Good Morning -

I got home, Reggie was waiting for me. I told him that I would walk Jeb and change clothes, then come out and play.

So, we played a game of HORSE, but he had a hard time spelling HORSE. The second game he asked if we could play REGGIE. So we did...

When we finished, he asked if I wanted to see the award he got at school yesterday. I told him sure I did, so he went in and got it. It was one of those ribbon things with a medal attached. The medal had musical notes and instruments on it. I asked him if he sang or played an instrument and he said neither. However, he got the award for being the best behaved student in his music class.

He then told me some of the kids write cuss words on the wall. I said, "Reggie, you don't do that do you?". He said no, but he thinks cuss words in his mind but he doesn't say them. I told him that it is good if you can learn not to think cuss words too. He wanted to know why because no one knows what he is thinking. I told him that God knows what he is thinking. This seemed to be a foreign concept to him and he didn't wish to pursue it.

I told Reggie that I would be moving in 2 weeks but I wasn't going far and I could still come back and visit. He said that May 20 is the last day of school and asked if we could spend some time together before I move. I told him we could.

Then, I spent the evening painting the bedroom. I'm about 1/2 done.

Georgia

Georgia,
I´m glad that you{re so busy and making a difference in that child´s life. What I don´t get is why you´re painting the bedroom if you´re leaving?? Just curious.

Hah!! I was wondering if anyone would ask that question. I was testing to see who was paying attention. Congrats cc,you win.

I have a 6 month lease which stipulates that I will pay a $150 penalty if I leave before 6 months. As I've only been there 4 months, I will have to pay that. So..I told the landlord that I would paint the bedroom if he would waive the $150 penalty, and he agreed.

Plus, I'm enjoying leaving the place looking so much better. The walls were kinda a flat peach color, and a very sloppy paint job. I am painting them a light sage green, which really looks good with the dark wood trim. Plus, I'm painting the picture rail a dark brown to match the dark wood trim. The place is DEFINITELY in better shape than when I got there.

Georgia

A problem has come up (I knew things were going too well).

The loan officer called. During the review of my package, it was noted that I am separated due to an action by my wife, not by my filing for a divorce. This is apparently a problem for some reason I'm yet to understand.

The loan officer is going to talk to the underwriter to see if we can find a work-around. However, it will be tomorrow before she can meet with him as he's out of town today.

Georgia

But, Georgia:

Don't they have this wrong? Aren't you REALLY filing for the divorce? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

I'm sure that this can be worked out, though.....

So go back to feeling good.....

AND call back to clarify to make sure they have things straignt.

You know me with the OCD. CHECK, CHECK and DOUBLE-CHECK! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Don't worry Mimi...the engineer in me has been awakened and I'm on top of it....

Here is the e-mail I sent to the loan officer:

"I'm sure you don't want more details than you need to know, however, some of this may be germane to the conversation you have with your underwriter. I'll try to keep it short and sweet with just the facts.

Late 2003 - My wife began an inappropriate relationship with another man that she met on an internet chat room.

December 6, 2004 - I gave her a letter indicating she must choose marriage or the other relationship.

January 28, 2005 - I moved out of our house and rented an apartment as her relationship was continuing. I had no legal recourse to remove her from our home.

February, 2005 - I advised my attorney (xx) to file for a divorce. However, during the week he was preparing the papers we were served with the "separate maintenance" papers from my wife. Therefore, he responded with a countersuit for divorce rather than filing an initial filing for a divorce.

March 28, 2005 - We appeared for our temporary hearing before Judge xx xx who granted the temporary alimony as you saw.

As the 30 day waiting period has passed, I have advised Mr. xx to go forward with a final court date. We met last Tuesday and he anticipated the final date to be 4 - 6 weeks away, and expected to have the final date by last Friday. I'm not sure why that hasn't been set yet.

By the way, we have stated in our countersuit that the "marital home" (xx xxxxx) is to be sold. I (and I alone) will be moving out of my apartment and into xxx Avenue immediately upon closing as my primary residence.

I hope this is enough information to clear up the mystery of who is divorcing whom. (My wife doesn't deny the relationship with the other man)."

I have called the loan officer back and she said she this will probably be okay. She said their main concern is to assure the home I'm buying is my primary residence and not to be used for rental property. She said this was flagged because I already own a home worth 2 1/2 X the price of the one I am purchasing.

The good part is that I am dealing with a locally based bank and the decisions are made here. The loan officer knows me from previous business. So, I think we will be able to work this out.

Georgia

Still reading, still praying for (all) of you.

Often I wish I had more time to talk. There are so many good people here.

Mimi, I have some thoughts on co-D. Are you done with that, or still thinking on it?

SS

FGG:

I'm betting it'll get worked out quickly. Your ability 2 buy the home certainly isn't in 2uestion, since it's based on your income and debt ratio. So, simply clarifying that it will be your primary residence should be sufficient.

I'm betting the problem's already gone. Right?

best,
-ol' 2long

Georgia:

I figured out how to do the E-Mail to CC during my walk this afternoon. You made me realize that there had to be a way!

Thanks, as usual for your help!

Good Morning -

Thanks, still, for you comments and prayers. Glad to know you're there.

The loan officer told me she will be meeting with the underwriter this morning and will discuss my situation. She said she should be able to let me know by lunch today what he says.

Last night I painted more on the bedroom. I've only got one wall left and I'm done. Sage green and dark wood look great together, I'm leaving the place looking really nice (on the inside at least). The owner sodded the lawn this week and that has helped the outside a lot. However, seems to me like the rotten wood on the outside would be taking a higher priority.

Also, I talked to the homeowner last night. He told me that he would give me a price today on selling me their refrigerator and washer / dryer. The refrigerator matches the other kichen appliances (range, microwave/hood) so I would like to keep that one if possible.

Tonight is the last bible study / dinner for the summer. I'm going to miss that on Wednesday nights.

Georgia

oh, one more thing...

#1S called last night. When he got home from work, DIL met him in the driveway holding an envelope. Seems like he had gotten mail from Jim Booth Studio in Charleston. So...DIL knows what she is getting, but she hasn't seen it yet.

Saturday is graduation for her.

Georgia

Good Morning, Georgia:

Just checking in to say HELLO!

What did Reggie say about you moving? I do hope you will continue your relationship with him. It sounds like he really NEEDS you....

Good Morning, Mimi...

I told Reggie on Monday that I would be moving. He told me his last day of school is May 20 and asked if we could spend some time together before I move. I told him we would. He really didn't seem too upset, and I told him that I would be just around the corner and I would walk back over to see him.

I wish his mom was a little more trusting. Perhaps that will come in time if I continue the relationship.

The park nearby has basketball courts, tennis courts, is a "disc golf" course, etc. I think Reggie could really have a good time there if his mom would let me take him over there. But I know she wouldn't go for that, she won't even let him get out of his own yard.

As I said earlier, I am tasking YOU with making sure I continue to visit him, okay?

Georgia

I probably shouldn't make this assumption. However, I think that Reggie is accustomed to men leaving him. Maybe that accounts for some of his M's distrust, trying to shield him from hurt.

I will keep you accountable, Georgia.

I'm sad for Reggie.

Really. Go see the movie CRASH if you get a chance. It may help you understand your community, Reggie and his M even better!

Okay, CRASH it is.

Here is the big news, e-mail from the loan officer:

"My underwriter would like the following and nothing more:

Rental reference from your landlord (I send the form, just need their name and address)

Letter from your attorney stating that you are separated and have filed a motion for divorce, have moved into a rental temporarily, intend to occupy xxx as your primary residence, requesting the marital home be sold, expect your court hearing within the next several months."

So....looks like we are over that big hurdle!! Good news indeed, I was sweating that one.

Georgia

GREAT NEWS, GA!

BTW, I've got to share this. H and OS have been working closely together in their business over the past couple of days. They HUGGED when my OS departed last night. H asked OS to spend the night with us tonight. OS agreed but with some reluctance so I will cook a family dinner for them all.

UNBELIEVABLE!!

and....in other BIG news.

I just talked to the attorney's office about getting the letter written for the bank.

They have received a "notice to produce" from WW's attorney. Apparently they are wanting copies of all my financial records and such. I'm not too surprised about this. I don't know if this is a legitimate attempt to "discover" facts or if it's just a stall tactic.

My attorney has rightfully noted that WW is living much better now than she will after the divorce. Nice house, mortgage paid by me, utilities paid by me, car and medical insurance paid by me, etc. So...he anticipates that her lawyer may do these "notice of discovery" thing as a way to keep WW living at my expense as long as possible.

Appointment with the attorney next Wednesday.

Georgia

Mimi...that is so WONDERFUL!!!

I know that you are thrilled. Put on that DOMESTIC GODDESS apron and tiara tonight and wow them with your culinary skills.

Is there a favorite dinner that they enjoy? I'm having #1S/DIL over tomorrow night. I'm doing grilled pork chops, haven't decided about the side stuff yet.

Georgia

FGG,

I'm glad to see that things are moving along nicely on the house purchase.

As for your WW dragging things out to continue her lifestyle at your expense, you have my sympathies. It is something that I have feared in my situation. If I move out, will my W still agree to sell "the big house"? She says she won't try to keep it - doesn't need it etc. But, if she drags her feet, things would get very tight financially. All she has to do is refuse to do the uncontested divorce, and she would stretch the marriage out for another year - since it takes over a year to get a court date on a contested D here.

Can your wife force you to make the house payments? It would put your credit in the dumpster, so I hope it doesn't come to the point of having to default on the loan in order to force her out.

I think Mimi is right. Reggie may have a built-in assumption that any man in his life will leave, so when he didn't show much dissapointment it may be because he has learned not to invest too much emotional energy is such relationships. You can prove him wrong by continuing to visit him. I think he needs you!

I'm supposed to be off of MB. I even asked the mods to ban my office computer so that I wouldn't be tempted to read/post during work hours. I guess they didn't do it - so here I am. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I might as well go update my thread.

-AD

I had the attorney's office fax the paper work over to me. I am truly dismayed.

The list of items asked for is 11 pages long and comprises 39 items. Wow....

And...there are things that are in HER possession, not mine. So, that answers the question about why she is doing this, it is definitely not to seek real answers.

About the house issue, my attorney plans to stipulate that there be a penalty clause if the house isn't sold within a certain amount of time. He says he has seen cases where it has taken years to sell a house because the spouse still living in it will just refuse to show it when an agent calls.

Man...I can't believe this list of stuff I've got to come up with.

Georgia