, and then bring my attorney on board to represent me. He is already working on everything, and he is up to speed with all of this. But I have not formally anounced that I'm being represented by an attorney to the Courts as of yet. This is a tactic called foot dragging... and time is my friend concerning this whole CS situation.

Well I hope everyone has a great day and a great weekend.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Wallace
I said Valentine's Day for our talk in a "tongue in cheek" way, based on the fact he signed papers for separation on our 26th anniversary date. I have no clue when/what he's planning, by all appearances it will be working out initial division of property stuff.

Valentine's Day ideas...hmmm...Victoria's Secret is always a winner, but maybe it should wait til after the wedding??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> Seriously though, you can never go wrong with flowers and dinner at a nice restaurant. Remember, if you do something big, you'll have to top it next year, and every year after that. Keep it simple for now <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hi ALL

Wallace - To answer your question, what were YD's deciding factors why she joined the Marines?

1. I think she is bored at home and lost hope of getting a scholarship for college, she's a (B-) student. She recently lost an after school temp job in the nursing field so I think she got discouraged for the future, because wants to be in the medical field...a baby doctor...

2. She's tired of living with exww, they argue a lot and have been getting nose to nose, toe to toe in brawls..YD wants her own space to do her own thing.

3. In her own words, "she said she's tired of cleaning up after OM". She's asking herself why is she cleaning up after this stranger in her house, forced on her by exww.

When YD first told me she signed up It was like horror at first, but then the more I thought and prayed about it, it's a blessing. If YD lived with me she would prosper, if YD continue living with exww, she would have great pitfalls ahead and amount to very little. So since YD wants to be stationed near me at the beginning of her serve time is great. Its amazing how the military thing skipped over a whole generation in my family, but all things work together for the good.


Avondale - YD turned 18 in Oct so she's old enough....but as you say, she will get a lot of displine and other great tools in life....


Take Care