Hello Everyone - Hope you are all enjoying a great weekend!

AVONDALE,

I'm so sorry things have to be so difficult with your husband. I'm afraid I would or will be facing the same thing if it comes to a divorce. The times we tried to negotiate in the past were really difficult. I don't think we agreed on anything, from custody to allimony to splitting assets. I would get to the point that I just wanted to give him whatever to just be done with it. But then, I would think of the girls and their future and knew I had to fight for what would be best for them. Not a fun time. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Thanks for keeping up with me in the other forum. You mentioned God's grace. That is what it all comes down to. I can only stay as long as God gives me the strength and ability to do so. Sometimes I receive that grace better than other times. Sometimes, I just get very determined about wanting so much more. IS THAT SELFISH?? Then I feel guilty for wanting out. I just wonder if it will ever end. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I'm just very ready for it to be different one way or the other. Could it ever be of God to have a marriage such as this one? To the best of my knowledge there isn't infidelity and I did forgive him for the past. Does that mean this is what I now need to accept?? That is hard to do!!!

Thanks for listening, Avondale.

RELADY,

That's interesting that your former husband did the same thing with becoming angry at certain conversations. You are right when you say you tend to keep it all inside which makes for a lot of eggshell walking. I just discouraged and feel like nothing is gained by talking to H because he just gets angry and nothing seems to change. Maybe you could read what I wrote to Avondale. Perhaps you could share your perspective as another Christian lady who has been in the same position.

WALLACE,

So you lasted five hours? Somehow that doesn't surprise me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I hope things improve for you both and that you really are able to appreciate each others perspectives.

Yes, ten months is a loooong time. I am keeping both eyes wide open. It seems it's all about his business right now. It's growing by leaps and bounds and he's so excited. Of course, I could be totally bamboozled by the man. I want to think the best but his personality makes it very challenging. He is not a nine to five kind of guy. He lives life on the cutting edge which tends to make him look suspicious even when he's totally innocent. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

TAKE CARE EVERYONE

Hi all!

Wallace: On again off again relationships are not a good sign for longevity. Look out! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Avondale: I can tell you situation is going to end up in court. He is going to come out on the short in anyway, so it is in his best interest to work things out.

Relady: Sorry to hear about your timeshare. The islands were hit real hard.

Me: I have full custody, and I am not going to willingly give it up. To be honest, I think ex real motive is to try for full custody and the elimination of CS altogether. It will not be easy for her. The marriage thing came up because I am trying to get an annulment, so she probably think I am heading down the eisle again.

Later.

Later.

LEAH-
The anger usualy has nothing to do with you, it's about him. My dad explained by saying that the best defense was a good offense. It took me a few seconds but I got it.

Another time, I was sitting in an open AA meeting listening to a man tell his story. Whenever he wanted to go out and drink, he started a fight. Bingo. That's what my WH had been doing. After that I was determined not to feed into his anger and stayed very calm no matter what. It was pretty funny to see WH after that!

Another Alanon friend was involved in a car accident with her cousin. The cousin's husband is a drinker and came to the scene to tell the cousin that she was an idiot,,,, blah, blah ,blah. Then yelled at my friend. As my friend was relaying this story I had to tell her that being yelled at had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with him. She was finally able to see it from that perspective.

God's grace is the ONLY way I get through life. Right now I am in need of refilling.


Me - The last hurricane through here just blew the most incredible breezes. It was wonderfull just to sit by the water.

All the properties I had under contract are OK, not damage & have started closing this month. Thank God. Now I have to get back to selling real estate. I have a totally separate account now that I put my commissions in.

Wallace - you crack me up!

Avondale - My prayers are with you as you go thru this process.

To everyone else - hope all is well.

D.

WGTT

Thanks for sharing an important perspective. I've heard that before but I tend to get taken in by it still. I'm not very confident about myself, so I always question what I'm doing wrong that would cause H's anger and rejection of me.

I understand about needing a refilling of God's grace. That's where I've been of late. I will keep you in my prayers.

I'm glad to hear that your properties are all okay. Take care.

Hello Everyone,

I know I have been pretty scarce around here lately, but my school at night after work is really keeping me busy.
Well I just thought I would stop in and give an update on my situation. There is still no communication or any change between my W and I, and I have decided that I do not want to wait around anymore. I know quite a few of you may think I haven't waited long, but ultimately I have felt alone for nearly a year, even though she was still living there. I am comfortable with my descision, and feel that I put more than enough effort into reconciliation, but still recieved nothing in return. So, I have decided that I am taking the next step on my own, and have an appointment with my lawyer tomorrow. I don't like sitting on my hands an not knowing where my life is going. Now I will feel like I have control of my life again, and will atleast know which direction I am headed. I have come to a point where I am no longer concerned at all with what my STBXW is doing, and I feel that finishing this will take a big load off of me and I will be relieved. I know that I will have some dealings with her before this is all over, but other than that I believe I can begin to actually live my life and not worry about ever having to see her again.

I have done lots of hard thinking this past month, and haven't come up with any reasons as to why I shouldn't do this.

I will probably be around here quite a bit more throughout all of this.

I hope everyone else is doing well, and I will try to get by tomorrow with info on what my lawyer says.

Also, I am going out of town Friday for a wedding in which I am the best man. I am not sure how well I am gonna be able to handle being in a wedding right now, but it is my best friend and I feel I have to give him as much support as I can even though my thoughts on marriage aren't very high right now. I am really nervous about having to give a speech.

Wesley

Hi All,

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile... but my home computer got a virus in it (I'm still reformatting), and at work our main server went down... so I was without internet for a while.

My house got hit by a pretty bad storm, and now my roof is leaking... so I'm dealing with that as well.

So all in all... it's been a real joy!

But hey!!! My G/F and I are getting along rather well since the big blow-out.

I'm going to have to come back and look at everyone's posts later, as it is pretty busy here at work.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Well we can't let this thread get bumped to page two of the D/D forum! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Wes - Yes, your action did surprise and sadden me. How did the wedding go? I hope you were able to get through it without too many triggers.

Not much new with me, just playing the waiting game. Hubby did talk to lawyer last week and we will get together next Monday when he will have a "counter offer".

Hi all!

VosWas(Misspelling): Do what you think is best for you and your family. The stress level in these types of things is enormous. I know you have had much time to think things through, and have come to a decision that you can live with.

Avondale: How much negotiation are you willing to go through to settle your situation? You need to ask your attorney whether you could get more by going to court.

Wallace: I hope all is well with your computer issues, roof, and GF.

Me: It seems that some negative things are being said about me by his mother and family to my kid or in earshot of my kid because he has been reacting negatively to me and various things lately. Someone asked whether she pays child support and the answer is yes.

Later.

Well, the wedding went great this past weekend. I am still working on finishing some papers for my lawyer, but hope to have them finished and faxed over to him by tomorrow. I am feeling so much better here lately, and not near as stressed. It feels good to have control over where my life is heading again. That's something I havent had in a long time.

Noticably Happier
Wesley

Hi all!

VosWas(Wesley): I'm glad you are feeling much better. Taking control of the situation reduces stress alot. This gives you direction.

Later.

Hey everyone!

Well my computer is still shot, and my roof is still going through the repai stages... so it's been a busy time at work as well as at home.

avondale...

Sorry to hear that your going through a tug-of-war with your "H", concerning the valuation of your home. Stick to your plan, and don't bufge from it. You will probably only get one shot at it, once you both come to an agreement, so make sure you have everything included, like medical insurance, etc., in your final negotiations.

WGTT...

Glad to hear that you made it through the hurricanes with no damge. I'll bet you were nervous over the whole ordeal.

Hopefully that will be the end of it for a while.

leah...

How are you making out? It sounds like your still having a rough time with your "H".

Pray on it!

I'm in the same boat as everyone else... I need to start puttting God first, and the rest will come. My problem is... I have been hit by everything but the kitchen sink here lately... and I'm sure that will come winging my way here, real soon. I know I'm making excuses, but it's real easy to slip.

Hope everything starts getting better for you.

relady...

So your vacation time share got hit by the hurricane? Ouch!

How does that work on your end with insurance?

Will it affect your costs, or will they just stay the same.

When in 2005 will they have it ready for use for you?

How have you been lately? Haven't seen much from you here lately. Hope everything is going well for you.

Petvet...

What got your exW all stirred up to try to challenge your CS arrangements.

Do you think it's because she's trying to cause problems for you due to your relationship with your G/F?

Sorry to hear that she's trying to turn your son against you. I would try to nip that one in the bud, as soon as you can.

Wes...

Well you went to the wedding and had a good time... glad to hear it!

I'm like you... I'm kinda of sour on "M" right at the moment myself. It's going to take awhile for me to put 23 years of "M" behind me.

Your sounding upbeat about life... and that's a major step to take in order to get you through what your going through.

Keep up the good work, and always try to keep a postive outlook on each day... it helps getting you through the bad days.

I am sure I've missed someone, but I'm at work now... so I don't have a lot of time... and if I did... my apologies.

Hope everyone has a great day.

Stay Strong!

Wallace


p.s.

My G/F and I are doing all right for the moment. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Guess who's back?

Greetings all! It sure has been a while since I could make it here and read. It appears that not much has changed since my last visit. I guess that could be good and bad, depending on our personal situation.

Work because of all the hurricanes and storms have kept me extremely busy, almost to busy. That and still trying to figure our how to live at an almost poverty level for income. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> But all of that is beginning to fall into place. Just not quite like I had anticipated.

I spoke with an attorney about Chapter 13 and after figuring everything up the only thing it would do is keep the creditors from hounding me. Creditors! Ha! There is only one and that was for my automobile I bought in the midst of all the turmoil and fallout from divorce. Bad Decision. Do NOT make ANY major decisions without wise counsel from another person.

So...I called the creditor and asked them to come and pick up this thing that I cannot afford to drive and managed the purchase of an older but reliable mode of transportation. I guess I'll wait for them to auction off the car and let me know the difference in what I still owe them and then look at Chapter 13 again. But I promise you if I end up speaking with the same lady there again I'll just file Chapter 7. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> It took everything I had in me and everything I have learned over the last few years to maintain my composure with her. She has definitely been in the collection business way to long and thinks that everybody is worthless.

On The Home Front

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Nothing HUGE or Major going on there. The dear former is still involved in her on again off again relationship with the same guy. It's been about three weeks since they have spoken to each other <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ( I wonder if prayer has anything to do with that). But she insists that she is IN LOVE with him and that God brought them together so she could be Happy.

Friday I went to our YD's school to pick her up early and discovered that BF has been added as an authorized person to pick up our children. That hurt, actually that hurt a lot. But I called her later that evening to discuss it with her and it proved to be an intresting conversation. In her words he's just another person that she can trust to pick up our children should the need arise.

I politely pointed out that in the 8 years our children have been in school the only people utilized was either me or her. The school has never had to call the other 5 people on the list (in-laws on both sides and a mutual friend). If you BF was an active part of the children’s lives or if you two were married I might be able to understand it. I also asked her to remove him.

*chuckles* That must have made her day for that was when she accused me of making a HUGE deal out of every little thing and always got mad about it. ( bear in mind that I have not yet raised my voice or displayed any sort of anger). But I also explained to her that we had joint legal custody and that all major decisions that affected the children had to be agreed by both parties, so you can either remove him from the list or we can go back to court. I've yet to hear her answer and it was only later that I learned that they had not spoken in three weeks.

Ain't that a hoot. They are in another one of their turmoil’s and she's telling me how he can be trusted. Sorry people, I've seen this man at public school functions so intoxicated that he could barely walk. That man WILL NOT be picking my children up under any circumstances.

The subject of being friends was also approached, me of course. Will I ever get out of the habit of calling her Honey?

Honey, for the sake of the children we need to work on being friends. Her reply was that we could "be friendly". *grins* Even the worst of enemies can be friendly under a given set of circumstances but we need to be friends. If you had to pick, where would you classify us today?
</font>

• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Acquaintance</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Friends</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Close Friends</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Intimate Friends</font></li>

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
I consider you to be my ex-husband and the father of my children. I'll just be honest, until your desires, needs and affection are either directed toward another person or are being met by another person I am very uncomfortable in your presence.

How's that for honesty? OK, so I'm a man. That is what she said but what I heard was "until your lower yourself to my level and become involved with another person I would rather not be around you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> So much for trying to learn to listen. I guess some old habits are hard to kill.

What was good from all of this? When I asked about being friends she replied that there was still a lot of dust that had to be dealt with before that could happen. Dust!

One year ago she said:

</font>

• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"We have too much baggage to deal with".</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Several months ago it was "We have to much dirt to deal with".</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Last Friday it was "There is still a lot of dust to deal with".</font></li>

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
So its gone from baggage to dirt to dust. Who knows, that huge elephant in her living room just may be shot soon. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Other than ALL that things are going pretty good here. Physically, spiritually and emotionally I am doing well. Financially I struggle but I am quite sure we all do that. And even that is beginning to look better now.

Praying that all of you are doing well and I promise that even thought I was absent for quite a while each of your were remembered in my prayers.

Trusting - great to hear from you!

It’s been too quiet on this thread lately. I guess I’ll have to spice it up with the latest on meeting with H.

Me - I met H on Saturday to get his “counter offer” for settlement. It was so far below what I had hoped (both for alimony and asset division) - about half the amount for half the number of years I wanted. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> In addition to that fact, I cried - which I hate but couldn’t help, this is gut-wrenching. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> He’s playing hardball which I’m sure his lawyer is encouraging. He keeps bringing up the fact that I inherited some money from my mother which should offset anything he would give me. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

My lawyer told me what she felt was a reasonable amount to settle for (given our circumstances) and I’m inclined to just say “this is my final offer, take it or I’ll be glad to go to court”. I know I can’t go through more than a couple more meetings like that. I’m actually worried about my health now.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I don’t think any of you get (or give) alimony so you may not be able to offer any insight. And I don’t have any friends who’ve gone through divorce to ask. Just wanted to give an update on me. I love and miss y'all!

<small>[ October 25, 2004, 06:36 AM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

AVONDALE,

I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult time with your husband. It has to be such an emotional drain. Hugs and prayers to you for all you're dealing with.

I know when I had spoken to an attorney years ago, he said allimony various from state to state and even judge to judge. It sounded as if it is very subjective. Thankfully I can't share from personal experience but I can share what I know from a couple of my friends who are divorced.

One lady didn't get any allimony but did get the house. She also will receive child support until her boys are grown. The other received a generous amount of allimony to be able to maintain her very high standard of living. She also got the house, which is a big, beautiful, expensive home. I'll have to ask her how long she expects to receive allimony. She was and is a stay at home mom, if that makes any difference.

Please know that you're in my prayers Avondale. ((((((AVONDALE))))))) Keep trusting God through this. He will see you through.


TRUSTING HIM,

It was wonderful to hear from you!! It sounds as if things are going pretty well for you and your children. Keep looking up and never lose hope. Our God is a God of miracles.

ME

Things have been going better here at home. I'm still in the process of learning much. I always try to maintain a open mind to be able to change those things in me that need "tweaking" It's been good to see some new things. I have also been trying to maintain a positive perspective. God bless each of you.

AVONDALE

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> He keeps bringing up the fact that I inherited some money from my mother which should offset anything he would give me. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It took me a while to find a post that had the state in it but since it is NC, why does the inherited money have anything to do with it?

PROPERTY DISTRIBUTION: NC is an "equitable distribution" state. Separate property, including: (1) any property acquired before the marriage; (2) any gifts and inheritances acquired during the marriage;

I know that lawyers and what not's will try ti include any and everything in the distribution, and since you say he's trying to play hardball it makes it even worse.

Has you lawyer told you that you inherited money should be considered a maritial asset.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My lawyer told me what she felt was a reasonable amount to settle for (given our circumstances) and I’m inclined to just say “this is my final offer, take it or I’ll be glad to go to court”. I know I can’t go through more than a couple more meetings like that. I’m actually worried about my health now. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That may be a wise choice! A lady that went through one of our DivorceCare classes almost a year ago has finally reached that point. Her husband, in the midst of being shacked up with his new GF has hidden assets, supposendly stopped working, he is a contractor, reports far less this year in income than he has ever reported in theri 20 years of marriage.

Her being an emotional being, has tried os hard to be fair, do what is right for her and him through all of this and he just keeps playing hardball. In hopes that she finally just caves in to his demands. It has only been in the last 3 weeks that she mad him a FINAL offer, if he refuses that then she lets the courts and lawyers handle it.

Getting or giving alimony? CAn't say tha I had to give but a friend is getting and has been getting for the last 15 years. The difference there is that her former still had a heart. Heart? It's amazing what people with one will do and those that do not have one just continue to hurt others, regardless of the cost.

Leah2be

My heart and prayers continue to go out to you. I know the struggles and feelings you face on a daily basis and I applaude you efforts to amint a steady and positive outlook, even in the midst of turmoil.

Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to everyone generously without a rebuke, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith, without any doubts, for the one who has doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. (James 1:5-6 ISV)

It sound as if you have received that wisdom nad are dillegently persuing a life of learning, "tweaking" ( <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> , I like that choice of words) , keeping an open mind and see and maintain a positive perspective.

Now just share with us how you do it on a daily basis. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Me

*chuckles* Let's not even go there.

In a nutshell, possibly <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> , Since I last posted I have once again run the emotional roller coaster with my former. Will I ever learn?

I had to call the former last Friday about an insurance change at work. Mine is changing from a HMO to a PPO. In essence from a copay to an 80/20 with deductiables. It may make sense for us to use her insurance for the children if she has an HMO. I was shocked when she answered the phone because she sounded so chipper. Chipper enought that after the called I did offer up a prayer of thanks to God for a pleasent conversation and tone of voice.

I picker up the children tht afternoon from her hosue and there was a HUGE difference in her home. Now if she would bring the children to me, have their clothes ready when I arrived I may not notice as much. but being that I usually have to gather all their stuff up it means I have to enter the house. Pictures of her boyfriend have been removed from the kitchen. Pictires of her boyfriend on the nightstands are also removed and replaced with pictures of our children. Pictures of boyfriend from dresser and all the cards she had been stacking there for the last year are gone. Cards I have no idea what she did with, all the pictures were put into a bookshelf in the bedroom.

OK, I am sorry, but it did bring a sense of 'something', a hope that just maybe she was beginning to see a little light and it did effect my emotions and hopes.

Later that evening our duaghter informed me that she had left her contact solution at Mom;s house. I told her to call and if it was OK with Mom we could drive back over and get that and our son;s glasses. She talked to Mom and shed offered to bring it to my house. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> This was new one as she usually refuses to make any extra trips. But. . .after she arrived and left me and the children were watching TV and our OD chimed in with a "Mommy's not seeing BF anymore but she has a new sort-of BF". *chuckles*

What's a sort-of boyfriend? She went on to explain that Mommy has been talking a lot to some guy she went to high school with. He's in the Army and currently stationed close to here but had gone to NY to visit family. But he's called every night this week.

I know I told her that she could talk about anything she wanted, I just never knew how much it would hurt. I did ask them how they felt about the new friend.

OD - She can do whatever she wants as long as she does not marry him.

DS - I did not like her first one and I do not like this one. It is not right.

YD - I love you Daddy cause you'e the bestest Daddy in the whole wide world.


ACK! I developed a sudden loss of vision or blurry vision today. Can you say cataracts. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> I'm to young to have cataracts and the Doctor I saw today agreed, but said there was nothing I could do but to either have the sugery or keep blurred vision. So unless something drastic changes in the nest week they will be taking care of that the 4th of November. I sure hope it's not to bad. I hate sugery. )not to mention that it makes reading this screen and typing a genuine PAIN!


WALLACE, PETVET, VOLKWES, RELADY, WILLGETTHRUTHIS, praying that each of you are doing well in you personal journey's.

God Bless Ya All

<small>[ October 25, 2004, 10:25 PM: Message edited by: Trusting Him ]</small>

Hey All,

Just thought I would pop in since I have a free minute.

(((((Avondale)))))

I can just imagine how difficult this must be. IMHO, maybe you should just seize all meetings and let the attorney handle it. People have a tendency to get very ugly when money is involved. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Nevermind the fact that you spent half your life with him!!

Wallace

Yes, my timeshare as far as the Bahamas won't be available until late next year. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I plan to exchange it for Hawaii next year. I tried to get something for Thanksgiving and couldn't, so I'm heading back East for the holiday.

The maintenance fees went up $100 and they claim it's just for next year!! Right!!

Hope all is well with you.

Leah2Be

Where you are is not an easy place to be and I'll be glad to share my experience. I have always said it's more difficult when there is still communication. Being lonely with someone is much worst than being by yourself. I didn't talk to my X for 2 years and still haven't.

God allows us to go through things to become the person he has called us to be. We all have different experiences. My pain has truly become my ministry. Had this not happened I would not be the person I am today. I had to truly believe that, "all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His Purpose. 'His' being the operative word.

When you have that deep down on the inside, you just trust God.

Me

I'm finally working on my list of things to do after the divorce that I couldn't do because CA is a community property state. So, I'm rolling right along.

Petvet, Trusting Hime, WGTT and everyone.

Hope all is well.

relady

Hi all! This board has been kinda quiet lately.

Trusting: It's is going to be hard have joint custody with someone like your wife. I think that's what my ex wants, and I am going to fight it tooth and nails.

Avondale: I'm sorry for your pain. As I told you earlier, you will end up in court. As you can tell, the drama played out in these meetings were for his benefit not yours. You have tried to work with him, and now, he plans on palying hardball. What does your inheritance have to do with anything? Please talk to your attorney, but Sweetheart, I am afraid that you are headed for court. You may have to face that reality. Don't put yourself through anymore pain with these meetings unless you feel that will be fruitful. At this point, it's all about the money. You must suck it up and keep your head high, Avondale. The pain is unbearable but I can assure you that you have gone through the worst already. Unless something happens out of Jupiter, the pain will be eased once you realize he is not coming back. Don't allow your health to worsen over this stuff. He is not the same man you married. Please pray for strength.

Relady: Hawaii instead of the Bahamas. I'll take it. I'm planning on going to Hawaii next summer.

Wallace: Where are you?

Me: Living life. Going better than I realize.

Later.

Hey All,

Sorry I have not been able to post. My computer at home is toast... I need a new motherboard and power supply from the storm we got hit with.

Work has been very busy... so I haven't had much time to even look at any posts here lately.

Hope all is well with everyone... gotta run... I'm at work and we are real busy.

I'll be in touch.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Wallace

Sorry to hear about the computer. *chuckles* I just got my old one back tht I put in the shop back in March. Yes...it was tht hard to scrap up an extra 150.00 for the repairs. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Praying that yours is back soon.

Petvet

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> It's is going to be hard have joint custody with someone like your wife. I think that's what my ex wants, and I am going to fight it tooth and nails.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Let's not even go there. With each passing day I see more evidence of this and for the life of me cannot understand why?

Just yesterday her and I had a talk with our YD. Here we are, sitting in her living room explaining to our daughter that we each want what's best for her. My mind had a hard time saying I want whats best but yet we are divorced and from all appearences so far cannot even be friends but in the words of my former "we can be friendly." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Me

Now I now how sin and deception can be so hard to overcome and even see. I developed a cataract in my right eye Moday morning. The Doctor tells me it's been coming on for a while but for the life of me I never notived it. Sunday night I could see out of both eyes and Monday morning the vision in my right eye is all but gone. I can see, it's just all blurry.

Anyway, as I was driving to Bible Study this morning the thought occured as I attempted to see roads and road signs that sin and deception must be like this. I know where I am going for I've been there many times before but I had to make a concentrated effort to watch otherwise I would miss my turn. Things that were once taken for granted I now have to focus really hard to see things.

And without that concentrated effort I would be off the road, in a ditch or staring blindly around looking for something familiar when there it is, just like it's always been. I just can't see it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

So, surgery next week to fix the vision thing I hope. Be ot of comission for a couple of days but the Doc assures me I can be back the following Monday. Being without clear vision in only eye is a killer. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

To everyone else, God Bless Ya in all that you do. Each new day is a gift and we ned to cherish it as much as possible.

TRUSTING HIM,

I'm so sorry for the difficulties you are currently facing. I hope you have some supportive friends near in the upcoming weeks. I wish we could physically be there to help you with things as you face your upcoming surgery. I've just made a big pot of soup that I would love to take to you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Please know we are all here for you out in great cyber-land. I have and will continue to keep you much in prayer. Please let us know as soon as you can how you're doing.

About the emotional roller-coaster... How well I can relate. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> You can't imagine how many times I ask myself the same questions you ask. Why do I keep letting myself go there? Just when I'm encouraged by some small incident or piece of conversation, another curve ball comes dashing my way.

Over and over again, I learn...GOD MUST BE MY SOURCE OF HOPE. I can not look to my H to meet those deep heart cries and needs. He might be here physically, but he just doesn't seem to really care. It is such a painful realization. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

You ask how do I do it on a daily basis. Only with a lot of help from the Lord. That wisdom in James, I ask for it daily. Somedays, I rebel and just want to do what comes naturally. That's when I fall quickly in trouble. Because what comes naturally is to look out for #1 and to feel angry that my hopes and desires are not being met in this M. So it is a continual process of giving it all over to the Only One who truly knows and understands all. It's trusting Him to do what only He can do.

I know you understand that process from first hand experience. Please keep looking up and let us know how you're doing. ((((TRUSTING HIM))))


RELADY,

You are right about it being harder to be lonely with someone that to be lonely by yourself. I find this is very true here because my H travels a great deal. It is always easier emotionally when he is gone, because then there is no expectation. It is much harder to accept nothing when it is staring you in the face.

I totally agree about God using the different circumstances in our life to mold us into the person we need to be. Certainly the trials we've experienced have taught us all much. God bless you!

WALLACE,

Sorry for your computer difficulties. I've been through that and know how frustrating that can be. Hope things are going well for you and your family.

AVONDALE,

Hi, hope you are doing okay. I've been thinking of you much since reading your last posting on the other page. I hope things are going better for you. I've been concerned for you. Keep us posted.

HI TO ALL OTHERS. HOPE YOU ARE EACH DOING WELL. HAVE A GOOD REST OF THE WEEK. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />