Hi Mimi -

There is no question that each encounter with her drags me down (emotioanlly) a step or two. Bad part is, I've GOT to meet up with her in the next day or so to sign the income tax forms. I dread that.

The cup I made is definitely not a WARRIOR cup, but it is small and delicate. Maybe I'm excited about it because up this point everything I've done on the wheel ending up being what I call "blast proof", meaning heavy and thick. This one is small and dainty with relatively uniform thin walls. It is much harder to make something like this, so I am pleased. Perhaps I can donate it to the GODDESS CLUB. When I finish it (got to be fired, glazed, etc.), I'll post a picture. Now that we can do that, I'll be a real nuisance posting pictures here all the time.

Did you hear that Mariah Carey has a new CD out? Entitled: THE EMANCIPATION OF MIMI (really!).

Georgia

About Mariah Carey:

I've been planning on mentioning that but it has been almost too scary...one of our serendipitous events!

Mariah is one of my favorite singers, too. I have all of her CDs....

FGG:

If you do get out west, be sure 2 stop by Goblin Valley on your way...

...well, truthfully, Goblin Valley isn't on the way ANYWHERE, but it is VERY groovy.

If you've ever seen Star Quest (Tim Allen), the battle with the pile of rocks was filmed there.

I loved the reference to the original Star Trek episode with the duel with the lizard guy:

"See if you can find anything 2 make a lathe." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

Thanks, 2Long -

I haven't seen that movie, do you recommend it?

I've checked on the car situation. I can get a Camaro convertible for $300 week. Not too bad.

I'm going to give this some real thought. 30 days of vacation to use and April's half gone already. I'm not going to lose these days, so it looks like Jeb and I might do some traveling.

I've got a feeling that I may need to get away from work awhile if/when the divorce is final. That might be a good time to take some also.

Mimi - Is there a song on the M/C CD that pertains to "Mimi"? Where did that title come from? You're not Mariah, are you? I think you've alluded to being Hispanic (J.Lo. like) , which would leave out Mariah (isn't she Canadian?, or is that Celine Dion? I forget.).

Okay, work to do (again).

cc - if you're there, I'm following your story too, just don't have a whole lot to contribute right now.

Georgia

Ok, Georgia. Let me clear this up. I am definitely not "Hispanic". I took French and can't speak a lick of Spanish.

I'm not trying to be forward. I am blushing. I think I was referring to having a body type like J LO. My H likes her body and mine too. OK. Enough said. Also I share the dark complexion of J LO and Mariah. FOW's body type is different! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Does that keep you guessing?

I'm not sure why Mariah's CD has that name. It's probably a nickname of hers.

Have a great evening!!

Hi Guys!

Thanks for remembering me. Fortunately I am sooooooo busy I have no time to even check MB during work. I don't even check my e mails. It's really great to be able to detach that much. Of course the first thing I do when I get home is log on. These last 2 days have been further complicated because I have a new nephew and today was SIL's birthday.

Georgia, I do think you should take those holidays with Jeb. Great idea. I also have a whole lot of vacation due but this is not the time to take it. Also I don't have money, and I really don't feel a need to go away now. If I do, a nice weekend at the beach although it is cold would do wonders and I'm sure someone will lend me a place to stay. This summer I found that being away from home helped to regain some strength.

I also find that any contact with WH is very emotionally difficult. So far there haven't been any conversations or encounters, but I still dread them. So I understand what you feel. Someday we will get to the point where Mortarman was, where he could be totally in control while talking with his WW. BTW Where is he? I haven't seen him around since we're on this new forum.

I signed up for a jewellry class, once a week, right round the corner from work. Something else to look forward to.
I'll update my thread now. See you tomorrow and start planning that trip!

Good Morning all -

I talked with my attorney yesterday afternoon. We discussed how to handle the income tax refund (we can either agree to split it, or it goes into an escrow account with one of the attorneys).

He suggested that I put together what I feel is an acceptable proposal for alimony and division of property. He said that if WW and I could agree to that, all we would have to do is go before the judge once more and she would sign it and we're divorced. This could all happen by the end of April.

That kind of gives me a sinking feeling in my stomach. DIVORCED!! Such a horrible, ugly word to use when referring to your best friend of over 2 decades. It's all reduced down to who gets what piece of furniture and how much money. This ain't the way it's supposed to be.

Oh well....

cc - I'm glad you're new job is keeping you so busy, especially if you're finding it fulfilling - and I suspect that you are.

I hope you find your jewlery class as much fun as I've found the pottery class. There are 2 md's in my pottery class.

Mimi, I've got to say that you've thrown me WAY off track. I guess I had assumed too much, but I though the Hispanic was a given (for some reason). Oh man....now I'm so in the dark....Can you please remove your pink sunglasses so I can get a quick glimpse?

Back to more serious stuff.

Last night I spent some time working on a budget assuming what I believe to be the most likely amount of alimony I will have to pay. Then, I started looking at what kind of lifestyle I think I will be able to afford. I've began to sometimes take backroads around my house on the way home looking for old houses that are for sale that might interest me. Within about 6-8 blocks of the house, there are some stately mansions that have been restored and are absolutely beautiful. We're talking million dollar homes. But...there are also many smaller, yet to be restores houses that have a lot of character. It is one of those that I think I would like to have.

I want something with lots of windows, a sunroom, and a yard that will be conducive to a water garden.

Okay, back to my regularly scheduled thread...

Georgia

Georgia,

I find that in your case divorce is not really a DIVORCE. It is more of a legal measure to protect your finances. I don{t know how to say this but I dont think it´s an emotional divorce. It´s like a legal separation. I don´t think you are ready to let go of your wife, so even if you are legally divorced you could still act and behave as though in plan B which is what I FEEL you would like to do.
See, it{s sort of similar to my plan B with absolutely no contact except that you have the "divorce" as financial protection. (BTW, I don{t have any legal or financial protection except my faith in WH, but so far it has been ok.)

So, what do you think? In spite of the legal stuff, woulkd you be more comfortable considering yourself in plan B for a few more months?

From Dr. Harley´s messages I get the impression that he believes in waiting for at least a year. Penny has said the same. And they probably base that on the fact that it is the amount of time needed to process the A.
Am at work have to go.

Well....let's see....if someone is putting their own wants and desires AHEAD of obedience to God's commands, NOT listening to or hearing God, why do you suppose that they would listen to or "hear" what you are saying?

This issue STILL remains an issue of her willful disobedience to GOD.

You had an opportunity to again witness to her on this point, to engage her in a discussion of what being obedient to God entails, and that the status of your marriage DEPENDS upon and revolves around BOTH of you being obedient to God and servants of each other. But....you hung up.

So....Who IS talking to your wife about God and her "role" as a child of God and a wife in a marriage covenant with God and you?

Conflict Avoidance. Fun, distracting talk and things to "keep busy." I hear that. But I don't hear "dying" for the one I love. Banter back and forth with other MBers, yes. Hard, soul searching talks with your wife.....nope? She obeys what YOU want....or it's divorce. The issue still remains that her "obedience" still remains first to God, then to you as her husband, not the other way around. The same order that it is for you...obedience to God first, and then husband to your wife "as Christ is husband to the church."

GG, there is still time to stop this insanity train rushing toward divorce....but someone is going to have to start with humbleness instead of pride, endurance instead of impatience, agape love instead of "my rights"....

[color:"blue"]"she asked if we are going to work on our M together." [/color]

Joint Christian Marital Counseling with a counselor trained in Nouthetic Counseling. You do it TOGETHER. You submit to God TOGETHER.

It begins with, and ends with, "If you love me, obey my commands."

It does NOT begin with..."it's easy and will not be 'hard'."

FGG....I continue to pray for you and your wife.

God bless.

FH:

FGG said, and you 2uoted:

"I told her that I was not interested in being married to a wife with another man involved. She started this thing about how I don't understand, it's not like that....blah blah blah....

Then she started saying that I am wanting out of the marriage and I am using this as an excuse...and I hung up on her."

Sounds 2 me like he said exactly what you are asking that he say, only not in so many words.

He's following the MB plans, empirical methods that "work" more often than not. If he had elaborated on what he said and engaged in this convo any further, he'd have gotten nowhere - precisely what plan B is designed 2 avoid.

FH, did you ever do plan B? I honestly don't remember. Sounds like you're not in favor of it. I didn't either, and I'm not excited about it, but obviously for different reasons.

-ol' 2long

I've never been able to understand why you have to get divorced and not just legally separated. One year of legal separation is required in my state before one can get divorced. Our legal separation lasted 3 months, really shorter.

Anyways, Georgia. You know me better than most people I come in contact with every day. What matters is what is on the inside. Plus, we believe there's a Heaven. I plan to meet you there someday..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

FH,

I just finished reading a very interesting chapter out of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

You keep saying the same things over and over again to FGG, and getting the same feedback.

Might I suggest considering which of the five types of communication you are attempting to be understood with? And which type might be more effective in helping you help FGG?

P.S. Reference "Seek to understand, then to be understood" chapter.

FH -

A couple of quotes from you:



I must say I don't really, in many ways, understand you at all. You say this like this is a fresh revelation of some sort, if only I "witnessed" to her about her obligation to God. FH, I'm not sure you understand reality. Do you suddenly expect some light bulb to go off like suddenly it's all so clear to her now? This is the woman who has calmly, amazingly, asked me time and again if I had rather be right or married. My choice. This is the woman who has a "special" agreement with God that what she is doing is okay because He "understands" her, and the Bible doesn't apply to her situation because she is special.

Perhaps what you want to hear me say is this: I have had it with discussions with her. I, for the sake of my own sanity, will have no more of them, period. This is my choice. Anyone, not just me, who tries to carry on this life changing conversation that you seem to espouse (including her own parents) walks away shaking their head in disbelief.

Notice I didn't capitalize any of the above letters, so I'm not yelling. Do you not realize the amount of times in the last 5 years that we (she and I) have had that conversation, with an open Bible in front of us?

Georgia

P.S. - Mimi, you know me, too.

FH,
Over some time, reading your posts to GG and after reading others' posts to gently tell YOU, let the guy be....will ya? Enough!

On lighter note GG,

You wrote your birthday is later this month......what's the day? A Taurus?

Oh, GG, for your blossoming artistic side, make yourself a set of Runes out of the clay from your pottery class. I have a set I call upon from time to time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Ac2ally, I think he drives a Honda, though a Taurus would be more along the lines of a Ford POS I've been trying 2 get him 2 consider, 2 go along with the dark sunglasses and the MIB suit! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I get the Hudson, FGG. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

No, FGG, I don't expect a "light bulb" to go on. I "expect" no more that God commands us to do.

We are to stand ready to give an answer for why we believe.
We are to "sow the seeds" that GOD will use to reach and work in the hearts of sinners. It is NOT our job or responsibility to "save" anyone or "force" anyone to accept Christ and obedience to God.

This is your WIFE, FGG. WHO is going to "witness" to her, regardless whether or not she responds "immediately?" How long is TOO LONG to witness for the Lord?

If it's easier to get frustrated and mad at me, then fine.

No one but God can reach your wife, but that doesn't absolve us of the responsibility of standing for God in our marriages. Even Jesus Christ leaves the "secure" sheep of His and goes off in search, no matter how long it takes, to find a lost sheep of His and lead it back to where it should be. Can the "lost sheep" make it harder to be "found" by ignoring the shouts of the searcher and "hiding" from them? Sure. But again that doesn't mean to stop searching, it just means that it might take longer before it's resolved.

Is it hard on you? You bet. It's emotionally and physically draining. Believe me FGG, I KNOW personally how hard it is to "keep going" sometimes.

I continue to hope things get better for you, but as Mimi said, I just don't get the need to rush to divorce. YOU, not your wife, is seeking the divorce.

So suffice it to say, I'll back off. I will continue to keep you and your wife in my prayers if you don't mind. If you do mind, say so.

God bless.

2long: No, I never went to a strict Plan B, I went to a separation and a "modified" Plan B. No, I don't believe in a strict plan unless a very good Plan A has been tried without success first.

Personally,

I agree that WGG should divorce his wife. That doesn't mean their relationship is over. But I do think he needs a divorce in order for him to move on with his life ~

Just because they divorce doesn't mean that with enough time, counseling and faith, they couldn't get back together again. In fact I think this might happen!

But I don't think she will get any true meaningful message from him, until she BELIEVES he's gone.

Only the consequences of her car tire problem and lawn mower have motivated her to call and talk to him; then quickly the conversation turns to her trying once again to convince him to accept OM in her life.

She hasn't begun to feel the natural consequences in store for her. And she's one person I believe who REALLY need to feel them before she desires a change in HER behavior.

Who knows where WGG will be literally and emotionally by the time if/when she wakes up?

WGG,

About the Grand Canyon.... I have to say it's life-changing to go. Spiritual in a way I struggle for words.

You enjoy photography - the sunrises and sunsets are SPECTACULAR!!

I haven't been to the bottom by mule; however I suspect if I went all the way down that's how I'd have to go.

My father and I went to the GC the first time. He's not in shape to do anything but enjoy it from the rim. I was mesmerized upon site - and couldn't help but start down the south rim trail (I've forgotten the name).

I had water and a small amount of food. I told myself I'd just go around one bend and head back. I couldn't stop..went past several warning signs about the need for water, food etc if planning to go further.

Before I realized it, I was 1/2 way down...I knew if I continued I wouldn't make it back out before nightfall; and my poor dad was waiting for me at the top of the trail!!! He would have waited all night if he had to - he's such a dear man!!

So, with great regret I turned around. I was in pretty good shape at the time, aclimated to the altitude, lack of humidity etc.....however, it was grueling - you can't believe the muscles you use walking down the steep decline, and the enormous effort it takes to climb back out.

I made it; but felt very lucky....I was surprised at the effort it took.

We have many friends who backpack up and down. They like to go in March before it gets too hot. The top isn't the problem, but when you get down to the bottom, the climate is similar to Phoenix.

If you decide to go by mule - you MUST make your reservation early. If they're sold out - you still have to go, even if you start with just touring the south rim. Jeb could go with you, in the car or if you hike, unless they've changed the rules. There's probably a website that gives detailed information.

All I can say is it's one of the most magical places I've ever been. It's so spectacularly beautiful on such a grand scale - you almost can't believe it's real.

In fact, I'm trying to make our plans to go by there as we vacation this summer. I think we're heading to California!!

Good Morning, all -

I stayed home last night (after having the oil changed in my car) and read. I had the library get a couple of books that I wanted to read. My reading of C.S. Lewis as of late has sparked my interest in his life. I checked out the book by his wife (Joy Davidman) that is her treatise on the 10 commandments. I started reading it and it is pretty interesting. She was Jewish and also at one time a member of the Communist party, which she apparently later turned from.

Also, I checked out the autobiography ("Lenten Lands") of her son, Douglas, whol lived with her and C.S. after their marriage. That also seems like some interesting reading.

So, last night Jeb and I laid on the couch and read a long time. It was nice to have a quiet night to myself and do nothing (which I do very well these days). Oh, while my oil was being changed, I walked to a nearby store and bought some big flower pots for the front steps. I've got to go elsewhere for some flowers, and I'll probably get those tonight. I thinking tons of petunias which grow easily (as long as you pinch off the dead blooms) and will bloom colorfully all summer.

I have an e-mail from WW this morning. No mention of the income tax, but she brings up several bills that are due (such as car tags). Apparently she doesn't understand, yet, that she sued me for support. We have a court order of what I am to pay, a tag for her car is not one of them.

However, some were medical bills which I have written back and told her to mail me copies of the bills and I will pay them.

Ragamuffin - Okay, I've got to ask, what is a "runes"? I've made lots of "ruins", but no "runes" that I am aware of, anyway.

B'day is 22nd.

And...CSue, the GC does sound nice. I may have to give some serious thought to getting there soon and taking some photos.

Thanks to all for your input and encouragement. It means a lot to me to read your thoughts each day.

Georgia

You forgot to mention the GODDESS by name again! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />